Chapter 6
Remus spent the night at the Inn even though James desperately wanted him to spend the night at their house. Remus knew James wanted him there but he had a feeling that Regulus wanted him gone. Pandora seemed to have forgotten about him, but none of that mattered anyway Remus didn’t plan to stay the night no matter the situation. He needed a minute to think over everything.
He didn’t sleep much that night. He went between kicking himself for making such a dumb decision and reassuring himself that it was the right thing to do. By the time the sun made it to the sky Remus was still arguing with himself.
He left to go get coffee and he saw James talking to the locals. James spotted him and waved goodbye to the women he had been talking to and rushed over to Remus like a giddy child.
“Moony!” James gave him a bear hug, which Remus lightly reciprocated, he was too tired for this much energy.
“Hey Prongs, what are you doing here this early?” He asked and followed James into a building. James knew exactly where he was going and waved to a few more people before stopping in the produce aisle.
“Getting oranges for Reg.” He says and starts to bag a few oranges. Suddenly Remus remembers the sight he had seen yesterday where James had his arms wrapped around Regulus. Remus already knew he was right but there were still a few pieces to the story he was missing and he needed to know them. Remus should talk to him about it somewhere more private.
“James, could I talk to you about something rather important.” James gave him a look and something about it gave him the feeling James knew what it was.
“Of course.” James stood there waiting for him to say something.
“In private.” He clarifies and James nods. He pays for the oranges and they leave. They didn’t speak again until they got back to Remus’s room.
Something about this was oddly familiar, except it was reversed. He remembers James and Lily sitting him down and trying to get him to talk about his issues. James had taken a softer approach while Lily verbally and almost physically slapped him. Remus didn’t know how he was going to go about this but it wouldn’t be the first time that week he had gone into something half blind.
“You said you left because you had someone to protect.” James nodded. He had his hands at his thighs and he was lightly tapping them. He looked like he was preparing to be hit.
“You left to protect Regulus?” There was a silence.
“Yes.” James said firmly. Remus let out a sigh and sat down on the ledge of the window. Remus looked up at James and he looked relieved to say the least. He followed Remus’s lead, now knowing that Remus was not going to start a fight, and took a seat on the corner of the bed waiting for Remus to say something.
“When- how did this even happen!?” Remus asked, raising his voice slightly.
“How did you even talk to him? He hated us.” The entire situation was confusing, it was like a one in a million freak accident.
Remus had few memories of Regulus and he didn’t even talk in any of them. He just glared, constantly. At Sirius, his friends, strangers, the entire damn world and yet James had been able to get him to stop and smile. Remus was never convinced Regulus was some horrible demon child that feeds off the misery of others like Sirius and the entirety of Hogwarts had painted him to be but he didn’t ever think Regulus would be good.
Regulus kept to himself and seemed to fall in line with the rest of the Slytherins that would end up being death eaters. Sirius had always said Regulus would be just like them, even after Regulus “died” Sirius would only refer to him as his ‘death eater brother’. Remus hadn’t expected Regulus to be anything else.
“I was trying to convince him to leave Grimmauld, and-” James cut himself off.
“I don’t know how to explain it, it just happened.” Unfortunately for James, that wasn’t a good enough answer for Remus.
“How long has this been going on?” James didn’t say anything, he bit the inside of his cheek and it looked like he was trying to find the proper words.
“That's also hard to explain-” He tries again but Remus doesn’t care.
“How long?”
“Four years-” James sputters out and Remus freezes.
“FOUR YEARS!? You’ve been doing this since we were in sixth year!?” Remus yells. James nods a bit nervously. He didn’t know what to do, he held his head in his hands and tried to breath and calm down but it wasn’t working.
“You can’t be fucking serious.” He mumbles to himself, but it was a lot louder than he intended to.
“No, I’m fucking Regulus-” James jokes and cracks a wide grin.
“Now is not the time, James.” Remus snaps and James shuts his mouth. He takes a moment to think. How the hell could they have been dating for four years without them noticing? James was horrible at lying, especially Sirius. Why hadn’t they asked questions?
“You dated Lily.” Remus said. That was why they hadn’t asked questions. James and Lily had dated for a little over a year before breaking up part way through seventh year.
