Chapter 11
By the time Film and Namtan had made it back to the others, they'd calmed down considerably. Both girls had their hands laced, comfortably pressed against each other's shoulders as they stepped back into the grand room, surprised to find the slideshow paused on teenage Orm's face.
The lights, while dimmed, were significantly brighter than before, when Namtan had blindly stumbled out to chase after Film.
Namtan furrowed her brow, noting that everyone at the tables had stood, eyes fixed on something she couldn't see. Namtan pulled Film behind her, frowning. "What'd we miss?"
Sonya delivered an accurate blow to her side and Namtan huffed out in surprise.
Film's jaw tightened and she made a movement to step in front of Namtan protectively, a look of indignation on her face at her friend, until Lookmhee chimed in with a hiss.
"Lingling's proposing, shut up!"
Namtan and Film both froze in place, craning their necks to see.
Lingling had, in fact, stepped forward, kneeling in front of Orm, her eyes regarding her as if she were some holy goddess, descending from miles above, just to see her smile.
Namtan swallowed audibly. That was oddly familiar.
Orm was blinking back tears, her hand clapped over her own mouth in shock, while Aira was absolutely the giddy mother of Namtan's nightmares, giggling and squealing and making all sorts of incomprehensible noises while Lana patted her back supportively.
"Orm Kornaphat." Lingling cleared her throat, the emotions thick and tangible in her deep baritone voice. "We've come a long way, haven't we?" She chuckled when Orm nodded comically.
Metawin was watching with his arms folded, looking like he was trying not to cry. Namtan smirked and gave him a little nudge.
"We've been through it all. We've broken up, we've made up, and we've been lovers, acquaintances, friends-maybe that last one for a little too long." She added with a wry laugh.
Film wasn't sure when or how her hand had found Namtan's again, but she felt a squeeze, and her heart tripped over itself in pure bliss and exhaustion.
"What really makes us special is that friendship." Lingling spoke, her intense gaze boring into Orm's cobalt stare, one of her hands clasped in Orm’s, while the other clutched a small velvet box. "We've really gotten to know each other, as more than lovers. As best friends. Your good days are mine, your bad days are mine. Your happiness is mine, your sadness is mine. Your darkest days will be mine, and the best days of my life will be every day I get to wake up to that beautiful smile. That's what makes this so sweet- I'm marrying my best friend. I already know what the future holds for us, this way. You pick me up, you help me stand up every time I've been knocked down. I hope to do the same for you. I couldn't think of a more beautiful love story than ours, the one that's written in your gaze every time I see you. And now-" She turned to motion to everyone in the group. "You've broken the final barrier. I've met your wonderful family, and I'm ready to take them as my own, if you'll all have me. If you will marry me." She finished, turning to Orm with a grin that rivaled anything Namtan had ever seen.
Orm nodded her head so vigorously that Namtan thought it was liable to fall off. She laughed out a little, "Yes, Lingling. Yes!"
Lingling grinned and slid the diamond ring onto her finger, watching the way the light danced off the simplistic design, ever fitting for Orm's simple nature.
"I love you." Lingling grinned once more against her lips as she leaned in, pulling Lingling into a searing kiss as her arms went around her.
"Oh my god!" Aira cried, a sobbing mess already. Lana grimaced slightly, and Namtan stifled a laugh into Film's shoulder. "My baby! Oh my god, we have to plan the wedding!"
"Mom." Metawin grumbled in embarrassment. "It just happened. Maybe ten seconds ago."
When Orm and Lingling parted from Aira's bear hug and hail of kisses, they accepted individual congratulations from everyone, stopping at Namtan and Film.
"Congratulations." Film smiled sweetly, hugging Orm, and laughing in surprise as Lingling swept her into a hug as well. Namtan had noticed the two bonding earlier. She felt her heart swell.
Nothing, no sound was more melodious and pleasing as Film's laugh. It rivaled the voices of the angels singing, the harps of the heaven themselves. It meant Film was happy, and Namtan was soon realizing that was all she wanted in life.
