When Will I See You Again

Sirius staggered over to Cissa’s bed, the room barely lit by the small lamp on her vanity. Sirius reached out and grabbed one of the posts, collapsing at the side of the bed. His heart was aching, that dull ache you feel after you’ve cried for too long, the kind of ache that makes you want to rip off your own skin. He let out a whimper as he curled into the drapes pooling next to him.

“Sirius?” Cissa crawled to the bottom of the bed, the ends of her silky hair brushing Sirius’s forehead as she leant over him. He felt her fingers ghost his shoulder. “It’s true isn’t it? About Remus?”

Sirius’s heart stopped and he looked up to Cissa. Beautiful Cissa. She didn’t ask to be dragged into this…this mess…his mess. Once again, Sirius had picked another innocent victim to bring down with him.

“He’s a werewolf, isn’t he?” She asked, her sapphire eyes softening. “I won’t say anything, I’ll swear an unbreakable vow.”

“Don’t be silly Cissa. You don’t need to make an unbreakable vow, I trust you.” Sirius used the side of the bed to pull himself up, Cissa sat back casting a lumos to light the room up. 

“Draco told me everything.” She said casually as she summoned over some clothes. “I suspected you might have needed somewhere to stay, so I took the liberty of having your belongings brought down here.”

Sirius instantly recognised the cotton bedclothes, now laid out for him.

“Draco wouldn’t tell me exactly what Severus said, neither would Reg for that matter. But, I expected better than that from you, Rus. I never thought you’d set someone up, to get hurt in that kind of way-”

“Look, Ciss, I didn’t mean for Snape to be put in-”

“I’m not talking about Snape!” She snapped back, eyes now blazing. “HE IS YOUR FRIEND! Do you not realise he could be sent away, Rus? Do you not care for him? What could Severus had said, that was so terrible that you put your friend’s entire future at risk like that?”

Sirius couldn’t respond, he couldn’t tell her. He would never tell a soul, the embarrassment of Draco and Regulus witnessing Snape’s accusations was a bitter enough pill. The only solace was that Draco already seemed very well aware of what Snape was suggesting, and that was enough to tell Sirius everything he needed to know for where his own future was headed. 

Instead, he began to undo his shirt. He winced as he pulled it away from his chest, the blood had dried and glued the fabric to his skin. He heard Cissa gasp at the sight.

“Rus? Did you? What- what were you thinking? Prim!” The small elf popped up next to Sirius. “I need dittany and silver, don’t go home, go to the Malfoy estate and ask Lucius-”

“Cissa-” Sirius warned.

“He won’t tell a soul.” Cissa was now carefully removing Sirius’s shirt. “Tell him it’s not for me, but for an emergency. Tell him he can call in a favour from the House of Black in return."

“Not even the lady of the estate yet, and already you’re handing out favours likes chocolate frogs.” Sirius hissed, as the fabric was finally released from the claw marks across his chest.

“Not even lord of the estate yet, and already I’m considering which institution I’m going to commit you to.” Cissa snarled, she disappeared to her bathroom. Sirius huffed a weak laugh at that, he walked over to the vanity to take a closer look at his wounds. Four deep claw marks slashed over the left side of his chest, slashed over his heart. The poetic irony was not lost on Sirius, he deserved this, he deserved so much worse.

Cissa returned from the bathroom with a bowl and cloth, “Get on the bed” she said, as she passed Sirius.

Sirius got on the bed, laying on the right side which was still neatly made. He closed his eyes while his cousin dabbed the warm cloth over him, he could feel tears begin to pool as the room fell silent. There was another pop, it seemed Lucius didn’t need much convincing to assist. Of course he would still jump to Cissa’s every demand, he thought. The potion sizzled as it mended his skin, the pain almost as sharp as Remus’s claws. He squeezed his eyes tighter at the memory.

“You know, Draco knew Severus well enough to predict him attempting to access the Willow. He told Reg as much, the pair of them spent the evening at the top of the hill, surveilling the area. They saw you carrying Remus down there, they said he looked unconscious and then the pair of you disappeared. Disillusioned maybe?” Cissa poured some more dittany on the wound. “They didn’t see you return, and then around an hour later they heard howling. They said one was certainly a wolf, but the other was more like a dog. A yapping dog.” She looked up at Sirius, who slowly opened his eyes to meet hers.

