Chapter 1
James doesn’t hate Regulus Black. James has never really hated anyone in his entire life. He greatly dislikes people, sure, but hate? No. He just isn’t made to hate. That being said, Regulus Black isn't James’ first choice of company. James tries to get on with him, for Sirius’ sake, but Regulus does anything and everything he can to avoid him- something James has been trying very hard not to let get to him. And to top it all off, Regulus is just mean. James doesn’t even comprehend how someone Sirius speaks so highly of could be so unpleasant. And of course, with James’ fucking luck, he’s been assigned Regulus Black as his transfiguration project partner.
The two of them have been sitting in their corner of the library for half an hour, in complete and total silence. Merlin, James hates this kind of silence. His leg shakes under the table as he twirls his wand around in his hand and just stares at the boy across from him. Regulus stares back, his face blank and calculating. He looks like he wants to take James’ wand and shove it down his throat. James clears his throat.
“We should probably get started, yeah?” Regulus just narrows his gaze into a glare in response. Regulus’ death glare wasn’t nearly as terrifying as he probably meant it to be. James feels a smile creep onto his face at this thought but quickly drops it when Regulus’ glare hardens even more.
They don’t talk.
They just look at each other.
Until Regulus clears his throat, snapping James out of his thoughts. He takes that as his cue to start talking. Now or never, he guesses.
“Great, so I was thinking we could start by-”
“We could start-” Regulus interjects, “- by establishing that simply because you are-” he pauses gesturing vaguely towards James,“well you- does not mean you will charge into this. I will not have your, chaos, disturb my O in transfiguration”
James pouts. Transfiguration is his best subject. He’s good at most of his classes, but transfiguration just sort of calls to him in a way other kinds of magic just don’t. And of course it helps that Minnie was the respective professor. Regulus’ assumption that James wasn’t as good at transfiguration- if not better- than he was didn’t feel fair.
“Well fine,” he says, shifting in his chair a bit, “what would you have us start with Mr. I-know-everything?” This earns him a nasty look.
“Well, first, I have rules,” Regulus says, matter of factly.
James crosses his arms. Rules?
“Rule number one, the work for this project will be divided evenly between the two of us. I will not do all the work.”
“You know I have decent grades for a reason. I don’t just cheat my way through school.” James says, a little offended. Regulus just continues:
“Rule number two, under no circumstances will you attempt to slack off during the duration of this project. Not understanding or just not doing well is one thing, not caring enough to put in the work is another.”
James gapes at Regulus. Does he really think James does nothing in all his classes? He puts in a lot of work to maintain O’s in just about everything. In fact, last time he checked- and by checked he means broke into Minnie’s office and looked at her grade book- James was the top of his transfiguration class. Regulus folds his hands on the table.
“Does your open mouth mean you have something to say, or are we going to start?” he says.
“What’s your grade?” James finds himself asking.
Regulus raises his eyebrows. “Like I said before, I have an O.”
“No,” James says, waving his hand. “What’s the number? Minnie placed our project partners based on our grades.”
“So?”
“So, I want to know what your grade is so I can know how much higher it is than mine,” James lies. Regulus sits up a bit straighter and narrows his gaze, curious.
“Why do you need to know how much higher my grade is than yours? We’re paired up because one of us is excelling and the other isn’t,” Regulus asks.
Wrong. James thinks. Minnie’s never paired groups up like that before. She’s paired us because we’re both excelling. That’s why our project is different from most of the class. Instead of saying this, James shrugs.
“Can’t I just want to know? ”
Regulus sits back, silent. He furrows his brow and purses his lips a bit, as if confused, then goes back to his resting stare.
“I’ve a 96,” he says.
James was right, he's still top of the class. Not by much seeing as he’s only got a 98, but still.
“Hm, 96, so you’re at, what, the very top of our entire class?” James muses, trying to keep his voice level. He’s got to know that someone else is at the top at least, he thinks.
Regulus inclines his head slightly, looking James differently now than before.
“Not the very top. Second,” He says slowly.
“Cool” James says “so, have you got any more rules or can we start now?”
