chapter 4
A couple days passed, and all was well. Regulus was happy. For the most part. James and Sirius let him come into the forest near James' house with them and Regulus was exploring everything a bit more. September was drawing near, and Regulus going to miss the place. That's a first. He had almost everything he would need for Hogwarts ready. (Except his owl, but he probably wouldn't be returning.)
September 1st-
Regulus woke up (begrudgingly) to lots of commotion coming from outside his door. He heard a shower running, doors opening and closing, voices echoing through the house.
Oh, right. School.
He stared at the ceiling for a quick minute before finnaly pulling himself out of bed and going to shower. He could smell breakfast being cooked down stairs. This would be Regulus' first day of being at hogwarts officially away from his parents. He didn't know if it would feel different, and he also didn't know if he was hoping it would or not.
He stepped out of the shower and pulled on a grey sweater and some black khakis. He quickly brushed his teeth and combed through his hair before rushing down stairs.
"Regulus! We're leaving in 15 minutes. We have bacon and eggs for breakfast. " Euphemia said from the couch, looking up from the newspaper she was doing the puzzles in. Is that a muggle newspaper?
Regulus grabbed himself a plate and grabbed some bacon and made a piece of toast. He had always hated the way scrambled eggs felt in his mouth.
He would have eaten slowly, but he was sort of in a rush. He finished within 5 minutes and took his plate to the sink and went back up the stairs to gather up the last of his things. He sort of didn't want to leave. The house was so nice and warm and safe.
What if his parents told all the other pure blood parents what had happened? What if Regulus would never be able tot all to Barty and Evan again?
He decided to push that thought aside for the time being. Surely they wouldn't care. He thought. they are both idiots, they wouldn't listen to their parents out of spite anyway.
"James, Sirius! We're leaving! " He heard Monty yell from the hallway.
James and Sirius came running down the stairs. "We're ready! " James yelled back, and they all went through the floo.
Regulus felt like a little kid again. The train seemed like it did all thoes years ago. Regulus didn't know why. Maybe because he was going with effie instead of Walburga, or because he wasn't partially dreading it, it didn't matter. Regulus felt great.
"Send us letters! Goodbye! " Effie was yelling as they headed toward the train. Regulus hesitated. He turned around and gave Effie and Monty each a quick hug then ran off towards the train. He was not a hugger, but he couldn't deny how comfortable it was hugging certain people.
"Regulus, want to sit with us? " James said.
"Oh- er- I'm ok. Thanks. " He turned around, rushing to find Pandora.
He found Pandora, Evan, & Barty and closed the door before sitting down. He didn't like to hear all the rustle and people talking over each other.
The train ride went by fine. It was mostly the same as usual, aside from all the questions. They watched the sorting, ate too much, and went to their common rooms.
Regulus set up his room as always. He sat with his friends at meals as always. Him and pandora would go to their usual hang out spot in the come-and-go room as always. Sirius did not talk to Regulus. As always.
Everything felt basically the same.
The exact same.
Sure, James had started being even nicer to Regulus even though he never seemed to have an issue with him before, and Remus and him studied together when they we're in the library instead if sitting in an awkward silence and Regulus stopped hearing sirius talking about how much he hated him everytime he breathed incorrectly, but they still weren't close and Sirius wasn't making an effort to do so.
Regulus had thought that their relationship was permanently damaged. He thought they would never be able to be close because of their parents, even though he would have loved to. He missed Sirius, and now he finnaly had the opportunity to fix their relationship and Sirius didn't seem to care.
A couple of days had passed and Regulus decided that he wasn't going to pass by this opportunity. During dinner, he found Sirius and slipped him a scrap piece of parchment.
Please come to the astronomy tower after dinner. I just want to talk.
Dinner slowly trudged by. Finally, Regulus found himself at the astronomy tower waiting for Sirius and praying he would even show up.
"Regulus."
Regulus jumped, startled by the sudden noise in the quiet tower.
"Oh! Sirius,"
Sirius stared for a few seconds. "What did you need to talk to me about? " He said, gesturing for Regulus to say something.
"Sorry.." He pondered for a few seconds, wondering if he should just get straight to the point or be gentle about it.
''Sirius, why don't you want to be close with me? What went wrong?" Regulus said, finnaly getting a grip on himself.
"What are you talking about? I do want to be close to you. Nothing went wrong. " Sirius said as if Regulus had just asked him what two plus two was.
"No, Sirius. You don't. You don't try." Regulus took a breath, deciding that he was just going to talk. He had been holding it all back for too long. "Mother and Father always kept me from talking to you. I always wanted to be close to you, but you've hated me since the day I got sorted into Slytherin. That day when I called you a disappointment, I didn't want to. I had to. I tried to tell you, but you refused to even look at me from then on. I know you were worried about me when I finally escaped, but we cant just leave it at that. You hated me for 5 years. That didn't just go away, Sirius. I tried to be close to you and you wouldn't let me and now I feel like there is finally some hope but you just don't care. Why don't you care? We used to be so close, Sirius. Why do you hate me?" Regulus said, his voice cracking in the last sentence. He was practically begging the tears not to form. That is the last thing he needs right now.
For a split second, Sirius looked like he finally didn't automatically know what to say. Only for a split second, before that look that he always had when he thought what he was saying is common sense returned.
"Regulus, what do you mean? Of course I don't hate y-"
"Then prove it." Regulus cut him off. "I love you. You're my brother. I never once hated you. I never once said anything bad about you to my friends or other people. I didn't even consider hating you when you left. I blamed it on James, on Euphemia, on anyone but you. Even after I stopped blaming them, I was upset, but I didn't hate you. As soon as I was sorted into Slytherin you decided I was just like the rest of the family. The day before my first day of Hogwarts, you told me you would love me no matter what, and I believed you. You haven't said those words to me since. "
Regulus was crying now, trying to keep his voice under control. If Regulus hadn't know any better he would've said Sirius had tears in his eyes as well.
Sirius started walking towards Regulus. Regulus backed up. Sirius frowned before pulling Regulus into a hug.
"I'm sorry. I love you."
That was all it took before Regulus couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He let himself cry into Sirius' shoulder as he slid down the wall to sit on the floor. That was all he had wanted for years. A hug from Sirius. An apology frim Sirius. An I love you from Sirius. They stayed like that for a while until Regulus was able to pull himself together.
"Why, then?" He whispered.
"Because I didn't want you to get hurt. I meant what I said. I never stopped loving you. When I started talking about you with my friends was when I thought you had given up on me. You called me a disapointment. I didn't know how to handle it. I could always ignore it when it came from our parents and cousins because I didn't care if they hated me. It was different coming from you. I didn't know what to do, so I just shut you out. I should have know you never would have said that willingly. "
Regulus didn't say anything else after that. Neither did Sirius. They stayed like that for a while until Regulus finally got up. Sirius walked with him until they had to go seperate ways. Sirius began to walk off.
"Sirius, wait! " Regulus yelled.
Sirius turned around, confused. Regulus ran up to him and gave him a hug.
"I love you. "
"I love you too. "