Chapter 13
The sun had enjoyed the peak of its daily reign, and began to descend for its exit, to be swallowed by the placid sea, a sight Namtan would have enjoyed taking in, if she hadn't enjoyed watching Film's graceful smile so much more.
In the few short hours that Film had to spend with Bonnie, Namtan had learned many things about her.
She'd learned that Film's laughter was the sweetest sound she'd ever heard in the world, though, to be fair, Namtan already knew that. It was light and airy and incredibly honey-like, a compliment to her typically preserved, calm voice.
She would have blindly followed that laugh into the darkness at a moment's notice.
She'd learned that Film had been a fighter in her younger days, defending Bonnie from just about everything and anything that crossed her path. Namtan had to bite back a smile and young, fiery Film, defensive and perhaps a bit much.
She'd learned that their time spent under Nia Tips, whom Namtan hated without knowing, had made them nearly inseparable. They didn't go into specifics; Namtan had surmised that it was too painful. But she understood what was implied, she'd read between the lines.
The fact that Film ever had to throw herself in front of Bonnie to shield her from their own mother, foster or not, it broke Namtan.
She'd managed to hide her tears with her sunglasses, careful only to allow herself a sniffle when Film was busied with Bonnie's ramblings.
Namtan had managed to fend off her own family, as they respected her wishes to give Film the privacy she's so deserved with Bonnie.
They had settled for walking and talking, with Namtan doing a great bulk of the listening. She noticed the way Bonnie squirmed and wiggled her way between herself and Film, greedily taking one of their hands each in her own as she swung them on her walk, chest puffed proudly as she told Film of her many accolades and accomplishments.
Occasionally, Bonnie would turn and smirk at Namtan, as if sharing an inside secret with her, like they were the best of friends.
Occasionally, Film would glance at Namtan over Bonnie's ramblings and give her a knowing smile, rolling her eyes at the way her little sister would huff exaggeratedly when she'd found they'd been "canoodling", as she put it, behind her back.
Namtan swore, it was a wonder the two weren't related.
James Gross was long gone, seizing the rare opportunity to get some errands done without Bonnie, who'd proven to be more than a handful. He'd promised Film to pick her up as soon as they needed him, and was off before a word could be put in edgewise.
Between her ramblings and her inability to hone her focus on one single subject for more than three seconds, Bonnie had declared her hunger, glancing up at each girl with a hopeful smile.
Film rolled her eyes. "Of course you played Namtan to get you dessert beforehand."
Bonnie smiled proudly, chuckling to herself at Namtan's feigned gape of protest. "I knew you wouldn't let me. You'd probably make me run it off, or something."
At that, Namtan was in hysterics while Film scoffed, rolling her eyes as she dragged her two idiots to the café by the edge of the corner, feeling an odd sense of completion in her life that she never knew she needed.
*
"How does this look?" Lookmhee asked, narrowing her eyes at her own reflection as she took in her dress clad body in the boutique dressing room.
Sonya tried not to gape from her nonchalant seat in the back, arms folded, legs crossed lazily. "Fine." She replied briskly.
Lookmhee smirked. "I am fine, aren't I?"
Sonya rolled her eyes, but found a smile tugging at her lips. "You don't need me in here. Or the mirror. You're your own biggest fan."
Lookmhee shrugged, "If I won't be, who will?"
Sonya bit her lip. This was ridiculous. This was some schoolgirl crush. This was pathetic, and slightly unnerving. And yet, she found herself unable to move on.
I will.
The words were dancing on the tip of her tongue, begging to be shared, their results to be explored.
Instead, Sonya settled on a tight smile. "I like that about you, Lookmhee." She muttered, and Lookmhee's smile only grew in the reflection.
And then, Lookmhee's phone went off, slicing into the thick silence like an unwelcome blade, ruining any sense of serenity the women shared for a moment.
"Ten?" Sonya guessed dryly, not bothering to check. "That's the fifth time in the last hour, Lookmhee, maybe it's a hostage situation. Or something needs to be neutralized before it explodes. What is it you do again?"
Lookmhee ignored her with a huff, turning her attention back to stripping, wondering why she'd let Sonya into her changing room. One glance back at Sonya's sharp jawline and little half smile, similar to Film's, was enough of an answer.
"You gonna answer that?" Sonya cocked a brow. "Ten is waiting."