“Severus still hadn’t turned up, but Draco was nervous, he didn’t want you or Remus getting into trouble. So he ran down here to tell Peter, he didn’t think he had enough time to make it up the tower. Peter told him to stay here with me and he would sort everything out. That was the last we heard of it…Until Regulus attempted to bang my door down, told me that Severus caught a glimpse of Remus through the door, before Potter managed to drag him out. Apparently, they heard the wood shatter as they made it to bottom of the stairs…” Cissa raised her eyebrow at Sirius, she pulled at the skin to check its progress.

“It was me, he threw me into the wardrobe. He’s not usually that unsettled.” Sirius hissed.

“The branches of the Willow threw Potter and Severus a few feet away, I believe Potter is in the hospital wing with a broken leg. Severus escaped mostly unscathed. Reg said he swore a wizard’s oath not to disclose Remus’s condition to anyone who didn’t already know, he swore it to Potter, in McGonagall’s presence. Insisted Severus did the same.” Cissa pulled Sirius by the shoulder, so he was now sitting up, and guided his arms through the sleeves of his nightshirt.

“And why would Reg do that?” Asked Sirius, he grunted as his moved his left arm.

“Merlin knows, but he must have a good reason.” Cissa responded, pushing him back onto the bed and making a start on the buttons.

“And how did Draco know?” Sirius caught Cissa’s hand, she smiled and patted his arm away.

“He’s not an idiot Rus, he’s spent two months living with you boys. You call him Moony for Salazar’s sake!” Cissa’s hands stopped as she reached the top three buttons, her fingers caressing over the thick pink marks across Sirius’s chest, and she sighed. “Such a shame. You had the most beautiful chest.”

Sirius snorted and closed his eyes, Cissa settled next to him casting a nox on the lights. The pair laid in silence. Sirius’s mind couldn’t rest, replaying each moment of the night before over and over in his head. Remus cuddled up to him in bed, running his fingers through that sandy hair as he read his novel. The way Remus snuggled into him, and kissed his palms, and…and the way he screamed and thrashed as his body stretched and snapped back into his human form. The puddle that formed under him, as he shook and whimpered on the wooden floorboards, Sirius’s blood dripping down his arm.

Sirius rolled over and watched Cissa’s shadowy figure next to him. 

“Thank you Ciss.” He whispered.

“I’m sure I owed you a favour, Rus.” She whispered back.

Sirius didn’t leave Cissa’s room for the rest of the week, he couldn’t face Remus. 

He was a coward.

Cissa let him sulk, she of course was well versed in the nature of the men in the house of Black. She let him sit in bed and read, she stroked his hair as he cried, she whispered words of encouragement when Sirius would declare himself weak or a coward. She tried her best to soothe and mend his broken heart. 

Each time an owl tapped at the window, she ran over and collected the envelopes, screening each letter before carefully passing a select few onto Sirius. It seemed she only favoured him seeing post from his mother and Alphard. His mother relayed that his father was delighted in him finally cutting ties with with the Lupin boy. She disclosed that personally she was disheartened hearing of them falling out, that she wasn’t going to pry, but the Lupin’s were always good to keep close. She hoped Sirius reconnecting with them, regardless of their less than ideal blood status would help re-establish alliances, from the old country. Alphard was furious, it was almost like he knew exactly what Sirius had done. Cissa agreed as much, but decided he must receive some sort of punishment for his actions, and their uncle’s scathing words certainly did just that. 

It was Sunday evening when Cissa finally decided to put an end to Sirius’s moping.

“I’ve spoken to Eustace, he said he will sit with you for Potions and Herbology, Fortuna wants you for Defence.” Said Cissa, she sat at the vanity table brushing her long golden hair. “Peter keeps asking for you, I told him you were fine and you’ll be returning to lessons tomorrow. He said Remus is worried about you.”

Sirius felt a wave of dread run over him, Remus darling, you complete idiot, he thought to himself. He put down the novel he was reading on the bedside cabinet and walked over to Cissa. He took the brush from her and run it gently through her hair. Cissa looked at him through the mirror.

“How are you feeling about the dinner on Friday?” She asked, Sirius looked away and began parting her hair into three sections. “I’m sure it will go fine,” she continued “Rodolphus won’t be attending, apparently Orion stipulated it’s family only, not that Bella would mind much. Oh and Rus, please don’t let her wind you up. But, don’t let her make an example of you either. You will head our house soon, and I would like her to be well aware of that.”

