Chapter 2
James didn’t know how to handle this.
The Marauders had found out about the deal their company had made with Skittles’ company for this upcoming tour only the night before they had the proper meeting with the other group, during their own meeting.
The meetings were never-ending nowadays, always needing to work something out about the tour. James doesn’t remember it ever being this much before, but they haven’t toured in a couple of years. And this is by far their biggest tour yet.
So, when they were called in for another meeting last night, James hadn’t thought much of it. He figured it was going to be something about the tour cover, or something simple. When Marlene told them the meeting was actually about the opening acts, he was excited.
They had been stuck on an opening act for so long since they started planning the tour months ago. Hearing Marlene preface the meeting by saying they’ve finally found the perfect match truly had him seated on the edge of his seat.
She had never been one to beat around the bush, and this meeting was no different.
“We’ve found an opening act,’ she had said, “they’ll be with you for the entire North American leg of the tour, potentially into the Europe leg.”
“So who is it?” Peter asked.
Marlene looked at each of them before landing on Sirius. “Skittles.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Sirius broke out into laughter. “Good one, Marls. Now c’mon, who is it?”
Marlene raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Skittles. Now do whatever you need to process because we have a meeting with them to get the final signatures tomorrow morning and I will be damned if one of you causes a scene in front of my girlfriend.”
After, Sirius reacted pretty much how James expected, basically going through all the stages of grief. James was thankful that Sirius was able to make it to acceptance, even if it took a while to get there.
“It’ll be fine. I’ll barely have to see him and I sure as hell won’t have to talk to him or any of his weird bandmates. It’ll be fine.” Sirius ranted, “Right, Prongs?”
James sees how much this is destroying his best friend - his brother - and he feels helpless. He doesn’t like feeling helpless, and doesn’t like not knowing how to help someone, but he still does. He genuinely doesn’t know what to do or how to make it any better. He can only hope his hand running up and down Sirius’s back as he lets the other man rant would be enough.
During the meeting, Regulus took the news a lot better than Sirius did, but that didn’t surprise James. Regulus had always been far more reserved, he was never one to suddenly lash out or cause a scene, preferring to stay hidden in the background.
So James felt it was a bit unfair of Sirius to call him a child for his reaction, but Regulus took it in stride. He allowed Minerva to finish talking and he ignored Sirius, signing the contract with little issue when he realized there was simply no getting out of this.
“We’ll have planned hangouts for the eight of you over the next couple of weeks because none of you are going to initiate anything yourselves. The hangouts will be public and private, to get the public interest. Please, do us all a favor and just show up to them and do as your told, yeah?” Marlene says after collecting the contracts, receiving reluctant murmurs of agreement.
“Great. We’ll start with Regulus and James. It’s my understanding that you two knew each other when you were younger?” James glances towards Regulus, who shares a panicked glance with Barty before nodding reluctantly. It kind of pisses James off how insensitive both of their management teams have been about this entire situation, but he knows it’s not their goal.
He also knows his and Regulus’ history goes a lot deeper than a simple childhood friendship, but he refrains from commenting and Marlene continues despite not getting a proper answer. “You two are also the main songwriters of your respective bands so you two can work together and give each other inspiration.” Marlene continues to reason.
“Yeah, alright. Let me know when.” Regulus agrees, resigned. James nods along.
“That should be all for now, then. We’ll be in contact with you over the next couple of weeks and we’re looking forward to working with you.” Minerva says kindly.
Skittles say their goodbyes as well, making a quick exit soon after. Sirius huffs once the door closes behind them. “This really fucking sucks.”
“You’re going to have to talk to him eventually. You can’t just keep making snide comments, it really won’t lead to anything good.” Peter says.
Sirius waves him off, too annoyed to take any proper advice.
James sighs. Truly, how did they get into this mess? He wishes they could go back two weeks ago when they lived blissfully pretending Regulus and Skittles didn’t exist and were still struggling to finalize touring details. Now that they finally have an opening act, there’s not much more to do and it all feels like it's going too fast for him.
—
James and Regulus’ hang out ends up being later that week, in a small and secluded cafe. It was all planned in the third person, with Marlene and Dorcas doing all the communicating so that all he and Regulus had to do was actually show up.
Regulus truthfully expected James to stand him up. He’s not surprised to walk into the almost entirely devoid cafe directly at the meeting time to find it notably absent of a certain James Potter. He doesn’t think much of it. Who cares if James decides to not show up? Regulus still needs to work on his own songs anyway.
He orders his drink and chooses a table in the corner, hidden away as he likes it. He quickly settles down, opening his journal to continue the song he was stuck on.
He’s in the cafe by himself for maybe 15 minutes before the bell above the door rings again, signifying another person entering. He looks up to see James looking around the cafe himself. He looks back down before James can spot him, effectively preventing any awkward eye contact. He groans internally. He had truthfully been relieved when he was under the impression that James had stood him up, he doesn’t think he has the mental capacity to deal with it all today.
He glances up again to see James ordering at the cash register, giving the barista a charming smile. The barista blushes and giggles at whatever James says, and Regulus refrains from audibly scoffing. He does roll his eyes rather violently, though.
James sits down across from him a couple of moments later, haphazardly tossing his bag onto the chair next to him and practically shaking the entire table. Regulus raises an eyebrow and he’s minorly amused at the sheepish smile he gets in return before James starts talking, forgoing any greetings or formalities.
“Sorry I’m late, I got stuck with Sir…ius” James trails off at the end, pausing before hesitantly finishing Sirius’s name.
Regulus rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to act like he’s some taboo. Obviously, I know you hang out with him, idiot.”
James smiles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Right, right, sorry.”
Regulus sighs, glancing back down at his page. It’s covered in notes and doodles, with barely any proper lyrics honestly. He really needs to make some progress on his song. He’s fully prepared to spend the next couple of hours in semi-awkward silence while they work on their own respective projects, but James seems to feel differently.