Lookmhee sighed. "No, it's not a booty call from Ten, would you lay off? I told you I'm not into him."
Sonya rolled her eyes. "He's very into you."
Lookmhee shrugged off the dress, and Sonya took a moment to appreciate the perfection that was Lookmhee's body, all milky, slicked, and toned to perfection. Her abs were a work of art, firm and inviting.
Lookmhee Rachanun was a spectacle.
"So why don't you do something about it?" Lookmhee smirked, slipping her old outfit on with a sigh of effort.
"Like what?" Sonya scoffed. "Pop a squat and ask you to marry me, like Lingling and Orm?"
Lookmhee grinned. "Oh, so in this relationship, you're proposing now? I always thought it'd be me."
Sonya froze, giving Lookmhee a look. "You imagined our relationship?"
Lookmhee nodded, exaggerating every aspect of her delivery, from her features to her tone. "Oh yeah. Married, kids, the whole nine yards."
Sonya rolled her eyes once more, feeling an odd tingling at the pit of her stomach. That wasn't disappointment, no, it was relief, she told herself. "What would we name our kids?" She asked, deciding to buy into Lookmhee's madness.
"Namtan and Film." Lookmhee snorted. "We already have them."
*
"I'm just saying, it's obvious you two like each other." Bonnie slurped happily on the straw to her lemonade, eyeing Namtan and Film with a cheeky grin.
Film buried her face in her hands, mortified, while Namtan blushed and glanced away.
"Bonnie, shut up." Film growled, but the threat was void.
Namtan smirked, turning to Bonnie with a look of intrigue. "Don't listen to her."
"I never do." Bonnie returned proudly, watching Film glare at her murderously.
"What makes you say that?" Namtan decided. "That we like each other?" Namtan elaborated once more.
"Film likes pretty girls." Bonnie shrugged like it wasn't rocket science, and Namtan found herself grinning.
"Bonnie." Film's tone was warning slightly, but the girl found that she was on a roll with Namtan, and the reward of her laughter outweighed Film's embarrassed pleas for help.
Besides, it looked like Film needed a wingman. Badly. She never operated this slowly, and the little girl was simply perplexed as to why.
Bigger concepts like the loss of the only true friend, hell, family, that Film had didn't even occur to her as a risk.
It was a no-brainer.
"I'm flattered." Namtan hummed, hazel eyes sparkling across the table to find Film's embarrassed brown gaze. "But, I mean-how do you know we like each other?" Namtan had to wonder if her attraction was simply that obvious.
It was.
"It's in the little things." Bonnie shrugged, like she knew exactly what she was talking about.
Namtan smirked at Film from across the table, enjoying the way the brunette wanted to melt into her seat. This was certainly more entertaining than shopping.
"Bonnie don't-" Film's protests were cut off.
"Film doesn't usually giggle." Bonnie began, dutifully betraying Film right before her eyes. "She giggles a LOT with you."
Namtan nodded, making a face at Film. "Interesting. Continue."
"Film's trying extra hard." Bonnie replied matter-of-factly. "She's wearing makeup."
"Bonnie, shut up." Film rolled her eyes.
Namtan smirked. "Come on Ni, I've seen you on your worst days, and even those are beautiful."
Bonnie coughed awkwardly between them, and they returned their attention to her, Film blushing and muttering something particularly unsavory.
"You call her 'Babi'." Bonnie spoke wryly. "That's new."
"Really?" Namtan glanced at Film in surprise. "I just started calling you that, if I'd know you didn't like it-"
Film shook her head almost instantly. "No." She corrected. "I like it when you call me that." She admitted.
She blinked as an arm occupied the space between them and a personal pizza was set down in front of Bonnie, while a single sandwich split into two halves came down for Film and Namtan.
"Also..." Bonnie began, reaching gingerly for a slice of pizza. "She hates sharing food. She acts like she likes to be healthy but, I've caught her stealing pizza from me before."
Film's eyes widened as she ever so gently slapped Bonnie's arm, watching as Namtan fell into another fit of laughter.
"Bonnie, are you trying to help me, or make me look like a complete idiot?" Film mumbled, burying her face in her hands.
Bonnie's cheeky smile was priceless. "She already likes you." She shrugged. "I'm just helping my sister out."
