“Alright, Lily dear.” Her mom patted her shoulders, stare lingering on her face as she tears up.
Lily had been obsessively reading the books Professor McGonagall had sent her, books traditionally meant for fifth year students, but ones McGonagall thought could ease her nerves at being thrust into her new world.
Petunia stood against a brick column, visibly irritated, huffing a sigh every few minutes in an attempt to snag her parents’ attention. Lily glanced over, shot her parents what she hoped was a beaming smile, and shuffled slowly over to Petunia.
“Toony?” Petunia glared at her for the nickname, one leftover from when they were small enough to catch fireflies in the park on humid summer nights.
“I told you- I’m fourteen now. You need to stop calling me that.”
“Okay.” Petunia kept glaring over her younger sister’s head. “I’ll miss you a lot, Petunia.”
Petunia sighs, but still refuses to make eye contact with Lily. The platform starts to clear, signaling the train’s impending departure. Lily looks up at her sister for a half-second before wrapping her arms around her and squeezing. Slowly, Petunia’s stiff arms come up to rest gently around Lily, and they’re hugging goodbye.
Lily would stay like this forever, always a tactile person, but Petunia shoves her away.
“That’s enough of that.” Petunia smoothed her hands over the front of her dress, as if Lily had contaminated it with magic, or worse, wrinkles.
Lily nods, knowing she won’t get much else out of her older sister, and takes the three steps back to their parents.
Her mum worries her bottom lip between her front teeth, an ugly habit Lily inherited that often leaves her lips chapped. Lily’s dad pulls her into a hug with a tight squeeze.
“Don’t worry, Lily Flower, she’s just jealous. She’ll get over it and miss you soon.” Lily hoped he was right. She already missed her sister, and was hurt at even the thought that she wouldn’t be missed back. Her dad stepped back to gift her with a reassuring smile, and Lily did her best to return it.
Her parents were excited for her and proud of her, but Lily was absolutely terrified. She hadn’t done anything this big on her own before, much less without her sister’s support.
Once, when she was in nursery school, she told Petunia she could fly. She proved it by jumping off the swing set and landing on her feet, albeit clumsily. Petunia followed and broke her leg, but she smiled all the way to hospital.
“*I felt like I could fly too, Lily.*” She had whispered in the backseat, unable to be heard over their mother’s panicked wailing in the passenger side.
When McGonagall showed up to explain magic to them, they finally had an explanation for why. Lily thinks that’s when Petunia decided to stop being nice to her: she could fly, and her sister couldn’t, and it must be all Lily’s fault.
Lily’s mom swept in to hug her, sobbing wetly now, with remarks of “Oh, my little girl! Off to conquer the world!” Lily opted, as she usually does, to stand still and delicately wrap her arms around her mother. She was the eye of this storm; a calm foil to her mom’s mess.
“Okay, Joan, she’s got to board the train, at some point.” Lily’s dad gently tugs her mom’s arm, peeling her away from her daughter.
“Oh,” her mother swat at her father’s arm, but pulled away nonetheless. The tears had subsided, but Lily had no doubt they’d be back in the car on the way home.
Lily looked at her parents, clinging to each other, their faces full of pride and excitement. She couldn’t help herself from surging into one last hug before she turned and ran onto the train, refusing to look back.
~~~
Lily stayed in the center corridor of the train, straining her neck to catch a glimpse of her parents through the crowd of students. She couldn’t see them, but could only imagine them waving frantically as Petunia files her nails in complete and utter boredom.
As the crush of students disperses, Lily realizes she hasn’t scoped out a place to sit. She had just assumed she could sit with Severus. Lily walked slowly down the aisle, trying to make it less obvious that she was snooping in the compartments in order to find someone, that she was all alone.
After a third increasingly desperate pace down the train, she spotted a shock of long dark hair, and slid into the compartment without a second thought. After closing the door behind her, she turned, opening her mouth to berate Sev for his absence on the platform, but the words fell from her mouth.
The boy in front of her wasn’t Severus at all: the boy in front of her had his hair in waves instead of Severus’ usual slicked look and gorgeous green eyes.
“Oh,” Lily stumbled over all the words she could remember. “Hello.” He looked at her stiffly, as if unsure how to respond. “I, er, am looking for my friend. You just have similar hair.” Lily elaborated, when the boy showed no sign of response.