“We really don’t need to do this. I can just lie and say that it went fine.”
Regulus makes eye contact with him, seeing his sincerity. James has a point. They really aren’t obligated to be there, and it’s easy enough to make up a story and say they got along just fine, so Regulus technically doesn’t have to deal with semi-awkward silence for a couple of hours.
But, on the other hand, he will be stuck with James and the rest of The Marauders for a very extended period of time in the near future. They may as well set the ground for where they stand now rather than having to do it when the tour starts with everything else going on. Regulus is just thankful they had enough mercy to not make him spend time with Sirius because he truly doesn’t think he’s ready to handle that mess yet.
He shakes his head, maintaining eye contact with James. “It’s fine. We both have work to do, and I’ll do anything to appease Marlene and Dorcas at this point.”
James laughs, even though Regulus doesn’t think he said anything particularly funny. Whatever, James is weird. He’s always known that. Regulus pauses, considering something else. “Unless you don’t want to be here? If not then you can leave, you don’t need to feel like you have to be here.”
James hums. “No, I agree with you. I can think of worse ways to spend my afternoons than sitting in a nice cafe across from you.”
At that, Regulus raises his eyebrows. For one, he’s not entirely sure he believes James thinks that. Secondly, that sounded incredibly flirty. “I’m sure..” He mumbles, sarcastically. James only shrugs.
James lifts his drink, some insanely sugary mix topped with whipped creme and chocolate syrup, to his mouth. Regulus decidedly does not focus on James’ lips, instead zeroing in on the series of numbers written on the side of the cup.
He almost laughs in disbelief as he realizes they’re the barista's number. She really is brave, does she even know who James is? He glances towards the register to find the same girl staring at them, biting her lip. When she notices Regulus’s staring she has the decency to at least look away shyly. Regulus turns his attention back to James, who has now put the cup back down
“You gonna call her?”
“Who?”
Regulus nods to the cup, pointing out the phone number. When he looks closer at it he notices how ugly the numbers look together. He judges the barista a bit more. Seriously, if you’re gonna be handing out your number to strangers, at least have it be an aesthetically pleasing number.
Regulus mentally slaps himself. Why is he thinking this stuff? Who cares who hits on James? Not him, definitely not him.
James’ eyes widen a bit when he realizes what Regulus is referencing, studying the cup himself. “Oh! No, management would actually kill me. She’s not really my type either.”
Regulus nods. “Lily Evans, right?”
James blinks, his head tilting in confusion. “No that’s not-” he’s cut off by Regulus’s phone, sitting off to the side on the table, suddenly ringing. The contact name “Andy” pops up. Regulus curses, picking his phone up. He mumbles an apology before accepting the call and bringing it to his ear.
“Hey, is something wrong?” Regulus says right as he answers. Andromeda’s never been the type to call unless it’s something important.
“Yes, there is, Regulus Black! Why wouldn’t you tell me your going to be going on tour? With your brother, for fucks sake!” Andromeda shoots right back.
Regulus rubs his eyes, guiltily, even though Andromeda can’t see his tell of guilt through the phone. He should’ve called Andromeda the minute he knew, but he’d been so preoccupied trying to process it himself it completely slipped his mind.
“Leaving me to find it through a damn tweet” She huffs through the phone when he doesn’t respond right away. “And now Dora’s trying to convince me to let her take 2 months off school to follow you around on tour like some damn groupie!”
Regulus huffs out a laugh. “Of course she would want that.”
“Not the point, Reg.”
Regulus sighs “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry, we only found out a couple of days ago and it’s been so hectic since then. Management is having us spend time with each other to get to know everyone before the tour begins. I’m actually with James Potter right now. You remember him, right?”
Regulus looks towards James to see him glancing down at his notebook, pretending not to listen. Regulus sees him inch forward the slightest bit when he mentions his name, though, He can’t help but find it ridiculous. Maybe a bit endearing, too.
“Oh?” Andromeda says over the phone, suddenly intrigued. “Sirius’s best friend, correct?”
Regulus sighs. “Yes, that’s the one.”
“So have you spoken to Sirius?”
“Not directly. He’s been a bit of a dick, but I didn’t expect much else from him.”
“Hm, I’m sorry, dear,” Andromeda hums sympathetically, “this could be good for you two, though. It’s been years, he probably doesn’t even know that you don’t live with them anymore. There’s no better time to reconnect.”
By ‘them’, Andromeda is referencing his parents. He’s been under his cousin, Andromeda, and her husband, Ted’s care for years now. Since he ran away at 16, just two years after Sirius had left, he couldn’t survive there by himself. He thought he had to, though. He thought if he tried to leave they would try and drag Sirius back in, which Regulus would never allow.
Now that he’s grown, Regulus knows that they never would’ve been able to get Sirius back under their possession, not after he had been adopted by Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, but he hadn’t known that back then. And he was so scared. It had taken Barty, Evan, Pandora, and Dorcas all going behind his back and creating their own plan to get him out for Regulus to be freed.
To this day, Regulus doesn’t know how Andromeda and Ted found him, but they did. And they picked up his pieces and put him back together, providing him with a kind of parental love he didn’t think was even possible to receive.
Now, years later, nothing has changed. He still considers them his family, along with their daughter, Nymphadora, and he would give the world to them in a heartbeat.
So, while Regulus largely disagrees with what Andromeda’s suggesting, he doesn’t say anything against it and just hums along. It’s easier that way. No matter what she thinks, he and Sirius just can’t communicate.
Sirius must know by now that Regulus doesn’t follow their parent’s beliefs, and if he doesn’t then he’s genuinely an idiot. And that would be a whole other issue. But if he does, then he truly has no reason to be treating Regulus so shitty, yet he still does. Reconciliation just isn’t an option for the two of them, which Regulus is more than fine with.
“Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I’ll have to check the schedule but I know we’re definitely coming to New York at some point. I know you won’t let Dora skip two months worth of school, but would you guys be interested in coming to a show?” He said hesitantly.
Andromeda scoffs on the other side of the phone. “For being one of the smartest people I know, you truly are dense sometimes.”
Regulus blushes, embarrassed. James raises his eyebrows, but Regulus is still too distracted with his phone call. He feels a bit bad about ignoring him, but, well, Andy’s important.
“Of course, we want to come to one of your shows, Regulus! Ted and I have been waiting for this for so long. I’ll be damned if we aren’t front and center to see it, yeah?”
Regulus smiles, a secret smile that he hopes James doesn’t see.
-
James does see Regulus’s smile, and he loves Regulus’s smile. He’s decided it. He’s set on it. He never wants to see anything but said smile ever again.
He was a bit put off, and even more confused when Regulus accepted a call in the middle of their conversation. He initially thought it was a bit rude of Regulus, but it quickly became apparent that whoever was on the other side of the phone was important to Regulus. He spoke in a way James had never seen him speak before, even when he did know Regulus well.
He quickly forgets about his previous annoyance, instead watching Regulus on the phone. It only feels a little creepy.
He can’t really hear what’s being said on the other side of the phone, whatever it is is putting Regulus in a good mood though. Happiness looks good on Regulus. James wishes it was him making Regulus happy-
Ok, seriously. He needs to stop with these thoughts. Really, what is going on with him?
James struggles with his internal monologue for a bit longer, zoning out of whatever Regulus is saying to the person on the other end of the phone. He only focuses back in when Regulus appears to be saying his goodbyes.
“Yeah, alright, Andy,” Regulus mumbles, “I’ll text you about it,” a pause, where the other begins talking again. “Yes, I’ll try and visit soon. Tour doesn’t start for two months, I’ll get out there when I can.”
James is seriously on the edge of his seat about who Regulus is talking to. Who would Regulus be visiting? From watch James knows, the only people Regulus really cares about all live here with him. He guesses that doesn’t mean much, though, when he considers the fact that he really knows nothing about Regulus, outside of what pops up on his Google profile.
“Alright, yeah, I’ll see you soon, bye.” Regulus gets that same secret smile on his face that James positively adores as he brings his phone away from his face, ending the call.
James has a small smile of his own on his face as Regulus lifts his head back up, putting his attention back on James. Seeing James seems to remind him of his company as he immediately sobers up, dropping his facial expression.
“Sorry about that,” he mumbles, shyly,
“No problem,” James responds kindly before hesitantly continuing. “If you don’t mind me asking, um, who was it?”
Regulus looks at James for a moment with calculating eyes, seemingly trying to determine what his intentions were with asking that question. James briefly wonders if his parents caused these very obvious trust issues, but he knows the answer already. He’s suddenly hit with the inexplicable urge to ask Regulus every question he can think of, to study the man’s mind until he knows it like it’s his own.
Before he gets the chance to open his mouth and ruin the quiet moment they have, Regulus speaks.
“My cousin.”
James tries, he truly tries, to not let the judgment show on his face. He tries, but he can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. While he doesn’t know much about where Regulus stands in regards to his family, James had hoped that judging by the songs Regulus sang at the award show, he had cut contact just like Sirius had. He can’t come up with anything smarter than a dumb ‘What?’, because he truly can’t make sense of this.
Regulus rolls his eyes, otherwise seeming unbothered by James’s apparent disappointment. “Right, I forgot Sirius has made every last one of us seem like devils spawned on the Earth,” he says, spitefully. “My cousin was disowned similarly to how Sirius was when we were younger. She moved across the country and started her own life, way before Sirius left.” Regulus explains.
James blinks. He.. did not know that.
Regulus seems to read his mind as he continues speaking when James doesn’t. “Of course, you wouldn’t know about her because Sirius seems to think he’s the only one who ever rebelled against them. You should really check on that god complex.”
James huffs out a laugh, helplessly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Don’t worry about it, seriously. We should get to work on these songs anyways, I’ve been stuck on this part for forever.”
James jumps at the subject change. “Oh! Do you think I could help you with it?”
Regulus seems unimpressed. “No.”
James would’ve argued on it a bit more if not for the finality of Regulus turning his attention towards his notebook, his pen between his lips thoughtfully. And, well, James is weak.
All of his coherent thoughts are suddenly out the window, gone and never to be found again, as he watches Regulus concentrate. James knows he’s meant to be working on his own songs right now as well, but The Marauders don’t need songs right now. James is also afraid that if he picks up his own pen, the only words that’ll be written on the page will be about the man in front of him, and he really can’t have that. He needs to get it together.
But, he’ll get it together sometime later. Now, on the other hand, he’ll stare at and appreciate Regulus all he wants.
Regulus seems to have a certain system when he’s writing music. He’ll get an idea and take his pen out of his mouth to write down the lyrics on the stage, adding a little note or doodle while the pen is out of his mouth. He’ll take a drink of his coffee before replacing the straw with his pen once more, reading over the lyrics. Next, he’ll either find something wrong with what he had previously written down and scribble it all out, or he’ll come up with another idea to add back down.
After watching the process happen three times in a row, James has it memorized.
James momentarily looks away from Rgeulus’s face for a moment, taking a glance at the notebook in front of him. It’s so messy, unorganized, and covered in different pen marks. James is truly surprised to see Regulus’s work look like that when Regulus himself seems so put together and neat. It’s kind of nice, actually. To be able to see this part of Regulus clash against what he presents himself as. James wants to know what else about Regulus he’s gotten wrong.
“Are you even going to try doing your own work, Potter?” Regulus mutters, after at least 30 minutes of James’s mindless staring.
Oh.
James didn’t realize Regulus knew what he was doing.
James’s cheeks turn a pretty red shade. Blush isn't easily noticeable on his dark brown skin, but he knows if he were to lift his hands up to touch his cheeks they would be positively burning. He’s glad Regulus didn’t take the time to look up from the notebook that he was staring lasers into as James was momentarily at a loss for words.