“So, can we expect a double wedding?" Orm smirked, over the sound of Aira hailing the waiters to come with celebratory champagne for the toast.
Film froze and Namtan laughed nervously, glancing back at her.
"Uh." Namtan spoke, her throat suddenly dry.
"No rush." Orm smirked, looking ever like the confident little girl Namtan had known all her life. "Has she told you that she loves you?" Orm added, glancing at Film's forest brown gaze. "Namtan's a bit obvious."
Film nodded, licking her lips and then smiling, completely unsure of what to do.
Luckily, though, Keith had come to her rescue, tapping her and Namtan on the shoulder to hand them two flutes of champagne.
"Just sip and smile." He winked as he whispered to Film, as he'd warned her earlier that their so called "family" was prone to interrogating their newest additions.
Film felt Namtan give her hand a squeeze, and she turned her attention back to the toast, feeling light and heavy all at once.
She wasn't sure about her resolve, about the entirety of the plan itself, and it was only the second evening of a seven-day venture.
Oh, this had to have been some sort of divine torture.
"Can you believe that just happened?" Lookmhee asked in awe as she, Namtan, Film, and Sonya stepped off the main elevator, onto the carpet of the lavish hotel hallways.
"I know." Namtan nodded in agreement, regretting letting Film's hand go from the minute they stepped into the elevator. "That's Orm. Party girl extraordinaire, never tied down by just one person. This seems so sudden, doesn't it?"
"They were together for years." Lookmhee countered.
Film and Sonya remained silent, watching the conversation with curiosity, lingering towards the back of the group together.
"What's your minimum?" Namtan asked suddenly.
"Huh?" Lookmhee echoed, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a look of confusion.
"Like, your minimum amount of time before a proposal is acceptable?" Namtan shrugged.
"A minimum time?" Lookmhee scoffed. "That's stupid. Everyone takes their own time."
Namtan smiled, inwardly delighted at the answer.
"Why, you planning on popping the question to my girl?" Sonya teased, smirking at Namtan and Film with a devilish look in her eyes.
Namtan froze, and Film walked right into her back, arms going out to steady herself.
"No." Namtan shot back with a smirk of her own. "I was wondering when Lookmhee and Faye were gonna tie the knot, actually, but-" She eyed Sonya with a knowing look.
Film breathed a silent sigh of relief. She'd been on the hook too many times for one evening.
"Anyway.." Sonya rolled her eyes, tone suddenly sharp.
Lookmhee swallowed loudly, eyes finding the floor pattern suddenly incredibly interesting.
"Do you mind if I have a word with Film for a moment?" Sonya addressed Lookmhee and Namtan with a tone that was just begging for them to argue. "Maybe in one of our rooms?"
Film's brow shot up in surprise, tone hardening, her more commanding side surfacing. "Sonya." She tsked. "You can't just kick Namtan out of our room-"
"No, go ahead." Namtan offered kindly. "I'll just hang out with Lookmhee until you guys- are finished." She added the last part awkwardly.
Film nodded slowly, watching Namtan carefully, looking for some sign of discomfort, anything at all to symbolize that she wasn't alright.
She just smiled back.
"We'll be quick." Film promised, turning to follow Sonya into the room, key card in hand.
Lookmhee shrugged. "Well, Namtan." She rolled her eyes.
"Those two have a flare for the dramatic, huh? Let's get some drinks from the mini-fridge and enjoy the breeze."
"More?" Namtan sputtered behind her.
"It's called a nightcap, Namtan." Lookmhee informed her as if she were new to the concept of imbibing alcohol to induce sleep.
Clearly, she hadn't seen Namtan in her neediest days when Film was just a wall away.
*
"Do you want to sit outside?" Sonya offered as she followed Film into the hotel room, noting how orderly and clean everything was. Film ran a tight ship.
"No, Namtan will be out there." Film replied, stepping off of her heels, knowing that Namtan was a few walls away, likely doing the same with an over-exaggerated moan. The thought made her chuckle.
"You know this because...?" Sonya decided to bite, her hands on her hips.
