Chapter 6
October 12th 1976
Slytherin won the game against Hufflepuff. The game went on for a long time before anything happened. Neither team was able to score a goal in the first 30 minutes. Dorcas had no issue blocking all their attempts. Her chasers, however, were still not keen to work together.
Mallory was following Avery and Vance around but she never got the quaffle passed to her by either of her teammates.
The match was dragging out. The snitch wasn’t anywhere to be seen. They needed to score some goals and get ahead before it had.
Avery was approaching the other team’s goalposts taking another attempt to score a goal but most likely to fail once again. If Avery would pass the quaffle to Mallory, Dorcas was sure they would finally get somewhere.
A Hufflepuff beater slammed his bat on a bludger heading right in Avery’s direction causing Avery to swerve away and lose his chance to score. Before the Hufflepuff chasers could take the quaffle from him, Avery surprisingly passed it to Mallory.
She was surprised to find the quaffle in her hands but she flew into action immediately and very smoothly, she scored the first goal of the match.
After that they started playing more in sync with each other and all of them scored quite a few goals, while the Hufflepuff team still couldn’t get past Dorcas.
Regulus ended up catching the snitch a little under 2 hours into the match, causing the game to end with a score of 260-0, giving them a big lead for the Quidditch Cup.
The Slytherins had a huge victory party in the common room but Dorcas didn’t enjoy parties so she congratulated her teammates and left to go to the Astronomy Tower where she was meeting Pandora.
Remus wasn’t there which Dorcas found strange since he wasn’t there the day before either. He had missed a day or two in the beginning of this thing they started but Dorcas didn’t think much of it. But now a month after Remus joining Dorcas every night, she found it oddly disappointing. She has come to enjoy his company more than she ever thought she would.
Last week, in Care of Magical Creatures, Marlene and Dorcas got their Fire-Dwelling-Salamander. Marlene was overly excited. Dorcas was a little excited too but she wouldn’t give that satisfaction to McKinnon. She’d rather have her think she doesn’t care about the whole assignment at all. It made it easier to be around Marlene for reasons she doesn’t like to think about.
When Dorcas saw the salamander for the first time, she was captured by his beautiful smooth skin and flames. He’s a red salamander which isn’t anything unusual but his flames were all white except for a little hint of yellow but it still stands out around all the white.
Marlene was quick to tell her that it means he was close to being a variant, called a Frost Salamander. Which, according to her, is very rare. Dorcas never thought she’d think this of Marlene McKinnon of all people but she was starting to sound like a know-it-all in this class and she didn’t know whether to be annoyed or impressed.
“I figured out a name!” Marlene says, bursting into the habitat they made for the salamander. With Kettleburn’s help they surrounded the Salamander’s habitat with a sort of fence so it’s more secluded and it won’t be disturbed by anyone other than the two girls.
“What?” Dorcas sighs knowing the answer she’ll get from the girl will be absurd.
“Newt.” Marlene says, more excited than Dorcas has ever seen her though she was correct when she thought Marlene’s name choice would be ridiculous.
“It’s a salamander, not a newt.” Dorcas says pointing out the obvious.
“He’s also not an ‘it’.” She argues back.
“Why name it anyway?” She asks accentuating it to irritate Marlene further. Dorcas is aware of the salamander's gender but it frustrates McKinnon and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy causing that.
“He’s a living being, he deserves a name!” Marlene says standing up for the creature.
“You name it whatever you want, I’ll stick with salamander.” She tells McKinnon which earns her an annoyed sigh from the girl.
“Can you at least pretend to have a heart?” Marlene drops her bag down to go closer to the salamander and inspect how he’s doing.
Dorcas has already been here for 10 minutes so she has obviously done that already. Once again, Marlene was late.
“His flames seem to be dying out a bit.” Marlene says picking him up after putting on some gloves so she won’t burn her hands from the fire.
“I just fed it, the fire dies down after it ate.” Dorcas says. Marlene rolls her eyes.
“I know that.” She says, defensively. “Did you feed him pepper too?”
“No, since you were supposed to take care of that.” Dorcas says, hoping for once Marlene actually came prepared instead of just being here to coddle him.
“Yeah about that, I was going to get some from the kitchens but I ran into some trouble.”
“You’re entirely useless.” She says shaking her head and placing her hand on her head as if she has a headache. “I’ll get it.” She is about to head out until Marlene stops her.
“You might not want to do that.” McKinnon says as if she is to blame for whatever the reason is that Dorcas can’t go to the kitchens right now. She looks at Marlene waiting for a proper answer as to why. “Since there might have exploded a couple of dungbombs outside the kitchens.”
