Chapter 8
November 3rd 1976
Dorcas Meadowes
Marlene didn’t remember what she did the night of the party. If she does, she did a good job of hiding it from Dorcas. The day after when they went to take care of their Salamander, McKinnon made it clear to Dorcas she still had the same hatred for her.
She was grateful she didn’t remember. The little peace she still has away from the girl would certainly lessen if she did remember and chose to bring it up.
Though Dorcas can’t stop thinking about it. A little part of her wished the girl did remember and they could be that close to each other again. Marlene’s soft hand on her cheek once again. She longed to feel that touch once more. Feel the warmth in her chest when Marlene rubs her thumb against her cheek.
There hasn’t been a single moment since it happened that she hasn’t thought about it. She is sure McKinnon meant it too. She was drunk, very drunk but she wouldn’t say that to her rival enemy since they were eleven if she didn’t actually think that. Right?
Or maybe this was another prank to mess with Dorcas’ mind but then how would McKinnon know that would work on her. She has no idea how Dorcas really feels about her.
At the end of every day she concludes that she has no idea why McKinnon said what she said but every morning after, she goes through all of it once more. If she could remember her dreams, she’s sure she’s dreaming about it too.
She wants to talk about it with Pandora but she is never without Lily anymore. They kissed the night of the party, Pandora told her. Since then, one is never without the other. Lily joins them in the Astronomy Tower but she leaves just before curfew which causes Pandora to leave as well to walk with her to the Gryffindor common room.
Talking about Marlene just seems wrong with her best friend sitting right next to her. She doesn’t want Lily to know how she truly feels about McKinnon either. Lily could tell Marlene and that’s the last thing Dorcas wants.
So she’s been talking about it to Remus. He does the same but about Sirius. Neither of them are very open people and certainly not keen to share anything about themselves with other people. Their conversations are limited and they’re okay with that.
She hates to admit it to herself but Lupin has become a genuine friend to her. They understand each other in ways that their other friends don’t. She can’t quite point out what it is but she feels a certain connection to the boy and she’s grown to care so much for him.
Since the party they spend a lot more time together. Either at the library, the astronomy tower or even just walking around the grounds together talking, or in silence. It’s never awkward with him, it’s always comfortable whether they have things to share with each other or they don’t.
“I talked to Sirius.” Remus says out of nowhere. They had been sitting in silence by the lake killing a bit of time until Dorcas has to meet McKinnon in the Forbidden Forest.
She brings her focus from the view of the lake to Remus. She doesn’t say anything. Remus knows how she feels about Sirius Black, which is nothing positive. She’d rather have Remus not talking to Sirius because she cares about him and Sirius really doesn’t seem the best company. But she knows how Remus feels about him so to tell him how awful she finds him is just cruel.
“I told him I can’t forgive him.” He says next knowing what Dorcas’ silence means. “But I said I’m willing to try so he’s moving back into our dorm room as of today.” He doesn’t seem all too thrilled about that fact but she does sense a bit of a smile on his face.
“That’s good?” Dorcas asks, not entirely sure what to respond to that.
“It’s a start.” Remus has been talking more about Sirius and how he feels about it. He’s still incredibly hurt but he might miss him even more. “It’s his birthday today.” Remus tells her though Dorcas doesn’t know what to do with that information.
His birthday doesn’t seem like a good enough excuse to start making up, she doesn’t tell Remus that though. All Dorcas can do is hope Sirius doesn’t break Remus’ heart again or he won’t be the first Black brother she has a word with for one of her friends.
November 6th 1976
Marlene McKinnon
The entirety of her time at Hogwarts Marlene has hated Meadowes. Even just the thought of her makes her blood boil. She always has to prove she’s better than Marlene and shoves it in her face every time she is, which is more than she likes to admit.
When it comes to Care of Magical Creatures she knows more than Meadowes ever could and still she beats her every time and it makes her so infuriatingly angry.
Because they are who they are, they compete over Newt as well. Making him choose to go to one or the other, he went to Meadowes. Making him eat a lacewing fly out of their hands, he ate Meadowes’ first, only then going after the one in Marlene’s hand.