"Namtan has a thing for balconies. You know what, never mind." Film shook her head, motioning to the couch. "You so rudely kicked Namtan out of the room her own parents paid for, mind you, so what is it? What's going on?"
"Nothing. I just missed you." Sonya smirked, plopping herself down on the couch like it was her home.
Film sighed, neatly tucking her legs as she found her seat in the comfortable chair in the corner, where Namtan's laptop had been sitting. "Bullshit, Sonya. What's the meaning of this?"
"Look." Sonya sighed, her smirk fading slowly. "Film. Think. Why did you invite me to this?"
Film made a face, and yet, she allowed herself a little chuckle at her friend's antics. "I don't believe I did."
"Okay, mate, ignoring that blow to my self-esteem right there." Sonya quipped, lax and at ease with Film, as always. "But my point is, I'm here for you."
"That would explain why you've been spending so much time with me." Film retorted playfully.
Sonya averted her gaze, unable to face the truth spelled out in the forested expanse of Film's eyes. "You wouldn't want me interrupting your quality time with your sugar lady, would you?" She challenged.
Film rolled her eyes. Sugar lady? Seriously? But remained silent.
What was she supposed to say? That she'd made a dire mistake by coming? That she'd done the one thing Namtan had warned her not to do, jokingly or not, and fell in love with her? That she felt like, maybe even for a moment, a passing second, she'd lied to herself and pretended that this wonderful, amazing family could love her for who she was?
Of course not.
Sonya was a fellow pragmatist. Sonya believed that Film was here with purpose, with circumstance, and reasoning.
"I see you're getting closer to her father." Sonya remarked, eyes now investigating, prodding, searching the depth of Film's as the assault was flipped onto her. "What'd he say?"
"He essentially told me to take care of his daughter." Film replied, her jaw tightening, her knuckles whitening as her vice like grip on the edge of the seat tightened.
Sonya let out a low whistle. "Cool it, girl. What's got you all wound up, then?"
Film glanced away shamefully, as if she were a monster, an abomination. "He offered me the deal."
The silence after that comment was thick, palpable.
Sonya broke it first. "And this is unsatisfactory because?"
"Because it's a lie, Sonya!" Film hissed, careful not to raise her voice in volume, but in intensity. "All of this! These fake smiles, these stories." She shook her head. "I resent it all." Her bottom lip quivered like it had earlier, but this time, she bit down, keeping from exposing herself in yet another display of pathetic weakness.
Sonya's expression softened immediately. "No, it doesn't have to be, Film."
Film sniffled in response, glad the tears that were going to pool in her eyes had ceased.
"I saw you leave, earlier." Sonya spoke gently, her tone uncharacteristically soft. She knew what Film had been through. No prodding was necessary. "Did Namtan understand? Did she take care of you?" Film nodded, feeling a simple warmth bloom in her chest at the mere mention of Namtan.
She tried not to think of her soft touches, her bright smiles, the way she whispered I love you with such beautiful intent.
But Film wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to accept whatever turmoil was burning within her. She wasn't ready to fall and pick herself up all over again. All she'd known was heartbreak. All her life. From her lack of a childhood, tossed around in the system, forgotten and unwanted, to her romantic endeavors, Kapook leaving a foul taste in her mouth.
Film was exhausted, and she didn't want to hurt again. She'd thought it all through. Pragmatically. With hard facts and evidence, leaving feelings out of the equation completely, she decided that she could pull through and soldier on for just a few more days.
For the company. For herself.
"What about Lookmhee?" Film's voice was quiet, and her tight grip relaxed.
"What about her?" Sonya asked, suddenly finding the ceiling to be rather interesting.
Sonya was using the best tactic she and Film knew of. Failure to acknowledge the issue at hand.
So that was the way it was going to be. Unrequited love? Or, worse, in Film's case: possibly mutual love, built on a foundation of lies, and abuse, and a very broken heart.
At least, then, they had each other.
*
The familiar warmth of Lookmhee's chosen scotch radiated throughout Namtan's body, and within seconds, she was feeling more relaxed than she'd been earlier.