Thankfully, he collects himself fairly quickly, “Why would I do my work when I could stare at you instead?”
Regulus rolls his eyes, not at all impressed by James’s joke or entertaining it at all. “Ha, ha, Potter. Seriously, stop staring or I’ll leave. Besides, how would your girlfriend feel about you flirting with random guys?”
That confuses James. What girlfriend is he talking about? James doesn’t have a girlfriend, and he’s not in any publicity relationships at the moment so Regulus’s comment doesn’t make sense. Just like the comment earlier about Lily, it doesn’t make any sense. “I don’t-”
“Seriously, Potter. Leave me alone.”
James sighs, finally glancing back down at the notably blank page of his lyric book. Well, if Regulus won’t let him stare while he contemplates this confusion, he may as well write it down and hopefully come up with some sort of a song after.
–
Regulus and James stay with each other for another two and a half hours, surprisingly. Regulus didn’t expect their hang out to go on for so long, but James technically wasn’t bothering him (when he actually started focusing on his own work) and Regulus had no reason to leave, so he stayed.
He felt very productive, actually. He finished one song and was able to get close to finishing another. He also began numerous songs that would likely never see the light of day, practically just word-vomiting on the page. He didn’t mind if they wouldn’t be published, though. At least he was actually writing now.
There was a point, soon after Skittles put out their debut album, where Regulus thought he’d been run dry, with no more songs left to give. No matter what, he couldn’t seem to organize his thoughts into a song that would sound good. Apparently, all it took for him to bounce back was a simple run-in with his brother.
Truthfully, Regulus could’ve sat in that small cafe, across from James, for multiple more hours. With no one else but them, the annoying barista who still glanced their way every few minutes, and a kind-looking old woman sitting at a different area in the cafe, reading a book.
Regulus sets his pen down as he takes a moment to accept the peaceful atmosphere, listening to the soft rain hitting the window from outside. When he properly looks outside, he’s surprised at how late it’s gotten. The sky is a bit gloomy and cloudy from the rain, but it’s also much darker than it was when he came into the cafe hours ago. He’s surprised at how quickly time went by when he was unaware.
He’s brought back to himself by shuffling across from him, pulling his eyes away from the window to instead look at James. James is now beginning to pack up his stuff. He doesn’t ask why James is leaving, because he truly doesn’t care that much. This hangout didn’t change his opinion of James Potter. He still hates him, just as much as he hates his brother. That doesn’t matter, though, because James offers an explanation anyway.
“Sorry, I have to go. We’re having dinner with my parents tonight.”
Regulus knows by ‘we’ he’s talking about him and Sirius, giving another reason for Regulus’s bitter resentment. It never fails to slip his mind how easily Sirius replaced his parents, and his brother, with the Potters. Regulus wasn’t Sirius’s brother anymore, hadn’t been for 6 years. That was James’s role now.
Regulus is glad for the reminder of his hatefulness, keeping him in check. These next couple of months won’t change anything. He can only hope they’ll go by quickly so that he can go back to pretending Sirius and James simply don’t exist.
And for that reason, he does nothing but hum noncommittally to James in response. James clearly doesn’t get the hint as he stands up but doesn’t walk out immediately.
“This was nice, Reg. Thank you.”
“Regulus.”
“Hm?”
“My name, Potter. It’s Regulus. Don’t call me Reg.”
“Oh. Right,” James nods his head once, tense. As if reminding himself what this was. “See you around, Regulus,” he said before turning around and heading towards the exit, though not without giving a kind wave to the barista, who, of course, was already staring.
Regulus sighs as he watches the door close behind James, the little bell at the top ringing.
He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to survive this, truthfully.
–
Ella | @prongsfoot
OH MY GOD???? REGULUS BLACK AND JAMES POTTER TOGETHER????? All of my dreams have been coming true recently, Sirius and Regulus at the VMAs, skittles and marauders touring together (still doesnt feel real) and now the members hanging out together?? GIVE ME PANDORA AND REMUS NEXT I BEG
546 comments | 3.6k retweets | 8.3k likes
Replies:
Grace | @regslyrics
Replying to @prongsfoot
omg omg so cute ! it kinda looks like they’re on a date..
Jily | @jilylover
Replying to @regslyrics
Dont be stupid james is obviously dating lily
Grace | @regslyrics
Replying to @jilylover
both james and lily have said they dont like being shipped together but ok…
Did Mrdrs and Sktls interact today? | @mrdrsndsktls
Replying to @prongsfoot
my account is thriving right now this is crazy
—
James and Regulus were the first of many. Over the following weeks, everyone hung out with each other at least once.
Some hangouts went better than others. Peter, Evan, and Barty in particular went really well. Regulus never really expected a trio such as them to really work out, too much clash in personality. But when Evan and Barty got home after spending the entire day with Peter, they really couldn’t shut up about how fun it was. Regulus thought he would’ve found it annoying, but he was just happy his friends had a good time. Peter was always nice, and he could always crack a good joke to ease tension in any situation, so Regulus really didn’t mind him. Now, if it had been Sirius or James that Evan and Barty were gushing about then Regulus would’ve felt very differently.
Regulus personally really enjoyed his own time with Remus.
Growing up, when Sirius would still allow Regulus to tag along to hand out with his friends, Remus was always Sirius’s. Obviously, all three of them were technically Sirius’s. Regulus never truly felt like he was one of their friends, but rather just an annoying little brother that they all pitied. But nonetheless, there was always something different about Remus compared to James and Peter. He was Sirius’s in a way that even James wasn’t.
So, Regulus never truly got a proper chance to really talk to Remus in their childhood. He always regretted that, because Remus always had a very fascinating way of thinking and 11-year-old Regulus just wanted to hear Remus’s opinions on everything. Honestly, one could argue that Regulus had a tiny bit of a crush on Remus before he ever even glanced In James Potter’s direction. But, Sirius seemed to hover around Remus like a fucking dog, constantly. From what Regulus has seen, now, over a decade later, not much has changed in Sirius’s protectiveness over Remus.