Even with writing the essays they have to turn in weekly, Meadowes does quicker and better than Marlene. She knows this subject better than anyone else in the school, how is it that she still can’t beat Meadowes once.
“You’re late again.” Dorcas says without looking up at Marlene who just entered Newt’s living space.
She absolutely loves it here. When Dorcas leaves, she usually stays a bit longer to make Newt’s home even more enjoyable for him. She has caught fireflies in glass bottles to surround the area with cute little lights. At first Newt tried to eat them but he quickly realised it wasn’t going to be possible to break through the glass no matter how strong he could be with his tongue.
She wishes her time wouldn’t end with Newt in 2 months already though she is eager to not be working with Meadowes anymore.
Dorcas has been different the past week. She never looks at Marlene directly and she doesn’t engage in any conversations. Most of the time, when they’re here, she doesn’t speak a word to McKinnon unless it has to do with Newt.
“Only five minutes.” She says, annoyed. She drops her bag to the floor and searches for Newt but she doesn’t find him anywhere. “Where’s Newt?” She looks at Dorcas again who still has her eyes glued to whatever she’s writing down.
She points to the door, not bothering to say anything or even look up. Marlene rolls her eyes at Dorcas’ behavior towards her lately and then turns her head to see the door still wide open.
“Shit.” She says quietly with her first thought being that Meadowes is going to murder her. Dorcas looks up at that for the first time and then notices the door still open as well and she jumps up.
“McKinnon, you fucking idiot!” Dorcas exclames. She runs out and Marlene follows her. “He could be anywhere in this giant forest.” She sounds furious which is fair, Marlene supposes. She wouldn’t be happy either if Meadowes did it.
"Do you have one working brain cell in that head of yours or is it completely empty in there?" Meadowes expresses her anger towards her as she searches around the area but Dorcas is right, finding such a small creature that can run quite fast in such a big forest is impossible. Not worth it to even try, really.
"I thought I closed it." She says scratching her head with her fingers to think back if she actually closed it or not. It doesn’t really matter though, they need to find Newt. Even though it is like finding a needle in a haystack, she's going to find Newt. She needs to.
She remembers reading something about tracking Fire-Dwelling-Salamanders but she can't remember exactly what it says now.
"I'll find him. You stay here and stay useless." Meadowes says and walks deeper into the forest to find Newt.
"Wait, I'll find him." She says as she runs after her but Meadowes keeps on walking without another word. "I read about it. I wrote it in my journal."
Dorcas stops walking, making Marlene run into her back as she keeps walking behind Meadowes looking down at the ground trying to remember anything on how to find Newt.
Marlene stumbles back and Dorcas turns around with no sense of emotion on her face. Oh she's really pissed.
"Where's your journal?" She asks coldly.
"In my bag." Marlene answers.
“I’m not going back.” She says turning back around and continues walking.
"Hey fuck you Meadowes! I didn't mean for this to happen."
"And yet you did make it happen." Dorcas says still no emotion in her tone. Marlene hates it when Meadowes talks like this to her. She wants Dorcas to yell at her, be mad at her. But this cold Dorcas that Marlene has been seeing more and more of is unsettling and it scares her a little.
Meadowes has always been cold towards Marlene, towards everyone really, but it feels different lately. As if she is the entire reason why she's acting like this. Why she goes from incredibly angry to ice cold like she doesn't have a single emotion running through her body in a blink of an eye.
She's never been scared of Meadowes. Why would she be? But the way she is speaking to her now makes her want to crawl out of her skin and run the opposite direction. That is, if she can still run after crawling out of her skin.
"Can you stop walking deeper into the forest!" Marlene yells at Dorcas. "We need to look around! There's no point in searching for him if we don't know which direction he went to."
"I know." She answers but keeps walking.
"Then how do you know you're going in the right direction?" Marlene asks as she looks around her as they keep walking at a pretty fast pace. She doesn't notice anything to indicate where Newt went.
