Chapter 5
Maeve blinked the sleep out of her eyes, and became instantly aware of the weight holding her to her bed. Rowan slept next to Maeve - or more accurately, on top of her - with her head resting heavily on Maeve's chest. At first, the sight of her younger sister brought a smile to Maeve's lips, until she remembered the reason for Rowan's sleepover.
Memories of the previous night appeared in her mind, and overwhelming anxiety set it soon after. The eyes of every student would be on her to both assess the damage and judge her for how she acted after losing the duel. Maeve was embarrassed about how she reacted to losing - after all, wasn't it Maeve who always prioritized concealing her emotions when it came to dueling? She thought of the Ravenclaw student she beat earlier in the competition, who also lost out on the chance to participate in the Regional Tournament. It could very well have meant just as much to her, yet she still congratulated Maeve and shook her hand. Maeve didn't so much as make eye contact with Charity after the duel.
This wouldn't do. Maeve refused to let herself lose the skill she had worked hardest on throughout her life: strict control of how she presents herself. Sure, last night was a setback - a huge setback - but there would be no more slips of her mask. From now on, she was going to face the tournament head on. She would attend the duels with her friends, cheer on Sebastian and Charity with a respectable amount of enthusiasm, and smile in the faces of those who question her wellbeing after the loss. Sure, the thought of doing every single one of those things made Maeve wasn't to dive into the Black Lake and never return, but she was determined to keep her discomfort from showing. She would start with going to the Great Hall, finding Charity, and properly congratulating her on her win.
Maeve did the best she could to move her younger sister off her chest without disturbing her, but Rowan's eyes fluttered open almost instantly. Maeve watched her younger sister carefully, waiting for the inevitable question about how Maeve was feeling, but she was relieved when Rowan just turned to her and asked, "Breakfast?"
As the sisters exited Maeve's room and stepped into the Gryffindor common room, Maeve immediately noticed the absence of Garreth's fiery hair, and her heart sank. When she first woke up, she had no idea how she would ever face him again after pouring her tears on his robes, but now she knew nothing could help her right now than hearing him crack one of his stupid jokes, or rave about his next big potion idea.
"Good morning ladies!" Natty called in the common room, leaving their dormitory only a minute after they did.
"Room for two more?" Saoirse asked as she entered behind her.
Maeve was acutely aware of the focused looks on their faces, no doubt analyzing Maeve's demeanor to see how much they needed to comfort her. In response, Maeve stood up straighter, and equipped the most convincing smile she could manage. “Always!" she said cheerfully.
"C'mon, I'm starving!" Rowan smiled and took the lead toward the exit of the common room.
"Wait!" Maeve called out abruptly, immediately prompting worried stares from the others. She looked over toward the boys dormitories, seeing no one. "It's just, should we wait for Garreth?"
Natty looked at the time. "No, I think it may be a bit before he wakes up. We were up late last night in the common room... that boy can talk, you know." Maeve wasn't quite sure what to make of the amused look on Natty's face, other than they were talking about her. Maeve’s heart sank - had she embarrassed Garreth?
For reasons she couldn't quite understand, her mind kept coming back to Garreth as she thought about the previous day. Whenever she would think about the moment she lost the duel, it would be immediately followed by remembering how Garreth's arms felt around her, strong yet impossibly gentle. The look in his eyes when he first ran up to her were so comforting, though his underlying concern most definitely shone through. Meanwhile, Maeve considered herself to be quite a wreck, and the horrifying thought that she may have embarrassed him in front of the whole school tightened her chest even more than the tournament result alone. She felt desperate to know what he was thinking in all of this, but the idea of asking him felt scarier than not knowing at all.
Maybe it was better that he wouldn't be walking with them to breakfast after all.
Walking into the Great Hall, Maeve was reminded of her plan for damage control when she saw Charity standing near the end of the Slytherin table talking to Sebastian. At the sight, she felt the slightest twinge of jealously that Charity was talking to Maeve's dueling partner, until she remembered the he actually was Charity's partner now. Merlin, this was going to feel like a long Regional Tournament season. Still, despite every part of her wanting to go crawl away and hide in an empty classroom, Maeve knew that she had to go talk to Charity in order to start getting through this.
