Star Shopping

Remus grunted as he flopped out of bed with a thud. He stretched and yawned, as he climbed onto his feet and walked into the bathroom. The full moon was nearing, three days to be exact, and his hearing was sensitive - more so than usual. All three heartbeats were accounted for, and so Remus stumbled into the restroom. He looked down at his mismatched black and white socks as to avoid his ghastly reflection into the mirror. Remus had never dared to look at himself, he couldn't bare it. The scars which decorated his face only reminded him more of his lycanthropy.

He quickly undressed, and shut himself into a shower stall. Remus turned the knob on the tap slowly, letting the hot water drip down his once freezing body, as he let out a deep sigh. After he had cleaned himself up, he grabbed a towel, wrapped it around his waist, left the stall and grabbed another fluffy towel in order to dry his soaking wet hair. Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened, and a half asleep Sirius staggered inside. Remus immediately panicked, and turned to face the opposite direction.

"Um, don't look!" He called out, and Sirius immediately let out an inaudible mutter. "Give me a second," Remus said, hurriedly throwing on his uniform whilst Sirius' back was turned. "Done." He called out, and Sirius turned to face him. Unfortunately for him, Sirius was staring down at his chest and biting his lip with wide eyes. Remus confusingly panicked and looked down, gasping loudly. "Shit!" He looked down and realised that he hadn't properly buttoned up his shirt, and one of his silver scars which was etched across his chest was clearly on display, and Sirius had indefinitely noticed it.

"Is that a scar?" The pale boy finally asked, Remus swallowed the lump which had formed in his throat, and nodded. "You're not alone," Sirius whispered, and Remus' head shot up. He looked over to the long haired boy to see him lifting up his silk pyjama shirt, revealing a jagged, golden scar which stretched across the middle of his stomach. This one wasn't neat, like Remus', and seemed as if somebody else had inflicted it upon him. Remus bit his lip, knowing that Sirius couldn't possibly have lycanthropy.

They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes, before Remus cleared his throat and exited the bathroom, brushing pass Sirius as he left. "Hey mate." James called out, waving to Remus. He usually had a shower before bed, and so wasn't a bother in the mornings as he slept in longer. Peter, on the other hand, had a shower the night as well, although he typically did it before dinner. Clearly, everybody agreed with Remus in thinking that this was disgusting. Remus gave James a half nod in return to his greeting. "You wanna come to the quidditch match?" James offered, and Remus immediately shook his head in response.

"I don't do well with people," He started, "I've always been really antisocial, my first friend was a dragon, and I'm shit at flying. You do the maths." James pursed his lips together and nodded, taking the hint.

"You've never had any friends?" Peter suddenly butted in, "I thought you grew up in an orphanage?" The squeaky boy asked, and Remus clenched his fist in rage.

"I'm not an orphan!" He snapped, "My mum will come back for me," Remus stared at the ground, he had clung onto that small bit of hope his whole life. Perhaps one day she'd snap out of it, then seek him out. "She's not dead yet." He added on, seeing the unconvinced faces of Peter and James. They nodded along, still not looking very persuaded. At Remus' orphanage, he was always picked on for saying things like that.

A sudden memory flooded through his head, he was eight years old and three twelve year olds had shoved him into the hard dirt. They all had buzzed heads, one was blonde, two were brunette. One of the brunettes had a long scar etched across his face, and the other had a more defined jawline. Whereas the blonde was extremely skinny and frail.

"She won't come back for you!" The one with the scar spat, and the other brunette chuckled at Remus' defenceless expression.

"We're all dirt here! You aren't special, she left you for a reason." The blonde added on, his snide remarks cut Remus like a thousand thorns.

"She's just gone a bit loony!" Remus choked back, biting his lip to stop the tears which were welling up in his eyes to pour out.

"You're one to talk loony Lupin." The final boy said, Remus had picked up that nickname after he had unintentionally murdered the boy from before. "We all know you're crazy." The boys towered over Remus' weak eight year old body. Remus instinctively flipped them all off, earning him a kick in the face. He would've fought back, but he was trying to avert attention from him lately. So he took it. He allowed them to beat him to a pulp, before helplessly crawling away, and cowering into his dorm room.

After the memory was over, he looked up to see James trying to get his attention, calling his name. "Remus!" He screamed in his ear, and Remus shot his head upwards.

"What?" He snapped back, and James flinched slightly at the sudden aggressiveness of Remus' tone. "Sorry, bad mood." James stared down at him, Remus probably looked the same way in which he did on the first day there, a defenceless coward.

"Are you alright," James asked, beaming down at him. Remus nodded his head instantly, and James stared at him with an unconvinced expression.

"I'm fine." Remus replied, shortly. What was he doing? He had finally made some friends and was going to scare them off as he always did, perhaps, it was for the better. Remus sighed and picked up his satchel, Peter raised an eyebrow at him. "Trickster." Remus said, as Sirius exited the bathroom in his school uniform. Everybody, except Peter, was ready for classes, but as it was only breakfast, he suspected that they'd go down to eat whilst Remus visited his dragon friend. "See you in potions." He said, slamming the door behind him.

