Year One: The Hogwarts Express

Remus stumbled off the train at King’s Cross. He caught himself just in time and heaved the heavy second-hand suitcase down the carriage steps. His mother descended after him. Remus hummed with excitement—the day he’d waited for all month was here, September first.

He was careful to lift his suitcase with both hands—it was held together by two belts haphazardly combined. He’d never been to London before. Announcements filled the train station’s high halls, floating over the buzzing crowd. It was only ten o’clock, but his mother ushered him through the station nonetheless. They sat on a bench on platform nine, not sure if the wizarding counterpart would have such amenities.

Remus twisted his fingers, studying the announcement board. His mother had been a mess for days, hugging him on every occasion and breaking into tears over the most minor things. Remus tried to console her, but he couldn’t understand why she made such a big deal about him leaving for school.

Sure, he never thought he could attend any normal school ever again. He remembered the vague questions of teachers and students alike when they’d seen his scars and injuries. But Hogwarts was not a normal school.

He had first learned about it when he’d snuck into his father’s office and lifted a few books off the shelves. At night, hidden under the covers, Remus read a book called ‘Hogwarts: A History’, about a school filled with magic for kids that could make strange things happen—like him. Wizards. It had devastated him when he realised he couldn’t attend. He was a werewolf, not just a wizard.

A family wheeled a trunk past them, muttering, and checking their ticket repeatedly. Remus gripped his suitcase, holding it close. His mother stroked his hair, smiling. “You will have a lovely time,” she assured him.

Remus smiled. “I know.”

He was confident he knew what waited for him. High halls, an old castle, a forest with feral creatures, classes, and ghosts. He was ready for all of it.

“And we’ll write to you,” she said.

Remus nodded. He expected her to break into tears every second.

“You’ll make a lot of friends,” she continued.

“I don’t know about that,” Remus mumbled.

“Oh, honey.” His mother slung an arm over his shoulder, pulling him close.

“I can’t tell them who I am. How will I ever get to know someone?”

“You will. That is just one tiny sliver of what makes you unique. They will get to know you—the rest of you—and love you for who you are.”

“Mum,” Remus said, readjusting in her arms. He could easily break her grip, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. Instead, glimpsing the clock, he asked, “Should we go?”

“I love you,” his mother said, pulling away. “I will love you, always.”

They stopped in front of the divide between platforms. Gently, she squeezed Remus’s shoulder, tears staining her cheeks. “You can come home anytime you want. You don’t have to go.”

She smiled half-heartedly, and Remus patted her hand. “I want to go, Mum,” he mumbled, suddenly unsure about the plan. What if the other kids didn’t like him? Or worse, were afraid of him? Maybe they could tell how weird he was.

“I packed sandwiches this morning, and an apple. Did you remember the medicine? I’m sorry we couldn’t get you an owl.” The words bubbled from her mouth, and her voice was several octaves higher than usual. She handed over the rucksack slung over her shoulder, intertwining her fingers, before wiping tears from her face. “Your father said Hogwarts had some you could borrow. Write to us if you have troubles—”

“Mum,” Remus said. His mother’s eyes snapped to his face, and Remus tried his best to render a consoling smile. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.”

“I’m your mother. That’s my job.”

Remus sighed. He tugged on the strap of the rucksack. “It’s all here. I got this.”

The last part, he said more for himself than his mother. Before she could answer, he grabbed her hand and pulled her through the barrier. His father had explained what they had to do, but an emergency at work had called him away early in the morning. He’d promised to pick Remus up for the Christmas holidays.

 Smoke rose from a massive scarlet steam engine, obscuring the ceiling. Cats of every colour wound between the legs of families strewn across the platform, hugging each other goodbye, and owls hooted at one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks. A sign overhead read ‘Hogwarts Express, eleven O’clock’. Remus let go of his mother’s hand and straightened. They weaved through the huddled families.

“Keep to your cousins, and don’t you dare try anything funny—”

The voice was high-pitched, almost a screech. Remus turned. The woman who’d spoken was tall and straight-backed. Her skin had an unhealthy yellow tint, which contrasted her jet-black hair. A young boy stood next to her, half hidden behind her robes, gazing around the platform. She towered over a second boy who lounged on a trunk, his foot bouncing. Remus was about to stop, curious, when the woman’s head snapped in his direction, and she looked him over with cold steel eyes.

Remus blushed and hurried on, pausing in front of the train for an awkward one-armed hug from his mother before mumbling his goodbyes and lugging his case up the steps. He was glad that the train left between the moons. This time of the month, his parents almost forgot what he was.

