Remus wakes up early, he wakes up earlier than Sirius and just lays there while reading his book, it’s the only time he can read his book since he focuses on Sirius every other moment Sirius is awake or asleep.
Remus went to grab his book and turn on his lamp except when he moved his arm off of Sirius he could feel Sirius shudder. “Is everything okay dear?”
Sirius remained still, shaking every few seconds. Remus stopped and moved his hand back over Sirius’s hair, Sirius pursed his lips as if he were trying to say something. “Moony” Sirius stumbled over his words, he was hardly able to get the sentence out before his breathing became a bit unsteady.
“Sirius, are you alright?” Remus moved the hair from his face, Sirius was still asleep, but he wasn’t fully asleep, Remus knew this. “Moony please.” Sirius’s breathing grew faster, Remus couldn’t help but feel worried, then he remembered, he talked with Sirius about this before.
“Moony please.” Sirius kept repeating himself. “Please stay.” “Please don’t let go.” “Don’t let them touch me please.”
Remus lifted Sirius up his chest, slowly trying to wake him up. “Sirius I’m right here, just focus on my voice.” Sirius’s breathing was fast, he was hyperventilating.
Remus pulled Sirius up so his chest was on him, he rubbed his thumbs over Sirius’s eyelids to slowly wake him up, he didn’t want to startle him. “I’m right here Sirius, im not going anywhere.” He was worried for Sirius but he knew what he had to do.
Remus started breathing slowly, calming himself down, he kept rubbing Sirius’s eyelids. He kept doing this until he felt Sirius’s breathing grow more and more stable.
Sirius’s eyes started twitching then they opened, tears were streaming down his face. Remus grabbed Sirius’s back and held him tight, he knew to only touch his back and his shoulders when this happened.
“Moony please.” Sirius sobbed, shaking in Remus’s arms. “Sirius focus on my breathing, it’s just me and you in the room, we’re in our house, I’m holding you, I’m not letting go of you.” Sirius closed his eyes, warming up to Remus’s words.
Sirius was only half verbal during his panic attacks, and he went non verbal after his panic attacks, Remus knew how to deal with this, but he kept focus on Sirius in the moment.
Sirius’s breathing was steady, he stopped crying and he wasn’t speaking anymore, he was feeling more comfort but it wasn’t over yet.
Remus held Sirius’s face, using his thumbs to rub away any tears that were left on his face, he looked Sirius in the eyes, they were still foggy. “Sirius follow my voice home, you’re safe here dear, you’re with me, I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” Sirius lay still, watching Remus’s eyes, Remus watched his in return, and he kept wiping his face as he saw Sirius’s eyes clear up.
“There’s my pretty boy, keep breathing baby, you’re doing so good.” Sirius started smiling, he dug his face into Remus’s chest, Remus stroked Sirius’s hair, he needed a quiet moment just in his chest.
Remus kissed Sirius on the forehead, then he slid him up his chest so he could lean on him, Remus always calmed Sirius down by doing this.
Sirius kept breathing, he was completely focused on Remus, and Remus was focused on him. “Are you ready for a warm bath Sirius, you’re freezing.” Instead of getting warm, Sirius got cold, and a warm bath would make his muscles feel better.
Sirius nodded happily, they both needed to just be close to each other, the comfort of each others warmth helped them with everything, it was their safety.
Sirius opened his arms for Remus to pick him up, he only allowed Remus to ever pick him up, Remus took Sirius’s into his arms and let him wrap his legs around his back.
Remus started searching for a new pair of clothes for them both to change into after their bath, Sirius had began tapping Remus’s shoulder so he knew it was getting closer and closer to when he needed that bath.
Remus found the clothing he was looking for and took Sirius to the bathroom where he sat Sirius down on the bathroom counter and started the water. “Just sit here and keep looking pretty for me honey.”
Siriuses nodded and Remus went out of the bathroom and returned with something, Remus had made a little paper for Sirius to point to so he knew where he was able to touch him while cleaning him.
Sirius pointed down the paper and chose everywhere, of course Remus was still gonna be careful because Sirius was still just recovering so any rough movements would startle him.
Remus started undressing himself then Sirius. As Remus finished taking off his shirt and went to take off his pants and boxers he saw it, he didn’t gasp or react to it at first so Sirius didn’t worry, but Remus had definitely seen it.