Of course, that was no menial accomplishment, considering she'd been worrying about Film ever since she saw the tears on her cheeks, and the little wobble of her normally set lower lip and jaw.
It tore Namtan up inside.
Suddenly, life was very much all about making Film smile again, making sure that she was alright and happy. Namtan never wanted to feel that hollow ache within her soul again. She wanted to simply scoop Film up and protect her, as ridiculous as it seemed.
Film needed no protection. She was intelligent, incredibly so, as well as tough, hardened by a life Namtan never knew, sheltered by privileges she wished Film could have had instead.
Namtan's mind was rampant with thoughts as she stepped out onto the balcony, allowing the breeze to counteract the effects of the alcohol, which had warmed her considerably.
Namtan's eyes found Lookmhee's, in the darkness, and the two clinked glasses before settling into the chairs.
"So." Lookmhee began wistfully. "I'm pretty sure that we did this exactly five years ago. Although, I'm also pretty sure we were drinking some shitty vodka instead." At that, Namtan grimaced, embarrassed for her past self. "And you were hung up on Ten." She added with a wry smile.
Lookmhee shrugged. "I was hot. He was available. It happened."
Namtan always admired her confidence, her ability to accept her decisions and her choices with such open mindedness. It was so beautifully, uniquely Lookmhee.
"And now you're almost engaged. Orm's engaged." Namtan shook her head, numb to the sensation.
"Wow. Who's going to have a kid for the next one?"
Lookmhee averted her gaze instead of laughing at Namtan's joke, and Namtan found herself frowning.
"Mhee." Namtan cleared her throat slightly.
No response.
Namtan had her suspicions. She bit her lip, allowing the moonlight to bathe them in a natural glow.
Lookmhee's eyes met Namtan, and they weren't teary or hazy like Namtan had expected them to be. They were sad, however, lacking their usual glimmer of humor that endeared her to Namtan and so many others.
"When?" Namtan asked softly, without ever directly asking. She'd known Lookmhee long enough to know when they were on the same wavelength.
"A few months." Lookmhee admitted, taking another bold gulp. She blinked hard, and then met Namtan's gaze once more. "She's been living-God, I don't know." She shook her head. "I don't know."
Namtan's heart clenched, and she felt the familiar sensation of secondhand heartbreak rage through her system. She shook her head, hand falling to Lookmhee's thigh comfortingly.
"You knew?" She asked softly, assuming Lookmhee was comfortable discussing it.
"I caught them." Lookmhee admitted sullenly, and yet, there were still no tears.
Namtan was thoroughly impressed. "I'm so sorry." Namtan whispered.
Lookmhee deserved everything in the world, as far as Namtan was concerned. She was gorgeous, brilliant, and insanely well humored. It destroyed Namtan to think that some asshole like Faye could just trample her feelings and her trust with infidelity, as if she weren't human.
"You know what?" Lookmhee chuckled softly. "I'm not."
"You're not?" Namtan repeated, unsure.
"Fuck no." Lookmhee allowed herself a wry smile, and it was contagious. "It was my way out. I was scared. It wasn't right, Namtan. I guess we weren't loving each other in the ways we wanted to be loved."
Namtan suddenly felt incredibly sick to her stomach. Those last words hit hauntingly close to home.
Namtan shoved down her thoughts of Film and nodded.
This was about Lookmhee.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Namtan asked. "Does Sonya know?"
Lookmhee shook her head immediately. "No. I didn't-I don't want everyone worried about me. I am moving out. After that, it'll be official, and-I'll tell the world. Hell, I'll shout it from rooftops." Lookmhee grinned.
Namtan had to crack a smile at that. "So, Sonya..."
"So, Film." Lookmhee countered with a smirk.
Namtan's blush gave her away. "Is it that obvious?"
"To everyone but her, apparently." Lookmhee snorted. "What's wrong with you? Why don't you just sit her down and talk?"