Namtan took in a breath of air, cheeks hurting from all the laughter and the genuine smiling. It was so nice to see Film at ease around someone. Even if she was exposing every intricate little detail about their relationship.
"You know, Film, you should meet my boyfriend." Bonnie chirped between a bite of pizza.
Film nearly choked on her bite, and Namtan immediately gripped her knee under the table to check if she was alright.
"What?" Film demanded, instantly falling into her protective sister function. "Bonnie, you're only-"
Bonnie snorted with laughter, watching the way Film's expression softened when she realized she was kidding.
"Please, Film. If it takes me as long as it takes you, I won't have one until I'm seventy."
Film narrowed her eyes at her, trying to ignore Namtan's snickering from the other side of the table.
Namtan thought of talking to Film seriously, about their relationship, and where they stood.
But there was time for that later. Namtan knew she couldn't let these feelings go unaddressed. More than anything, she wanted to keep her position as Film's confidant and best friend, until she was emotionally ready, however long it took.
"Excuse me for just a sec, guys." Namtan murmured apologetically as she slipped her money onto the table for when the bill arrived.
As soon as she excused herself to the bathroom, out of earshot, the war of siblings began.
"Bonnie!" Film admonished, but there was no malice behind her quiet hiss. "What was that?"
Bonnie was calm, cheeky as ever. "Film, you like her."
Film sighed in exasperation. "Bonnie, things are more complicated than you'd think."
"I don't get adults." Bonnie mumbled, rolling her eyes. "You used to make sense."
Film sighed, shaking her head. She pushed Namtan's money away, readying her own for the bill.
Bonnie noticed that, being the sharp girl she was. "You can afford this?"
Film gave her a small smile, ruffling her hair. "You don't have to worry about me, Elle."
"Because Namtan's taking care of you?" Bonnie asked gently, clearly not entirely grasping the situation.
Film stiffened at that. That was essentially what was going on, right? Film was practically using Namtan. She felt sick. All the meals, the drinks, the fun nights, the hotel-she hadn't paid a dime. And she was only there to get Keith's funding. She bit her lip, swallowing the bile that rose in her throat. She was disgusted with herself.
Bonnie seemed to pick up on her discomfort. "Film, why don't you just talk to her?"
As if it were the simplest thing in the world.
And maybe it was.
"I'm not ready." Film mumbled. That much was true. Even without all the obstacles in place, she wasn't sure if she was emotionally ready to let someone back in. Sure, Namtan made her heart flutter and her insides ache, but Namtan was also the only best friend and family she truly had. After Tips, she was terrified of losing that. She'd found the strength to build herself up once more, with help from people like Sonya. But now? She didn't have the strength for a repeat performance.
Bonnie nodded slowly, always the understanding soul. She owed Film that much, though she never held her accountable for anything.
"So just be with her." She shrugged. "I guess maybe you don't have to say anything. Sometimes, when I don't feel like talking to James, he just keeps doing other stuff with me anyway. So we don't avoid it, but we wait until I'm ready. Maybe you can do that with Namtan."
Film's eyes widened in surprise, at Bonnie's insightful comment. Maybe she was right. Maybe she needed to at least give Namtan some inkling of how she felt, some morsel of fondness before the main course. They'd already confessed their love for each other in a way, right? Even if it had been platonic in intent, Namtan wouldn't rescind her love if Film interpreted it for more, right?
"Do what with me?" Namtan hummed as she slid into her seat.
Film blinked in shock and Bonnie was the first to recover. "You could show Film how to draw. She's terrible."
Namtan let out an airy laugh, and met Film's smile across the table. "Really? Film, I don't think I've ever seen you draw."
"Namtan, I draw like you play chess." Film replied smoothly, sipping her drink.
Namtan's jaw dropped. "Wow. Going for the kill today, are we nerd?"
Film was about to respond when the waiter arrived, bidding them all a wonderful afternoon.
"Excuse me, what about the check?" Film asked curiously, her card in her hands.
The waiter smiled. "Your friend handed me her card as soon as you entered." He winked at Namtan who offered Film a cocky smile as they stood, gathering their things.
"Unbelievable." Film murmured, shaking her head as Bonnie grinned at their antics.
"Hey." Namtan whispered in her ear, walking behind her. "Next time, if you want to pay, ask me out on a proper date."
Film had to fight off the chills that came with Namtan's husky, breathy voice in such close proximity to her ear.
