Man, or Monster
At the Town Line
Rumpelstiltskin watched as Belle spun on her heel and stalked back to town. She held her head high, limping in those ridiculous shoes she always wore. She was acting like she was some noble knight off to fight a dragon; except the dragon was defeated and the knight was being a self-righteous prat about it.
He knew why she was angry, of course. He'd gone too far. His anxiety and desperation were all consuming, and no matter how much he was conflicted, he couldn’t stop his plans. The very idea of anyone touching the dagger was too much. Even Belle.
As it turned out, especially Belle.
Gritting his teeth, Rumple stood and hobbled toward the woods. He needed to make a cane or he would never get to the nearest gas station. While he didn’t fancy the walk, he definitely didn’t fancy crawling the entire way there.
Upon closer inspection, Rumple noticed that the trees nearest the road didn’t have low hanging branches. Frowning, he searched the sides of the road, hoping a storm had scattered debris. He didn’t like the idea of entering the forest without a cane.
Nobody knew for sure what kind of dangerous creatures had come back with them. The surrounding forest had always felt a bit dark and mysterious, much like the Enchanted Forest. He knew anything could be hidden in there and he wasn’t certain they wouldn’t wander past the barrier. Without his magic, he would prefer to stay on the road.
Finally, Rumple spotted a good sized branch. Picking it up, he slipped out his knife and stripped the bark and small branches. He even smoothed out the top to avoid splinters. Looking at his newly made walking stick, Rumple sighed and put his knife back into his pocket.
With each passing moment, the voices in his mind were growing louder. It was surprising considering the last time he left Storybrooke the voices were quiet. It was unnerving and he racked his brain trying to understand the differences, but he couldn’t focus. The voices kept goading him. Telling him how he was never going to be good enough for Belle or Henry.
That he failed at everything he had ever tried to do.
Swallowing, Rumple shook his head and began putting one foot in front of the other. Physical pain tended to keep the voices away, and it was going to be a long walk to the gas station. As he hobbled down the road, he kept replaying Belle’s last words. She had called him a beast.
Wincing Rumple kept moving forward contemplating his situation. Was he really that terrible for wanting to be separated from the dagger? For wanting to be free from compulsion? Even his own wife had used the dagger against him twice, yet nobody seemed worried that he was easily controlled.
Maybe they wanted him that way.
Gritting his teeth, Rumple allowed his thoughts to spiral. He didn’t notice how far from the town line he was until he felt a sharp, blinding pain behind his eyes. A woman’s screams were ringing in his ears and an evil green light exploded in front of him. A life’s worth of memories burst into his mind, causing the pain behind his eyes to intensify. Blackness surrounded Rumpelstiltskin as he collapsed in the middle of the road, helpless against the torrent of memories that engulfed him.
Rumpelstiltskin opened his eyes and found himself standing in the middle of a wooded clearing. Frantically he looked around and found himself staring at a young girl. She was around seventeen or eighteen years of age. She was perfectly frozen with her shoulders thrown back and her head held high in defiance. He turned to see who she was confronting and gasped in horror.
He was more monster than man. Despite the black hood that shrouded his face, Rumple could see his complexion was colorless. The skin on the monster’s face was stretched tightly across his cheekbones and his nose was flat and snakelike. He was crouched slightly, his wand at the ready, and his reptilian crimson eyes emanated malice. Rumple was struck by how closely the monster resembled the Dark One.
He felt his mouth grow dry as he scrutinized the monster more closely, eyes lingering on his cheekbones and shoulders. Despite obvious differences between them, all Rumple could see was himself. It was like someone had punched him in the gut.
When could this have possibly happened?
Looking at the girl, Rumple saw that she was short. Even shorter than he was, and Rumpelstiltskin was not a tall man. She wore a simple white dress that was covered in dirt and blood and ripped in several places. Her long black hair was filled with sticks and leaves from the surrounding forest and she was barefoot. Yet, she had the most determined expression he had ever seen. Her eyes drew him in and he saw they were a piercing emerald green that glowed with magic.
“Harriet,” Rumple whispered, realizing he knew her, “Harriet Potter.”