Sirius smiled at that, he was never one to be much bothered with inheriting titles, but Cissa managed to instil some pride in their name. For her, Sirius would play the part, even if he didn’t really believe in it himself. Great responsibility came with being the heir, you set the example for the future of your house and family. Every move you made was closely watched and dissected, in Sirius’s case not just by gossips in high society, but the Wizengamot also. His father had made such a mess that they hung on Sirius’s every move, like a game of chess. Sirius hated it, not only was his own future in his hands, but that of Cissa, Reg, Bella, even mummy. One wrong move and that’s it. And one day, he hoped, he will have children of his own. The calculations he made now will set the precedent for them, He hoped it would be a future where his daughter wouldn’t expect to be paired off with a greasy old wizard for the sake of unifying houses, where his son’s worth will be more than just his name. Sirius hoped they will be born into a home full of love and laughter, where he would jump to their every need and fight each one of their battles.

“Rus, which robes do you think I should wear?” Cissa reached back, grazing her fingers over Sirius’s arm.

“The pale blue ones dear, with the silver stitching.” He leant down and kissed her fingers, then continued to plait her hair. “You’ve not worn them yet, and it will look gorgeous with your jewellery.”

Cissa blushed and leant back into him, “You don’t have to always flatter me like that.”

“Ciss, you are the most beautiful Witch in this school and soon to be my wife. Cousin or not, I know I’m the kneazle that got the cream here.” Sirius looked into the mirror and winked at her.

“You absolute deviant, Sirius Black!” She said, scanning her eyes over him.

“Says you, making flirty eyes with me in the mirror.” He gasped, tying a ribbon to the bottom of her braid.

“Well, you’re not so bad on the eye.” Cissa mused.

“No?”

“Well, you’re not my usual sort, but you’re not far off.”

“I suppose I could always glamour my hair some ghastly shade of white behind closed doors. Of course, that would only be for your eyes my dear.” Sirius teased, Cissa turned back and smacked his chest.

“You bastard!” She laughed.

“Oh! We laugh about that now, do we?” He grinned, grabbing her arms. “Tell me, would you spend the evening at my bedside if I found myself knocked off my broom when the season starts?”

“Yes, but I’ll make sure the puff’s know to hit you extra hard first.” Cissa giggled, she rose onto her toes and met Sirius’s lips with hers. She tried to deepen the kiss, and this time Sirius let her. As her tongue met his, Sirius closed his eyes and thought of amber eyes and sandy hair. He felt cruel doing it, but he hoped there was the mercy that when Cissa closed hers, she thought of dark blue eyes and platinum blonde.

The week went by in a blur, Eustace Burke was a fair potions partner, but he wasn’t as attentive as Remus. Sirius took for granted the way that he would lay out the ingredients in the order they were to be added, and how his book would always be open on the next page, ready for Sirius to glance up to when he needed. Sirius spoiled his wide eye potion on the Wednesday. He caught himself staring at the back of Remus’s head, it seemed he had made up with Mary again, as every now and then he would move closer to her and brush his knuckles over her lower back. 

Later that afternoon Sirius was forced to face James in Herbology, Sprout had partnered them to tackle one of the more aggressive bouncing bulbs in the greenhouse. The pair spent the next couple of hours in silence, dodging the attacks and jinxing it into submission. 

Peter was waiting for Sirius in the Slytherin common room the following morning.  

“Hey Sir, wait.” Sirius tried to push past, but Pete was hot on his heel.

“Sirius. Look, this has got silly now. Just-just come up later and try to talk it out with James, yeah?” Sirius paid the boy no attention and sped up his pace. “You can’t not talk to us forever, it would kill Moony. And Draco, what about Draco? And Quidditch?” Peter panted as he continued to chase Sirius through the corridors of the castle. Sirius made his way up the tower to defence, two steps a time.

“You can’t hide forever you know!” Peter called up after him. Sirius stormed into the classroom and found Fortuna, she was sitting in Remus’s seat.

“Thought we’d might as well sit in your usual spot.” Fortuna whispered, as he sat down next to her. She pulled out her books and a large peacock feather quill.

“You know, they say peacock feathers bring bad luck to young witches. Apparently, being in possession of one as an unmarried witch curses them to life of spinsterhood.” Sirius drawled, flicking through his textbook.

