Memory of You
The remaining weeks of the holidays were perhaps the worst ones Harry had ever experienced and that was saying something considering how poorly they were spent at Private Drive. No one found it fit to tell him anything, not even Hermione and Ron. It was as if Draco had been wiped clean away from anything and everything. The integrity of the mission had to be protected, was the bullshit line he was fed by anyone when he dared to ask.
Harry chose to let it go as best as he could, but most nights were spent clutching onto Draco’s Slytherin scarf, that Harry’d pilfered from the blonde’s trunk before he’d left for the Manor.
The rest of the holidays he spent reading over his school material at Sirius’s bedside or joining Narcissa in the study as she sewed and sewed aimless patterns into a sheet of fabric to keep herself busy. Out of everyone in the house, he felt that she was the only one who understood just how much fear he was fighting over the two most important people in his life. Angry at both of them, angry at the world that required such huge sacrifices.
Remus joined him more often than not in Sirius's room, white faced and always unable to glance properly at his friend. There was a story there, Harry knew but he found himself too tired to ask much. They sat in relative silence, trying in their own ways to will Sirius back to life. The relief he felt when they were finally back at Hogwarts surpassed his guilt at leaving his godfather.
He did not find Draco as they were loaded onto the train, nor did he come to find them. It was the first time in six years, even when they were quasi-enemies, he’d always made sure to make his presence known.
It took almost a physical effort to keep himself in place as the train rattled along. Hermione and Ron were at that stage of their relationship where they could barely keep away from each other for more than a few minutes. He was happy for them even as his own heart clenched painfully in his chest. He played several rounds of Exploding Snap with Luna and Ginny until he couldn’t bare it any longer.
With an inane excuse that he was sure no one really believed, Harry slipped out of the compartment.
He found Draco easily enough, just two compartments over squashed into a booth with all of his Slytherin friends. An unfamiliar, dark haired boy sat with them telling a joke that had everyone breaking out into hysterical laughter. Theodore Nott, he supposed.
As they spotted Harry lingering at the doorway, the laughter hurriedly died down. He got a suave nod from Zabini and a tiny, slightly sad smile from Pansy. How much they knew, it was unclear, but they knew something had changed in some form or shape.
Harry’s gaze slid past them to Draco, who was looking a strange mixture of confused and angry as he watched him in the doorway. Almost as if he knew him but couldn’t quite place him. He looked as he always did, unfairly attractive, but he’d gotten thinner and more drawn. Those beautiful grey eyes that had been so enraptured with him just weeks before, now looked strangely lifeless. He looked akin to how he’d looked back when they’d learnt of Bellatrix torturing Neville’s parents.
“What do you want, Potter ?” even the way he said his name was different now. How had so much changed in just two weeks ? But then again, it had changed just as quickly when Harry had befriended Draco. Enemies to friends to a something and now ? What exactly were they supposed to be ? Could Draco forget him that easily ?
“I—” he frowned as the words stumbled on his mouth, “I—can I talk to you ?”
“Certainly not.” Only it did not come from Draco’s mouth but Theodore Nott. The dark haired boy was looking at him with a jaw set in steel. “Lines have been drawn Potter, you should stick to your side.”
“I—Draco ?”
Draco’s eyes closed for a brief second and he looked almost pained. But when he opened them again, that look of polite disinterest was back and he shook his head slowly, “Theo is right, Potter. Go back to your compartment.”
“But Draco—” Pansy began, she slid a desperate look at Harry. It seemed as if she hadn’t been filled in then, left to stumble willy-nilly much like Harry. “What happened ? We were—were—”
“No!” Draco’s voice was sharp, “I told you this Pansy. We can’t be friends with the Gryffindors anymore. Out, Potter!”
When Harry slammed his way back into his own compartment, all of his friends were studiously silent.
“What’s wrong with him ?”
Hermione was the one who chose to answer. She twisted her hands into a bundle in her lap, “We didn’t want you to worry about him, Harry.”
“What’s wrong!”
“Mate,” Ron tried to interject but Harry waved him away.
“Tell me. I’m sick of everyone deciding that I’m not privy to anything. Tell me right now, Hermione!”
“He doesn’t exactly remember everything,” the bushy haired girl admitted, her eyes were rapidly filling with tears. “In order to properly infiltrate the Dark Side, his memories had to be modified. Dumbledore managed to tuck the most intimate ones away and plant a few false ones, so should Draco be subjected to Legimancy by Voldemort, it would be believable. No one knows of Grimmauld, so it was laughably easy to forge some documents that Draco and his mother were staying in Muggle London after Narcissa had a brief argument with Lucius. Draco had come down for the holidays, because his parents wanted to fix things or so the lie goes.
Snape managed to do a similar memory bending spell on Lucius into accepting this version of events and no one suspected a thing. Although it took quite a while for Bellatrix to accept this, so I’m told, but she's batty and suspicious of everyone. With Voldemort it was easier as he had never met Draco before, so he could hardly tell the difference. His friendship with you was made quite insignificant and only as a means to gather information for Voldemort by the order of Lucius. Snape will still guide him this year and Draco will still place his trust in his godfather. Therefore, confiding in him and perfectly fulfilling his mission. Dumbledore thought of all the loopholes, coached us through everything. Draco agreed to do it.”
Harry felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him, “So he doesn’t remember me ? Or our friendship ? Or anything ?”
“He remembers bits and pieces. There's a battle brewing in him, Harry. What actually happened and what he's been told to believe. His actual friendship and love for you and the false memories telling him that he'd only befriended you for Lucius."
He wasn’t sure which was worst, Draco not remembering anything or Draco believing it had all been for a lie carried out by the order of his father.
Stomach churning, he doubled over and heard Ron’s aborted shout.
“Oi! Get him something to—”
Out went his lunch into the basket, Hermione had hastily conjured. When Harry sank back down, he began to think up ways he could look after Draco without him knowing and thus began the year of the Great Stalking of Draco Malfoy.