Namtan shook her head. "It's not that simple. Film's special. She's been through so much, and this can't have been easy for her, given her past. I just-I don't want her overwhelmed. Besides, I'm her best friend. I'm supposed to be here to mitigate the damage, not cause it."
Lookmhee nodded, tapping the wall behind her. "No heroic balcony stunts, then?" She smirked.
Namtan rolled her eyes at the sudden change of pace. "Do you know how hard it would be to get across with that stupid dividing wall?"
Lookmhee snorted. "It's possible."
Namtan sighed and stood when she heard Sonya slip into the room, her cue to leave.
"Share the bed, guys." Namtan smirked as she set her glass down, slipping past Sonya by the entrance.
Sonya grabbed her wrist, and not too delicately, either. She turned Namtan around, locking gazes with her, a fire in her eyes.
"Don't hurt her, Tipnaree." Sonya spoke solemnly, and the threat was received. "I've never seen her like this."
Namtan simply gaped. "Huh? I-I wouldn't, ever, she's my best friend. Why-"
"Good." Sonya cut her off, noticing Lookmhee coming over. "We'll see you tomorrow, then." She relinquished Namtan instantly, closing the door with a thud.
Namtan blinked, numb, as she leaned against the wall for support. What had Film told her? What had just happened?
"Hey." Namtan greeted Film, who'd been sitting under the covers, reading something on her laptop, glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose.
Namtan swooned for Film in glasses.
"Namtan." Film greeted with a questioning gaze. "How was your interrogation?"
"Probably no better than yours." Namtan blew out a breathy laugh, heading towards the bed to grab her designated "pajamas", which she'd haphazardly thrown on the bed that morning, much to Film's dismay.
"Sonya can be intense." Film murmured, her eyes emptily scanning the words on the page to ensure that she wasn't staring at Namtan, who was changing just a few feet away.
"I'll say." Namtan grumbled, donning her short shorts and thin top, carelessly tossing her dress aside with a grunt of disdain. She made her way for the bathroom, where Film had organized all of their toiletries for perhaps the billionth time.
Film sat up immediately, eyes widening. "She spoke to you, too?"
Namtan smirked, her mouth full of toothpaste, muttering an answer that sounded something like: "Oh yeah."
Film folded her laptop with a sigh, rising to put it on the dresser, not noticing how Namtan's eyes were glued to her "leg slit" in what was becoming Namtan's favorite little dress that Film wore to sleep. She patiently waited for Namtan to finish cleaning up, and then she prodded once more. "Well?" Her voice sounded anxious, unsure.
Namtan bit her lip. Okay, maybe she shouldn't have mentioned that. "I'm kidding, Film. She just said goodnight."
Film heaved a visible sigh of relief.
"Why?" Namtan countered with a smirk. "Got some big secret?"
"Hardly." Film scoffed.
"Hmm, you're not a secret murderer, are you?" Namtan grinned, making her way for the bed.
"Namtan. You ask that on the first date, not after being best friends with someone." Film reproached, tactfully directing the conversation elsewhere.
Namtan giggled and kneeled on the bed, putting both her hands on Film's shoulders. She eyed Film with great concern. "You're okay, right? This isn't too much for you?"
Film's heart hammered and she felt an indescribable warmth spread through her entire body, weaving its way into her aching soul. She nodded slowly, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry." She winced. "I cannot believe I just-"
"Hey." Namtan tilted her chin up, forcing Film to meet her eyes. "Don't ever apologize for feeling the way you do. This is a favor to me, and I don't want it to hurt you. Say the word, and we're gone. No questions asked. And I'll always be your dork. Nothing changes if you want to go, Film. We can figure out your business some other way."
Film shook her head slowly, allowing a light smile up at Namtan. She didn't understand what she was feeling, but it overwhelmed her, in the sweetest way. Namtan had her unraveling with simple, caring words, words that she'd never heard growing up, words that she needed. That it was okay to feel a certain way, to have doubts, to be less than stoic and unfeeling.
She'd forgotten that, somewhere, along the way.