Fortuna laughed, a full cackle that made most of the class turn back and look at the pair. “I should be so lucky! I will have to adorn my room with an entire plume in that case.” Sirius smiled, of course she would be Cissa’s favourite from his year. He hoped the Zabini heir knew what he was getting himself into with this witch.

Meadowes began the lesson, “I’ve got a special surprise for you all today, it’s all well and good studying the theory of defending ourselves from beasts, but practical experience is immeasurable. Mr Lupin, if you would like to come to the front of the class please.”

Sirius looked at Remus, and watched as his face drained to a shade of white. Dread filled Sirius’s body as Remus stood from his desk and walked towards the teacher. Peter looked back to Sirius, his face a picture of panic. What is she playing at? Sirius thought to himself, Is this some twisted payback for the other day?

“I thought this would be a bit of fun, I remember hearing a story about your father and a boggart, a few years ago.” The professor smiled, Remus nodded his head, face still blank. “Well, in this chest we have our own boggart. One of my old colleagues came across it and brought it in for us to practice on, what do you say Lupin? Fancy a try?”

Sirius couldn’t believe what he was witnessing, hadn’t Remus suffered enough? Was she really going to ask him to expose his deepest fear to the entire class? In a flash of moments, like a scene from one of those old motion pictures, the chest was opened and the creature released. It pulled and thrashed, flashes of white, thick dark clouds, struggling to decide which form to take. Sirius swallowed the bile that rose from his stomach and jumped from his seat. He moved without even thinking, straight for Remus. As he got closer the creature transformed again, flashes of black hair, pale skin, bright red blood. Sirius pushed himself in front of his friend and faced the shapeshifter directly. 

He stood in front of the class, facing a mirror image of himself, he stared into his eyes and raised his wand. Riddikulus. He watched as the image of himself grew two pigtail braids, stripped down to a bright pink bra and knickers, much like one of the posters on his wall at home. His image sucked on a sugar quill and shot a sultry wink back at him. His classmates erupted into a roar of laughter, and a few wolf whistles. Sirius turned back to Remus, who’s eyes were wet and pink, and walked straight past him. Sirius didn’t stop until he was once again in the safety of Cissa’s room. He didn’t leave the room again until the following evening. 

“Are you ready yet?” Sirius paced in front of the door to Cissa’s bathroom. He wore a dark purple dinner jacket and cravat, a periwinkle waistcoat with silver detailing, to match Cissa’s robes. “I do not wish for us to be late, Cissa.” He called, his fingers twitching for a cigarette as the neves began to set in.

The lock on the door clicked and Narcissa walked out, she looked ethereal, her blonde hair glistening with the silver thread on her robes. Underneath were flowing layers of white shimmering silk. Sirius approached her and held her face to look up to him. She let out a sniffle, refusing to move. 

“What’s wrong dear?” He asked, smoothing his thumb over her chin.

“It’s Samhain, festivities begin at sundown. If it’s not tonight, then it will be at Yule, on the equinox. You know that, don’t you?” Cissa began gasping for breath, the realisation hit Sirius like a brick wall. “I’m not ready yet Rus, I-i’m no-not-” she choked, Sirius pulled her in for a crushing hug. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. 

“We should get going Ciss, Reg and Draco will be waiting for us.” Sirius steeled himself with one final kiss into her perfumed hair. Narcissa took in a deep breath and slipped her arm into his.

Family dinners were a formal affair, everyone greeted eachother with a curt nod, or a kiss to the back of the hand if you were a witch. Sirius ground his jaw as his future sister in law shoved her hand into his, he lifted it to his lips and slopped the wettest kiss he could, making sure he left a thick bubble of spit. Bella smirked up at him. She leant close to his ear, her lips brushing his lobe and whispered, “it’s wonderful to see you again, dear brother.”

Another formality was that witches were to be seen, not heard. This was a contentious topic in the household, as his mother’s parents welcomed all their children to speak freely, something Cygnus chose to encourage his daughters to do often. When they hosted, it was always a more jovial evening. Sirius always took pleasure watching the various shades his father’s face would turn, especially when his mother decided to contribute her thoughts to the conversation. He also took pleasure in watching Bella push the boundaries every time she opened her mouth at their dinner table. They may not ever see eye to eye, but the two cousins much shared the same rebellious streak. 

“Oh aunt Beau!” Bella whined, “Please, please, come and check the mirror in the bridge parlour. It’s the last time we can do the Nos Calan Gaeaf ritual, we will all be married by next Samhain!”

