Choosing sides
Regulus wakes up in the come-and-go room alone. At first, he is confused, because James never leaves him without saying goodbye. And today is a really bad day to start with it. Then the memories from yesterday rush back. The argument, the betrayal in his brother’s eyes, the panic in James’. Regulus didn’t expect Sirius to take the news about his and James’ relationship easily. He knew he would be angry at Regulus for… Sirius is always angry at Regulus for something. He just hoped this time it would be different. It wasn’t. What he wasn’t prepared for was James’ reaction. His boyfriend looked heartbroken. You really chose him over me?! Sirius snapped. I thought better of you than to lie to me about something like this. Sneaking with my brother behind my back?!
Still, James stayed the night with Regulus in their room, holding him close. Regulus tried to reassure him, but he was always useless when it came to being emotional support. But he didn’t expect to wake up alone.
He rushes out of the door not being able to stay there any longer. He won’t cry. James left and Regulus felt like the world ended. He can feel the panic rising in him, but he pushes it down. He is angry and scared.
It’s still early when he runs across the castle straight to Gryffindor Tower. He doesn’t even care if anyone sees him. How reckless he became.
He bursts into James’ dorm room only to find his brother alone standing in the middle of the room. All the fear turns into anger as he looks at the source of his problems. “Are you happy, brother?” Regulus snaps and spreads his arms leaving his body bare. It doesn’t matter, he can’t hurt more anyway.
Sirius frowns. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“He left me. I woke up and he was gone.” His voice breaks a little at the last word. “I hope you are happy.” Regulus won’t cry. He refuses. He clenches his fists digging nails into the palm of his hand.
“I didn’t do anything.” Sirius snaps offended.
“Of course, you did. You made him choose. Me or you.” Regulus says bitterly.
“Reg…” Sirius interrupts him, his eyes flicker towards the door.
“Don’t call me that!” Regulus spits. “You took him away from me. He is the only good thing I have left! You got mad at him for being with me and of course James will choose you. I know that. I’m not stupid enough to think he would choose me.” Regulus laughs but it’s empty.
“Regulus.” Sirius tries again but he ignores him.
He wanted to be angry at his brother, but the determination left him. There is no reason to fight, he already lost. “I knew he would leave me at some point. I just…” His voice breaks again. “I wanted to be happy a little longer. I never got to have something good. I just hoped you would actually want me to be happy. You won, Sirius. You will get everything I ever wanted I will be alone… again.”
“Reggie?” A voice says from behind him. A cold shiver runs down his spine as he recognizes the voice. He turns around to see James standing at the door with wide eyes. There is no doubt he heard most of it.
Oh, Regulus made an even bigger fool out of himself. He would never let anyone see him like this, but then he looks at James, this beautiful kind good person and he would have begged to have him back. If it could save him, he would get on his knees and beg anyone to let him keep the boy for a little longer.
James takes a few quick steps and stands in front of him his hands cuping Regulus cheeks. That’s not fair he thinks as a tear rolls down. He can’t be strong with the reminder of what he’s lost. Maybe James can pretend for a little longer he wants to stay with Regulus. He will take it. And maybe it makes him pathetic, he doesn’t care.
“Love, what is happening? Why are you here?” James says softly, always so soft with him.
“I woke up and you weren’t there. You never leave me. And I just…” Regulus whispers. James' eyes widen.
“I went for breakfast. Reggie, I did not leave you. And when I came back you were gone.” James explains and Regulus doesn’t fight the tears.
“You would come back for me?”
“I never left,” James assures him pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Regulus wants to run and hide from the humiliation of the whole situation. Regulus wants to never leave the touch of James Potter.
“Did you mean that? All you said?” James asks swiping a thumb over his cheek. Regulus closes his eyes. The need to run wins, but before he can make an escape James brings him into a hug.
“No running away, love.” He whispers to Regulus before he straightens his body and says out loud even for his brother to hear. “We are talking about this, all three of us. I’m not choosing sides…” He holds Regulus closer. “…Because there are no sides to choose from. We are gonna sit down and solve this. No one is leaving anyone. And maybe if we are lucky, you will realise that even tho you both are amazing strong people, as a team you would be invincible.”