Regulus’s childhood crush, which was honestly more like infatuation, had vanished the minute James had caught his attention. Now, years later, Regulus feels nothing towards Remus but that similar fascination to how he thinks.
He was more than pleased when he and Remus spent the majority of their time together discussing different concepts and pieces of literature, even debating light-heartedly. Regulus found he truly wouldn’t mind getting to know Remus more over the course of the tour, and he was truthfully looking forward to future conversations with him.
However, he could not say the same about Sirius. At all.
In fact, Sirius actually stood him up. Left him waiting for almost an hour before Regulus said ‘fuck it’ and left. He told Dorcas what happened and truly hoped Sirius got scolded for ditching.
Maybe that was petty of Regulus, but fuck, he is tired of Sirius. They’re both in this shitty situation, but only one of them is acting like a complete child about it.
Whatever. He doesn’t want anything to do with Sirius, so in a sense, he’s glad the other feels the same way, even if it is immature.
This, however, becomes an issue during a rehearsal for the tour. The first show is conveniently in California, where they all live, so they’re currently practicing and running through the entire concert in preparation. The tour didn’t actually start for another couple of weeks, but this ended up being the only proper free time that all of them had.
Different bands meant different schedules, it was natural that they were all busy in their own ways. The only time they were able to get for rehearsals where everyone was available was incredibly early on a Tuesday morning. Regulus was flying out to New York later that day to visit Andy, Ted, and Dora for a couple of days, and they wouldn’t have time when he got back.
All eight of them were hanging out in one of the dressing rooms of the venue while the staff set up the stage. Dorcas and Marlene forced all of them in there, saying it was their ‘bonding time’, Regulus is starting to get a bit tired of them obsessing over Skittles and The Marauders becoming best friends, honestly.
He’s also a bit pissed off at the fact that Lily Evans is also there with them, but she only has eyes for James, who only has eyes for her. They’re sitting close together on the couch, next to Remus and Sirius but not giving either any proper attention. Regulus watches as James says something, causing Lily to laugh, and then James follows a second later.
He looks away, disgusted, and a bit bitter, oddly. Regulus never has any issue seeing Marlene and Dorcas make out - indecently, might he add - in front of him. And he barely bats an eye at Barty and Evan’s obvious flirting as they dance around each other. So, what’s different about seeing James and Lily do gross PDA?
Maybe he’s homophobic but towards straight people. He’s not used to seeing straight people in love, or something like that. Yeah, that’s probably it.
He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Peter suddenly speaking, seemingly to everyone in the room.
“Does anyone know why we’re doing this rehearsal so damn early?”
Pandora nods, not thinking much of it. “Yeah, Regs flying out later today. I think this was the only time everyone was available.”
James perks up, finally looking away from Lily. Thank god. “Oh? Where’re you going?”
Regulus doesn’t get to respond because Sirius cuts in first. Shocking. Every time one of the Marauders has been kind to him in any way, Sirius has been there to immediately shut it down.
“Bit selfish, isn’t it, Reggie?”
Regulus raises an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you having to be here at 8 in the morning really inconvenienced you that much?”
Sirius rolled his eyes as if Regulus was stupid. “It’s about the consideration of it all, what if one of us wanted to do something this morning?”
Regulus shrugs. “That’s too bad for them, there was literally no other time for us to do this.”
“You could’ve gotten a different flight.”
“I’ve had this trip planned for weeks. I have certain obligations elsewhere and I’m not going to change that for something as pointless as your own beauty sleep. You’re being ridiculous, and you know it.” Regulus says with finality. If Sirius wants to start coming at him for any other bullshit, he’s just going to ignore him.
Sirius sits there, not speaking up again. He knows he’s lost. At least he’s learned to take his losses humbly, he used to be such a brat about it, Regulus thinks.
They all sit in awkward silence for a moment, not sure where to go, before James speaks up again. “Sorry, where did you say you were going?”
He never got the chance to say where he was going because Sirius had started to be a dick, but he ignores that. James was just trying to be nice about it, and Regulus wasn’t rude enough to completely ignore him.
“New York”
James’ eyes light up with recognition, “Oh! Are you visiting them?”
Regulus isn’t sure if James told Sirius about Regulus’s connection with Andromeda. Technically, he didn’t tell James that he couldn’t tell Sirius, so he can’t really blame him if he did. But Regulus really hopes he didn’t, because he honestly doesn’t want Sirius to know anything about him. He doesn’t want anything to do with Sirius. At least, that’s what he tells everyone.
Somewhere in his heart, he still yearns desperately for his older brother. It’s buried deep, deep inside, but there nonetheless. And he resents it. Resents the fact that after so many years of bitter hate, he hasn’t gotten rid of it. Resents the fact that that same yearning sometimes bleeds its way out onto his lyric book. Most of all, he resents that Sirius doesn’t seem to carry the feeling at all.
Either way, it doesn’t seem like Sirius knows. He doesn’t seem anything but confused by what James means by ‘them’, maybe even a bit betrayed that James knows who ‘they’ are. Regulus is truly glad Sirius doesn’t know, he really can’t deal with it today.
Evan raises an eyebrow. “Why does Potter know?”
Regulus gives him a look, he’s not helping this at all.
Thankfully, just then, a set crew member walks in and lets them know that they’re ready for Skittles to practice their set. He nods in James’s direction. “Yeah, I’m staying with them for a couple of days,” he says as he and Skittles begin to walk out of the room, heading towards the stage to go through their own set.
He knows The Marauders and everyone else will come out and watch the set as well, but they won’t be coming until Skittles is fully ready.