*Sirius POV*

Sirius walked out of the bathroom to see a very intense looking Remus, a puzzled looking James and a clueless looking Peter. "See you in potions." Remus said, and exited the room, slamming the wooden door shut. Sirius flinched at the noise, and James bit his lip awkwardly.

"Is anyone else feeling like he's not fine?" Peter commented, and Sirius let a laugh escape his lips.

"You know when he talks to that dragon he treats the bugger like a therapist?" James said, his eyebrow slightly raised. Sirius smirked widely and Peter looked up at them, confused.

"Come on, you can't be thinking about spying again?" Peter said, his voice shaking. James and Sirius shared a devious glance, before nodding at Peter. "Guys this is serious!" He snapped, and Sirius chuckled at the easy joke opportunity.

"No I'm Sirius." He snickered, earning him a slap on the arm from James. "Fine, don't come with, but we want to check in on our friend." Sirius said, his nose upturned. He felt quite guilty about spying, but, he had done it his whole childhood and so didn't seem out of the ordinary, or invasive. He and James began making their way up the spiral staircase towards the room of requirement, they weren't surprised to have caught up to Remus halfway there. Remus was quite a slow walker, as he tended to take in the beauty of the castle. He was muttering to himself as he walked, something to do with the moon. Perhaps he was frustrated about astronomy.

Once he had reached the room of requirement, James and Sirius braced themselves to dash forward the second Remus opened the door. "I wish I had friends." And, go. They hurried inside, settling into their corner. Trickster was jumping and barking like a puppy, and suddenly Remus was grinning ear to ear. Merlin, he must've loved that dragon. James leant his head against Sirius' shoulder, and yawned. They both listened intently as Remus complained, "I'm in such a bad mood, you know what's coming up?" He asked the dragon, who jumped playfully. Sirius thought that Trickster reminded him of his younger brother, Regulus.

"So I have charms, potions, defence and astronomy at midnight. So bloody annoying." Sirius had to purse his lips in order to stop a snicker from falling from his mouth. "You know what else? I finally have friends, and I'm such a bad person to them." Sirius shrugged James off of his shoulder, and James immediately straightened up. They both leaned forward slightly, listening in. "You know, I snapped at James this morning. Can I tell you a story, Trickster?" The eager dragon hopped around, and Remus chuckled as he stroked it.

"The secret I told you, that's the reason why I made sure to distance myself, yanno? I'm proper upset that I have to keep it, but I might die if somebody finds out. You wouldn't  tell, right?" Remus bent down to scratch the animal behind the ear, earning him a fierce bite on his hand. Sirius' ears twitched, so he does have a secret. James' moral code must've taken over, because surely, they were creeping out of the door which was behind Remus, and in the empty hallway.

"Why'd you leave?" Sirius asked, tilting his head left slightly.

"It's too personal, Pete was right. Maybe we shouldn't bug him anymore, he obviously doesn't trust us to tell us this secret." James said with a sigh.

"Surely you're not serious?" Sirius snapped.

"No you're-" James started before he was cut off by Sirius himself.

"He's always wanted friends, I have bloody secrets too, you have an invisibility cloak for Merlin's sake! We can't just stop being his mate because he doesn't want to tell us his deepest darkest secret after knowing us for a day." After he finished his rant, he noticed James was staring at his shoe, biting his lip in guilt. "Let's go get some food, then we have charms." Sirius said, guiding James towards the kitchens as they had missed breakfast from eavesdropping.

They quickly scoffed down their food, and Sirius took notice of the fact that Remus never showed up. He shoved a sandwich in his pocket, just in case. Afterwards, they made their way to charms. He sat in his usual seat, and surely, Remus was already there, chatting to Evans about some sort of homework assignment. They had completed a month of school already, and it was the first of October now.

*Remus POV*

Remus was talking to Lily Evans about homework as they waited for Professor Flitwick, specifically their defence homework. "Ms. Luck isn't very captivating, is she?" Lily stated, and Remus mumbled in soft agreement. In their first few weeks of defence classes, they had only discussed the origins of different hexes, but they had been promised that in their second month of lessons they would begin duelling.

Charms flew by, and there was no practical work during the lesson. Potions was as usual, Remus, Marlene, Severus and Dorcas all completed the potion with (minimal) spillages and disagreements. "Twenty minute break," Sirius swung an arm over Remus, shoulder, and his hand draped down to his front. "You wanna come explore with us?" He asked.

"Uh, I was gonna look for some more secret passages." Remus replied, slightly politer than he usually would've when rejecting somebody.

