Evan and Barty have been best friends their whole lives. The lived across the road from each other for as long as they can remember. Evan doesn’t know how a life without Barty fells like. He is sure he doesn’t want to know. He needs Barty by his side. His friend, Barty. He isn’t exactly sure when that changed, when Barty became more. He thinks there were more than one moment when something in him just clicked.
One look, dark room
Meant just for you
It wasn’t unusual for them to sleep over at each other’s houses. Well, Barty mostly crashed at Evan’s place. His father never really cared where he went, as long as he didn’t disturb his most precious peace. His mother never stood up for Barty, something that the boy tried to brush off as something that didn’t affect him, but Evan knew better than that. He knew Barty like he knew his own heart. That’s why he always welcomed Barty at his house. His mother loved him as his own, and his father wasn’t around enough to notice his presence there, anyway.
Evan liked family dinners like this, him, his mom, and Barty. It felt right, to have his best friend with him. Barty always felt the need to wash the dishes afterwards or do pretty much any cleaning that he could, to make up for being there. Evan and his mum always tried to make him feel like he wasn’t just some visitor, because he wasn’t. He belonged there, even if it took him a while to accept it.
When they were children, they used to share Evan’s bed when Barty slept over, but as the years went by, Barty insisted to sleep on the floor, much to Evan’s displeasure. He didn’t mind to share with Barty. Yeah, they did grow a bit, which was Barty’s excuse, that it would be uncomfortable to snuggle on the bed together. But honestly, that was what Evan liked most, having Barty close, knowing he saved him from his father’s disappointing glances for one more night. He always felt protective over Barty, especially when it came to his father.
Tonight it was like any other night, Evan on his bed and Barty on the floor. Evan couldn’t sleep, and by the sound of Barty’s uneven breathing, neither could he.
“Hey, Evs.” Barty called at last.
Evan rolled on his side and looked down at Barty in the dark. As soon as his eyes landed on the other’s, his breath hitched. He didn’t know what it was, but the way Barty’s eyes were focusing on him left him breathless. There was an intensity in his stare that Evan couldn’t name, but at the same time it was soft. He never wanted Barty to stop looking at him like this.
“Thank you.” Barty’s voice was quiet, not breaking eye contact.
“For what?” He actually was confused as to why Barty was thanking him.
“You know, for being you.” He said like it explained everything.
“Who else would I be?” Evan chuckled slightly.
The corner of Barty’s mouth twitched up “You’re right. You could never be anyone else.” He only looked at him like that for a few second before he closed his eyes and muttered a silent “Goodnight, Rosier.”
Evan was still confused but he managed to reply “Goodnight, Crouch.”
Time moved too fast
You play it back
Evan didn’t remember much from his childhood. Of course, he had memories of his happiest moments, but the rest just kinda flew by him. It was like he blinked and he was in high school. His mother always joked that he grew up right under her eyes and she wanted her baby back.
Thing is, everything he remembers, has Barty in it. Every Christmas, every snowy day, every beach trip, every first day of school that stuck to him, Barty is there. So he really can’t think of any moment in his life when they were apart. He sometimes curses time for moving so fast. He wants to enjoy every moment he has with Barty, but it feels like they are slipping right away from his as soon as he lives them.
Barty wasn’t a sentimental person, that’s why it surprised Evan when he brought up their first day of middle school.
“Remember 5th grade, Rosier?” Barty asked as he was laying on his back on Evan’s couch, lazily throwing a pillow in the air and catching it, over and over again.
“Not much, why?” Evan replied from his place on the armchair.
“My father wouldn’t drive me to school that day. I had to walk. And you walked with me. You could’ve left me alone, but you didn’t.” Barty stopped playing with the pillow. He was now hugging it, not looking at Evan.
“I would never leave you alone, Barty.” Evan said, as he remembered what Barty was talking about. That day his mother offered to drive them both to school, but Evan insisted to walk with Barty instead of offering him a drive in his mom’s car. He didn’t want to rub salt in the wound, showing Barty that other kid’s parents made time to drive them to school. He wanted Barty to feel equal to him.