Remus chose the first empty compartment. He didn’t dare lift the suitcase over his head. Instead, he set it on the seat next to him, pealed the rucksack off his back and stacked it on top. Remus pulled his sleeves over his hands, nervous about what awaited him at the school. He pressed his forehead against the glass and watched the people on the platform. His mother stood behind a family of wizards—she looked lost. Remus wondered if there were other Muggles on the platform. Plenty of the kids seemed to wear regular clothes, though the family he’d seen earlier all wore cloaks. Remus fidgeted with the mandatory Hogwarts dress shirt. His father had insisted he wore the parts of the uniform that wouldn’t arouse suspicions with the Muggles.

Remus settled next to his suitcase and peeked over his stacked luggage. Students now swarmed the train. The door to his compartment slammed open. A girl rushed in, pressed against the window, and waved furiously at the platform.

She was small, and her flaming red hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Remus glanced past her. Her parents waved back, blowing kisses. Next to them stood a brown-haired teenage girl with her arms crossed, glaring at the people around her. Remus searched the platform for his mother, but she had disappeared. Defeated, he sunk back, pulling at a loose thread at the arm of his shirt.

The whistle sounded, and the train jerked forward. The girl dropped in the seat next to Remus, wiping at her face with her arms.

“I’m Lily, Lily Evans,” she said, facing Remus with her hand outstretched. Remus blinked twice, unsure if she was actually speaking to him.

“R-Remus,” he stuttered, “Lupin.”

“Nice to meet you,” she said, glancing at her lap, and bit her lip. “Sorry for the crying.”

“T’s alright,” Remus murmured, uncomfortable.

Lily sighed. “It’s horrible, isn’t it, saying goodbye?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you muggle-born too?”

“My dad’s a wizard,” Remus said. He was grateful when the door to their compartment slid open. A small, roundish boy with mousy brown hair blocked the aisle with a massive trunk. Tears still stained his face.

Remus eyed him and gestured for the boy to come in. The other kids were already shouting out in the aisle. The boy scurried into the compartment, haphazardly heaving the trunk over the threshold.

“I—I’m Peter Pettigrew,” the boy squeaked.

Remus rose from his seat. He was over a head taller than the boy. “Remus Lupin,” he said, pointing at the trunk, “You need help with that?”

Peter nodded. Together, they lifted the trunk over their heads. Remus thought it was lighter than it had looked, but when he caught a glance at red-faced little Peter, whose arms were already fully extended, worry crept into his mind. Lily had risen too but wasn’t particularly helpful with lifting, as she was only slightly taller than Peter. Instead, she directed Remus, who was blinded by the trunk dangling over his head. With Lily’s help, Remus manoeuvred his half of the trunk onto the luggage rack, pushing it into the far corner, praying it wouldn’t slip and squish them. He then grabbed Peter’s half, thrusting it upwards. By a miracle, the trunk stayed put. Peter sunk onto the bench opposite, out of breath.

The door opened again, and a boy with the most untidy black hair Remus had ever seen threw himself on the bench next to Peter. “Hiya, I’m James, James Potter,” he said, beaming. He was already wearing his robes.

“Lily Evans,” she said, shaking James’s hand. Remus introduced himself, and Peter whispered his name so quietly that even Remus had trouble hearing it. Remus helped James lift his trunk onto the rack over his head. This time, it was considerably easier since James was about the same height as Remus. James plopped down opposite Lily, resting his elbow on the windowsill.

Peter, who was hunched over next to the door, jumped when it slammed open. The boy Remus had seen being told off by the witch on the platform burst into their compartment, gasping for air. His polished mahogany trunk blocked the door. The boy doubled over, hands on his knees—Remus could hear his heart beating like a caged bird.

“You alright, mate?” James asked, leaning forward.

The boy drew two more breaths before saying, “None of you know who I am, right?”

They shook their heads in unison, and James said, “No.”

“Fantastic,” the boy beamed. “Sirius, Sirius Black.”

James jumped up and gripped Sirius’s hand, shaking vigorously and saying, “James Potter.”

Remus glanced out the window. Other kids usually didn’t let Remus get that close. It had been a few years since he’d been cooped up with this many people. James climbed over the trunk, trying to help Sirius heave it into the compartment.

“Blimey, this is heavy,” James huffed, the trunk barely off the ground. “Could you lend a hand, Remus?”

“Uh, sure.” Remus rose, almost knocking over Sirius, who at least managed to lift the trunk to his knees.

“How did you carry this thing through the train?” James asked.

Remus gripped the handle with James, and Lily jumped in to help Sirius. Jointly, they lifted the trunk and crammed it next to Peters. “My father charmed it, but we must’ve gone too far,” Sirius said, giving the chest one last push.

“How will we get it back down?” Lily asked, her eyes on the luggage rack. “It’ll squish us.”

“Let the house-elves worry about that,” Sirius said, shrugging. He sat between Peter and James. Finally, he seemed to notice the smallest boy huddled in the corner. “And who are you?” he asked.

“P-Peter,” he stuttered. Peter dried his hands on his trousers. His fingers were short stubbles, and a red spot crept up the side of his neck.