“That's where it gets complicated-” Remus nearly saw red. Half his mind wanted to shout more. He was trying to make up his mind on it when James started talking more.
“I know what it sounds like- but I did not cheat on her.” He said firmly. Remus could still feel an anger bubbling in his chest, but he would listen to James. He said he didn’t do anything so Remus would hear him out at the very least.
“Me and Regulus had been dating, and Lily found out. She was not happy in the slightest because Regulus did not have a good reputation.”
“Because he was a death eater.” Remus said softly, filling in the space James didn’t want to say.
“There is no ‘was’ Remus. He has never been a death eater. I made sure of it.” His words were sharper this time and he was staring like he was waiting for the words to stab into him with an understanding.
“But Lily found out and after I explained she wanted to help me not get caught. So we lied about dating.” Remus wasn’t sure what the hell was going on anymore. It had all been a lot in the past day. How had all of this happened, James had secretly dated Sirius' little brother for four years. Lily knew about it, does she know that they're here now?
“I know it’s a lot-”
“Yeah James you fucking think?” He snaps.
“We thought you were dead. Sirius thought you were dead, were you just planning to spend the rest of your life in Ireland?”
“If that kept Regulus safe, yes.” James had no waver in his voice. This was fact and Remus knows that if he hadn’t shown up yesterday the funeral he had replayed in his mind would have become a reality. Except James wouldn’t have been dead, he would be out hunting bloody horcruxes with a man just as dead as him and some person with a fake name.
To the world James was dead. How was he supposed to go back knowing otherwise? He had seen Sirius cry over James. A part of Remus mourned James, he didn’t like to pay attention to that part of him but it was there. Remus had mourned him even though there was no body and no grave.
It wasn’t as simple as that anymore. Remus had mourned him, he had been mourning him but he was no longer dead. James was fighting in a war, the same war he had been fighting in for two years but on a different side. Not the good side or the bad side, some third that no one knew about. He was so angry, and he was so fucking sick of being angry. He had been angry his entire damn life and now one of his best friends were alive and they had a plan to end the war but he was still fucking angry.
“You could have told us, we could have helped you keep Regulus safe.” James laughed.
“I thought about that, but they would have dragged him back.” Remus could see the thoughts going on behind James' eyes, but Remus isn’t sure if he would understand them. Remus isn’t sure what he understands anymore.
“Do you remember in fifth year when Sirius got disowned.” It wasn’t a question, not really. James already knew Remus remembered it, how could he forget. Sirius rolled out of the fireplace half dead because his parents had crucioed him so much he couldn’t remember his own name.
“They were doing the same to Regulus.” His voice was broken. Remus couldn’t say anything. He didn’t know what that house was like, Sirius didn’t like to talk about it. Remus had been able to piece together a few things. The cruciatus curse had happened once, the night he left but that was it. They had hurt him in different ways because they were abusive, horrible, people but they hadn’t used unforgivables until that night. The way James said it made Remus uncomfortable, he knew what James meant before he even said it.
“He got back from the holidays and I could see it.” They didn’t say anything for a long while.
Had James felt what he felt? Had he wanted to kill them when he saw Regulus hurt like that? Did they want them to suffer and bleed out slowly for what they had done? Had he thought about it as he talked to Regulus like Remus had thought about it when he talked to Sirius? Had he thought about it and decided not to because then you would be taken away for your crime? Had he thought about all of that and decided to try and protect him instead?
“I’m going back today.” Remus’s voice cut through the silence.
“Give Sirius a hug for me?” James asked and Remus nodded.
╶◁⦻▷╴
Sirius was ecstatic! He had gotten a letter from Remus right before patrol yesterday that he would be coming back in the afternoon today. Sirius was practically buzzing, he had missed Remus, he had missed the warmth of him and was itching for it back.
Sirius had made the decision to get the two of them the chinese take-out that Remus says he hates but scoffs down in a minute. He also has the Ziggy Stardust album playing and the music floats through the empty flat. Sirius doesn’t mind the flat this time, because it wouldn’t be empty soon.
He kept himself busy doing random meaningless tasks until he heard the door crack open, the second he did he knew it was Remus it was obvious. He opened doors in a very particular way, He opened it slightly but fast, then open it the rest of the way slowly. He had pointed it out once and Remus disagreed and then continued to prove him right.