Barty finally looked at him, contemplating for a minute. Then his face broke into a little smile “I know.” Then he threw the pillow at Evan. But Evan didn’t mind, he knew Barty just wanted to quickly change to subject to hide the fact that he actually had a heart.
Buttons on a coat
Lighthearted joke
Evan was in a hurry. They were gonna be late for school, and usually that wouldn’t have been a problem, if they didn’t have a test first period. Oh, how much Evan hated chemistry. He hated Barty even more for being so good at it. (Not really, he actually loved how well Barty explained it to him, but that wasn’t the point.)
But he could really start to hate Barty right now as he stood in Evan’s room, laughing at his friend trying to fasten his coat buttons and look for his phone at the same time. Of course Barty was ready to go and Evan was a mess, otherwise he wouldn’t have had the time to make fun of him for it.
“Here, here, just let me.” Barty chuckled once again as he approached Evan and gently took hold of his collar and straightened it. He started fastening his buttons, but he wasn’t looking down at them, he was looking into Evan’s eyes. Normally, Evan would wonder how Barty managed to do that without looking, but right now, he was too lost in Barty’s eyes to mutter any words. There was that look again, the one Evan couldn’t name, but loved so much. As Barty finished, his hands remained on Evan’s chest, neither saying anything for a while.
“Here you go.” Barty whispered, still not breaking eye contact. Evan still felt like he couldn’t manage to get any words out of his mouth. Seeing Evan’s lack of response, Barty grinned at him and added in a more playful tone “What happened, Rosier? You’re too mesmerized by my beauty to say anything? I finally took your breath away?”
Evan finally woke himself up from his frozen staye and pushed Barty slightly matching his grin with one of his one “Shove off. We are gonna be late.”
“You’re the one that can barely get dressed. You know, usually I like undressing people, not the opposite.” Barty was still smirking at him.
“Shut up, Barty.” Evan said, turning around to hide his blush.
Small talk, he drives
Evan loved long drives with Barty. He loved listening to the other boy sing along to the radio and tap his fingers on the steering wheel. It was calming, in a way Evan needed. It was the type of calm only Barty could give him. For most people it would be impossible to associate Barty with calmness, because they couldn’t associate him with silence. Which was fair enough, as Barty could never be silent, he always had something to say and he always needed to do something to keep his mind occupied. He just worked at a different speed from everyone else. Evan just happened to find peace in Barty’s chaos. It was familiar, comfortable, in a way nothing else was.
He didn’t realize he was staring at Barty until he turned his head and smiled at him “See something you like, Rosier?” He wiggled his eyebrows at him.
“You wish.” Evan said with a pointed stare. It wasn’t unusual for them to flirt a little, but that’s what best friends do, right? Right? It was playful, harmless. And if Evan was enjoying it a little too much, well, he was a weak man.
Barty coughed awkwardly “Right. So I haven’t had the chance to ask you yet. Did you happen to talk to Emmeline from History lately?”
Evan shot him a confused look. Why did he change the subject to Emmeline?
“Not really. She just asked me to lend her my essay so she could copy it. Why?”
“Ah.” Barty nodded to himself “Nothing, it’s just, she asked me if you were single a few days ago, and I was wondering if she approached you. That’s all.” He still sounded weird. There was an odd edge to his tone that Evan hadn’t exactly heard before.
They talked about girls before, not much, to be honest, and not many talks involved Evan, but it wasn’t weird like this. So why was Barty acting like this? He couldn’t be- No.
“She didn’t. Not like that anyway.”
“And if she did, would you say yes?” Barty was looking at him for a dangerously long time for someone who was driving a car.
“She’s not really my type.” And it was the truth. Emmeline was nice and all, but Evan didn’t really see himself dating her. He didn’t see himself dating anyone at the moment. He just saw himself on long drives with Barty right now. And if that isn’t how you should feel about your best friend, well, Evan didn’t dwell on it too much.
“I see.” Barty kept nodding, looking torn between saying something more or remaining silent. Finally he decided to open his mouth and he glanced at Evan one more time, a grin appearing on his face. “Well, lucky you, I told her you were taken. As far as she knows you are married with 3 kids and a cat somewhere in Ireland.”