"Because unlike you, I do have several working brain cells."
"I'm not fucking stupid, Meadowes."
"Be quiet." She says and stops walking with an instant making Marlene run into her back once again.
"Can you stop doing that?" Marlene exclaims as she stumbles back again. She's fast met with a hand thrown on her mouth.
She struggles a bit until she looks at Dorcas' eyes while her hand is on her mouth, she doesn't know why but looking into those eyes makes her stop struggling. They are beautiful eyes, she thinks but she removes the thought from her mind instantly.
"I said be quiet." Dorcas hisses and Marlene can't help but do what she is told. She doesn't ask why, she just stays quiet.
Meadowes removes her hand from Marlene and turns back around to look at what caused the sudden need to be quiet. Marlene walks a few steps closer to Dorcas so she could see the same.
"It's a Manticore." Marlene says quietly and tries to step closer towards the magnificent beast. Meadowes holds her back by her shoulder to not let go her any closer though she wiggles herself free and steps closer anyway. She never thought she'd see a Manticore in real life.
The beast is trapped under a tree that must have fallen on top of her. Marlene wants to help her but she knows Meadowes wouldn't stand for it.
"What's she doing here, we can't be that deep into the forest yet?" Marlene asks mostly to herself though Dorcas answers her which she doesn't expect.
"No idea, but let's go before it gets free from that tree." Meadowes says already turning back.
"We have to help her, she could die." Marlene says. She doesn't care that Meadowes doesn't have the heart to help a creature in need.
"We could die if we help her." Dorcas says grabbing her shoulder which she struggles free from again and steps even closer towards the Manticore.
The Manticore stirs, sensing their presence and looks directly at Marlene before it roars loudly, making her squeeze her eyes and cover her ears.
"McKinnon, you have your whole life to be stupid. This thing will kill you and devour you." She hears Meadowes say from behind her. Though this will be the only time she sees a real Manticore. She needs to at least look at her.
"She's beautiful." Marlene says as if she's in a trance. She loves creatures, all kinds of animals really.
Her whole life she has loved animals. As a kid she would bring anything that moves home and take care of them, learn about them, draw them. Oh she wishes she had her journal with her so she could draw this beautiful creature that’s lying on the ground right in front of her.
She looks sad to Marlene. Of course she is, she is stuck under a tree with no one to help. She knows if she helps her get free, she will immediately sting her with her scorpion-like tail killing her instantly and then have her for dinner. But she is really tempted to do it anyway.
She walks even closer so she can almost pet her. Dorcas stays a few steps behind. The manticore whimpers like she’s in pain and it makes Marlene sit down in front of it’s head. The tale is on the other side of the tree so there’s no way the manticore can sting her now. It could still bite her if she gets too close to the mouth but it seems unlikely to Marlene since the creature must be in a lot of pain right now.
“We can lift the tree and run.” Marlene says turning to look at Dorcas who’s standing further away than Marlene thought she was. “She’s probably injured so she can’t follow us for too long.”
“No.” Is the only response Meadowes has for her.
“We can’t leave her like this.” Marlene says getting up and walking towards Dorcas who’s too scared to step closer.
“I can.” She says turning around and walking away.
“I’ll do it myself then.” Marlene says taking out her wand out of her pocket and faces the manticore again.
She takes a deep breath and readies herself to cast a levitation charm. “Wingardiu-.” She starts but is interrupted by her wand flying out of her hand.
She turns around to find Meadowes caught her wand. “Give me back my wand.” She says furiously.
“You’re not letting that thing loose.” Dorcas says.
“She’s hurt.” Marlene says as if that would convince Dorcas to let her do it anyway.
“She’ll hurt you!” Dorcas yells as if trying to shove some sense into Marlene. Marlene stays quiet for a second and notices Dorcas seems worried.
“Why do you care?” She asks next which makes Dorcas jump back to her cold expression refusing to show another drop of emotion.
“I don’t.” She says, turns around and starts walking again.
“Give me my wand.” Marlene says again catching up to Dorcas.