“You didn’t have an urge to help us, or—”

“Leave him alone. He’s a head shorter than us. The only thing he could’ve done was get squashed.” It was the first time Remus had spoken to the new boy.

“Remus’s got a point,” James acknowledged.

Sirius’s attention shifted to Remus, and he grinned, stretching out his hand. Remus glanced down—he’d never shaken that many hands in his life—before gripping it firmly.

“Nice to meet you,” Sirius said, a twinkle in his eyes.

Remus shifted in his seat. The sun beat through the window, and tiny beads of sweat formed at his hairline. He had no experience with friends, and he was growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

Sirius pushed a stray curl out of his face. He and James had taken to discussing Quidditch, the wizarding sport played on broomsticks. Remus didn’t know how to fly and had never seen a Quidditch match, so he leaned back against his suitcase. He observed Peter, who always tried to interject his opinions a tad too late.

Remus pulled his sleeves over his hands. No one could see his scars. Remus wondered how long it would take for the other kids to notice he was gone once a month. He’d never been amongst wizards. His father had explained how the Ministry of Magic would hunt and lock him up. Remus shuddered, drawing his legs close, careful to hide his skin.

Remus tore his gaze from the three boys and watched the countryside fly by. Now that they had left London behind, endless fields stretched to the horizon. Lily had leaned her head against the glass, her fingers playing with the rubber.

The door to their compartment slid open again. Remus groaned inwardly. There was little room left between the five people and his suitcase, which was still on the seat. Still, a boy with greasy black hair squeezed between Remus and Lily, ignoring the others completely.

Lily turned slightly and said, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why not?” the boy answered, astounded.

Remus glanced at the boys opposite. They seemed to be carefully holding up a ruse of conversation, their voices less animated than before.

“Tuney h—hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore,” Lily said quietly, her voice constricted.

“So what?” the boy said, patting Lily’s shoulder.

“So she’s my sister!”

“She’s only a—” He stopped himself. Remus pointedly did not look in their direction, but he couldn’t help listening. “But we’re going!” the boy continued, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice. “This is it! We’re off to Hogwarts!”

Remus fumbled with a mended part of his uniform when the boy said, “You’d better be in Slytherin, Lily.”

James’s head snapped around. “Slytherin?” he said, astounded. James turned to Sirius, who was lounging next to him. “Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?”

Sirius didn’t smile. “My whole family has been in Slytherin,” he said.

“Blimey,” James said, “and I thought you seemed all right!”

Sirius grinned. “Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading if you’ve got the choice?”

James lifted an invisible sword. “‘Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.”

Lily’s friend made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him. “Got a problem with that?”

“No,” he said, though his slight sneer proved otherwise. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy—”

“Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?” Sirius interjected. James roared with laughter. Lily stood, flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike.

“Come on, Severus, let’s find another compartment.”

“Oooooo,” James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip her friend as they passed.

“See ya, Snivellus!” Sirius called as the compartment door slammed. They all laughed, at first, at Sirius’s comment, and when the laughter seemed to subside, Peter grunted for air, and the laughter started anew.

It took them the better part of half an hour to quiet down again. Still, one or the other giggled quietly to himself until around two in the afternoon when the trolley stopped in front of their compartment.

Remus, who didn’t have any money, took this as his cue to open his rucksack and dig for the sandwiches his mother had made in the morning. James was the first to turn back from the trolly. To Remus’s surprise, James plopped down next to him.

Sirius was next, and when Peter finally turned around, the food stacked in his arms reached his chin. A small box fell to the floor as he settled on the bench. Remus bent and picked it up. It had a clown on its front, and Remus could see colourful beans through a clear panel. He added it to the stack. When Remus looked up, the others were staring. Remus’s ears turned pink.

“Y—you’re not one of them, are you?” Peter stuttered. James threw a look at Peter. Remus sat dumbfounded, crossing his arms, his heart rate picking up. Had they seen his scars?

“A muggle-born,” Peter prompted.

Remus could feel their eyes on him. “Peter,” James said accusingly.

“What?” Peter shrugged.

Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus quickly said, “My father went to Hogwarts.”

Peter relaxed into the cushion and unwrapped a tart.

“Trade you,” James said to Remus, holding out chocolate. Remus looked at his sandwich and swallowed.

“Err, are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” James grinned, and Sirius chimed in, “You want to try some ‘Every Flavour Beans’?”

Remus shifted in his seat, but James, Sirius and Peter made him try every item they bought from the cart. The landscape outside grew more ragged, the sky darkened, and before the boys had realised, one of the older students knocked on the compartment, informing them they’d arrive in less than twenty minutes. Peter, James and Sirius, who were all from wizarding families, were already dressed in school robes. Remus pulled out the cloak he’d haphazardly stuffed into his rucksack in the morning, hoping the wrinkles weren’t too noticeable.