He turned and limped to the other version of himself. With each step he remembered; the orphanage, Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts, learning magic, the basilisk, hating muggles, learning soul magic, making horcruxes, feeling less and less human, emptiness, the dark mark, his death eaters, war, pain, hate, RAGE!
Suddenly Rumpelstiltskin was on his knees, head between his hands keening no, no, no, no! He finally understood why the dark magic had felt like an extension of himself. Why the corruption didn’t affect him like it had other Dark Ones.
Because it was him.
Rumpelstiltskin was the Dark One, and the Dark One was Rumpelstiltskin. He had been split down the middle and the two aspects of himself, the man and the monster, had been sent from this world to another.
How the hell could that have happened?
The pain in his head ebbed away and he looked around. He found himself on the deserted road, five miles from the town line. As each memory clicked into place, he felt his magic swirl around him. No longer was he restricted to using magic only in Storybrooke.
He wondered if any of them truly were? Or, if their belief that this was the Land Without Magic, kept them from it. Either way, he had no idea what he was going to do. He was barred from Storybrooke and he was not safe in this world.
As he stood, he felt his ankle pinch and he instinctively placed his hand on his leg. Rumple allowed his magic to flow downwards; easing his pain. Sighing he pitched his makeshift cane into the woods and looked back toward Storybrooke.
He was a Beast. That was very clear to him. Too much of a beast for his beauty. While he knew for a fact that he was different from the monster he had been, he still wasn’t a whole man.
Why was he even alive?
Bae should have left him in that vault. Belle should have stopped Bae when she realized something was wrong, and Regina should never have taken Emma and Henry’s memories away.
Everything was fucked up and there was no fixing it.
The one good thing he had done, dying for that damn town, was ruined.
Zelena had destroyed any progress toward the light he had made, Belle had his dagger and Merlin knew what she would do with it, and now Henry was alone with Captain Hook. A Captain Hook he had almost killed. A Captain Hook that would turn his grandson against him. A Captain Hook that had made no progress toward bettering himself, yet everyone accepted.
Tears fell as he turned his back toward Storybrooke and headed toward the uncertainty of the Land of Hidden Magic. He had no limp to remind him of who he used to be and he had no love to keep him from the Darkness. He had nothing.
Nothing but the certainty of who he had been and the disgust of what he was.
He hated himself.
He didn’t want to be here.
He wanted to die.
Rumpelstiltskin glanced towards the woods and looked deep into the darkness that dwelled there. Making up his mind, he darted forward, trying to remember if he had ever seen a map. He had no idea where the woods would take him, but he had a suspicion there was a cliff nearby. As he ran, limbs and branches tore at his suit and he could feel his leg twinge even using magic. His shoes scuffed his feet and he knew that his heels would soon bleed.
Moonlight began shining ahead and he ran faster. He wanted to find the cliff before he lost his nerve. Quickly, he reached the tree line and skidded to a stop. Looking down he saw nothing but a dark chasm with a river winding its way through the dark forest far below.
He could jump.
Would it kill him in the Land of Hidden Magic?
Would it paralyze him?
Was this the coward’s way out?
Did he care?
He took a breath and thought of his son. The only person in any of his lives that he had loved fully and without reservation. He thought of Milah and how she ripped his heart out. He thought of Cora and how she seemed to understand him, only to be sorely disappointed. He thought of Belle and how for one shining moment he thought he had finally found True Love. His parents had abandoned him for power and eternal youth. The spinners he had lived with had cared, but never truly loved him. They had pitied him more than anything.
And then there was Henry Mills.
His own grandson didn’t seem to care if they had a relationship; referring to him as Mr. Gold. Rumple had thought to address it, but didn’t want Henry to refuse to call him Grandpa. It would have broken his heart even more than it already was, so he kept his wish to himself.
His heart fucking hurt.
Funny, he used to pride himself on not having one.
Thinking of the vast difference between who he was now and his time as Lord Voldemort, he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed and when he couldn’t laugh anymore.
He jumped.
Storybrooke
2 months later
Ruby was getting tired of Hook’s bullshit. Every morning he and Emma came in for coffee and breakfast, and every morning he kept staring down her shirt blouse. Normally, she would have said something about it by this point, but Emma had witnessed the behavior and never said a word. Her smile would tighten and she would look away. It hurt Ruby’s feelings, but she wasn’t ready to lose a friend over it. She was so used to being sexualized, it was depressing.