“Later.” She says and puts the wand in her own pocket.
“It’s my wand, Meadowes.” Marlene demands. Dorcas ignores her and just keeps walking further and further away from the manticore. Marlene can’t help but follow. She can’t lift that tree without her wand. There’s no way she can push it by herself and if she could, the manticore could sting her instantly.
When they’ve reached a point where even Marlene isn’t quite sure how to get back to the manticore, Dorcas stops walking. She looks around the trees and the leaves on the floor. Marlene isn’t sure what exactly she’s doing but doesn’t say anything since her mind is still set on helping the manticore and she doesn’t care whatever Dorcas is doing right now.
“This way.” She says and continues walking. Marlene follows.
“Where are we going?” Marlene asks, confused for a second. The whole encounter with the Manticore made her forget what they’re doing deep into the forest in the first place.
“The salamander you let escape.”
“I still didn’t mean for that to happen.” Marlene says in her own defence once more. “Do you think that Manticore will be okay?” She asks turning back for just a glance but she’s nowhere in sight anymore.
“Don’t know, don’t care.” Dorcas answers.
“Heartless.” She says imitating Dorcas’ tone, making fun of her. She doesn’t react to it though.
“Brainless.” Marlene sighs. Insulting Meadowes isn't nearly as fun if she doesn't show any emotion at all. They hate each other but that means something doesn't it? But now it seems like Marlene doesn't mean anything to her. The thought of that makes her sad.
They don’t share another word between the two of them. Marlene doesn’t like the silence. She starts kicking the leaves on the ground and looks down at them as she whistles one of her favourite songs to bring some noise back. She notices tiny burned holes in the leaves as she keeps going through the piles of leaves on the ground.
And then it clicks. Meadowes has been tracking Newt by following the slight burn marks he leaves behind from his flames. Of course, she knew that. Why didn't she think of that? She should have known this.
Meadowes knew. She bested her once again. Though this time she isn't rubbing it in her face. She's just silent and cold. She doesn't like it. She secretly prefers being called an idiot than whatever Meadowes is doing now.
"I really hate you, Meadowes." She says without thinking but she feels like she has to announce it.
"Feeling is mutual, McKinnon." And for some reason, hearing that makes Marlene smile which she is glad Dorcas can’t see.
They continue walking in silence but Marlene doesn’t mind as much anymore. She needed some kind of confirmation that Dorcas still had some feelings for her. Yes it’s hatred but that’s the only thing she wants from her. Dorcas being cold to her like this feels like she’s losing her rival but hearing Meadowes say that she still hates her just as much is comforting to Marlene.
Dorcas Meadowes
They ended up finding the salamander by a fire that he created. He must have been scared of something since a salamander doesn’t usually burn down trees and bushes. They don’t know what exactly scared him since there was nothing there when they got there besides a huge fire bringing down trees.
They grabbed the salamander quickly and ran back towards the habitat so they wouldn’t get hit by any falling burning trees.
Marlene didn’t say a word as they were returning as if the guilt finally hit her when seeing her precious Newt all scared and alone surrounded by fire.
Even back in the habitat, Marlene says nothing and just follows Dorcas with her eyes as she’s making sure that the salamander is all alright and didn’t get injured during his brief time in the open.
By now it’s close to curfew but neither Marlene or Dorcas seem to be in a hurry to get back to the castle.
This assignment has been proven more difficult than Dorcas thought it would be. She has grown to care for the little salamander and she was genuinely scared for him. Leaving him now is not an option for her. She wants to stay with him, at least for a while, to make sure he is completely fine.
She feeds him some lacewing flies as Marlene sits further away against a tree in complete silence. Dorcas doesn’t feel bad for her. She should feel guilty. She put them and the salamander in danger by leaving that door open. Which is an honest mistake, it could have happened to anyone but still she couldn’t look directly into Marlene’s direction without feeling angry.
And she had the nerve to suggest to help the manticore. McKinnon should feel grateful to Dorcas for stopping her and taking her wand which she gave back when they returned. They would have been both in the manticore’s stomach by now if she didn’t.