“Oh, I don’t think I’m him, then.” The boy answered, eyes softening slightly. “I’m Sirius, by the way.” He stretched out his hand.
“Lily Evans.” She took it.
Her parents had always told her how to be polite with adults, and she had been told she had a good handshake, but she had never met another kid who would initiate one. Especially with the lack of adults in the compartment.
“I don’t recognize that name; are you a pureblood?” Sirius looked up at her curiously.
McGonagall hadn’t shared this word with her, and she was about to ask what it was when the compartment door opened behind her.
“Sirius! We ran into the trolley lady!” Lily turned to see two more boys, arms loaded with sweets, stumbling into the compartment.
“I see that,” Sirius replied dryly, but a smile had situated itself on his face.
“Oh, hello!” one boy said, a shock of dark hair and skewed glasses perched precariously on the edge of his nose. “Want a sweet?”
“No, thank you.” Lily replied, ever the polite guest.
“Are you sure? James got everything from chocolate frogs to fizzing whizzbees.” The third boy entices, blond hair flopping into his eyes as he throws himself onto the bench. At Lily’s shake of head, the blond boy shrugs.
“I’m Pete, by the way,” says the boy now trying to wrestle his hair out of his face while eating some jelly beans.
“Oh! I’m James!” Glasses boy gives a small wave, throwing a packet labeled “Pepper Imps” at Sirius, who catches it deftly and rips open the packaging.
“This is Lily,” Sirius gestures at her. “She’s looking for her friend. Apparently we have similar hair.”
“Oh! Do you need help?” James asks, earnest, “The train’s kind of scary by yourself.”
“Oh, that’s alright, thank you though.” Lily’s about to finish excusing herself to continue her search, but at that moment a stream of fire bursts through the compartment, blowing just past Lily and warming her face. She jumps back, but Pete leans forward in fascination.
“Mine are never that big, how’d you do it?”
“Two at once.” Sirius winks conspiratorially before pulling two squirming figures out of his sweets packet and dropping them into his mouth. He takes his time chewing before grinning and blowing another stream of fire up at the train’s roof. Lily stares in awe, no longer afraid.
“How does it work?” She asks, leaning in to peer into the silvery package.
“I dunno. Magic?” Sirius answers lazily, offering her an imp. Though skeptical, Lily pinches it in between her fingers. James looks at her encouragingly, miming dropping it into her mouth. After a steeling breath, Lily does as instructed. She chews the candy, swallows, and feels no different. She furrows her brows and opens her mouth to tell the boys she thinks it didn’t work, and a blast of hot flame furls out of her mouth.
Pete cheers and Sirius pats the bench next to him, silently inviting her to join. She takes a seat and James hands her a second packet of Pepper Imps.
“Lily or Sirius: who can go the farthest?” James grins as Lily rips open the package.
A packet-and-a-half of imps later, Sirius is declared the winner after much deliberation between James and Pete. Lily thinks this is fair; Lily thinks that Sirius was raised with magic, and has therefore had more practice, and her eyes had started to water from the flames scorching her throat.
Giddy from the sugar and the syrupy heat in the compartment, Lily let herself indulge in meaningless conversation with the group. They talked about where they had gone to school before (Lily was the only one who hadn’t been pulled out for some pre-magical education) and where they were from (Sirius was from London, Lily from its suburbs, and James and Pete were neighbors in some small town she’d never heard of before).
They had Pete close his eyes and were quizzing him on the flavors of each jellybean as a girl shoved her face into the compartment door’s window and started to make faces. Her blonde hair was choppy around her face, unbrushed and she had spiked bracelets around her wrists. Lily thought she looked like a rockstar.
When James opened the door for her, Lily saw she was already in her robes, the carefully hemmed edge dusting over combat boots with hot pink laces.
“Finally, Jamie,” she clapped James shoulder, grinning around at everyone. “Don’t you know it’s rude to make a lady open her own door?”
“I’d hardly call you a lady, Marls.” James rolled his eyes and reached into his sweets horde to toss her a sweet in deep purple packaging.
The girl looked around squinting her eyes at Lily and Sirius.
“I don’t think I know you two. I’m Marlene.” She tore the packet open and shoved the chocolate into her mouth.
“That’s Lily, the redhead,” Pete nodded at her and Lily took it as her cue to wave politely and smile. “And Sirius is the other one.” Sirius appraised Marlene carefully, from her combat boots to her robes to her shaggy blonde hair. He nods carefully, and a small smirk blossoms on Marlene’s face.