Regulus picks up his quill without another word and starts writing on his parchment.
James blinks.
“Are you going to start working or stare at me like a deer caught in headlights this entire time?” Regulus says, not looking up at James.
James freezes and opens his mouth to speak before bursting into laughter.
“Wh- a deer in headlights,” he manages to say, clutching his stomach and grinning.
“I- yes, Potter, a deer in headlights. It’s a common muggle phrase.” Regulus says, sounding exasperated.
“I’m sorry, it’s just-” he laughs again, this time loud enough to get Madam Pince to hush him. “Sorry,” he whispers, “it’s just- you could have said anything else but-” James bursts into quiet fits of laughter again, causing Regulus to roll his eyes.
“If you're going to be like this I’m going to do my half of the project on my own,” Regulus says sourly.
James wipes the tears of laughter from his eyes.
“Sorry, sorry. I can- I can work.” He straightens up and runs a hand through his disheveled hair, glancing at Regulus as he stands up. “Uh, where are you going?” James asks, reaching out to wrap his hand around Regulus’ wrist.
Regulus quickly snatches his wrist free from James grip.
“Don’t touch me.” he snarls.
“I- sorry,” James says softly. Oh why did he do that? He winces as he watches Regulus walk through the aisles of books. James thinks back to first year with Sirius and how adverse he was to James touching him then, even if it was just a casual clap on the shoulder. It took months before Sirius was comfortable letting James hug him, even longer for him to return the embrace. So grabbing Regulus’ hand like that was probably not smart.
James shakes his head before turning back to his book and starting on the project. He glances up as Regulus sits back down across from him, two new books in hand, but doesn’t say anything. He brings his left hand up to his mouth and bites his thumbnail as he writes, his leg shaking under the table. He glances to look at his book, needing a definition for a word when he sees Regulus glaring at him.
“What?” he asks, taking his hand away from his mouth.
“Do you have to do that all the time?” Regulus says.
James blinks. “Er- do what exactly?” he asks.
“You know, shake the table.” Regulus says, the corners of his mouth tilting down in annoyance.
James freezes. He didn’t even realize he was doing it again.
“Hmm? Oh, sorry. I don’t really realize when I do it, it just sort of happens.” James mutters. “But I'll try.” he adds, giving Regulus a small smile.
Regulus nods once before looking back at his work. They work in silence, James putting most of his focus into keeping his body still while he works. Nearly an hour later, James looks up as Regulus puts his quill down and blankly stares at his book.
“What’s wrong?” James asks, also putting his quill down.
“It doesn’t make sense,” Regulus mutters softly, still looking at the book.
James stands up and leans over the table.
“What are you doing?” Regulus snaps.
“Looking at the book,” James says, moving the book so he can see it. “What doesn’t make sense?” he asks Regulus.
Regulus presses his lips into a thin line and raises an eyebrow. James shrugs.
“What? I can’t try to help?” he says. Regulus frowns.
“If it doesn’t make sense to me, why do you think it will to you?”he asks slowly.
James just shrugs again, trying not to be a little offended.
“Can’t hurt to try.” he says. Regulus frowns again, shooting him a look before pointing to a section of the book.
“This bit here; it talks about the difference between animagi, and metamorphmagus, but it doesn’t say anything about human transfiguration. If human transfiguration is easier and safer than the process of becoming an animagus, why would anyone go through becoming one? Why wouldn’t they simply have someone transfigure them into the animal of their choice?” Regulus muses.
James nods.
“That’s a frequently misunderstood concept. Animagi maintain their knowledge and brain function as if they were human, but anyone who’s been transfigured into an animal maintains the knowledge and brain function of that animal.” He rambles, using his hands to talk. “Which can lead to them being stuck like that, especially if they were the original caster. It’s a result of the ease with which it takes to perform the spell; it’s easier to transfigure yourself into the animal, without the careful nuances of magic it takes to become an animagus, so you don’t get the same benefits of those nuances,” he explains, sitting back in his chair, not really noticing the look of bewilderment on regulus’ face.
“What’s your grade?” Regulus asks after a while. James looks up. Shit.
