Chapter 2
How the fuck had she done that!? The entire place and herself had transformed in a mere few seconds. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?
“Common pretty boy I haven’t got all day.” She complained and the comment threw him off, he had seen what he looked like, how was he a Pretty boy? She must have been able to see the confusion because she smiled and pointed to a mirror.
“That mirror sees through most magic pretty boy.” She was correct, his reflection showed what he had gotten used to seeing everyday when he brushed his teeth, it showed nothing of the face Sirius had transfigured for him.
“What is it you need?” the woman barked, she was getting rather annoyed.
“I need information.” She smirked.
“How much money do you got on you?” she asks, slipping back behind her counter.
“How much does the information cost?” Remus prompted and the woman's smile widened.
“You should really undo that spell, the three warts aren’t a good look on you.” She pulled out three boxes and a marble.
“Anyway, we're going to play for the price. Sounds good to you?” She was going to cheat. It was obvious, but he was just going to have to figure out how. He was willing to play if it meant he had a chance to not pay anything.
“Yes.” Remus said and the woman grinned wildly.
“Perfect. Now this is the game, I’m going to place the marble under one of these three cups and I’m going to switch the cups around. All you need to do is keep an eye on the cup with the marble.” It was a muggle game. She was a muggleborn, or a half-blood at the very least. She knew muggle games that purebloods didn’t and she used it to scam them out of money. Well Remus knew how the game worked and he knew how to win.
In school being able to use wandless magic meant that you were powerful, a few Slytherins had been able to do it and they flaunted the skill around like a gold medal. Remus had also been able to do wandless and wordless magic on occasion but he’s gotten better at it since his time at school. Now he can do several many tricks without a wand or words, including moving small objects and he planned to put that skill to use.
The woman began to switch the cups around and Remus pretended to be shocked by how fast the cups were moving. In reality he was waiting until he could have his chance to grab the marble.
His chance came when he saw the woman lift up two cups ever so slightly and knock the marble under the other cup but before it could be set down again Remus moved the marble so it would roll under the palm of his hand. She switched the cups around a few more times before stopping and glaring at Remus.
“Your eyes become amber when you use wandless magic.”
Fuck.
“Where’s the marble?” Remus displayed the marble and she frowned more.
“You cheated.”
“You were going to cheat.” Remus said and the woman looked appalled.
“How dare you accuse me! I run a fair business here and if you think I would-”
“I know the game.” Remus cut her off and she looked stunned for a moment but focused again and tried to say something but Remus decided to do so first.
“Muggle game, right?” The woman realized she wasn’t dealing with some dimwitted prueblood. That he knew that she probably wasn’t as ‘pure’ as most of her buyers thought she was. That didn’t stop her from trying to get his money.
“Fine, we’re both cheaters. How about you pay thirty galleons?” Like he was going to fucking pay that. He will, but she doesn’t need to know that.
“Ten galleons.”
“Fifteen.”
“Deal.” He said quickly, she held out her hand and they shook on it. Remus grabbed fifteen galleons but before handing them to her he asked a question.
“Do you know anything about horcruxes?” The woman went a little still. She scanned him to see if he was joking or not, she would realize that he wasn’t. The woman smiled and she nodded. Remus gave her the galleons and she placed them in her register.
“Tell me what you know.”
“I don’t know much.” Not the thing Remus wanted to hear.
“Their dark magic and I have no clue as to why you’re interested in them, but I know a place where you can find out a lot more about them.” Now that was better.
“Where?”
“It’s a library on the shore. It’s called Lotus Walls. It's known for having extensive knowledge on rare things. If you’re going to find information on Horcruxes it’s going to be there.” He’s heard of that place, Lily raved about that library constantly during their fifth and sixth year.
“There's a portal key you can use to get there. It’s on Quinnip road, sits on top of a large boulder. You can’t miss it.”
Remus nodded and thanked her for her help. She gave him an enthusiastic bow and kicked him out of her shop. Though he thought she could have been a bit more polite about it he understood it. She couldn’t really sell anything if she was talking to one customer that had already got what they paid for.
Remus took his time getting back to the flat, he liked the feeling of the sun on his face and after the trip to the library he doesn’t know how long he’ll be cramped up at his desk again. When he eventually stepped through the door Sirius was laying on the couch and Rebel Rebel was playing. He took off his cloak and threw it over the arm of the couch. Sirius shot up to look at Remus waiting for him to say something.
“I’m going to be heading out again tomorrow.” Remus said quietly. Sirius opened his mouth to say something but before he could get it out Remus interrupted him.
“I’ll explain more but first please undo whatever spells you did, some of these warts hurt.”
“Okay, get over here.” Sirius laughed and grabbed his wand. As he undid the spells the dull pain that began to form went away with it, once he was done Sirius got him to explain.
“There’s a Library I need to go to, that's all.” Sirius seemed unsatisfied with his answer.
“Can I go with you?” Sirius asked.
“No, you know you can’t.” Sirius groaned.
“Why not?” Sirius snapped.
“You know why.” Remus snapped back and got up trying to end the conversation before it turned into a fight, Sirius on the other hand was welcoming the fight because he got up and followed Remus out.
“Because it’s a part of that top secret project Dumbledore gave you?” He yelled and Remus didn’t reply.
“Remus, I can help! I’m the one that gave you the name of that shop aren’t I!?” Remus spun around to look at Sirius who was already staring at him in the eyes.
“Dumbledore gave the task to me, not you. I’m going alone.” Remus stared at Sirius, but he could stare all he wanted. Sirius had gotten used to the look by now after receiving it so many times because of all the stupid stuff he did at Hogwarts.
“What about the woman who owned the shop? She could be setting you up, she owns a dark artifacts shop for merlin sake!” Remus scoffed.