They both started laughing. It did sound like something Barty would do. “Only if you’re the mother, Crouch.” Evan smiled as he shook his head, missing Barty’s slight blush.
Coffee at midnight
It wasn’t unusual for Barty to have trouble sleeping. When he stayed over at the Rosier’s, he tried not to wake Evan when he couldn’t fall asleep, but Evan always found himself waking up when Barty left his room. It was like a sixth sense for him, to feel when Barty wasn’t alright.
Tonight, he got up from his bed to see his room empty. He knew he would find Barty in the bathroom, splashing water on his face. And, he was right, of course. Barty was hunched over the sink, as Evan approached him slowly and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Barty raised his head, a little startled and looked at Evan in the mirror.
“Fancy some coffee?” Evan asked with a soft smile “I don’t think any of us would get any sleep anyway, so at least let’s make the most of this all nighter, shall we?”
Barty nodded slowly and followed Evan to the kitchen. As Evan made them two coffees Barty sat down on a stool and watched his every move. Evan knew Barty liked to drink his coffee 100% black, no milk, no sugar, but he always slipped a spoon of milk in it, to cool it down a little and make it easier for Barty to drink it as fast as he liked.
“You don’t have to do this with me.” Barty said, a guilty look in his eyes, as Evan slid the coffee towards him.
“I want to. Besides, the more we stay awake, the more we play Mario Kart, the more chances I have to beat your ass.”
“You wish.” Barty replied smugly, some of his distress disappearing. Good, Evan thought.
He says, "Look up"
And your shoulders brush
No proof, one touch
But you felt enough
Evan loved star gazing. Barty knew that. Barty knew everything about Evan. That’s why he always took Evan on town outskirts, where they could see the stars shine the brightest. Evan loved every moment of it. But tonight, he was more captivated by Barty than the stars. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t get his eyes off his friend as he spoke animatedly about a film he just saw. Honestly, Barty could talk about anything and Evan would listen closely to every word, no question asked.
Suddenly, Barty stopped, looking up at the sky. He leaned closer to Evan, their shoulders brushing, a small gesture that caused tingling on Evan’s skin.
“Look up.” Barty whispered in his ear. It was a shooting star. “Make a wish.” Barty added as he looked at Evan like he was the one that hung up all those stars. And oh, in that moment, Evan knew exactly what he was wishing for.
Morning, his place
Burnt toast, Sunday
You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
Evan didn’t visit Barty’s house often. Barty didn’t want Evan around his father much, not wanting his father’s apathy to wear off on his best friend. This weekend was an exception, as Barty’s parents were out of town. Barty asked Evan to sleep over at his place to not be alone, and honestly, it didn’t take him long to accept. He would spend time with Barty anywhere.
They had the whole house to themselves, but they still chose to share the same room. Barty’s room. Everything smelled and felt like Barty, so much it made Evan sad that he couldn’t spend more time in there, surrounding himself with everything Barty.
When he woke up in the morning, he was alone, and he allowed himself to take in his surroundings. He loved how this room was the only one in the house that actually had personality. The rest of the house was bland, a mix of beige and greys. But Barty’s room was filled with posters of his favorite movies, album vinyls hanging on the walls, clothes thrown everywhere. It was chaos, but it was Barty’s chaos, and Evan loved everything about it. He picked up one of Barty’s hoodies from the bed and put it on, immediately being hit by the smell of his cologne.
He slowly made his way downstairs, and found Barty in the kitchen. He was making pancakes, Evan could tell by the smell. As he heard Evan walk in, he turned around and immediately dropped the spoon he was holding as he took one look at him. Evan slightly panicked, worried that Barty was mad at him for taking his clothes. Barty cleared his throat, as a slight blush crept on his cheeks.
“Looking good, Rosier. My sweatshirt suits you well.”
Evan blushed a little too. “Well, I was cold. I’ll give it back.”
“Don’t.” Barty was suddenly serious. “I mean, it looks better on you anyway.”
“Is that what you tell every girl?” Evan teased him, and Barty smiled at him.
“You’re the only one with this privilege, I promise, love.” He winked and turned back at the stove, leaving Evan gaping at his back.