They don’t have a specific set list, for each show they’ll be changing the songs up, playing three or four from their discography, or playing unreleased songs. They even have permission to do a couple of covers, if they want. So, today they decided to just play a couple of random songs to get their sound settings adjusted for future shows.
After whatever that was that happened with Sirius, he’s feeling spiteful. Sirius never fails to push his buttons, and while he doesn’t let it show that it affects him, it still pisses him off to no end. And now he kind of wants to get back at him. Unhealthy, sure, but that’ll get his point across. That is, as long as Sirius opens his damn ears for once and stops thinking with his ass.
They had originally been planning on keeping it tame, playing their most known songs, the songs that they would likely be playing most often at the shows to hype the crowd up for The Marauders. He doesn’t intend to change that much, they will still play their two hype songs. But, he’ll switch out the first song with a song that he really wasn’t ever planning on playing on this tour. Whatever, he needs Sirius to hear it. To feel it.
When they get to the stage, setting up their instruments and getting everything set up, Regulus speaks, “Set change.”
Barty makes a questioning noise, but it’s Pandora who speaks. “Oh? What is it?”
“The Grudge, Parents, Meddle About.”
“The Grudge? Are you sure? I get that you’re pissed with him but this probably isn’t going to help” Evan responds.
“His shitty comments aren’t helping either. I just need to get this out, get in his head a bit.” He knows it won’t, Sirius won’t let anything get to him, or at least he won’t show it. So Regulus really won’t be able to get much out of playing The Grudge. Regulus hates him for it, among other things.
Barty sighs. “Alright Reg, you know we’ll always support you, and if this is what you want…”
“It is. It’ll be fine, we’re still playing ‘Parents’ and ‘Meddle About’, which are going to be the most consistent shows.”
Skittles all nod, beginning to prepare to perform the new song. He nods to the stage crew when they’re all ready, and Skittles all collectively start playing together. Squinting his eyes through the light, he can see seven figures walking up to the front of the stage to watch, just in time for Regulus to start the song.
He closes his eyes, opening his mouth, and letting the lyrics flow out like it was second nature as his hands worked on the keyboard they have placed out for him for songs when he plays.
I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May
One phone call from you and my entire world was changed
Trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers
You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers
And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did
But I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it
One of the most painful things about Sirius leaving was the fact that he didn’t tell Regulus. The night it had happened, Sirius and Walburga were fighting about something random, as they always did. It was intense, worse than usual. Regulus had been trying to keep the peace between them, but both Sirius and Walburga ignored him as they screamed at each other.
Later that night, when Regulus cleaned Sirius up after Walburaga got too violent, Sirius spoke of leaving. He had always talked about it before, but never seriously. So Regulus didn’t say much about it, letting the other rant all he wanted.
Sirius had seemed a bit annoyed at Regulus, but he thought Sirius was still processing what had happened. It was a lot worse than usual, so Regulus let him do what he needed. But, when he woke up, Sirius was gone. All he had received from his brother was a phone call, telling him he hoped he was happy with their parents, and that he deserved to be with them. Regulus doesn’t think he’ll ever recover from listening to that voicemail.
And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream
How could anybody do the things you did so easily?
And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine
But you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried
For so long
It takes strength to forgive, but I don't feel strong
Regulus is aware that he’s letting up on his nonchalant cover while performing this song. He’s opening up his pain for Sirius to, in all likelihood, mock. But, god, he’s really hoping it’ll hurt him. Or, at the very least, open his eyes. Realize that he’s wrong about everything.
Regulus doesn’t think that’ll happen. Sirius is so set in his ways, so stubborn. He refuses to understand something he doesn’t believe.
And I try to understand why you would do this all to me
You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy
And I know in my heart, hurt people, hurt people
And we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal
You built me up to watch me fall
You have everything and you still want more
I try to be tough, I try to be mean
But even after all this, you're still everything to me
And I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine
But you know I can't let it go, I've tried, I've tried, I've tried
For so long
Regulus ends the song quietly, quickly turning away from the mic. He’s more emotional than he was expecting, and he’s extremely embarrassed about it. He may’ve just shared one of the most personal songs he’s ever written for his brother, but he’ll be damned if he lets Sirius see how it got to him.
He pretends to mess with his in-ear for a moment, but Pandoras already looking worried. “Reg,”
“Don’t worry about it. I just- need a second, okay?”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair as his members wait for him. They know what he needs, and how he needs to be supported. Regulus takes another deep breath, nodding his head. “Alright, ‘Parents’. Let’s do it.”
He turns back around without leaving room for another word, counting them off. He goes through ‘Parents’ the same as normal, messing around with the other Skittles and doing what he wants. This song is never a bore to perform, and Regulus forgets all of his emotions from before, letting himself enjoy the song instead.
When it’s over, they pause for a second before going into the third song to get their settings figured out. The sound crew makes some adjustments before letting them go through the final song, which, in Regulus’s opinion, is their best song to perform.
Regulus nods along as the song begins, waiting for his time to start singing while the other three build up suspense. HE takes his mic off the stand, preparing to just walk around for this song.
Well, come and get it now
Come and get it now
Baby, show me what you're doing
Come and turn around
'Cause it's not just a figure of speech
You got me down on my knees
It's getting harder to breathe out
Regulus honestly doesn’t really know where this song came from. Evan had originally come to him, asking for help with some lyrics he was struggling with, and they ended up with this song. Evan doesn’t even really relate to the lyrics, but Regulus can imagine it’s about Barty, and he disguised it.
Regulus’ assumptions were proven correct when Barty was incredibly annoyed the first time Evan and Regulus played the song for Pandora and Barty, and Barty demanded to know who it was about. Regulus almost laughs at the memory as he walks around Barty, messing with him.