Strangely, it took Dr. Hopper intervening for the issue to be addressed.
“Would you please stop staring at Ruby like a piece of meat Captain,” Archie had snipped as he paid for his breakfast, “She is a human being.”
Hook startled and turned around, looking both embarrassed and angry.
“Why don’t you say that to my face?” Hook snarled, taking a step toward Archie. Emma did nothing as the pirate captain began trying to intimidate the town's conscience.
“You heard me correctly the first time,” Archie replied calmly. Looking at Hook, he cocked his head in puzzlement and asked, “Are you trying to threaten me?”
Hook stopped, realizing what he was doing. Pursuing his lips, he looked away from Archie. In fairness, he seemed ashamed of himself but he also seemed much more content to ignore his slips back into his typical pirate behavior.
Looking at Emma, Archie said, “Really Sheriff, I understand that he is your boyfriend, but you really need to do your job in regards to his behavior.” Archie paused watching Emma’s face become horrified, “Especially since I could still press charges against him for kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, and torture.”
Emma didn’t say anything, she just sputtered and then ran out of the shop with Hook calling after her, “Swan wait!”
Ruby and Archie were quiet for a moment and then Ruby said, “Thank you for that.”
Archie looked after Emma and Hook and thoughtfully said, “You know, everything has been utterly terrible since Rumpelstiltskin was made to leave. People act like they can do whatever they want.”
“You mean the villains?” Ruby pressed, wanting to make sure that they were on the same page before she voiced her opinion.
“No,” Archie replied, looking at Ruby, “I mean the heroes too. They act as if everything they do is just and right. When in reality everything they do is…flawed.”
Ruby sighed and sagged against the table, “Thank god, I’m not the only one that thinks so. It seems that everyone is perfectly happy with letting the heroes do whatever they want.” Ruby continued, babbling, “If Rumpelstiltskin can get banished, what is stopping them from doing that to anyone else? I mean, he saved the whole town and he’s basically invincible!”
“There should have been a trial. He did try to kill Hook. Despite my dislike for the man, that is against the law.” Archie grimaced, “Although, he probably would have gotten off.”
“Not that it would have hurt a lot of people’s feelings, “Ruby whispered dryly, “I don’t think they realize just how many people dislike Hook and prefer Rumpelstiltskin.” Ruby paused and looked at Granny.
“I mean he was mean and prickly a lot of the time, but we were all used to him,” Ruby amended, “Plus it didn’t hurt that he would always step in before things got too…. intense.”
“Unless he made them intense,” Archie replied, thinking about the wraith Gold had sent after Regina.
“I much prefer his controlled chaos to Regina’s rage,” Ruby replied, surveying the room to see if anyone was listening to them.
“That is true,” Archie replied, “It was always nice to know that he would be there to curb the worst of Regina. Or push the heroes in the right direction.”
Again, they were both quiet. Finally, Archie whispered, “I called him.”
“What,” Ruby whispered back, leaning forward, “What did he say?”
“I couldn’t get through,” Archie replied, obviously distraught, “I have tried calling at varying times but no answer. It rings through, but always goes to voicemail.”
Ruby bit her lip, “Maybe he doesn’t have his cell?”
Archie shook his head, “Even if he had left it, he would have already gotten a new one. In case Henry or Belle called.”
“I’m not sure he would answer for Belle,” Ruby replied quietly, “Not after the banishment.”
“I….” Archie began but another large group came into the diner and Archie realized that Ruby would soon need to go back to work. Making a decision Archie said, “Come to my office. We can talk more about this there.”
Ruby nodded and agreed, “I’ll be there at noon.”
Distractedly, Archie nodded and quickly exited the diner to begin the short trek to his office. He was worried about Rumpelstiltskin. Before the unfortunate trouble with Peter Pan, Gold had been making progress toward bettering himself. They had a few small break-throughs, in regards to his obsession with his son and where it stemmed from. He had been doing well and Archie had felt that maybe they should focus on some of his control issues when Henry was abducted. Soon after, Gold had sacrificed himself for the town.
After finding out that Zelena had him captured, Archie had been frantic with worry. He knew that Gold’s already fragile mental state and the loss of his son would push him further away from any progress they had made. Which would then push him further into the darkness.