He did keep the shirt, of course. And when he thought about it, Barty really never actually let any girl he dated or hooked up with to wear his clothes. But he let Evan.
One step, not much
But it said enough
You kiss on sidewalks
Evan wasn’t sure how it happened. Barty and him were walking home from a party and rain just started pouring over them. Instead of running towards their houses they just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and started laughing. Of course that they would laugh.
“This is our karma for you refusing that girl tonight.” Evan said, pointing and accusing finger at Barty’s chest
“Hey! I refused her like a gentleman.” Barty defended himself.
“Why did you even refuse her?” Barty shrugged “Since when do you refuse a chance to get laid?”
Something in Barty’s eyes shifted. He looked Evan in his eyes as he said “Maybe I just don’t want to be the guy that sleeps with just anyone. Not anymore.” He was serious, and Evan could tell.
“What changed?” He was genuinely curious.
“I think you know.” Barty said as he took a step closer. He was serious all of a sudden. Thing is, Evan had a feeling, but he wanted Barty to say it. He needed it.
“Tell me, anyway.” He breathed out. Rain was still pouring on them, but it didn’t matter.
Barty took one more step towards him, looking like he was hurting himself trying to hold back. Evan didn’t want him to hold back.
“Tell me stop.” Barty whispered in the rain.
“No.” Evan, shook his head, and that was all it took for Barty to step even closer and take Evan’s face in his hands. He kissed him like no one before. Like he needed it in order to survive, like he would die if he let go of Evan. And Evan knew how he felt, because he was sure he might die on the spot if Barty ever stopped kissing him like that. It felt so right, like it was always meant to happen, like they always belonged together. Evan guesses they did. They do. It felt like home.
As Barty pulled back for air, Evan wanted to chase his lips but Barty stopped him by putting his forehead on his. He didn’t move his hands from Evan’s face. He smiled and Evan couldn’t stop himself from mirroring it with a smile of his own.
“You have no idea how long I wanted to do that.” Barty said, still smiling. This was his real smile, not his smug grin, the one only reserved for Evan.
“You have no idea how long I waited for you to do that.” Evan replied with a smile of his own.
They stayed like that for what felt like ages. He didn’t want to move, too afraid that this perfect fantasy will be ruined if they move an inch. But Barty wasn’t going anywhere, he was Evan’s, and Evan was Barty’s.
You fight, then you talk
Of course, it wasn’t always a perfect fantasy. It was real life, and real life relationships had their issues. Evan wasn’t exactly sure if they were in a relationship, they didn’t exactly make it official or anything. They did what they always did, spend all their time together, but with more kisses.
Now, looking back, he understood why Barty was so weird about Emmeline Vance being interested in Evan. He was jealous. Now, Evan could definitely understand the feeling, because he shared it. He thinks he was always a little jealous of all the girls that ever got Barty’s attention, but he never actually dwelled on what that feeling meant. Until now, when he knew how it felt to have Barty’s lips on his, and he never wanted to share that with anyone.
“She doesn’t mean anything, you have to believe me.” Barty was pleading with him.
Evan knew he was being a little unreasonable. Barty had a fling a year ago with this girl from his Math class, Amelia Bones, who was suddenly interested in rekindling that old flame. She came up to him in the library today and asked him if he wants to come to some stupid party and ‘pick up from where they left’. Evan’s blood was boiling in his veins as Amelia’s hand traced Barty’s arm. It wasn’t like Evan and Barty were open about their relationship? to the school, but he still hated it when girls looked at Barty and had the impression that they still had a chance with him.
“Oh, so you don’t want to pick up from where you left then?” He knew he sounded like a child, but he was jealous, sue him.
“Of course not!” Barty was desperate for Evan to believe him. The thing is, Evan knew he wouldn’t mess with anyone anymore, but he still hated how Barty accepted to go to that damned party. That gave Amelia hope that she has a chance with Barty. His Barty.
“Then why did you say yes?”
“I said that ‘Evan and I will be there’! You’re the one I’m gonna be with, not her!” He did say that, but Evan was too busy trying to be mad.