As she approached, Maeve was very much aware of the displeased expression on Charity's face, but decided to ignore it. "Good morning you two! Charity, I just really wanted to congratulate you on a duel well won. I apologize that I didn't do this yesterday, but that was truly an impressive showing. I just hope to see more of those impressive Bombardas at Crossed Wands this year - "
"Oh, I'm not going to be joining the rest of you at Crossed Wands for a while. I obviously have much more important duels to focus on. But I hope you all have... a lot of fun." Charity said, making no attempt to correct her condescending tone. Maeve opened her mouth slightly, but had truly no clue what to say, and the silence that followed produced a smug smile on Charity's face. "Sebastian, speaking of those important duels, Headmistress Weasley wants us to go up there and speak with her. I think she is interested in making an announcement."
Charity did not wait for Sebastian to follow before walking off, allowing a brief moment between him and Maeve. A sorrowful look filled his eyes as he glanced back and forth between Maeve and the direction Charity was heading, very clearly torn between having to go up there but not wanting to leave Maeve on that note. Maeve became increasingly aware in this moment that Sebastian and her hadn't actually talked about the duel yet, only having shared a look after the initial defeat. Finally, his eyes landed on her with more focus, and he placed his hands on her shoulders in a tight but comforting grip.
"I'm... so sorry. We will talk about this, I promise, but I should probably go up there." He said, distress clear in his voice. Maeve simply nodded in response. "I'm sorry." He repeated before finally walking away.
She took the moment alone to take a deep breath and try to will away the lump in her throat. As Maeve returned to her group, now sat at the Gryffindor table, they questioned what she was doing. "I just went to congratulate Charity and Sebastian again... I felt bad that I didn't yesterday." Maeve said coolly, even offering a smile to reassure them that she was fine.
Luckily, Rowan was particularly chatty, and her endless additions to the conversation allowed Maeve the break from having to speak up and pretend she was feeling better than she was. However, when Maeve caught the bright red curls heading their way from the corner of her eye, she knew that she had to put her game face back on. She was determined to feel normal around him.
When he was closer, Maeve could easily see from the bags under his eyes and his sluggish movement he did not have a restful night's sleep. "You look awful." She blurted out.
She could tell her comment startled him. His eyes shot up to hers, displaying a mix of concern and disbelief. He watched her for a moment as he sat down, but eventually shifted his gaze to awkwardly look around at each member of the group without saying a word. When he made eye contact with Natty, who's expression was not nearly as confused as Maeve felt by his behavior, her stomach sank. He clearly felt uncomfortable around Maeve, so much that he needed to silently convey this someone who would understand, such as Natty. This basically confirmed that when Natty said her and Garreth talked late last night, it was about Garreth's embarrassment surrounding Maeve.
Unable to stand the silence even longer, Maeve repeated, "Garreth? I said that you look awful."
Finally, he snapped out of whatever trance he was in, and she saw a glimpse of that goofy, crooked smile of his. It immediately brought her the slightest bit of comfort. "Well, I'm channeling my inner Sallow. What do you think?" he responded, and she couldn't help but chuckle out of sheer relief that he was cracking a joke with her. Maeve didn't feel totally free from worry, because Garreth was still definitely acting weird, but seeing that familiar smile brought her a comfort that she was pretty sure nothing else could.
Then, Headmistress Weasley began to make an announcement regarding the tournament.
As soon as she started speaking, Maeve felt the friends around her tense. She knew that they would be watching her for her reaction, trying to assess the amount of comfort that they might need to provide. Merlin, Garreth wasn't even subtle about it, staring right at Maeve. She refused to look at him directly though, or anyone for that matter, and risk giving them insight into the sadness that hearing about the tournament that she would not be competing in was producing. She simply stared directly at Headmistress Weasley, pretending to listen while also tuning out every word she said. She took her social cues from the crowd around her, clapping politely when appropriate, and focused on keeping her expression as neutral as she could manage. Given the amount of discomfort she felt on the inside, she thought she did a pretty good job.
Maeve’s discomfort only grew as she progressed through her classes that day. Not regarding the tournament, but rather her best friend, who was seemingly avoiding her. Every time she walked into a class they shared, Garreth already claimed the seat next to Leander. It was like he was rubbing in her face that he was put off by her, and it was driving her insane. Screw trying to appear unaffected - she needed him to say what was going on.
In the same way that Garreth correctly pointed Rowan toward the Clock Tower Courtyard yesterday, Maeve knew exactly where to find him. When she walked into the potions classroom, she was confused and disappointed to not find Garreth sweating over a bubbling cauldron, but then she noticed that the door to Sharp's office was open. She had no doubt in her mind that the redhead would be in there.