We only met each other just the other day
But you already got me feeling some type of way
Now if I could figure it out
I'd take you back to my house
So we could meddle about
Regulus sings with a confidence that he would never be seen with outside the stage. Seeing videos of himself perform makes him itch, leaving him in disbelief as to how he could act like that, but it’s like the moment he steps on stage, he becomes completely unaware. He wonders how The Marauders feel about how he performs. He wonders how James feels-
Nope. No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t care what James thinks, really. How does he keep ending up on this topic?
Whatever, it doesn’t matter. They finish the song without issue, and Regulus even entertains Dorcas’s cheers from the crowd “Give us a bow! C’mon, Skittles.”
Regulus laughs, bowing a bit himself while Evan and Barty make a big show of it. He doesn’t allow himself to look too closely at the crowd, afraid of what he’ll see in Sirius’s eyes. Instead, he focuses on his bandmates. Focuses on their happiness and tries to absorb some of it himself.
They walk offstage, quickly heading back to the room they were in before. Regulus grabs his stuff, trying to get ready and leave quickly. He really doesn’t want to run into Sirius again. He just wants to get out of here. “Okay, my flight leaves in a couple of hours and I still have some stuff to finish packing, so are you guys going to be okay here if I leave now?”
Evan nods. “Yeah, we’ll be good. Are you going to be okay?”
Regulus rolls his eyes, “Don’t get all parental on me, Rosier.”
Evan smiles cheekily. “Someone’s gotta do it.”
Regulus scoffs, smiling despite himself. “Yes, I’ll be fine. And I’ll see you guys next week. Pandora, don’t let them burn down the house, yeah?”
Pandora nods very seriously while Barty and Evan both shout in defense. Regulus ignores them, bending down to give Pandora a quick peck on the cheek. “Love you, Reg,” They all say.
Regulus nods with a small smile, “Alright, see you guys.” One day he’ll be able to say it back. One day.
Regulus walks quickly toward the exit of the building, hoping to be able to leave without running into anybody he doesn’t want to see.
It seems the universe is decidedly not taking any requests from him at the moment, as right as he thinks that he ends up bumping into James Potter. God damn it.
Regulus curses. Why is James even over here right now? Aren’t they meant to begin their own performance soon, anyway? He huffs, mumbling an apology and praying James doesn’t try to talk to him.
“Reg, hey, wait up!” James calls as Regulus quickly walks past him. Regulus doesn’t stop.
“Gotta go, Potter. And stop calling me Reg.”
Regulus doesn’t look back and doesn’t take a second to truly breathe until he’s in the safety of the car, on his way back to Skittles house. He doesn’t really stop to think until he’s in his seat on the plane and waiting for it to take off. Now, without distractions like packing and making sure he was at the airport on time, Regulus is left alone with his thoughts.
And all he can really think is how screwed he is.
—
James is antsy. He’s checking the time every couple of minutes, trying to do the math in his head to think of what time it is in New York.
The rest of the practice went well, despite all of them being relatively shaken up. None of them were expecting Regulus and the rest of the Marauders to perform a song like that.
And that song was… wow.
It was such an intimate song, telling a story James never would’ve considered Regulus to share with the world. But he did, and now he shared it with Sirius too. James wonders if he was always planning to play that song, or if Sirius was just finally able to truly get under his skin and piss him off enough.
Either way, it took Sirius longer than usual to shake it off. Regulus was out of the venue pretty much right as their set ended, without saying goodbye. Pandora, Evan, and Barty were left to fill in the gaps that Regulus needed to finish packing and catch his flight, so he couldn’t
Now he’s here, thinking about the day. Sirius and Regulus’s fight, Regulus’s song, and Sirius’s reaction. James is also trying, and failing, to not think about how Regulus looked on stage during the last song he performed
God, the amount of times Regulus has left him speechless in just the last couple of weeks. But that might’ve been the craziest thing he’s done. He doesn’t even have words to explain it, Regulus is just, in all honesty, a god.
James feels a bit silly to be thinking that, but wow, somebody who looks like that truly can’t just be some mortal, no. Regulus simply isn’t a normal person. James wants to know everything about him.
James also feels bad about hyperfocusing on how hot Regulus is like this, especially when Sirius walks into his bedroom, plopping face down on the bed and letting out a sad groan.
They were able to get through their rehearsal just fine because Sirius won’t let anything get in the way of him performing, but outside of their rehearsal, Sirius has been a mopey mess. He’s barely functioning. Previously, he wasn’t even letting anyone around him, but now he’s seeking out James. That’s a good sign.
“Ready to talk yet?” James asks after a moment, letting Sirius sink into his bed next to him.
All he gets is Sirius shaking his head into the mattress and a grunt. James sighs, this’ll be difficult. Sirius will come around eventually, but there’s really no telling how long it’ll take.
He looks at the clock once more, deciding it’s time. He’s been itching to text Regulus since the minute he left the venue, and he was waiting patiently for a long time, but now he hastily opens Instagram and finds Regulus’s Instagram quickly.
It’s not an issue, seeing as it pops up right as James goes to the search tab because it’s the last account he looked at.
Yeah, James might have a bit of an issue, but it’s whatever, honestly.
-
Instagram
Chat with rab
James
did u land well?
Regulus
Why are you dming my instagram
James
cuz i dont have ur number
i had no choice but to text u here
Regulus
How about you don’t text me at all?
James
nah i like this more ;)
Regulus
Never send that winky face again
James
aw
Regulus
Seriously, why are you texting me
James
i wanted to see if you landed ok, like i said
Regulus
Why don’t you tell the truth
James
fine
i just wanted to apologize about sirius
ik i dont have to but hes been a real dick and its not very fair
Regulus
I don’t care what he does
And I don't want to talk to him
Or you
Bye Potter
James
i really think you two should talk tho..
reg?
fine
Seen
James sighs, shutting off his phone. Fuck, he really wishes he knew what to do about all of this. It’s still tearing Sirius up, but he’s too damn stubborn to just talk to Regulus. It seems Regulus feels the same way, making it all the more difficult.