The lights in the carriage blink on and off for a few seconds. Lily freezes; she doesn’t know what this means.
“Best get your robes on!” Marlene winks, seeing Lily’s expression, “We’ll be arriving soon.”
~~~
After some embarrassing wrestling with her robes, and Marlene’s subsequent help, Lily is back in her seat, absolutely buzzing with energy.
She feels the others radiating the same frequency around her, but she feels almost off kilter with them. They’re all tuned to the same exciting station, and Lily wants to hurl. She’s excited, yeah, but she lost track of time and doesn’t know where Severus is, and she can’t talk to her sister about it, and she doesn’t know where she’s supposed to go when she gets off the train, and-
“Alright, Evans?” James is looking at her with kindness in his deep brown eyes. Lily’s noticed he does that- he watches people. It’s not really creepy, just like he’s looking out for people. Lily’s never met kids that acted more like adults than James and Sirius.
He even asks her quietly enough that the others don’t notice over their tirade on houses. (McGonagall had given her a brief rundown- Raven-something, Hoofpath, Gremlin, and Slytherin. Or something like that. She’s been trying to cram so much magic-knowledge into her brain that the details seem a little fuzzy.)
Lily, throat thick, decides a nod is best. It must come out too frantic because James gives her a look like he doesn’t believe her. Just then, the train lurches to a stop.
“Here we come, Hogwarts!” Sirius whoops and pulls a trunk down from the overhead carriage. As everyone starts to gather their things, Lily realizes she can just follow Sirius and Marlene and Pete and James, who all seem to know what they’re doing.
They chatter as they get off the train, and are directed by a rather tall professor onto small boats. They have to split up the group: Lily gets into a boat with Marlene, and Pete, and a boy she doesn’t know- he says he’s a prefect, Arthur, she thinks. When the boats land, they have to trudge up to the castle, for their Sorting. Lily doesn’t know what to think as Marlene and Pete excitedly jostle back and forth.
They’re waiting in a cold, cavernous entrance when Lily finally sees Severus. She waves, and he turns away, as if he doesn’t recognize her. Maybe he didn’t see her; there are a lot of them, after all.
“Severus!” she decides to call out to him. A rather tall and menacing boy that Sev was talking to sneers across at her. He opens his mouth to say something, but Marlene pulls Lily away and makes a rude gesture at the boy.
“Don’t let them get to you, Lily, they’re all pricks.” Lily stares at her. Her mother would cry if she said anything like that.
McGonagall walks up to the group and explains what the Sorting will look like. Then, without further preamble, leads them through the doors. Lily is not prepared at all for the faces all staring at them as they shuffle up to the front of the room.
Alcott, Debbie- a young girl with a tight ponytail- is called first. She sits on a stool, and a rather ragged hat has barely touched the tips of her hair when it yells “Hufflepuff!” A table drenched in yellow stands to cheer, and she stumbles over, slightly dazed.
Sirius Black is the first name she recognizes. She watches what he does, swaggering up to the front. The hat doesn’t sit for very long- the boy before him took at least five minutes- but it defintely contemplates as Sirius grins out at the hall.
“Gryffindor!” it calls, but no one cheers. The Slytherins, in green, all boo, and the Gryffindors look at each other uneasily before a sparse clapping begins. Sirius continues his swagger to the Gryffindor table, making room for himself, and accepting pats on the back from the boys around him.
After a few more names, Lily is called and she wants to hurl. She doesn’t ask her legs to move, but suddenly, she’s sitting on the stool, facing out at the whole school. The hat lands on her head with a surprising thump.
*Terrified, are we?* asks a deep voice. After looking around, Lily realizes it’s no one speaking and the voice is in her head.
*Who are you?* she thinks.
*The Sorting Hat*, the voice says, *not a particularly bright one, are we?*
*Excuse me?* Lily thinks back, immediately affronted.