“What?” he asks.
“What’s your transfiguration grade?” Regulus asks again, his hands folded carefully on the table.
“Doesn’t matter, it’s not a ninety six,” James says.
Regulus tilts his head, eyes narrowing. “Can’t I want to know?” he asks, mirroring James’ earlier question.
James scratches the back of his neck. “Er- I've got an eighty” he lies.
“No you don’t.” Regulus says quickly.
James grimaces. “No. I don’t,” he says. Regulus just looks at him, waiting for an answer.
“What’s your grade, Potter?”
“A ninety eight,” James answers, his leg bouncing and shaking the table again. Regulus’ curious expression fades back to its original icy demeanor.
“That would make you the top of our class,” he says sourly.
“Er, yep. It would,” James confirms. Regulus glares at him and closes his books and leaves the library without another word.
“Great,” James mutters to himself. Way to go James. Another spectacular failure at getting on with Regulus Black. He slowly packs up his work and goes to check his book out with Madam Pince. He grins at the older woman as she stamps his book and bows dramatically when she tells him he’s all set. “Always a pleasure Madam Pince,” he says as he leaves the library. He makes his way back to Gryfindor tower, chewing the inside of his cheek. What was it about him that Regulus couldn’t stand? James was never mean to him, not as far as he could remember anyway. As he climbed up the tower, books in hand, James frowned. Maybe he’d said something wrong. Leave it to him to let something rude slip from his mouth without even realizing he was being rude.
James walks into Gryffindor House, draping himself across the common room couch next to Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Marlene. He sighs and drops his bag on the ground, making a small thud.
“Long day, James?” Remus asks, looking up from his book.
“Long day indeed, Moony.” He turns to face Sirius. “Your brother hates me, mate.”
Sirius laughs. “Reg hates everyone, Prongs. Don’t take it personally,” he says.
“But he hates me, like, a spectacular amount,” James whines.
“Did you do anything to make him angry?” Sirius asks.
“Erm, I may have, yeah.”
“What’d you do?” Remus asks, raising an eyebrow.
“It wasn’t that bad- I just lied about my transfiguration grade and then had to tell him it was higher than his,” James says.
“Why did you lie about it?” Peter asks from his seat next to Remus.
“Well, because Wormtail, he kept saying all these things about his stupid rules for the project and him being better than me, so I didn’t really lie- I just let him think he was right.”
Sirius snorts. “He has rules? That’s bloody pretentious.”
“You're not helping, Pads,” Remus says.
“Yeah, Pads, not helping,” James adds.
Sirius throws up his hands. “Alright, sorry. He does have a thing about being better than everyone, though Prongs. Like I said, pretentious. But he’ll get over it eventually.”
“Eventually like in a week or eventually like a year and a half?” James asks.
Sirius shrugs. “I dunno, mate. Good luck though.” he says, throwing his arm around James’ shoulders.
“Thanks,” James says. He leans his head on Sirius' shoulder and tunes in as Peter and Marlene have an animated discussion about something. “What exactly are they on about?” he whispers to Sirius.
“Marlene swears she’s had a vomit every flavor bean and Pete doesn’t believe her.” Sirius fills him in.
James scrunches up his nose in disgust.“Vomit flavor. Why in the name of all things holy would there be a vomit every flavor bean?” He says.
“That’s exactly my point, Prongs. It’s rubbish-” Peter says.
“It is not! I’ve had one,” Marlene retorts.
“And how exactly can you prove that, Marls?”
“I can't, you'll just have to take my word for it.”
“Because that always works out for us,” Remus says, not looking up from his book.
“Rude,” Marlene says, though the grin on her face suggests she doesn’t take offense.
James laughs along with his friends, his mind temporarily taken away from his transfiguration project partner.
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
Regulus hates a lot of people, but he doesn’t hate anyone the way he hates James Potter. He hates him with every fiber of his fucking being. Regulus has always thought he would hate Sirius or his parents more than anyone else for the rest of his life. He’s been proven wrong as of late, as Sirius is slowly growing on him (a revelation Regulus refuses to ever share with him) and despite Regulus’ best efforts, he’s been forced to spend more time in orbit of Sirius and his friends. And that unfortunately includes James fucking Potter. James Potter is a self-centered, arrogant, brother-stealing prick. And, of course, not only has Regulus been paired with him for a transfiguration project, but Potter has the nerve to be better at transfiguration than Regulus.