He knows Regulus is struggling with his all too. He heard that song, he knows what it means. And so did everyone else. James doesn’t see how Sirius can’t see this all too. Or, maybe he can, and he just doesn’t know what to do with it all.
Over the years, since Sirius got out of that house, he’s become a lot better at managing his emotions. He’s not perfect at it, and it’s moments like this where it shows how difficult it still is for Sirius. It’s moments like this that James is reminded just how much he hates Walburga and Orion Black.
For what they did to Sirius, but... Also what they did to Regulus. He didn’t deserve it. Neither of them did, and James will spend the rest of his life making it up to them, even though it seems Regulus won’t accept it. He’ll make him accept it.
James truly doesn’t know how much Sirius has been able to process this because Sirius hasn’t talked to James about any of this, not since the first night it was announced. He didn’t talk to James about how Regulus reacted to having to do the tour, he didn’t talk to James about how his time with Regulus went, and he didn’t talk to James about him standing Regulus up himself. Nothing. It seems Sirius was fully intent on ignoring the entire situation, which, okay, James can get. But he thought at least, at the end of the day, when the cameras are off and the eyes are finally off of them for a moment, he would say something to James. Absolutely anything, he was practically begging at this point.
Clearly, somebody is listening to his begs because just then, Sirius finally moves, sitting up. James truly doesn’t have many expectations of what he’ll see, he has no idea what Sirius is thinking at the moment. He might see tears, or, he might see complete passiveness.
What he isn’t necessarily expecting is Sirius’s face to be completely hard, not even looking for comfort. It makes James nervous but also relieved that there’s at least some sort of emotion there. Now he needs to figure out how to work through this with Sirius, preferably without any harm done.
Sirius has this look on his face, where he looks like he’s about to punch somebody. James has seen that look on his face many times, and he’s even been on the other side of it once or twice as well. He truly can’t think of anything he did to deserve a black eye now, though. He still prepares himself for a punch if Sirius ends up feeling inclined to do so.
“What were you talking about earlier?” Is what leaves Sirius’s mouth, completely throwing James off.
He talked about a lot of stuff earlier, none of which he thought would set off Sirius in the way it seems to be. “What do you mean?”
“With Reg- Regulus,” Sirius catches himself, “He was talking about where he was going and you asked if he was visiting ‘them’. Who’s them?”
James opens his mouth, hesitating. He doesn’t think he should tell Sirius this. It seemed like something that should be said between the two of them, without interference from James.
Sirius sees his hesitation, scoffing. “Keeping stuff from me now?”
James sighs, “You know that’s not what this is. I just don’t think it’s my place to tell you. I’m trying to respect him.”
“He doesn’t deserve your respect.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it, Pads. You can’t just pretend to hate him because you don’t want to figure out who he really is. If you want to know then you can’t tell him yourself, but don’t expect me to spill every little thing he says to me because you’re too afraid to reach out to him yourself.”
Sirius sits there, pouting. He doesn’t seem to have a response, so James continues.
“I really think you should talk to him, Sirius. You know I’ll always be on your side, but this is all a bit unfair. Not only to him but also to you. You both deserve closure for what happened to you as children. With the way it’s going right now, you’ll never have a relationship with him again, and I know you don’t want that. You can act like you hate him all you want, tell everyone how awful he is, and not talk to anyone, even me, about it. But I see right through all that bullshit. I see how much it destroys you, to finally be near him after so long and unable to say anything to him, and that destroys me too. So, please, just do something about it. Stop hurting him. Stop hurting yourself.” He finishes, breathing a bit deeply.
Sirius stares at him for a moment, and James worries that he went too far, that he overstepped and is going to have a black eye for the first show of the tour. Instead, Sirius nods, defeated, and hugs him.
“I- you’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry.” Sirius says.
“It’s not too late to fix it, just reach out to him.”
Sirius pulls back with a nod and they both settle into the bed. “Yeah, okay. What do you think I should do? Should I text him?”
James briefly thinks back to the text conversation he had with Regulus just a bit before, where Regulus said he didn’t want to talk to Sirius. He considers taking that seriously but decides maybe Regulus’ll change his mind if Sirius is being genuine. “Yeah, you could dm his Instagram.”
Sirius nods, grabbing his phone. “Ok, yeah, I’ll go do that now.”
“Let me know if you need help with anything, yeah? I’m always here for you, Pads.”
Sirius nods. “Yeah, I got it. I’m here for you too, Prongs.”
James thinks he wouldn’t be if he knew the thoughts he was having about his brother, but that’s not important. Now he’s just hoping Sirius doesn’t make this even worse.
—
Instagram
Chat with rab
Sirius
so..
quite the song you performed earlier
Regulus
Is there a reason you’re texting me or are you being a dick?
Sirius
c’mon im just trying to talk to you
Regulus
Have all your shitty comments to me been you trying to talk to me as well?
Sirius
god youre a fucking asshole, y’know?
Regulus
Takes on to know one
Sirius
stop being so damn stubborn, reggie
i dont know why you cant just listen to me
Regulus
Because I don’t want to hear what you have to say? You’ve been nothing but a dick to me, since the award show. Excuse me for not wanting to ‘hear you out’ when hearing you out would just be you excusing the constant berating because your head is so far up your ass that you refuse I’m anything except the Black family name and I deserve to be treated the same way as our parents. Well, guess what, Sirius? I’m not. I’m not and I never have been, and you know that. So if you think I’m going to listen to whatever bullshit excuses you have, when in reality you have truly no valid reason to treat me like utter shit constantly, you’re a fucking idiot. I’m not going to waste my time with you. I have lasted years without you, I will last this dumbass tour without you, and I will continue to last without you for the rest of my life. So let’s just leave it at that.
Sirius
reggie that’s not fair..
Regulus
Oh fuck off, Sirius
You don’t get to preach about fairness
And don’t call me Reggie
Sirius
i want to fix this
i don’t want it to be like this
please, regulus
Seen