“That's what the disguise was for!” Remus shouted not mentioning the mirror that saw through the carefully placed illusion.
“So even if this was some ambush she won’t recognize me.”
“Remus it’s the middle of a fucking war no ones going to a fucking library to go research some random thing on a Tuesday! It’s not gonna be hard to figure out.” They stared at each other for a while letting the silence settle between them because one was waiting for the other to give in, but Remus and Sirius had known each other since they were eleven and James once said he’s never seen a more stubborn pair, and he was right.
Neither of them backed down when they argued. One of them may realize that they were wrong later but during the fight the only way to win was making it clear that you had no intention of losing.
“I am going to the library tomorrow whether you like it or not and I’m going alone.” Remus spoke in a low unwavering voice and walked away before Sirius could respond. Sirius didn’t try to follow him this time and instead locked himself away in the bathroom and turned on the shower.
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Sirius let the room fill with steam. He rested against the wall across from the shower and let the thick air fill his lungs. He isn’t actually quite sure why he does this. For a long time he would just smoke if he needed to sit with his anger, and he still does, but if he can he’ll do this.
It first happened back when he had first moved in with the potters. Him and Remus were fighting because of the idiotic mistake he had made that year, Remus wasn’t able to look at him. James had just gotten out of the shower and Sirius went in after him to brush his teeth. There was so much steam that the things in front of him were blurring. Sirius loved it.
It was so suffocating but it was also so warm. It was like one of James crushing bear hugs. The sound of running water was calming to him, he had never liked the ocean or even really lakes. There weren’t any around where he grew up so he had never grown to like them.
Regulus liked water. It was so weird. The entire time they were at Hogwarts Sirius could swear whenever he saw Regulus not even two feet away from him was water. It could be from a goblet of water to the great lake, it didn’t matter Regulus was always by water. It freaked him out a bit if he was honest, it’s like he and water were tied together. Fuck, even in death Regulus was still close to the water. He was buried right beside a fountain.
Sirius hopes Regulus is happy where he is buried.
He wonders where James liked to be buried.
The thought makes him want to peel off his own skin. James isn’t dead. James can’t die, he’s James. Sirius hate’s that he has to remind himself that. That his best friend isn’t dead, he’s just not here. That he’s not been here for two years. That he’s been off helping the Order on some mission Dumbledore assigned him when he was 17 and that they are not allowed to ask about.
Sirius loves Effie as if she was his own mother but what the fuck was she thinking letting her freshly graduated son go off on a mission no one knew anything about.
When James first left he didn’t mind it all that much, he missed James like he would a limb but he would be back. But days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and the mantra that Sirius had been repeating to himself, he’ll be back soon, had stopped working. Now he wishes he could go back in time and at least have the chance to convince his friend not to go.
He wishes James and Lily didn’t break up. If they hadn’t he would have stayed. James couldn’t stay away from the girl no matter what the situation was, James Potter loved like the sea loves the sand. When they were dating he was the happiest Sirius had ever seen him, when they broke up James wouldn’t move.
Sirius couldn’t get him out of bed, not even for quidditch. He had no idea what to do. Sirius has helped his best friend a lot but this, this was something horrible. It was like something in James had died, like he was grieving that part of him.
Then one morning he did get up, and he got up the morning after that, and the morning after that. He was moving again. He still seemed off though, he was no longer grieving but now he was dealing with something new.
Looking back on it now Sirius knows that James had felt guilty. Because the night before he had been offered to go on a mission from Dumbledore himself and James had excepted it. James was guilty about leaving, and yet he never said a word.
Sirius thought about those final days a lot, he thought about when he found out. He had woken up in the morning and Effie gave him the news. She offered to owl everyone else but Sirius refused and thought he should do it.
Marlene was the first to show up. She practically kicked down the door and started yelling about how they needed to go find him. Peter was on board with her plan, the three of them had been friends since they were children, of course they didn’t want him to go.
Remus had suggested they let him be. It’s not that he didn’t care that James left, it’s that James had made the decision to go and Remus stood by James' decision.
Sirius had been somewhere in the middle. Of course he didn’t want James to go, James was his brother, he was a part of him. Though He couldn’t force James to stay just because he wanted him here, that was selfish so he agreed with Remus. Not a day went by that he didn’t regret that decision.
Sirius got up to turn off the shower but he didn’t leave the bathroom yet. His hair had gotten a little frizzy, that was the worst part about these things. His hair always got frizzy when it was humid, that’s why he tended to hate spring.
He complained about it a lot but he felt he had a right because it made him look like Bellatrix, and who in their right mind would want to look like Bellatrix. He turned on the sink and let the water run over his hair. He dried it off with a towel and his hair returned to its normal curls.
When Sirius stepped into his room Remus was already in bed. He wasn’t asleep though, he was pretending to be but his jaw was still clenched, it’s never clenched when he’s actually asleep.
Sirius changed into a pair of pj pants but kept his queen shirt on and laid in bed. Neither of them said anything but Sirius pressed his back against Remus’s. He didn’t move away.
Sirius didn’t fall asleep until late. That's the only time he ever falls asleep now, it’s mainly because of worry. There's a bloody war going on everyday he wakes up he looks through the daily prophet to make sure no one he cares about has died. So it was hard not to worry, but he also hated that he never had any dreams. He used to have dreams every night but one day they just stopped.
Waking up and only remembering an eerie void makes you feel cold. It's horrible. Though he wants it to stop he’s not sure if having a dream would be much better. It would be red. So so red, with the lights of spells shooting off in the distance and the yells of vaguely familiar voices.
No matter if he wanted to dream or not Sirius always ended up falling asleep, and this time when he woke up Remus wasn’t there. He saw a note on the dresser and he didn’t even need to read it to know what it said. He had already left for the library, and Sirius was left alone in the flat cold.