“And let me guess, you and your friends are responsible?” Dorcas asks and Marlene goes quiet which gives her the confirmation.
“Well if ‘Newt’s’ flames go out and dies, it’s on you.” She says, mocking Marlene’s name choice once more and she leaves the girl in the habitat alone with the problem she caused.
How will Dorcas ever get through the next 3 months if Marlene isn’t even going to try to do well with this assignment. She hoped, since McKinnon is so surprisingly interested in the subject, that she’d actually put in the work for this one but she should have expected this. Marlene McKinnon will never take anything seriously.
Dorcas goes straight to the Herbology greenhouses where she can hopefully take a spliff from Pandora’s secret stash she has hidden there. Pandora wouldn’t mind Dorcas taking one, she’d give it to Dorcas if she asked but she couldn’t bother with finding the girl first before being able to smoke it.
When she gets there, she’s surprised to find Remus smoking a spliff right next to where Pandora keeps her stash.
“Nice to see you here Lupin.” Dorcas says and Remus looks up at Dorcas. “One of Pandora’s?” She asks, pointing at the spliff between his fingers.
“Oh yeah, she said I could take one.” Remus says as Dorcas sits down besides him and takes the spliff out of his hand to take a drag from it as well.
“Everything okay?” She asks since Remus seemed to be a bit down and Dorcas was happy to take her mind off of Marlene.
“Just my friends being idiots.” He says.
“So nothing new?” She says, Remus smiles slightly in response but it doesn’t hold much sincerity. “Missed seeing you in the Astronomy Tower for a couple of days.”
“Yeah, I was ill. I’ll be there tonight again though.” Remus says, sounding like he’s really out of it. Whatever is bothering him, it doesn’t seem like he wants to talk about it so Dorcas doesn’t push it.
After a couple of seconds of silence, Remus breaks it. “Can I ask you something?” Dorcas looks at him and nods for him to continue.
“Why don’t you ‘do friends’?” He asks, referring to what Dorcas once told Remus in the Astronomy Tower.
“It’s easier.” Dorcas answers like it’s the simplest answer she’s ever had to give anyone.
“Yeah.” Remus says in a low voice as if he’s thinking of something in particular.
“Does this have something to do with the dungbombs McKinnon set off outside the kitchens?” She asks. Remus seems to be upset about one of his friends so it seems to Dorcas that it could be related since it just happened.
“Marlene didn’t set those off, it was Sirius and it was meant for the Slytherin common room.” Remus says.
“Oh.” Dorcas doesn’t know what to say. If McKinnon didn’t set off those dungbombs then she was just there to get the pepper, though why didn’t she say that to Dorcas? Still Dorcas thinks she could have gone to the kitchens, she was near it already she’d just have to stay in the horrible smell a little longer.
“Why are you upset about it, don’t you pull pranks all the time with your marauder friends?” Dorcas asks after a few seconds of neither of them talking.
“Well, ‘The Marauders’ broke up, you could say.” Remus says followed by a sad chuckle.
“Why?” She asks. Dorcas doesn’t know why she cares. She couldn’t care less what happens between the Gryffindor friendships but she has grown to care for Lupin and seeing him upset makes her want to know what caused it.
“It’s very complicated. I-” He starts but hesitates and looks into Dorcas’ eyes for a good second before he decides to trust her. “I trusted Sirius with a secret, well almost all my friends know it but Sirius.” He stays silent looking down at his hands and Dorcas lets him take his time. “He spilled my secret to Snape at the end of last year.” Remus didn’t seem to want to share what that secret was so Dorcas doesn’t ask for it. “Now everything is a mess.”
Part of Dorcas wishes she didn’t come down here, she’s not good with comforting people. Her entire life she has avoided emotions altogether for the most part. Instead of saying anything she just sits and listens.
“He’s faced consequences and he has apologised more than I could count but I can’t seem to be able to forgive him.”
“Is this why he isn’t on the Quidditch team anymore?” Dorcas asks, Remus nods his head. She wonders what Sirius could have told Snape to get himself kicked off the Quidditch team. She isn’t going to ask though. “You shouldn’t forgive him if he doesn’t deserve it.”
“That’s what James said but he seems ready to forgive him, he misses his best friend and I can see that but they don’t talk because of me.” Remus says.
“Would it bother you if Potter forgave him?” Dorcas asks not really sure how to go at this the best way.
“No, Sirius didn’t spill his secrets.” He replies. There must be something more to it than just the secret, Dorcas figures. To her, Sirius doesn’t deserve to be forgiven and she would never if she was in Remus’ situation but there seemed to be going on more than what Remus is telling her.