“Still doesn’t mean she won’t try anything.”
“Let her try. I don’t want her. I don’t want anyone but you, baby.” Barty said as he got closer to Evan. He tentatively raised his hands to cup Evan’s face, and he let him, leaning into the touch. “I don’t care who wants me. I don’t want anyone who isn’t you. And I’ll let them all know that.”
Evan was taken aback by that. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I will show them all who is the one that I l-“ Barty stopped himself and looked into Evan’s eyes slightly panicked. He quickly composed himself “I will show them I am yours. If that’s okay with you, of course.”
“It is.” It really was. Evan wanted them all to know he was the one that had Barty’s heart, so they could all leave them alone. “Only if you want it too.”
“I want to do everything to make you feel alright. If this will ease that pretty little mind of yours, then consider it done.” He said as he kissed his nose, something so sweet that no one would ever expect from Barty. But to Evan he always showed a different side of him.
And he did keep his promise. They ended up going to that party, but Barty kissed Evan in front of everyone before Amelia Bones could make her way to him. He knew it would start a line of gossip, but he couldn’t care, not when Barty’s lips were on his.
One night he wakes
Strange look on his face
Pauses, then says
"You're my best friend"
And you knew what it was
He is in love
After their little relationship started Barty stopped sleeping on the floor of Evan’s bed. He started sharing the bed again, finally realizing how nice cuddling actually was. Those were the best nights for Evan. He always slept the best with Barty in his arms.
Tonight though, he woke up suddenly, and found Barty already looking at him. He had that look on his face, the look he gave him that night. Evan brushed a strand of hair from Barty’s face, and the other quietly hummed at the touch.
“What’s on that pretty little mind of yours?” Evan asked jokingly.
Barty looked at him for a moment before answering “You’re my best friend.” was all he said, and Evan knew what he meant.
His best friend, his person, the one that was always there, no matter what, the one who he shared everything with. The one he loved. It was clearer than ever now. That look Barty always gave him. It was full of love. Evan really didn’t want him to ever stop looking at him like that.
“I know. You are my best friend too.” Barty settled himself on Evan’s chest and drifted off to sleep. Evan swore he could feel Barty’s smile on his chest.
You can hear it in the silence
They don’t have to say ‘I love you’ in order to feel it, in order to know it. Evan knows he loves Barty and that Barty loves him when they are sitting in silence at his kitchen counter, drinking coffee at midnight, or when they stargaze, not one word said between them as they look up at the sky, or when pretend to sleep in his Evan’s bed, but really they just stay awake a little longer to enjoy the other’s presence and listen to their heartbeats, knowing it only beats for the other.
You can feel it on the way home
Evan knows Barty loves him every day as they come back from school, as he takes his hand in the parking lot, leading them to the car. As they ignore the looks the others give them, because fuck what everyone else thinks. As they drive home. As they both walk into Evan’s house. Home. It was Barty’s home as much as Evan’s. For Evan, honestly, home was anywhere Barty was.
You can see it with the lights out
Evan knows Barty loves him during their first time. As Barty takes it slow with him, making it special for Evan, treating him with gentle touches and soft words in between hungry kisses, as he tries to make it as comfortable for Evan as it could be. Evan knew he loved Barty when he gave his whole body to him, trusting him with everything. As he looked at Barty hovering over him in the dark room, he knew his heart belonged to him.
I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words
Evan was sure he had loved Barty for his whole life. It just took him a little while to realize what that warm feeling in his chest was everytime he looked at Barty. Now it was clear, and he knew he would never stop.
“Barty.” he called into the night, as Barty was laying into his chest, lazily trying to keep his eyes open to watch the movie playing on Evan’s laptop.
“Hmm?” He responded sleepily.
“I love you.” He said it so casually because it felt so right. It was right. It was the way the world was. Evan Rosier was made to love Bary Crouch Jr.
Barty sat up, suddenly looking a lot more awake. He looked at Evan with big eyes, looking so relieved and happy as he flashed a million dollar smile. “I love you too.” he said breathlessly.
And Evan knew it was true, because Barty Crouch Jr was also made to love Evan Rosier.
You are in love
True love