Walking over and glancing inside the room, she confirmed her belief when she saw Garreth staring intensely at the shelf of ingredients turned slightly away from her. Realizing that in his focused state even the calmest of greetings would probably frighten him, Maeve smirked and decided to capitalize on the moment.
"That'll be a detention for you, Mr. Weasley." Maeve loudly mimicked Sharp's gravely voice. It was not at all convincing, but the intrusion alone was enough to make Garreth jump. She giggled as she watched his frightened reaction, which was followed by relief and annoyance that replaced it when he realized it was only Maeve there.
"Godric's heart, Maeve, you are going to pay for that one!" He scolded, pointing annoyingly close to her face. He was clearly working hard to suppress a smile, but he wasn't totally able to fight off the corners of his lips curling.
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t be eyeing up ingredients that aren’t yours.” She replied. As they stood there longer, she sensed a unfamiliar tension in Garreth as he looked down at her. She wished so badly that she could just ignore it, but the words slipped out before she could stop them. "Garreth, did I embarrass you yesterday?”
His eyes widened. "You must be joking! I could never be embarrassed by you."
"It's just that you have been acting strange around me all day. First in the Great Hall, and then wouldn't sit with me during classes -"
"It's not you!" Garreth blurted out. "Trust me, it's not about you. I just had a weird night's sleep is all, and then I've had this bad headache all day, and..." He started to ramble, but uncharacteristically caught himself, and simply looked to Maeve for her reaction.
Maeve wasn't sure to make of this reaction. Of course, she didn't believe him. He looked anxious, shifting his weight between his feet incessantly, and he was seemingly unable to make eye contact with her for more than a few seconds. But, if she didn't believe him, what would that mean? That he was embarrassed, and there was a rip in their friendship that seemed to damage their everyday rapport? That realization caused a sharp pang to her chest on par with losing that duel. Therefore, she decided to believe him, at least for her own sake.
"Well," she responded, "I need you to snap out of it, because I need my best friend right now."
Garreth noticeably softened. He began to open his arms, and without any hesitation Maeve accepted his embrace. The two had hugged before, of course, but those were primarily quick hugs when returning to Hogwarts after breaks, or more dramatic like yesterday’s waterworks. This was different. Her head rested on his chest, and she felt her own heartbeat slow as she listened to his. His chin rested on top of her head, and his arms rested firmly around her waist. The two of them remained like that for, maybe ten seconds? Twenty? Five minutes? Who knows, but neither of them minded.
The comfortable position they found themselves in was effective in allowing Maeve to feel okay being vulnerable for once. "You know better than anyone how much this tournament meant to me." She said quietly.
"I know."
"I can't believe I didn't win. But I can't say that to anybody else, of course, because it would be poor sportsmanship. Merlin knows I already displayed enough poor sportsmanship on the pitch."
His arms tightened around her, and Maeve was surprised how that slight action alone could bring her so much comfort. "You really deserved it. I mean seriously, you're the best dueler I've ever seen. But, if you ever criticize how you acted after that duel again, I'm going sneak a potion that turns your hair bright purple into your morning tea." He said. They finally stepped apart, and he added, "Nobody thought anything of your reaction besides you, and I'm very absorbent, so no damage done."
Maeve couldn’t help but mirror Garreth's smile, heart swelling at finally feeling like things were fine with him for the first time since the duel. "I would look quite nice with purple hair though, don't you think?"
"Look, you would look good with any hair color, but I've got to threaten something! It's not like I can challenge you to a duel, you would Flipendo my arse into next Tuesday."
"Who knows, apparently anybody can beat me nowadays." Maeve said.
It was just a joke, but it brought Garreth back to a serious place. He placed his hands on her shoulders, his grip tight but not uncomfortable, and lowered his head slightly to better make eye contact with her. "You really deserved to win, Maeve."
She found herself looking into his eyes with greater intensity than she had before. They were green. Not like the grass on the Quidditch pitch, but more like the moss on a rock near the Black Lake when the two of them would go to collect leech juice. She found herself following a constellation of brown flecks, and felt disarmed."Thank you, Garreth."
"I don't call you 'champ' for nothing." He smiled again. She wondered if his smile had the same uplifting effect on everyone, or if it was designed to specifically captivate her.
He shifted his attention suddenly to ingredient jars on Sharp's shelf. His brows furrowed only slightly, but it was enough to tell Maeve he was focused on something. She had watched him pour over his notebook of potion ideas enough times to recognize this expression. "Miss Delaney, what would you say if I proposed a trip to the Restricted Section to help clear your mind?"
"I would say that I very much look forward to sitting in detention with you."