“Sirius, I’m home.” Remus didn’t even get to close the door before Sirius was kissing him. Remus returned the kiss and closed the door with his foot. It felt like he hadn’t had a proper kiss with Moony in ages, and he might not have, but now he tasted new, fresh, it made Sirius smile.
“Glad to know you missed me.” He chuckled.
“Shut up prat, I’ve got food waiting.” He goes to the kitchen to heat up the take out a little.
“You can cook?” Sirius gives him a look and Remus knows the answer. Sirius could make toast and that is about it. Effie, bless her heart, had tried on several occasions to teach her sons how to cook but every single time something caught on fire.
The first few times either him or James would purposefully set something on fire with a spell, but Effie caught onto that quickly so she ended up taking their wands and forcing them to actually try. They were cooking omelets and they weren’t paying attention for one second and they turned around again and it was up in flames.
The microwave beeps and a part of him thinks about the fact that Effie might kill him for using a microwave to heat something. If he didn’t know any better he’d think microwaves would be Effie's mortal enemy, but he did know better. So he knew Effie’s true worst enemy was that portrait of some woman that snitched on her to her head of house during her third year.
He placed the food in front of Remus and he sighed. Sirius saw the small smile on his face and didn’t say anything. Sirius had his feet propped up on the chair across from him and took a few bites from his food before he said anything, he had been starving.
“I have a surprise for you.” He said with a grin, Remus looked at him for a moment trying to guess what it could be from the look on his face alone.
“What would that be?” He asks when he isn’t able to come up with a possible answer.
“Bunch of our friends are coming over tonight.” Remus’s eyes lit up and Sirius grinned more.
“I didn’t tell any of them you went out on a mission but me and you will know tonight will be to celebrate you being back.” Remus smiled and took another bite, but there was something off about his smile.
“How did it go anyway?” He asks.
“You know I can’t talk about-”
“I know, I know, I just want to know if it was good or bad.” Remus paused, he was hesitant.
“It went well.” He says finally. Sirius has a weird feeling that something was off about how he said it but he didn’t pay mind to the feeling. He had a tendency of being paranoid, part of the black family curse Andy always says.
People started arriving at five and by then Sirius was excited to get pissed and forget his paranoia. Marlene, the best of all of them, had brought all the ingredients to make her famous lion shots she made at the end of sixth year by accident.
She was the second last to arrive though. First there was Peter, then Lily and Mary, Marlene, and finally Emmeline. The second Peter and Marlene found each other they took shots, it was a tradition for the two of them considering they were the only two capable of handling vodka and actually liking it.
Mary started talking with him and shoved a cup of firewhisky in his hand. Sadly he didn’t realize that it had been a distraction. Mary was not chatting with Sirius because she wanted to catch up with her dear friend, no she had been there to stop him from realizing Emmeline was changing his beloved Queen record to ABBA.
Mary smiled as Sirius relished in the fact he had been so foolish. Mary rushed off to grab Lily who had been smoking with Remus and dragged her back inside to dance. Marlene saw what was happening and broke out into a grin. She didn’t like ABBA as much as the other girls but after living with them for seven years she couldn’t help but scream the lyrics.
“ROCK ME, GIVE ME THAT KICK NOW!” The three of them screamed. Sirius bolted to the record player and tried to rip off the record but found out they had stuck it on there with magic. Sirius debated to get his wand and take it off but he didn’t. He would let them have their fun and instead he would stand outside by Remus.
Remus was still smoking and based on the smell it was one of his special ones but he still had his regular ones sticking out of his back pocket. Sirius plucked it and grinned when Remus gave him a look. He stuck one of the cigarettes in his mouth and looked at Remus.
“Are you serious?” Remus asks and he immediately realizes his mistake. He took the cigarette out of his mouth to say his line.
“I’m always Sirius.” and put the cigarette back in his mouth waiting for Remus to do the trick. He snaps his fingers and there’s a small flame. He lights Sirius’ cigarette and he’s grateful. Sirius found out Remus could do this a couple years ago and he hasn’t lit his own cigarette since.