*But curious, and still doing the very thing you are terrified to do,* the voice continues, as if Lily is not part of this conversation. *Missing our friend, are we? A Severus Snape?*
*How do you know that?*
*I can see everything you are thinking. I’m meant to assess where you belong.* Lily scowls without meaning to, and the students closest to the front break out in giggles. *So, do you think yourself brave? Curious? Loyal? I see you’re very cunning, but I doubt you belong in Slytherin.*
*Isn’t that your job, to decide which I am?*
The hat laughs, only for Lily to hear. *Defiant, I see. How do we feel about-*
“Gryffindor!” Lily realizes the voice is no longer in her head, the last word has been shouted for the whole hall to hear, when the table covered in crimson and gold breaks into cheers. Lily feels numb as Professor McGonagall takes the hat off her head, and she stumbles over to an empty spot next to Prefect Arthur, and Sirius, and a boy, maybe only two years ahead of her, with dark, straight hair flopping into his eyes.
He congratulates her, and introduces himself as Frank, and the girl next to him, with cropped, curly hair, and a crooked smile, as Alice. Lily says hello back, and watches the rest of the sorting, feeling Sirius’ energy buzz next to her.
They watch as McKinnon, Marlene, Pettigrew, Peter, and Potter, James are all sorted into Gryffindor. Their little group grows, so that Lily is squished between Frank and Pete. She doesn’t mind; she thinks they might be friends.
Lily holds her breath when “Snape, Severus” is called. She feels like she can’t breathe the entire time the hat is on his head, afraid for him, desperately wanting him to be in Gryffindor with her.
“Slytherin!” is called. Sev smiles a small smile, and stalks nervously to his table.
Lily feels her heart sink. She tunes out McGonagall for the rest of the Sorting, only realizing she should pay attention when the Headmaster steps up after “Wadleby, Wendy” is sorted.
Lily tries to pay attention, she really does, but her stomach is growling; all she’s eaten today were those Pepper Imps on the train, and she’s starting to feel like maybe that wasn’t the best choice.
“I will hold your attention no longer, as I’m sure your minds have already started to wander. Let’s feast!” The Headmaster waves his hand, and suddenly the table is laid with a stunning buffet- Lily spots no less than three desserts, an enormous roast, and what must be dozens of sides. Frank starts passing her dishes, and Lily loads her plate.
She eats her first helping, then her second, and then scrounges up the room for a wonderful jam roly poly and a helping of sticky toffee pudding.
Stuffed, Lily hears Arthur across from her calling for first years to follow him to the dorms. She stands and though Sirius and James try to talk, she is simply too exhausted to anything but listen as they fight their way across moving staircases and hollering paintings.
All the way back to the dorm, Lily contemplates how much Petunia would have hated the boat ride, and been terrified of the Pepper Imps (not that she would admit it). Lily herself laughs with the portraits as they make jokes, but Petunia would have scolded her.
When they stop, it’s in front of a portrait of a woman with a very high-pitched voice, trying to sing instead of talk to Arthur. He turns around to face them and announces the password (it’s ‘pensieve’, whatever that means), before using it to swing the portrait outwards. The first years scramble through; James nearly getting stuck on the wall, and having Sirius shove him through. They’re assigned their dorms and told their luggage should be in their rooms, but if not, prefect dorms are off the common room, and they shouldn’t hesitate to knock if they need anything.
Marlene and Lily say goodnight to the boys, and Marlene challenges Lily to a race up the stairs. Who is she to turn down a challenge? She wins, and is the first to swing the door to their dorm open. A girl is standing in the center of the room, contemplating the beds. Lily remembers her puffy, curly hair from the sorting- MacDonald, Mary- and says as much.
She introduces herself, and Marlene does the same. After, they all just stand around, looking anywhere but at each other.
“So,” Mary starts, “Does anyone have a preference on bed? Luggage was in the center of the room, I think we’re supposed to decide ourselves.”
“Oh!” Marlene’s face dawns with realization. “Can I have by the window? I’m always better if I can wake up with natural light.” Lily and Mary nod their assent, and just hover, until Mary finally wanders towards a bed.
“Are you okay with that one?” It’s halfway between the bathroom and the window, across from the door, and diagonal to the wardrobes. Lily decides she doesn’t mind. She nods.
After the awkward shuffle about using the bathroom, Lily is finally settled in bed, in her pajamas, staring at the top of her four poster bed in the dark. They each drew the curtains after a wuick goodnight.
Lily isn’t sure how this is supposed to go; she vaguely remembers giggling until midnight when she used to share a room with Petunia, but she thinks this might be a little different.
Lily misses her sister. She hasn’t really spoken to Petunia since McGonagall told her she was going to Hogwarts. She decides she’ll write a letter tomorrow, after class, and borrow one of the school owls. Mind finally settled, Lily feels herself drift off to sleep.