Chapter 4
The band left the building to head back to their hotel, successfully avoiding paparazzi. It was dark now and the streets were covered in a light sheen of rain, lights from the city reflecting, making the black road colourful. The group huddled and held hands as they walked, they were all exhausted, especially Regulus, but the spirits were kept as high as could be (which wasnt a lot since of the recent incident at the concert).
They reach the glamorous hotel shortly and sign into their rooms, the boys were all in one room and the girls were all in the other. But as all 22-23 year olds do, the girls brought their mattresses into the boys room to have a little sleepover. Everyone pulled their mattresses onto the floor creating one big bed. By the time everyone got settled and changed, it was 1:30am.
“Do you think I should speak to him?” Regulus spoke quietly into the silence of the room. Of course everyone knew who he was talking about.
“If you wish, if you feel that you should, you have that gut feeling that you should, then you should.” Pandora said in an encouraging tone.
“Whatever you think but I still hate him.” Said Dorcas, a mumble of agreement was heard from Barty.
“Do what you want to, we’ll be by your side no matter what-“ Evan said softly, but got cut off by Barty
“But if he hurts you, or even thinks about hurting you, he wont be seeing tomorrow.” Barty said, the rest of the band, aside from Regulus, said words of agreement.
Regulus sat in silence for a couple of minutes, he was lost in his own head, is it too late to repair a bond that was broken years ago? Should he even bother reaching out to Sirius? What if Sirius will walk out on him again? Leave him all alone?
Again..?
He went into an uncomfortable sleep with all of these troubling, contradicting thoughts swirling in his head, and by the time he woke up, he didnt have an answer.
But sometimes you dont get to choose.
Regulus awoke to the sounds of Pandora humming to herself, she was the only one awake doing her hair in the nearby mirror. He stretched and checked his phone, he does his normal routine.
1. Check messages
2. Ignore the streaks that has been sent to you on Snapchat
3. Go on twitter
4. Go on Instagram and reply to some fan dms.
As he was scrolling through his Instagram dms, his heart practically stopped, he turned off his phone and placed it shakily on the makeshift bed.
Pandora noticed this in the mirror and turned around. “Whats wrong?” She said crouching down in front of him.
“He texted me,” Regulus said looking up at her, his entire face showed vulnerability, he looked scared and worried.
It was like a gunshot fired, the air got so tense, Pandora was silent just looking at him with wide water coloured eyes.
“..What did he say?” She asked hesitantly.
“Tu étais un tel garçon à maman et tu es toujours aussi dramatique qu'il y a cinq ans,” Regulus reads out, then quickly translating, “you were such a mamas boy and your still as dramatic as you were five years ago.” He looks up from his phone at Pandora with a confused, vulnerable expression.
“I mean at least he’s not arguing with you?” A raspy voice comes from underneath a sleeping Evan.
Barty raises his head, “Whys he speaking in french anyway? And hes calling you dramatic.” He rolls his eyes and drops his head back on the mattress.
Regulus sighs at Barty's remark and doesnt reply, "What am I mean to say to that? Does he mean it in a good way? I thought he hated me why is he even speaking to me?" He rushed out, panic an confusion seeping into his voice.
"Maybe, maybe he misses you.." Pandora said looking at him with those magical eyes who looked like she knew what Sirius meant.
Regulus chuckled, but then stopped all of a sudden, "No, no he wouldnt miss me, he left me. He knew what that house was like and left me, he didnt even try and speak to me in school! Remember? Remember when I went up to him in fourth year, asking how his summer was? And he gave me this look of pure utter disgust, Je veux dire, allez ! Qui pense-t-il être? il m'a quitté, il a eu l'occasion de me parler, il aurait pu m'emmener avec lui! Why didn't he take me with him?" He rambles, feeling so many emotions, anger and sadness, guilt, and absence.
Barty lifts his head up, Evan still lying on him fast asleep. "Hey hey, dont worry, calm it, we wont let him hurt you, never again." Barty says in a serious tone which is not often heard from him.
Pandora nods, "But possibly, he is feeling the guilt of leaving you and wants to reconnect that brother relationship? Perhaps hes gotten mature and realised how he shouldve been grateful for what good relationships he had."
"Yeah right as if Sirius is ever going to be mature." Barty says scoffing.
Regulus just looks down, "I'm- I'm just gonna go the bathroom." He swiftly stood up and walked to the bathroom, as soon as he got in he locked the door and wretched into the toilet. Dry heaving, panting, he grips the toilet seat. A few minutes later, he stops gagging.
Thats when the panic sets in. His brother who he hasnt spoken to in 5 years, has just texted him. Regulus leans against the bathroom floor on where hes sitting and clutches his hair, he breathes but nothings coming in. Tears run down his face, his porcelain skin tainted by salty tears, he muffles his sobs and harsh breathing against his sleeve. He's dealt with panic attacks before by himself, and sure he could just walk out of the bathroom door and ask help from his friends, but this is Regulus.
A while later when the panic shifts into a less pronounced version, he stands up on shaky legs and grips the nearby sink with weak hands. He looks at himself in the mirror and hates what he sees, his eyes are red and bloodshot, his black curly hair droops down his face and he has large dark circles around his eyes that ahvent been covered up by concealer.
Despite all of the running thoughts in his head, the one phrase thats standing out, like a scream in a muffled crowd.
Mon frére, Sirius.