Remus kissed Sirius on the forehead. “Hey dear I forgot something for your bath, I’m gonna go get it just real quick.” Sirius nodded, follow Remus’s words blindly.
Remus went out of the room to grab a small soft cloth to get wet and some ointment. Remus walked back to Sirius bouncing his legs off the counter, Remus rested his hands on Sirus’s sides and drew his voice to a whisper.
“Sirius how old is this?” Sirius counted with his fingers. He put up 5. “5 hours, days, weeks, months.” Sirius held his fingers up again, it was just 1 finger.
“Sirius why didn’t you tell me earlier, I don’t want it getting infected dear.” Remus hugged Sirius and Sirius held him tighter. “Let me properly clean this up for you before I give you a bath.” Sirius complied easily, he worried Remus would judge him for his scars and for his cuts, but Remus would always accept him for who he was and who he is.
Remus turned up the sink water and set it to cool, just so Sirius could handle it. He turned his legs towards the stink, there were into two cuts across his thighs.
Remus started setting the cloth as well, gently wiping around the cuts, Sirius didn’t since at all, but after Remus got done wiping his cuts he turned the water off and grabbed the ointment. “This is going to feel cold but it’s to make sure it heals better.” Remus applied a little two both cuts and Sirius winced a little from how cold it was but he was alright. Remus took the bandages and wrapped up Sirius’s legs, granted he could’ve done it differently but Sirius would think he looked tougher with his thighs fully bandaged up.
Remus finished his bandages. “Are you ready for your bath dear?” Sirius opened his arms wide, he was definitely ready for his bath. Remus lifted him off the counter and into the water, the bandages were water proof and they were to keep the water from getting into his cuts.
Remus organised his shampoo and conditioner and Sirius’s shampoo and conditioner, Remus quickly applied his before taking his time to apply Sirius’s. “Tap the side of the bath twice if your hair is sensitive or anything.” Remus started humming, Sirius started rocking into Remus and forward into the tub.
Remus carefully put his hands through Sirius’s hair while scrubbing in his shampoo, the smell of Sirius’s shampoo was amazing. “Close your eyes sweetheart.” Remus tilted Sirius’s head back and cupped his forehead with one hand, he wanted to make sure the water didn’t get in his eyes. After rinsing his hair he took out his conditioner and he scrubbed through his hair again, but instead of finishing it out Remus started washing Sirius’s body so his conditioner could sit.
Remus gently glided his hands over Sirius’s body while washing him with his body soap, and after he got done rinsing his body off he washed his hair off for the final time, then he sat Sirius on the side of the tub and grabbed his towel to dry him off.
“Arms.” Remus asked nicely, Sirius lifted his arms and let Remus dry them off. “Legs.” Siriuses kept his legs out of the tub so Remus could dry them. “Just sit up for me now.” Remus got to work on drying off the rest of Sirius’s body, then he carefully dried off his hair.
Remus put his clothes on then helped Sirius put his on, he was slow and gentle with him while watching his every move. “You look cute dear.” Sirius smiled, he loved looking dolled up for Remus even if he was the one helping him get there.
Sirius climbed into Remus’s front and Remus held him tight, he shut off the bathroom light and replaced it with the hallway light, then he walked carefully to not hit Sirius against anything.
Sirius was face first into Remus’s collarbone, every breath Sirius took he wanted it to be of Remus. Remus sat down in bed with Sirius on him, letting him undo his legs before completely laying down. Remus tucked the blankets in after sirius got comfortable on remus’s chest, Sirius’s hands were balled up on his chest while his face was deep in his neck.
Remus started stroking Sirius’s hair, gently doing his hair while he was at it. Remus kissed Sirius multiple times on his head. “I love you dear, you did an amazing job.” Remus didn’t need a response from Sirius, he knew how he felt. “I love you more Moony, thank you so much.” Remus’s heart melted at those words, he fell in love with Sirius again, being able to see him at his most open state and being able to comfort him through his pain was a wonderful sense of relief to Remus. He was just glad Sirius trusted him that much.
“You need sleep dear.” Sirius grumbled. “But you’re up.” Sirius said tiredly, it sounded like he was just about to pass out. “I know dear, but I’m going to be right here when you wake up.” Remus kept stroking Sirius’s hair, when he felt him settle down and end up falling asleep, he would finish whatever he needed to and fall asleep right with him.