“Is he okay?” Marlene suddenly asks, taking away the quietness they’ve been in for a while now.
“No thanks to you.” Dorcas replies without even glancing at the girl though she hears her sigh of relief. Dorcas knows Marlene didn’t mean for this to happen, she has told her that enough over the past hours. She knows Marlene cares more about this creature than she does.
It’s not hard to care more than Dorcas but Dorcas didn’t let him run around free in the forbidden forest without being able to. Newt has been raised in captivity, he wouldn’t survive in the wild.
“I’m gonna stay tonight to make sure he’s completely fine.” Dorcas decides, standing up and finally facing McKinnon. “You can leave.”
“No, I’ll stay too.” Marlene says standing up as well.
“Haven’t you done enough?”
“Please let me stay, I-.” She hesitates to finish that sentence. “I feel bad, let me at least try to make it up.”
Dorcas sighs, she doesn’t want to spend the entire night with McKinnon but there’s no way she’s letting her stay here alone with him and getting her to leave won’t be so easy either.
“Fine.” She says and sits down against a tree while McKinnon smiles slightly and sits back down against the tree she was sitting against earlier.
They stay silent for a while as Dorcas doesn’t let her eyes leave the salamander as he is settling down to sleep. She feels McKinnon’s eyes burn on her. She feels tempted to turn her head and look at McKinnon but she fights all urges against it.
“I know how you figured out how to find Newt.” McKinnon says eventually.
“You just figured it out?” Dorcas asks and chuckles. Dorcas didn’t doubt herself in thinking Marlene is stupid but she made it out to be like she knew everything about Magical Creatures, clearly she doesn’t.
“Well I figured it out a bit after the manticore.” Marlene says. “You didn’t-” She starts but doesn’t finish her sentence.
“I didn’t, what?” She asks when McKinnon stays quiet for too long.
“Nevermind.” McKinnon says but Dorcas still feels her eyes on her like it’s burning through her. She briefly wonders what McKinnon meant but she drops it as she is eager to just sit in silence so she won’t continue the conversation if she doesn’t need to.
Neither of them seem to have any plans to leave anytime soon. Dorcas certainly wouldn’t leave McKinnon alone with him after everything and Marlene probably feels too guilty to leave Dorcas here alone.
So as time passes, Dorcas makes her peace with sleeping against the tree. Her back won’t thank her for that but she doesn’t even care. She isn’t really in the mood to walk all the way back to the castle and sneak around to get to the dungeons unnoticed anyway.
Dorcas wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s still dark. She doesn’t know what time it is but she does know she is still in the forbidden forest. She looks to her right to find Marlene also still here.
She fell asleep with her notebook open in her lab. Dorcas figures she must have wanted to draw the manticore while it was still fresh in her brain. Marlene often draws creatures when they’re here together as Dorcas would entertain Newt.
Dorcas is the kind of person who can’t fall back asleep once she’s awake so she gets up from where she slept on the cold, hard floor against a tree. She grabs a piece of parchment from her bag and quickly scrabbles something on it for Marlene when she wakes up.
She takes a final look at the salamander who also seemed to be sound asleep and then she walks over to Marlene.
As she gets closer she notices that McKinnon wasn’t drawing the manticore, or not even Newt. No, Dorcas was looking down at a drawn picture of herself. Marlene was drawing her when she was sleeping. She doesn’t know whether to find that sweet or just plain creepy.
It doesn’t look finished but it looks amazing, Dorcas thinks. She picks up the notebook to look at it more closely. She flips through the pages though on all other pages there are only creatures. None of her friends or anything. Only creatures and now one of Dorcas.
She shifts her eyes between the picture and Marlene. Why did she draw Dorcas? She feels tingles in her stomach as she thinks about it. She shakes her head. No she can’t be thinking about that now. Frankly, she is still mad at McKinnon so she lays the notebook back on McKinnon’s lap just like it was with the drawing of her open and she drops the note on top of it which reads, ‘Close the door when you leave.’