“Are you still pouting about Potter’s transfiguration grade?” Regulus looks up to see Dorcas and Pandora sitting on the chairs across from him, followed by Evan and Barty who sit on either side of him.
“No.” Regulus says angrily, earning him a look from Dorcas. “Maybe.”
“Why are you so hung up over his grade? So what he’s better than you, at least he’s not an insufferable idiot like Figgins,” Barty complains.
Regulus glares at him. “Potter is an insufferable idiot,”
Evan laughs at both of them. “He can’t be as bad as my partner, the poor girl. She’s not an idiot, she just can’t understand animagi to save her life. She’s quite nice actually.”
“You’ve got Tintwistle right?” Dorcas asks. “Yeah, Caroline’s sweet,” she says when Evan nods. “Had her for a potions project last year.”
“Aren’t you with Pettigrew, Cas?” Barty asks.
Dorcas shakes her head. “I’ve got a girl. Scarlet Norden. She’s quite smart, so I can’t complain.” she says with a shrug.
“Didn’t she get attacked by a cocoon spider a few years back?” Pandora asks.
“Yeah, poor thing was paralyzed for a week in the webbing.”
Evan shudders. “Imagine being stuck in a giant spider cocoon for a week.”
“I’d rather not, thank you,” Regulus says, making a face. His face of disgust melts into a small smile when they all laugh. “What about you, Dora?”
“Oh, I’m with Lily Evans, so I won’t complain,” she says as her hands glide over a small strand of her hair, plaiting it and undoing it repeatedly. “Lily Evans is a gem.”
Dorcas nods. “ She’s a right gift to women everywhere, Panda.”
“She is indeed Dorky,” Pandora agrees with a grin. “Smart, beautiful and terrifying, that woman is.”
Regulus and Barty both fake gag.
“Alright, we get it. Thank you for your input, you bloody queers.” Barty says.
“Says the one who can’t go a week without shagging another man,” Evan says under his breath. Barty grins at him.
“It’s a shame you don’t subscribe to that lovely part of human life, Rosier. I’d show you a good time.” he says, making a kissy face.
“I’m sure,” Evan says, rolling his eyes.
Regulus crosses his arms. “So just to be clear, I’ve got the worst partner for this project,” he says. Barty groans, leaning over so his head rests in Regulus’ lap.
“He can’t be that bad, Reg. I mean, look at him. No one that fit is as bad as you say Potter is. I mean the man’s shoulders barely fit through doorways. And his abs, Reg! Please tell me you’ve seen them because you haven’t truly lived unless you’ve seen Potter’s abs. He’s practically sculpted from marble,” Barty gushes, a faraway look in his hazel eyes.
Dorcas and Evan both make faces of disgust while Pandora nods along appreciatively, wrapping a strand of her long blonde hair around one of her fingers.
“He is quite attractive. And popular. You don’t get that popular by being- what was it you called him last week? A “selfish wanker with no respect for other people”, was it?” She shakes her head. “I think he’s rather nice actually,” she adds.
Regulus glares at Barty and Pandora. “Right, well I’m not talking to either of you traitors,” he says, though he can’t help but think about Barty’s words. He has seen Potter’s abs, once in fourth year, after Gryffindor quidditch practice. He remembers not being able to tear his eyes away when Potter lifted his shirt to wipe sweat from his face, showing anyone in the area his sweat drenched, shining chest and abs. He remembers wondering what it must feel like to reach out and touch those abs before immediately shaking the thought from his head.
Nearly three years later and Regulus can’t help but sit and wonder the same thing from time to time, until he eventually snaps out of it. Potter is and always would be the one who stole the only person who mattered from him. Which was unforgivable and made him worthy of all the pent up anger and hatred Regulus harbored for him. It definitely did. It did, right?