“You know that’s all nonsense, Belle?” Sirius drawled, taking a gulp from his champagne flute. “Every year I slept with nine leaves of ivy under my pillow, supposedly to see the future. I’m still none the wiser as to who will win the Quidditch cup.” Walburga broke a smile and wrapped her arm around her son, leading him into the dark parlour with her.

Sirius took a look in the mirror in the room, only lit by a single candle on the mantle. “Well what are we supposed to see?” He asked, gulping another healthy swig of the champagne.

“Cissa’s future husband.” Bella responded, staring into the mirror. Cissa who was facing away from it, looked up to Sirius. Her face unreadable. Sirius blew her a kiss. “It’s funny though,” Bella continued, “I can’t see him.”

“Oh, well I can.” Sirius teased. “He’s right there, rather handsome chap if I say so myself. Dark and brooding.” Cissa covered her mouth with her hand, letting out a quiet cough.

“Well Rus, it doesn’t matter what you can see. Are you a married witch?” Bella scoffed.

“Oh Belle, that explains why you’re struggling to see much. It’s ritual for witches, not miserable hag-” Sirius was cut of by his mother, “Well sweetheart, I can see Cissa’s husband quite clearly” she winked at her son in the mirror.

Sirius made his way over to Cissa, taking her into his arms, Bella tutted as she was greeted with the sight.

Orion called from the hallway, “Sirius! Boy!” He poked his head into the room, now being lit again. “Boy, what are you doing in here? Playing silly parlour games?”

Sirius glared at the old man and led his fiancé and mother from the room.

“We should have peeled the apple Cissa. I wonder, would the peels spell the letter S… or maybe an L.” Bella started, as desert appeared at the table. “I must say, the fates have been cruel. Forced to marry Rus, but birth a son who looks so much like-”

“That’s enough Belle.” Sirius ground out.

“I’m sure it’s a sore spot for you, you must have your doubts. Must really hurt your pride to have an heir that looks so little like-”

“I SAID ENOUGH” Sirius slammed his fist on the table.

“See I think- well I’m almost certain the boy is not yours, Rus. Tell me, how emasculating is it? To know your wife is to make you raise a son that you didn’t sire?”

“Bella.” Cygnus snapped.

“Tell me Bells, how miserable is it? To go home and be shared between Rolph and his brother? Who’s turn is it tonight?” Sirius leant back into his seat, making a quick glance to Draco who looked terrified.

Bellatrix bristled and her eyes glazed over, a wicked smile spread across Sirius’s face. “How would you feel if your husband came home with the taste of another wizard on his tongue, Belle? Would you not find yourself straying for a little affection?” Sirius swirled the glass of whiskey in front of him. Regulus caught his eye, a storm brewing in his grey orbs, his lower lip jutting out. “Would you not feel hurt, to sleep next to him knowing he is leaking another wizard’s seed in your bed?”

Sirius heard Cissa draw a ragged breath, but he was too far gone now to stop. He rose from his seat and walked over to Draco, who’s eyes were desperately pleading with Sirius, he placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “Narcissa deserves to be adored, she’s the kindest, purest soul I know. She’s raised the most incredible son, I wish he was mine. He’s going to be exceptional, I know it.” Sirius looked down the table to his uncle.

“Let her marry Lu. I am begging you Cyg, Draco has not stopped gushing over his father, he worships your daughter like a goddess. I love her, and I love her so much I want her to live the life she deserves with the man she adores.” Sirius felt Draco’s shoulders tense as Cissa broke into a sob, he rubbed his hand down the boy’s shoulder to the top of his arm. Cygnus’s face softened.

“YOU UNDERMINE ME BOY!” Orion roared from the top of the table.

Sirius paid his father no notice, still focusing on his uncle, who was looking between his daughter and grandson. “You know it’s the right thing to do Cyg.” He gently said.

Sirius turned back to his father, a smile playing on his lips. “Say, father. I’ve truly had my eyes opened in the dark corridors of Hogwarts, who knew the halfblood boys were such enthusiastic lovers?” He gave Draco’s arm a final squeeze and made his way down back to his seat. Flopping into his chair, with an arm draped over the back.

“They really will do anything to please, so attentive.” He picked up the glass and felt the last of his whiskey burn down his throat as he swallowed.