"Namtan." Film sighed. "I'm fine. I'm enjoying myself, even. I-we'll be fine." She assured, mostly herself, as her eyelids felt heavy. She stifled a yawn, and Namtan chuckled.
"Me too. Did you have a nightcap?" Namtan asked, courteously sliding Film's glasses off for her, folding them and setting them on her nightstand.
Okay, maybe that was a bit more than courteous, but neither girl had time to analyze it, past Namtan's sudden realization of what she was doing, and Film's little reaction of touched surprise.
"Hmm? Oh, no." Film shook her head. "I guess I'm just exhausted."
"Saving people will do that to you." Namtan winked, referring to her lifeguard antics from earlier as she dimmed her lights, turning to Film. "I'm freezing, Babi."
Film rolled her eyes. "You're always freezing."
"You're always hot." Namtan smirked, watching Film shift slightly. "C'mere." Namtan grinned, wrapping her arms around Film as she spooned her, giving her an extra squeeze.
"Oh, so in this relationship, I'm the little spoon?" Film sighed, melting into Namtan's touch.
"Mhmm." Namtan hummed. "You can call it the front spoon, if it makes you feel any better."
"Shut up." Film grumbled into her pillow, eyes closing. Fearing she might give in to the urge of kissing Namtan senseless.
"Love you, Babi." A kissed was pressed against the back of Film’s head.
"I Love you too, Namtan." Film felt that statement in her bones.
*
Film was coming back from her early morning run, disappointedly thinking of how Namtan had gotten hot and rolled away in the middle of the night.
Not that it mattered, or anything.
Little had she known, of course, that Namtan had woken up not too long after her departure, and sighed at the missing warmth.
Film had slipped her keycard into the slot, slick with sweat, absolutely dying to take a shower. She pushed the door open when the lock turned green, and then froze in place when she heard Namtan's voice, specifically uttering her name, in conversation.
She knew eavesdropping was wrong, but technically, she was just coming back to her hotel room.
She cringed at the argument- she would have made a shitty lawyer.
"Right, exactly." Namtan's voice was awfully chipper, and the entire room smelled of fresh coffee. "Just, don't tell Film. Perfect, I'll see you then. I'm excited. Bye!"
Film heard the click of the phone's receiver, and before she knew it, Namtan was walking into the living room, already showered and smelling of coconut and vanilla.
Her eyes locked with Film's and she nearly jumped in surprise, cheeks turning red, smoothing down her summer dress with a gasp. "Babi." Her eyes tried not to linger on Film's exposed abs, and failed considerably.
Film decided to play it cool. Was Namtan having an affair? During their, albeit fake, relationship? Who was on the other end of the line? Was it Ten? Metawin? Jackson? Lookmhee? Sonya? Film bit her lip, forcing out a smile. What didn't Namtan want her to know?
"Hi." Film breathed, removing her earbuds and their wire from her neck, where they'd been sitting. "You're up early." She commented.
"It was cold." Namtan replied, heading over to the coffee pot.
Film nodded awkwardly, licking her lips.
"So, Namtan" She drawled. "What's on the agenda today?"
Namtan rolled her eyes to the heavens and back, and Film bit her cheek to keep from smiling. "Orm wanted to go shopping. And then, of course, there's the dumbest tradition we have, aside from celebrating my birthday on these damned reunions."
"What's that?" Film hummed.
"Family game night." Namtan almost growled, her grip like a vice around the mug. "Which we will own."
Film actually snorted at that, and Namtan grinned at the sound.
"Competitive much?" Film teased. "I hope you don't play like you play chess. Otherwise, we're screwed."
Namtan feigned a look of hurt. "This coffee was for you, but-"
Film smirked. "How sweet."
Namtan handed it to her with a smile. "Don't say I can't cook."
"This is not cooking, Namtan. Might I remind you of the ramen incident?" Film reminded, savoring the hot sip.
"Shut up and take your shower." Namtan teased. "I'd hug you but, you're wet."
Film shook her head, stepping into their bedroom with a smile, trying to ignore the feeling of despair in her stomach.
What was Namtan planning, and more importantly, what was she hiding from her best friend?