A cold wind breeze caressed the werewolf’s face as he headed to the open front door of the Black house. Remus really wasn’t feeling well today. Maybe it wasn’t just that day in particular. He figured that having bad days was meant to be by now, and honestly he accepted it.
Like a lot of people, his best years were back at Hogwarts, with his best friends, and he thought the amount of happiness and joy given to him back then was all he would ever get in his whole life. I’m being dramatic, he thought, but deep in his heart he just knew it was true.
The meeting of the Order was particularly harsh today, mentioning a few times his long lost friends. And despite the fact the event happened almost 12 years ago, he could still feel the same sharp pain in his heart.
"Lupin" called a low and worn out voice. Remus turned to face the man standing in the door frame and wondered why it was him who stopped him from going home back to his new book.
"Snape" he responded coldly. The man advanced a little more on the top of the steps and continued talking.
"Heard you broke up with Tonks, what a shame really" the irony in his voice was so obvious that Remus wanted to hex the potion teacher.
"Yes, we didn’t get along so well" he turned back to the road and started to go down the stairs again. But the same voice caught him "I’m really not surprised, I mean considering what you are"
Remus felt himself go stiff, and immediately tried to hide it. He knew the man behind was not above calling people out on things they couldn’t control, but even for him, it was a low blow.
He turned his head to look back at Snape.
"What did you just say to me?" he asked with a controlled voice. The wizard behind him barely held back the smirk forming on his thin lips. Probably knowing he caught him off guard by his comment.
"I said it wasn’t surprising that you two love birds are no longer together, knowing what you are" he shrugged.
Remus felt his hand close forcefully on itself. Anger, sadness and loneliness coming back to his face all at once, he walked back toward the other man. When he arrived at mere inches from Snape, he stared at him so hard he could swear a spell could have gotten out without him saying a single word. The man in front of him raised his chin, defiantly.
"You know damn well me being a werewolf has nothing to do with what happened between us" Remus snarled. Snape’s gaze scrutinized his body up and down, and when his eyes landed on his own again, he saw red. He was chuckling. He was fucking chuckling.
"That’s not exactly what I meant, Lupin" he answered, smile still on. Confusion was an understatement to what he was feeling at the moment.
"I’m sure she was indifferent to that part of you, really. The undeniable truth about you is much deeper than that. People could get fooled easily, if they don’t know you well enough" he continued, approaching dangerously close. Remus took a step back, and felt he was on the edge of the stairs and couldn’t bring himself to descend lower.
"What I meant, is she most certainly noticed that nature of yours in the end" he said, disdain starting to overcome the smug expression on his face. Remus took a sharp intake of air, the anticipation growing as the conversation went on. Snape’s mouth was close to his ear when he breathed the answer to his interrogation.
"You’re nothing but a coward. And anyone close enough can see right through that false bravado of yours." He turned his head even closer, noticing how it made the werewolf fidget, obviously uncomfortable. "But I’m sure you knew that already, Moony".
Like a jolt, he felt himself act on instinct. He shoved Snape away from him forcefully, his back hitting the closed door behind him. That nickname was taboo to him now, like a reminder to the tragic story behind the ones who invented it.
"Don’t you ever call me that again, you have no fucking right to call me by that name" he started, anger and fear palpable in his voice.
"You think you’re so clever, judging people, thinking you know it all. You know nothing! So don’t you dare say I’m a coward when I continued to have hope when you gave up" he continued, confidence coming back to him.
Snape didn’t budge at his words, and that annoyed him very much. He collected himself, and moved away from the door he was against. His usual annoyed face back on his features.
"But I know. And he knew too" he spat. Remus’s blood turned cold at that. Despite the fact no name had been used, he knew very well who the man was referring to. He took a step toward him, again, and grabbed him by the collar harshly. He brought his face to his level, tugging on the fabric in his hand.
"Keep his name out your fucking mouth" he responded, coldly. The man huffed, apparently unimpressed. But deep down, a shiver grew in the back of his neck at the change in demeanor from Remus.
"I didn’t name anyo–"
"You know very well what I meant" he spoke, cutting him off. His lips quivered slightly, the subject being the very cause of his nightmares and dreams. He wasn’t ready yet, he don’t think he ever will be. Remus released the hold he had on his shirt and stepped back.
"From now on, speak to me only if it’s an important matter related to the Order. Don’t act like you’re part of my personal life and have a right to address my love life" he said, his composure slowly falling apart. Snape had an unreadable expression, and he didn’t bother trying to figure out what it meant.
When hurt and concern showed on his face, Remus was already halfway through the neighborhood, a single tear sliding from his eye.