new bestie alert
Remus is insane. I don’t mean that in a bad way, that he’s like actually crazy or something. I mean that it’s truly insane that someone can be famous but also seem like the most normal person ever. He’s so charismatic that I actually feel like I’m a puddle melting on the ground. We get to this bar they were talking about called Showcase. I guess it’s a more low-key bar for celebrities.
“It’s pretty chill in here.” James says and we’re all walking in together.
“Yeah, this is my favorite place to come. It’s never busy and its usually only other singers or actors so there won’t be a tweet telling a bunch of people to come swarm the bar if someone’s here… plus they have shitty wi-fi anyways… that probably makes me sound so annoying.” Remus says it like he’s embarrassed, but it makes total sense.
“Definitely not.” Marlene adds quickly. “I can’t imagine how annoying it would be to not even be able to get a drink without people up on my shit.” We all laugh and nod as Lily leads us back to a larger booth.
I’m sensing this might be their usual seats, since they made a beeline back here. Lily slides in to one side of the booth, Peter sliding in next to her, Alice next to him and Frank next to Alice. Remus slides in on the other side, across from Lily, and James looks to me pointedly. I roll my eyes, because James has some warped idea that Remus is into me, and I know he’s trying to ‘get us together’. As if that would ever happen. I slide in next to Remus anyway, despite not wanting James to make fun of me, because I really do want to sit next to Remus.
“There’s my favorite costumers!” A waitress comes up and greets us with a smile. Remus and his friends are definitely regulars here. “And some new faces!” She adds, looking to us. “What can I get for everyone?”
“Brenda, it’s so good to see you!” Alice says. Everyone goes around ordering their drinks, I got my usual, a vodka sprite with a splash of cranberry juice. Remus nudges me and I look towards him.
“That’s a fun order. I feel a bit boring with mine.” He ordered a well bourbon and coke. And it was a little bit stereotypical straight man order… but it was okay if he did it. I’m still trying to figure out if he’s straight or not... sometimes he says things that make me think… oh maybe I have the tiniest chance in the world… but then, I don’t know.
“Hey, you like what you like.” I say. He smiles at that and I just… I can’t help it. He’s so handsome and I just don’t even know how to function. The waitress, Brenda, comes back with all of our drinks and I take my first sip excitedly. It’s actually been a while since I’ve drank really at all. James and I aren’t the typical college kids who go out drinking every night and show up to class hungover. Mostly because we both are on the football team, but also we just don’t really like doing that anyway.
“Does it taste as good as it looks?” Remus asks me. For some reason I feel myself blushing which is just so stupid. I nod.
“It’s delicious, wanna try it?” I say, not really thinking too much about it. Apparently one tiny sip of vodka makes me feel funny feelings in my stomach when Remus Lupin is next to me… He smiles.
“If you don’t care.” He says. I slide it over to him and he tries it, then purses his lips.
“I just don’t think I’m a vodka guy… however, the sprite and cranberry are sweet, so I’ll give you that.” I chuckle and shrug. I get it, vodka isn’t for everyone. “Wanna try mine?” He asks me. I’m pretty sure I’ll hate it, but he’s looking at me with the most beautiful hazel eyes I’ve ever seen and how can I say no? I grab his glass, take a sip, and it takes everything in me to not spit it back into the glass. I swallow it and turn to him with a disgusted look on my face. He sputters out a laugh.
“I take it you didn’t like it?” He says, in between his laughs. I join in, nodding my head.
“Remus… Rem, I thought you were a man of taste. That is foul.” He laughs again and his laugh is so pretty. It’s like put together but also just so free… I don’t know how to explain it.
“Sirius, I’ve been saying this for years.” Lily says, grabbing my hand. “Thank you, you get it. I love you.” I laugh and they all start talking about their own drink orders. Remus and his friends are nothing like I thought they’d be and… maybe I’m realizing I don’t know a thing about how celebrities actually act in real life.
“Who’s gonna dance with me?” Marlene says as her favorite song comes on. It’s Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift. And I have to. I have to. It’s our song. I get up and follow her onto the dance floor silently hoping that Remus follows.
***
He looks so good. How can someone look that good dancing? Alice and Frank get up to join Sirius and Marlene and I know Lily is eyeing me, but I refuse to look in her direction. I know she can tell I’m into him and I know I’m being obvious but it’s really hard to pretend like I’m straight.
I know how that sounds, okay? I don’t want to pretend like I’m straight, believe me. But I do this with most new people I meet because the last thing I need or want is tabloids talking all about my sex life (more than they already do thinking I only like women.) If it got out that I was bi, every single man I even look at will be my new boyfriend of the week, just like how it is for my girl friends. (As in friends who are girls, not literal girlfriends.) And I’m trying to get to a point where I don’t care about it… I’m trying. But since I’ve been in the media for so long, it’s hard to act like I don’t care. You’d think it would be the opposite, but I find myself caring so much more as a 22-year-old than I ever did when I was 11. Maybe because I still had that childlike innocence.