So maybe she wasn't just imagining things.
*
Film's farewell to Bonnie was more difficult for Namtan than it was for either party actually involved.
Bonnie had whispered a "thank you" to Namtan as she bent down to hug her, and then added, "Please don't hurt her feelings."
Namtan's lip actually trembled at that and she whispered back, "I would never."
Film watched the two of them with mild curiosity, but asked no questions, simply kneeling and enveloping Bonnie into the biggest of hugs when it was officially her turn. Bonnie clung to her, taking in her scent.
Namtan felt her heart beat violently in her chest. Film Rachanun would be the death of her.
"You should be brave and go for it." Bonnie whispered, nudging her with her elbow.
Film just gave her a little smile and shook her head, rising up from their hug.
"Hey, keep in touch, okay?" Film murmured. "I don't want to wait this long to see you again."
Bonnie nodded enthusiastically. "I will. Love you, Film!" She called, before turning to dart over to James, who'd respectfully given them space.
"Bye." Film gave them a small wave, trying to fend off the wave of emptiness that seemingly swept over her like the orange that now dominated the late afternoon sky.
Film watched their receding figures with a small smile, blinking in surprise when she felt Namtan's arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her into a tight hug.
"She's cute." Namtan commented wryly, smiling when Film leaned back into her embrace.
"Maybe you should fake date her, then." Film rolled her eyes, smiling nonetheless.
"Mmm, tempting, but-" Namtan shrugged. "Isn't it against the rules to date your best friend's sister?"
Film shook her head. "Never mind that she's like fifteen years younger." She teased, turning to face Namtan fully.
Namtan allowed her to shift, smiling genuinely, searching Film's eyes for unspoken feelings, traces of emotion she was so proficient at guarding with her words.
She found her own heart fluttering in response. Film had the most beautiful eyes.
"Are you happy?" Namtan asked softly.
"More than I ever have been." Film admitted with a whisper, wishing she had the courage to convey all of her sentiments to Namtan. She'd never been particularly good at that.
"I'm glad." Namtan smiled. "If anyone deserves happiness, it's you." She offered her hand to Film, nodding towards the beach. "A walk?"
Film glanced behind her wearily. "What about your family?"
"You're right here." Namtan grinned, tugging her hand as soon as she laced it with Film's.
Film couldn't help the smile and nervous laugh that bloomed within her.
She and Namtan had never been closer. She couldn't have imagined this in her wildest dreams. She'd gone from the bookish, standoffish loner, with practically no one by her side, to Namtan Tipnaree's best friend. To Namtan Tipnaree's family.
She'd always felt lost, alone. She'd always envied those around her who'd had everything, while she struggled to make a name for herself, to tell herself that eventually, through hard work and sacrifice, she too could have a home.
As she was quickly learning, Namtan's arms felt a lot like home. Namtan's smiles and whispers, her giggles, and oh god, the taste of her lips on Film's.
She knew that, when the time was right, she'd have to say something to her. To share some speck of what she was feeling, to give Namtan even the vaguest idea of how she felt. She promised she would.
"It's really beautiful here." Namtan sighed, shaking her head as they stepped onto the golden sands, admiring the way the breeze tossed Film's hair. "Why the hell did we move to that damn arctic tundra again?"
Film snorted. "D.C. is not arctic."
Namtan rolled her eyes. "Always picking on the specifics. You know what I mean. Why'd we move to the center of all evil, home of the American government? Oh quick, Film, give your phone, we have to go into hiding now."
Film bit her lip to keep from laughing at Namtan's antics. After she took a moment to recover, eyeing the way Namtan's shoes left gentle prints in the somewhat-packed sand, she gave her response, her true thoughts on the matter.
"I'm glad you did." She murmured quietly, eyes training on the horizon as they made their way back in the general direction of the hotel.
Film wasn't really sure how they were going to get back. She wasn't sure where they were going, or how long it would take. She also didn't care, at all. If Namtan decided to turn halfway and instead lead Film into the ocean with a simple tug of her wrist, Film would have followed, blindly, unflinchingly.
It was terrifying. Film was terrifying herself, and she didn't know how to stop it. Namtan was both the cure and the disease. Only Namtan had the capability to calm the butterflies she herself had caused in Film's stomach.
Such cruel, sweet torture.