“A STAIN ON THIS HOUSE! A FILTHY STAIN!” Orion screamed, he turned to Walburga who was gripping her glass so hard Sirius was waiting for it to shatter. “Are you happy? Are you pleased? That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? For him to turn out just like him, like your filthy litter mate.”

Walburga glared at her husband, her eyes alight.

“You taint my line, with your-your cursed blood! Muddying my heir, corrupting him, whispering in his ear all the time. I see the pair of you, sneaking off to the parlour of an evening, scheming. Is this what you planned, for him to turn into your miscreant brother? Ruin our good name?” His father was spiting as he stood over his mother. Sirius felt his eyes warm as he watched her look so small under her husband, he wanted to stop him, but his mouth wouldn’t move. 

“Alphard is a disgrace, you know why we had to cut him off. Involving himself in scandal, caught with those muggle boys-”

“They weren’t boys.” Cygnus weakly argued. “It was one man that was aged twenty among them. You know how ridiculous those muggle laws are, a different age of consent for homosexuals! It’s an outrage!”

“And yet, Alphard still went and did it! He was caught with that muggle Minister the next time, there were groups of them in some Molly House-” Orion continued.

“Molly House.” Cygnus scoffed, “Merlin Orion! Remind me, what did you do to assist my brother? I remember it was I who negotiated with the ministry for his charges to be dropped. It was I that stood up to those disgusting, disgraceful muggle laws. There was barely a murmur of the affair.”

Sirius watched his mother’s chest rise and fall, she had let go of the glass now and instead squeezed her hands into fists, her nails digging into her palms.

“Well, it sounds like uncle Alph was having a grand old time.” Sirius poured a full glass of whiskey and necked it, finding all the Gryffindor courage he could muster. “I say, he might be on to something. I’m sure I could find a good little muggleborn to try for myself, what do you think father? Do you think they would ruin me good?” He laughed, manic, crazed. He rose from his seat again, settling his eyes on Bella, who for once had very little to say around their dinner table.

“What do you think Belle? Think I could find one who would fuck me? I reckon I might enjoy it.” He grinned, eyes wild. Bella couldn’t bring herself to look at her cousin, her mouth twitched as if she were going to say something, but she seemed to have thought better of it and remained silent.

Sirius turned back to his father, to be greeted with a wand pointing to him. “Go on father, go on I dare you.” He started, walking over to his father until the wand was prodding into his chest.

“CRUCIO!”

Sirius heard his mother scream as the pain washed over him, there were scrapes of chairs behind him, he pushed himself further into his father’s wand. He started to laugh again. “It that all you’ve got old man? I don’t think you really mean it.” He goaded. 

“CRUCIO!” The man roared. Sirius felt his knees about to buckle, but pushed himself further into his father’s wand, until their noses touched.

“You’re weak. You’re a weak crazy old man.” He taunted. His father struck him again, this time stronger. Sirius’s ears began to ring and dots came into his vision. His mother was screaming, wailing for her husband to leave her boy alone.

“That’s enough Orion.” Cygnus called from behind, Orion turned to face his brother in law and Sirius took this as his chance to make a run. He staggered, moving as fast as his legs could carry him. He could hear his father’s crazed ramblings “I will avada that boy! And if you think of chasing after him Walburga, I will kill you aswell-”

Sirius threw himself into the fireplace, calling for Slughorn’s office. He dragged himself out from the soot, hoping the bumbling professor was still hosting his party. It seemed in that respect it was Sirius’s lucky day, the room was entirely empty. He forced his legs to keep moving, carrying him to the only place he thought he’d be welcome. Finally, he was met with he portrait of the great squib bard. Sirius closed his eyes, remembering his chosen sonnet, forcing the words out through the waves of pain that wracked his body.

“Till whatsoever star that guides my moving,

Points on me graciously with fair aspect,

And puts apparel on my tatter’d loving,

To show me worthy of thy sweet respect:

Then may I dare to boast how I do love thee;

Till then not show my head where thou mayst prove me.”

The portrait swung open and and Sirius stumbled into the dark alleyway. Reaching out in front of him, his hands met a solid chest and he smelt the familiar cent of Chanel perfume. He collapsed into the boy and his body began to shake. 

“Gil?” His voice barely a whisper.

“Oh my dear.” The boy whispered back, taking him into his arms and lips brushing Sirius’s forehead. “Come on. We’ll go have a snuggle, and you can tell me who’s upset tha' bonnie wee face of yours.”