They didn’t say anything, just enjoying each other's company. Sirius looked in through the window and saw Mary and Lily dancing together and he didn’t look away in time to miss Mary giving Lily a kiss.
Being by Lily and Mary made him feel guilty. They were happy together, but if you asked him and if he was drunk enough to give you an honest answer he would tell you that he would rather have James and Lily together. Sirius finished his cigarette and walked inside to get a drink.
The girls were still going strong with ABBA and they had been able to drag Peter into it too. Sirius grabbed the first bottle he saw, which happened to be goblin gin, drank it until his throat was on fire and joined them.
So long, see you honey!
Whenever Peter gets drunk he becomes horribly competitive. He always played card games with his uncle so Peter knew how to gamble at the age of six. He didn’t tell anyone about this for years and because of that he challenged James to a game of poker when they got drunk for the first time, and then Sirius, and then Marlene and continued on like that until he went through all of gryffindor.
“Emmeline!” He calls from his seat at the dining table holding up a pack of cards. Emmeline grins and Sirius knows he has to save her.
“No no no no” he says and grabs her by the shoulder
“You can’t win against him, he took 400 galleons from me.” Emmeline's smile doesn’t waver.
“I’m sure I can handle myself.” And takes a seat across from Peter. Sirius leaves it up to the fates, she will learn soon enough.
You can’t buy me with your money!
You know it’s not worth trying.
Marlene was at a phase in her drunkenness that she starts to get sad, which means shes had to drink a fucking lot because it’s not easy to get her to that point.
“She’s just such a bitch.” Marlene slurs with her head on Sirius' lap. They were sitting in a corner a little bit away from everyone else so she could talk without anyone overhearing her.
“She just gave me up so she could go do order shit. I fucking hate her, she’s so cruel, shes always been so fucking cruel.” Sirius listens as Marlene rambles on about how much she hates Dorcas Meadows but he knows she doesn’t really. She knows she doesn’t really.
“I miss her so much Sirius, I haven’t seen her in weeks. I don’t even know if she’s okay.” Sirius understands her words more than he would have liked, he wishes she would stop talking. She doesn’t though, she just keeps talking.
“Go find her then.” Marlene closes her mouth for a second and looks at Sirius like he's an idiot.
“I’m not supposed to, she told me not to.”
“Go find her anyway, if you don’t you’ll regret it.” Marlene is quiet a little bit longer before she sits up. She drinks the rest of whatever is in her cup before she gets to her feet.
“I will.” She says sharply, as if she just agreed to a challenge. She turns around and goes for the door and within a few seconds she's left.
So long, so long, so long.
Remus was kissing his neck and his hand was wrapped in his curls. Sirius could tell this wasn’t going to go far but he liked Remus being close.
Sirius pulled at his curls and brought his mouth back up so he could kiss him. The taste of oranges was long gone and was replaced with the strong cinnamon taste of firewhisky. Remus pulled away and laid down beside him.
“Do you think Lily will send us some of her hangover potions?” Sirius asked and Remus smirked a bit.
“I bloody hope so, I don’t want to deal with a headache tomorrow. I’ve had enough of those this month.” He pulls Sirius closer by the waist and traces the lining of his face with his thumb.
“I don’t know what made you but I need to thank them because they did a fantastic job.” Sirius laughs and Remus kisses the underside of his jaw softly.
“Usually when were drunk we fuck, whats got you so sappy?” He accidently slurs the last of his words.
“Am I not allowed to compliment you?” He shoots back.
“You are, you should do it more in my opinion. I need someone else other than myself to tell me how perfect I am.” Remus laughed and for a few more seconds Sirius thought everything was alright. That Remus hadn’t done something dumb and dangerous, that he was his Moony and he was good but he saw it and now he wasn’t sure anymore.
On Remus’ palm there was a new scar he hadn’t seen before but was very recognizable. It was three circles within each other and lines cutting through it making smaller sections. His uncle had one of these; he never figured out exactly why he had made one but he knew what it did. It links your blood with someone else’s and ties you to them with a deal. The pact contaminates your blood.
Why did Remus have this contaminating him? Why would he need to do this? Who was it linked to? Sirius wanted to ask but he could never do that with Remus. He always seemed to lose his words with him, sometimes it's sweet, other times it's frightening.
What have you been doing Moony?