"Hmm?" Namtan hummed in question as Film remembered that she'd said something.
She cleared her throat in a meek attempt to speak. "I'm glad I found you."
"Oh." Namtan sounded surprised, her tone softening when she added, "I know. You made the hellish weather worth it."
Film felt her heart swell at that. "Could you imagine what would've happened if Lookmhee never came out to hit on Sonya the day we met?"
Namtan smirked at the memory, shaking her head. "I would've found you some other way, I'm sure."
Film took in a breath, curiously asking, "You think so?"
Namtan shrugged. "Soulmates typically do."
She said it as if the words were weightless, as if they rolled off her tongue with little to no resistance, no consequence. As if it came naturally to her.
Film took a shaky breath. That's how soulmates were supposed to make each other feel. Weightless and fluttery, and so very alive.
"Namtan, I..." Film began with a sigh, and Namtan stopped walking, turning to face her with a frown.
"Babi? What's up?" Namtan asked, her voice gentle and coaxing.
"I wanted to talk to you about something." Film began, remembering Bonnie's words. She needed to initiate this, at the very least. The rest, the development, could come later.
"Okay, shoot." Namtan smiled, nudging her, "I swear, if this is about paying for the plane tickets again, I'll kick your-"
"No, Namtan-" Film began, biting her lip. "I-I really do need to talk to you. But, I'm-I'm not ready, not just yet. I just-I know this is weird. A lot of this is new, to me. But, you make me want to try new things, and I just-"
Her ramblings were quelled when Namtan gave her a knowing smile and a soft squeeze to her hand. "Film, you know I'm here whenever you're ready."
Film thanked the heavens that she had someone as understanding and wonderful as Namtan Tipnaree in her life.
"Thank you." She whispered.
Namtan felt her heart beat faster. Film was certainly dropping hints, maybe she'd picked them up correctly for once? She decided not to push, not to test Film's boundaries.
She felt her phone buzz into her back pocket, glancing at Lookmhee's name under her texts.
"Ready to go back?" Namtan murmured.
Film nodded, allowing Namtan to lead her back to their family, wearing a face of calm determination.
She'd gotten it out.
Namtan was going to wait for her.
She could do this.
With their arms linked they walked back towards the hotel.
*
"Okay, let me give you a briefing of what's waiting for us in Namtan's parents' suite." Lookmhee announced to Film, Namtan, and Sonya, who'd congregated in the elevator.
"Why does this sound like a big deal?" Sonya scoffed. "It's family game night, not a murder mystery."
Namtan and Lookmhee exchanged looks of pity for the two newcomers.
"Namtan, if she's not going to take this seriously, I want Film." Lookmhee sighed in faux exasperation.
Namtan tugged Film closer, rolling her eyes. "Uh, I've trained my nerd, get your own."
Film gave Namtan a saccharine smile, and the two lingered a bit too long before Lookmhee clapped loudly, forcing them to jump apart.
"This isn't amateur hour, Sonya. This is couple's game night. It's where you drink too much, and the weak are rooted out."
Sonya rolled her eyes. "You have the mental capacity of a five-year-old."
Namtan sighed. "She's actually got a point there. It's a tradition. We split into two's, and it's basically The Hunger Games. I am especially guilty of getting into the competitive nature." She admitted, looking away when Film regarded her with wide brown eyes.
"What's in it for us?" Sonya scoffed.
Lookmhee smirked. "If we win, against Keith and Lana, which we never have-because they're so goddamned in sync-they pay for our bar excursion the night after. Which, trust me, is a big deal."
Sonya smirked at that, and Film rolled her eyes. How mature.
"So, where do they beat you?" Film asked genuinely, her mind beginning to treat game night strategically, like chess.
Lookmhee glanced away when she mumbled, "Pictionary."
At that, Sonya and Film both snorted, falling into fits of laughter, while Namtan and Lookmhee pouted rather childishly.
"Pictionary?" Film breathed between her laughing fits, leaning on Namtan for support.
"It can get pretty intense." Namtan muttered, embarrassed by it all. "Why can't I get a normal family? I have such bad karma."
"Hey, no.." Film shook her head, laughing slightly. "I'd have killed for this."
Namtan rolled her eyes, wrapping her arm around Film's waist as they made their way towards Keith and Lana's grand suite. "Well congratulations, babe, now you have it."