To make matters worse, Belle was constantly in his office crying about it; although she didn’t seem to do much toward saving him. She seemed content to do whatever the heroes wanted to, leaving Gold in Zelena’s clutches for far too long.
After Zelena was defeated, Archie had waited for him to resume their sessions, but Gold never did. Finally, Archie began calling periodically to check on him. Rumpelstiltskin always answered and always spoke with him. Archie tried treating Gold like every other client, but it was hard. Rumpelstiltskin desperately needed a friend, and he obviously wasn’t going to get one from the heroes.
Not that he really blamed the Nolan’s for their standoffish relationship with Gold. He understood their anger.. Gold had separated them from their daughter and aided in creating the Dark Curse. However, they seemed fine with Regina, who had actually cast the Dark Curse, killing her own father.
Someone she loved.
During his conversations with Gold, he found that Zelena had made him suffer far more than the others suspected. It had been a horrible realization when he finally understood what Rumple wasn’t saying. He still couldn’t be sure what happened, but he could imagine. Zelena had complete control over him and there wasn’t anything Gold could have done about it.
It hadn’t surprised him when Zelena was found dead. What did surprise him was the evidence that showed Zelena had killed herself. He figured it was fake. Why anyone would believe Gold was innocent, was a mystery. She killed his son and controlled his every movement for over a year. She was a dead woman as soon as Gold had control of his dagger.
Another unpleasant surprise had been Rumpelstiltskin's decision to lie to Belle and go behind her back the way he had. The whole relationship breaking down was disappointing. If Archie had even an inkling about their problems, he never would have married them. Archie always felt protective of all of his patients, but for some reason he felt even more protective of Rumpelstiltskin.
Maybe it was because he so desperately wanted to be good, and just didn’t know how. Maybe it was because he seemed to be filled with so much love and devotion. A devotion that just needed a proper outlet. Archie had thought it could be Belle, but it seemed that without his son he was lost and not even True Love could save him.
Frustrated, Archie opened the door to his office and threw himself into his chair. He needed to focus on his current patients, but it was hard when he knew a friend needed him.
Ruby was more annoyed with her morning shift than usual. Everyone at the dinner seemed to be on edge today; annoyed with town leadership. Since the Spell of Shattered Sight, petty differences and minor arguments between former heroes and villains were starting to get heated, causing problems with the regular towns’ folk. Just last week Ella and Thomas were arguing with Drizella about side street parking. Now mysterious dead animals were appearing on their lawn. More specially, the mice and birds that Ella fed. When Ella went to speak with Emma about it, she was nowhere to be found.
Poor David was running around trying to take care of the office and all the outgoing complaints. He needed help, but Ruby knew it was useless going to Regina. Not even her secretary could get a hold of her. If she hadn’t constantly been with Emma people would have assumed she had disappeared like Rumpelstiltskin.
“I wish they would just fuck already,” Grumpy growled as he drank his coffee.
“I don’t think that’s it, Grumpy,” Ruby muttered as she refilled his coffee for the third time.
“No?” Grumpy grunted. He recently made sure everyone knew that Leroy was his townie name and he would appreciate it if people would stop using it. Apparently, he hated it. Not that Grumpy was much better in Ruby’s opinion, but it wasn’t her business.
Arguments over what names to call each other were breaking out all over town causing nothing but chaos. The whole town was at each other’s throats and with nobody at the helm Ruby couldn’t help but fear for Storybrooke.
“No,” Ruby said a bit more firmly, “She’s still obsessing over Hook.”
“Ugh,” Grumpy muttered, “What’s up with her and villains?”
“No clue,” Ruby replied, “But honestly, I don’t think it’s our business.”
“She’s the Savior,” Grumpy sniped, “Not to mention the Sheriff. If she can’t be objective, where does that leave us?”
Ruby said nothing. It wasn’t like he was wrong, but she very much wished to change the subject. She had been thinking about their problem all morning and had run herself in circles. She kept coming back to one thing.
Rumpelstiltskin was the only one that could conceivably keep everyone in check.