“I’m gonna dance too.” Lily says, standing up. “Remmy boy, come dance with me.” I fight the urge to roll my eyes, I know exactly what she’s doing. I shake my head with a smile and stand up, letting her lead me to the dance floor where our friends are, just in time to scream the bridge of Cruel Summer with everyone. It’s an amazing moment, I’m not gonna lie.
“I need another drink.” I say when the song ends. A new song starts playing, I recognize it but don’t know the words. I head over to the bar and order myself a new drink. Someone comes up behind me and taps my shoulder. It’s Sirius.
“Don’t wanna dance with me?” He asks, he sounds out of breath and his cheeks are flushed from dancing. I don’t think I’ve ever thought someone is as beautiful as he looks right now. I momentarily forget that I can speak English and then shake my head lightly to get myself out of it.
“I’m not the best dancer.” I say because I can’t really say anything else when I feel like I can’t breathe.
“I know that’s a lie, I saw your performance tonight.” I chuckle, because that wasn’t dancing. It was just strategic moving that I have thoroughly planned out.
“Yes, but I can’t do the type of dancing you’ve been doing. Don’t think my body moves like that.” Sirius coughs out a laugh, I see that I’ve surprised him, and I like that.
“I… I’m sure it could.” He says, and he sounds shyer than he’s sounded since I’ve met him. He clears his throat. “I think I need another drink too.” He walks beside me to grab the bartender's attention. She sees him and comes over.
“A vodka sprite and a splash of cranberry, I’ll start a—.” I cut him off before he can say anything else.
“Put it on my tab, Olivia.” I say. Sirius smiles at me.
“You don’t have to do that.” He says. He looks so damn cute and maybe it’s the bourbon talking but I think I might be falling for him.
***
“I want to.” Remus says. His voice is stern yet soft. He’s so sweet, he just met me and he’s offering to buy me drinks.
“Well, what a gentleman.” I say because I have to flirt with him… just a little. I can’t let this opportunity got to waste. He smiles and shrugs like it’s no big deal, and I guess it’s not. (But could someone tell that to the butterflies in my stomach please? Thanks.)
“How long have you all been friends?” Remus asks, gesturing over to where James is now dancing with both Marlene and Dorcas. I chuckle because I love those losers.
“I met all of them when I was 10 years old at boarding school. James and I were in a dorm together and we met the girls and pretty much did the classic 10-year-old thing and pretended like we hated girls… but by our 3rd year there we were pretty glad to have them actually want to be friends with us.” Remus laughs and I can tell he’s actually listening to every word I say. “When I was 13 the Potter’s adopted me because my birth parents were… are… just awful… anyway.” Why did I just feel the need to trauma dump to Remus… what is wrong with me?
“That’s… I’m really sorry. It’s good you had someone like your parents… the Potter’s I mean. They’re your real parents anyway if they love you how parents are supposed to love their kids. If your birth parents treated you bad, they don’t deserve you.” He smiles at me and I want to cry at his words. People constantly make adopted people feel as though they should be okay with their birth parents, even if they were horrible people… it was so refreshing to hear someone else say that I don’t have to be okay with them. “Sorry, that was probably totally overstepping.” I shake my head.
“No, not at all. I appreciate it a lot.” He smiles at me and god he’s so sincere. “Are you adopted? You speak about it very beautifully.” He shakes his head to indicate no.
“I’m not, but my mom had no relationship with her parents because they weren’t the best. So, I never knew my maternal grandparents and after hearing about what they were like, I’m glad I didn’t. It’s okay to choose things for yourself. And it’s okay to not talk to people who made you feel like shit. She always taught me that.” It seems like this is very personal for him.
“Your mom sounds amazing.” I say, because it’s true. She seems like my mom, my real mom, my adopted mom.
“She was.” Is all he says and now I’m internally cringing, because that must mean that she passed, and I just did the totally insensitive thing…
“Rem, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize…” He doesn’t react badly at all. In fact, he smiles.
“Don’t be sorry. I love talking about her. I don’t do it often because my dad doesn’t like to bring it up but… she was amazing.”
“Well, you’re amazing and so I’m sure that’s a testament to how cool your mom was.” My brain sometimes does this thing where if I’ve even have one sip of alcohol it decides to punish me and embarrass me… this is what happened just now. Why did I say that? Luckily, he chuckles and maybe he’s blushing a bit? I can’t tell for sure, it’s sort of dark in here.
“Wanna dance some more? I definitely can’t follow your lead, but I can bop my head to the music.” I laugh because he’s so… just so…
***
When I finally get home, I plop down into my bed. It was so fun hanging out with Sirius and his friends. He is so sweet… I should have gotten his number...
I open Instagram, ignoring my notifications and click to upload a new post. It’s one of the selfies Sirius and I took earlier, before the bar. I caption it “We’re best friends now” and I tag him. It feels true. Thousands of likes pop up in seconds, but I only pay attention to one, @siriuspotter liked your post! He comments “love love love this!” And my smile practically breaks my face. I scroll through Instagram for a bit longer and I see a new notification from Sirius. @siriuspotter tagged you in a post! “new bestie alert.” I comment “❤️” because as I’ve felt for pretty much this entire night, I just don’t know what to say.
Maybe I’ve completely fallen for someone I just met… which is totally insane.