To her recollection, the secret hasn’t been spilled around the whole school or she would know about it so whatever Sirius told Snape, he kept his mouth shut. Snape hates the Gryffindors even more than she does, she would think Snape would do anything to have a chance at ruining the rest of their years at Hogwarts. So why didn’t he?
Sirius being off the Quidditch team means the teachers know about it too, at least McGonagall does. They probably got Snape to stay quiet as well. For teachers to be involved it must be a very serious case. What could Remus be hiding that could be so horrible if it got out?
“Do you want to forgive him?” She asks. Remus stares in front of him looking for the right answer.
“I do.” He says as he lets out a big sigh. “I miss him too, I just don’t know how I can ever trust him again.” Dorcas has never seen anyone as hurt as Remus. This entire year he’s appeared sadder than Moaning Myrtle but without the moaning and crying.
Dorcas isn’t an expert on friendships or relationships. The only friend she’s ever had is Pandora and she’s fairly certain Pandora would never betray her like that so she can’t know how she’d feel in Remus’ situation but for him to be this upset it suggests to Dorcas that Sirius might mean more to him than just one of his friends he pulls pranks with around school.
“He’s important to you.” Dorcas states as a fact. Remus looks at her and nods sadly understanding what she is implying. “For what it’s worth, I think you deserve better than him.” She bumps her shoulder against Remus’ which earns her a small chuckle from him.
They finish the rest of the spliff in silence with neither of them knowing what else to say. Dorcas performs a simple charm to get rid of the smell and they leave together heading towards the charms classrooms.
They part ways when entering the classroom since they sit at opposite sides. Dorcas sits down in the same seat she’s been sitting at since first year. She watches Remus do the same, which unlucky for him is right next to Sirius.
All this time in the Astronomy Tower with Remus, she has already realised something was going on between them but she couldn’t figure out what. Remus, like Dorcas, doesn’t talk much about himself. She notices the way Sirius is looking at Remus with a lot of guilt written on his face, Remus refuses to even glance at the boy as he already got out his charms textbook and has his eyes glued to the pages.
A few seats to their right, her eyes land on McKinnon out of habit of looking at the girl during every class. She found Marlene looking at her and Remus back and forth curiously. Marlene shot her a nasty look as if Dorcas was betraying her by looking at Remus instead of her.
October 28th 1976
The last person Dorcas thought she would be spending most of her time with this year was Marlene McKinnon. Taking care of a magical creature is an everyday task, much to Dorcas’ disappointment.
Every evening after dinner they go down to the forest to spend time with the salamander, check if he’s healthy, feed him and everything else a salamander needs. She doesn’t mind doing it by herself. She actually would enjoy it, if it weren’t for the girl she had to do it with.
“Meadowes, look.” McKinnon says. Dorcas is sitting down against a tree, writing down notes about their salamander. Marlene didn’t need to call for her attention since she couldn’t take her eyes off the girl no matter how much she wanted to. It’s like her stare is glued on her.
Marlene is casting red sparks around the salamander as he jumps and tries to catch them before they disappear. Marlene is giggling as she casts sparks further away from him and he runs after it.
“He’s so cute.” Marlene says through her chuckles. Dorcas can only think about how cute Marlene is. “Isn’t he cute?” She asks, looking at Dorcas and she feels like she stopped breathing. Marlene is smiling at her, not a stare full of hatred.
To Dorcas, it feels like time has stopped, captured in Marlene’s gaze. She wishes the girl would look at her like that for eternity. Though it doesn’t take long before her smile is replaced by a look of confusion.
“Why is your quill floating?” Marlene asks curiously which makes Dorcas snap out of her thoughts and her quill drops down to the floor at the same time. “That was strange, did you make that float?”
“Did you see me holding my wand?” Dorcas asks sarcastically and finally her body allows herself to look away from McKinnon. She gathers her things together and stuffs them into her bag and gets up from the ground. “I have to go.” She says like she is in a hurry and heads out walking back to the castle.
She doesn’t really have anywhere to go since it’s too early to go to the Astronomy Tower and her dorm room is most likely occupied. But anywhere is better than another minute around McKinnon.
Controlling her magic has become tough while working together with Marlene. She hasn’t ever had an issue with hiding her emotions so accidental magic wouldn’t happen but McKinnon brings it out of her.
When they started, Dorcas thought the hardest part would be dealing with Marlene’s obnoxiousness but watching the girl take care of their creature with such softness, it makes her forget why she must hate her. She can’t help but wonder how it would feel if Marlene treated her that way.
Dorcas heads up to the Astronomy Tower anyway hoping no one would be there. When she gets there, she finds she won’t be alone.