Looking at the clock, Ruby took off her apron and yelled at Granny that she was taking her lunch. She almost made it out of the door when she literally ran into Belle. Muttering a quick, “sorry” she shot out the door. She had no urge to listen to Belle as she moaned and groaned about her relationship with Will Scarlet. She had heard more about that than she cared for. As someone who had still not found her true love, Ruby found it grating how easily Belle fell in and out of love.
Not that Ruby could judge. Her cursed-self had been very…. affectionate with other people. Yet, she had never been in love. Belle had, according to her. Now two months after her separation from her husband and supposed True Love, Belle said it was possible that Will was “the One.”
Those two things did not compute for Ruby. If Belle wanted to embrace her inner Lacey and have fun, then good on her, but she didn’t like seeing people so easily replaced. In her opinion, that was what Belle was doing. Replacing a man that was hard to love with someone she could fix.
Knocking on Archie’s door, she waited for the “please come in” and quickly slipped in and found her customary seat. When she had been just waitress Ruby, she had come here a lot to try and curb her nymphomaniac tendencies, but never could. Of course, that had more to do with the curse than her own self.
“So, what are we going to do?” Ruby asked her former therapist. Archie just sighed in frustration and leaned forward. Technically, it was unethical to be so casual with a former patient, but Storybook was cut off from the rest of the world making it impossible to treat everyone as he ought.
“I’m not sure there is anything we can do,” Archie said, thinking deeply. He was searching through a notebook on his desk. Ruby tried not to seem too interested in it.
“We can’t get a hold of him through phone or text. I have tried his email,” Archie went on, “None of the others mention him. Belle has moved on to another man and none of them seem to know what to do with Gold’s dagger.” Archie paused and made a face, “And Henry hasn’t said a word either.”
“Should we even do anything?” Ruby asked with a sigh, “I mean Gold is an asshole and would probably sell us out if it furthered his agenda. Why the fuck are we worried?”
“We have a soft spot for him,” Archie quietly offered, “I know that I rather like him. He has always made me feel valued and listened to as a person “People have overlooked me ever since we came to Storybrooke. Even after the curse was broken and we had our memories back. He never has.”
Ruby was quiet and nodded in agreement, “Gold is very good at making people feel valued. He never discounts anyone’s potential.”
Archie agreed and shut the book in frustration. Ruby bit her lip. She knew what needed to be done, but she wasn’t sure Archie would feel about it.
“We need to see the Sorcerer’s Apprentice.”
Archie flinched and then sighed. It hadn’t occurred to him to seek the Apprentice’s council. He mostly kept away from magic users, Rumpelstiltskin notwithstanding. He had too many close calls with Regina and her ilk to feel safe around them. It also didn’t help that everyone in the town was incredibly nosey. He knew rumors would start as soon as someone saw them with the Apprentice. Archie would rather have the Dark One back in town before anyone knew he was involved.
“We should probably do it after hours,” Archie replied after a moment of contemplative silence, “We don’t want anyone to figure out our plan and curse us.”
Ruby nodded. She had no doubt that if people knew what they intended, someone would try and stop them. She would rather not hurt anyone, but if they pushed her, she would defend herself. There were many heroes and villains that had been glad about the banishment. With Gold gone, they no longer had to worry about what blackmail he had on them. Many of them would do desperate things to keep Rumpelstiltskin out of town.
However the rest of the townspeople, the “small folk” as they used to be called, had been rather anxious about his banishment. Under the guise of certain charities and grants, Gold had been helping many of them. Now, Dove was in charge of them. From the rumors she heard, there were things he simply couldn’t do and Belle refused to help him.
Archie swallowed and looked at his watch. It would soon be time for his next patient and he didn’t want to keep him waiting. However, he was conflicted. He knew that he wanted to help Rumpelstiltskin, but he also knew that to do so would mean drawing on skills he had tried hard to forget. He didn’t want to be Jiminy again, but it was becoming obvious that nobody in Storybrooke could live completely innocent lives. In order to take care of their town, Archie would have to get inventive.
“I’ll see you around ten this evening,” Ruby said as she stood, seeing the time and knowing Granny would need her back as soon as possible. The more disgruntled the town became the busier the diner was.
Still deep in thought, Archie nodded and walked her out of his office. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Storybrooke was going to implode without some sort of intervention. There was no option but Gold. He was the only one strong enough. He only hoped they weren’t too late.