"More? Can you show us the rest?" Sirius gestured to his other two friends, and Remus felt quite stupid for having not notice them. The pleading look in Remus' eyes made him feel a punch of guilt having refused his offer, and so he hesitantly nodded, pursing his lips as he made the motion. "Great, lead the way!" Remus made a small hum of agreement, as he pulled his map from his worn down rucksack.

"There's one just up here." Remus said, pointing forwards without looking up from his map. The other boys curiously followed him, although Remus despised taking on leadership roles. He guided them towards a one-eyed witch statue, which opened when he pushed on the correct silver brick. "It leads to honeydukes in Hogsmeade." Remus simply said. The other boys gaped in awe, but Remus decided it would've been best if he headed straight to defence.

"Where're you off to?" Sirius asked, catching up with him. Remus glanced around for Peter and James, and Sirius must've noticed this because he quickly said, "It's just me, they're going a longer way to defence so they can set up a prank." He explained, and Remus nodded along, unsure of why Sirius would pick him over his best mates.

"Why did you go with me?" Remus suddenly asked after a minute of silence, and Sirius shrugged with a grunt. "I mean, they're your best friends."

"You're also one of my best mates," Sirius said, and Remus felt a smile form across his face, "Plus, you're fit as fuck." Sirius winked, and Remus could feel his cheeks heat up even though he was aware that this was just pretend flirting.  "You blush very easily, did you know?" Sirius said, and Remus scoffed.

"I do not!" Remus exclaimed, and Sirius chuckled at his defensive reaction, although, before he could respond, they had reached the classroom, and Marlene approached the pair of them.

"Hi, Remus!" She grinned, beaming at him, and Remus greeted her with an equally excited smile. "I can't wait for our first duelling lesson." Marlene said excitedly, and Remus agreed quite passionately.  Sirius was eventually joined by his mates, and they talked between them until the doors magically swung open, and they all entered. The classroom looked different, however. The desks were stacked on top of each other, and all of the chairs had been placed into a secluded corner. Their teacher, Mrs Luck, stood at the front. She was a tall, frail, elderly woman. Her long, black hair reached her lower back, and she had smokey eyes. Remus felt quite uncomfortable around her, although he couldn't quite place why.

"Today, we'll be going over some simple spells which can be used for defence, as is entailed in the class name." A few Slytherin's chuckled, along with Lily. Although, Remus didn't understand a word of what was just spoken quite clearly to them. "Now, if you flick your wand like this, it will deflect jinxes." Mrs Luck said, swishing her wand with the flick of her wrist. "Alright, everybody pair up, one person cast the jelly legs jinx whilst the other attempts to deflect it." Remus swallowed, who would he pair with?

Surprisingly, Sirius tapped him on the shoulder and offered to pair up with him, and Remus hesitantly agreed. They both took a few steps apart from each other, and Remus was quite happy to see that nobody was paying attention to him as they were all focused on their own duels. They brought their wands up to their faces, bowed, and went into a fighting stance. "Jelly legs jinx!" Sirius called out, and Remus deflected it with ease. He didn't quite see what the big deal was. Remus continued to do this for around ten minutes, before Sirius was out of breath and panting.

"You're really good at this!" He exclaimed, and Remus just shrugged. He had just assumed that his magic may be stronger due to his being a werewolf.

"Remus, a word?" Mrs Luck said, seemingly appearing from nowhere and looming behind him. Remus nodded, pursing his lips together. His friends shot him a suspicious glance and Remus just shrugged innocently at them, although he had a vague idea of what this might be referring too.

After the classroom had cleared, and it was just the two of them, Remus made his way over to the plain, oak desk. "I understand your affliction," She started, before Remus cut her off.

"Don't call it that." He snapped, and she nodded, as if deep in thought. However, Mrs Luck ignored this and decided to continue her point.

"It's quite unfair in my opinion, that you're this much stronger than the other students due to your affinity." Remus felt sick in his stomach, his insides were churning and twisting inside of him, he wanted to throw up.

"Unfair? You think this is unfair for you? I've been fucking tearing myself apart month after month since I was a child, and you're complaining that I'm too strong? I'm not sure what your asking me, but I'm not fucking doing it." He quickly said, and she harshly stared down at him, eyes filled with judgement. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she had a crease in between them.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor, you will not talk to me like that." She said, then before Remus could reply, she flicked her wand, and Remus was levitating out the double doors.

"Fuck you, old bitch!" He shouted as the doors swung open and he landed flat on his arse. Remus glanced around, and felt the embarrassment heat his face when he noticed Sirius, James and Peter stood there with very shocked expressions. It seemed that they had only heard him swearing, though.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked, intrigued.

"Said I'm too powerful, and that it's unfair. The old cunt." He remarked, and James snickered, before slapping his hand flatly on Remus' back whilst Peter pulled him to his feet. Remus gave them a convincing fake, half-smile. In truth, he had been quite offended and felt so ashamed of who he was now. This was how everybody would always see him, though.

A disgusting, rabid, beast who has too much deliberate power for his own good.

A monster.