“You’re early.” Pandora says when she notices Dorcas entering the room.
“Yeah, McKinnon is going to be the death of me.” She says, actually relieved that Pandora is here so she can share her frustrations with her. Though when Dorcas turns the corner she sees Lily sitting against the wall as well. How has her life become so full of Gryffindors?
Pandora and Lily look at Dorcas as if they’re waiting for her to say that Lily has to go. She doesn’t own the place so she doesn’t and just drops her bag to the floor and sits down next to her best friend.
Dorcas feels weird to continue to complain about Marlene when her best friend is sitting right next to them. So it takes her a little by surprise when Lily continues the conversation.
“She’s not all bad.” Lily says standing up for her friend.
“She’s the worst.” Dorcas replies. Lily and Dorcas have hung out a few times but they never really talked much to each other. Pandora and Lily usually sit together in the library now so Dorcas joins them when she’s there at the same time. Remus joins them as well sometimes.
Lily laughs and says, “You sound just like her.” Which makes Pandora snort out a laugh as well.
“I don’t.” Dorcas says, a little confused. How does she sound like Marlene?
“You know, Marlene complains about you nearly every night.” Lily says like she’s exhausted from unnecessary drama. It doesn’t surprise Dorcas but it does make her wonder what sort of things she tells Lily about her, what does she complain about? Dorcas wants to ask but fights all urges to do so. The last thing she wants is for Marlene’s best friend to know that she fancies her.
“So?” Dorcas asks confused as if that means anything other than they hate each other.
“I’m just saying.” Is Lily insinuating that she knows Dorcas likes Marlene or is she reading too much into it? She looks at Pandora for answers but she looks just as confused as she is. “I have to go.” She says as she gets up.
“No, don’t go.” Pandora whines, grabbing Lily’s hand to pull her back down. Dorcas silently curses at her to let Lily go, she’s had enough of Gryffindors being everywhere she is.
“I’d love to stay but I have prefect patrol until curfew.” Lily says though she doesn’t let go of Pandora’s hand.
“But I’m, I mean, we are more fun.” She says pointing to Dorcas and herself. Though Dorcas may as well be invisible the way the girls are looking at each other as if they want to spend every second of the day together holding each other.
“You are, but I really have to go.” She says once again and stands back up letting go of Pandora’s hands. “I’ll see you at the party tomorrow right?”
“Definitely.” She says and smiles and Lily returns one back to her.
“Bye.” She says to Pandora and nods her head at Dorcas to not completely exclude her from the interaction. Lily leaves and Pandora’s eyes only leave the door when it’s fully closed.
“I think I’m in love with her.” Pandora says, still smiling.
“Really?” Dorcas says sarcastically though the sarcasm goes right over Pandora’s head.
“Yeah, she’s just so pretty and I don’t ever want to not be with her.” Pandora says.
“I’ve noticed.” Dorcas says.
“Do you think she likes me too?”
“Are you kidding?” Dorcas laughs. “You’d think you were already together by the way you two act around each other.”
“Really?” Pandora asks genuinely. “It just seems she’s being nice.”
“Have you seen her act like that with her other friends?”
“Well no but-” She begins but is interrupted when the door to the Astronomy Tower opens once again and Remus enters.
“Ah Lupin, you can confirm.” Dorcas says. Remus sits down where he usually sits.
“Confirm what?” He asks, sitting down opposite of them.
“That Lily likes Pandora.” Pandora slaps Dorcas on her arm as if she revealed a big secret but obviously Remus already knew this because he too has eyes.
“Without a doubt.” He states.
“Really?” Pandora asks, still unsure.
She thinks it’s funny that Pandora is so oblivious about the whole thing. Anyone in the school could guess they were already girlfriends if they saw the girls around the halls. Just by the way they would look at each other, you’d think they have been dating for a while.
“Yes, Dora, really.” She says and Pandora looks down at her hands that are fidgeting and she smiles.
“So what do I do now?” She asks them though neither of them have a good answer for that.
“You ask her out, tomorrow at the party.” Remus decides on after a few seconds of both of them thinking.
“What’s this party?” Dorcas asks. She was wondering before what Lily meant by a party but she didn’t want to interrupt.
“Gryffindor Halloween party.” Remus replies. “You should come too.”
“No thank you.” She says, raising her eyebrows. Dorcas wouldn’t go to any party, but a Gryffindor party is the absolute last thing she’d want to go to.
“You have to come! I need you!” Pandora argues.
“You’ve got Lupin.” Dorcas says though she knows it’s not the same for Pandora.
“No offense to you Remus but I need you, Cas.” She says and pouts.