Wherever you stray I follow
The more that you say
The less I know
Wherever you stray,
I follow
I'm begging for you to take my hand
Late November, 1976
When Regulus leaves Dumbledore’s study after their conversation, a part of him expects James to be waiting outside to comfort him. To ask him what happened.
He isn’t.
Regulus isn’t hurt by this— not really. He knows Dumbledore told James and Pandora to go back to their respective houses. It’s just that, well, he can’t help but think that he would have waited for James. Found a way to not be found by Filch or whoever else. Maybe flashed his Prefect badge or threatened someone.
There’s also the fact that James has the invisibility cloak, so he really could hide without issue. Although, James did receive pretty intense news from Pandora as well, so maybe he’s just seeking out comfort in his friends. In Sirius. Regulus ignores the way that thought causes his heart to twinge.
Maybe, Regulus thinks, James is just giving him some space. Regulus is notorious for being— solitary. He knows people think of him as cold or intimidating. It’s true, in many cases, but in reality, Regulus just has a shell. Underneath it, he can be just as soft as other people, it just depends on who he’s dealing with.
He’s also never wanted space from James. He’s never really asked for it. Never really taken it. He’s never needed to. James doesn’t drain him, not like other people can. James does the opposite, really. He comforts Regulus. Makes him feel warm and not-so-destined to miserableness. Regulus still hasn’t forgotten the change he felt in himself after moving in with the Potter’s and spending time with James. James placed bits of the sun in him, brightening his whole being. He still does that— there are so many bits and pieces now that if it wasn’t for everything else— if it wasn’t for fate and time and a prophecy, it might make something whole inside of Regulus. He can’t remember if he was ever like that before— whole. If he was, it’s not something he can remember. For as long as Regulus has been aware of himself, his consciousness, he’s carried a deep and unwavering sense of loneliness inside of himself. It ebbs and flows, to be clear. His friends make him forget how he feels, sometimes. Sirius used to. James always makes him forget about it.
It worries him— how much he’s begun to depend on James. Especially after tonight’s conversation with Dumbledore, he’s well aware that there’s going to come a time soon when he can’t rely on James. Not because James won’t want to be there for him, but because he can’t be. Regulus is going to have to do a lot to get where he needs to and none of it is safe. He can’t put James in the middle of it.
Not too long ago, Regulus told himself that once he had James he wouldn’t let him go. He thought that for James to leave him, he’d have to be pried out of Regulus’ hands as he clawed to get him back. Now, he wonders if he’ll have to be the one to do it. To let him go. To keep him safe.
Regulus realizes now that he loves James enough to let him go if that’s what it takes for him to be safe. Regulus doesn’t love James selfishly. He’ll make James leave him, even if it’s not what either of them want, to protect him.
He just hopes it won't come to that.
—
James sits in the Come-and-Go room, waiting anxiously for Regulus to meet him there. They didn’t explicitly say they’d meet there, but it’s common sense, isn’t it? This is where they always meet. It’s where they go to hide, to talk, to be alone. If Regulus wanted to tell him about what happened, this is the first place he’d think to find James.
So, James waits.
And he waits.
And he waits.
And Regulus doesn’t come.
—
Barty and Evan are awake when Regulus enters the dormitory. They’re not just lounging about, getting ready for bed. No, they’re very clearly waiting up for him.
Regulus stops in the doorway and stares at them. They stare back, rather expectantly, Regulus notices.
Before any of them speak, Regulus takes a moment to look at the two of them. These are two of his best friends. Two of the people who know him best in this world. Probably care about him the most, too.
His eyes roam over them. Barty’s messy dark hair and sharp features. Evan’s pale blonde hair and soft blue eyes. They’re so familiar to him. They’re constants in Regulus’ life. They always have been, even before he realized it. He grew up with them. Even back when Regulus would barely say a word around others and acted as Sirius’ shadow, they noticed him. Waited for him to be ready for their friendship.
His heart swells a bit, looking at them like this with the fate of the war looming overhead. Pandora had said earlier that in the other timeline, where the first prophecy is fulfilled, the two of them would die. She didn’t specify if they survived this one, but Regulus tells himself that they will. That he’ll do whatever he has to, to make sure that they don’t die.
He bites his lip, trying to think of a proper way to greet them. It’s clear they know something. Pandora probably gave them some kind of heads-up before going to bed. They’re probably angry with him for how he spoke to her earlier. He doesn’t regret it. He stands by it. He’s angry. He’s been betrayed. They’ll have to deal with it.
Regulus opens his mouth to speak but falters when he notices something. Barty and Evan are sitting together on Evan’s bed, which isn’t all that unusual, but there’s something different this time. Evan’s cheeks are flushed and Barty’s lips are redder than usual and slightly wet. The sides of their thighs are pressed together, pajamas against pajamas. Barty’s arm is propping him up slightly, but it’s placed behind Evan, his hand coming out the other side to be on the bed next to Evan’s hip. Regulus recognizes this look. He’s been there, with James.
His eyes flicker between the two of them, unsure of whether he should ask about that right now. Before he’s decided, Evan is the one to break the silence.
“So,” Evan begins. “Want to tell us what’s going on?”
Regulus bites his lip again. He feels his palms begin to get clammy. He owes it to them, after everything, to give them the truth.
“Not really,” Regulus admits.
Barty scoffs then, shaking his head. “Y’know, Reg, I love you, but you’re driving me insane. I’m getting tired of your bullshit— all of the secrets. I don’t know what we have to do to convince you that we’re here for you. Ready to help you however we can,” he pauses a moment, looking up to the ceiling, “We’re supposed to be best friends. You’re supposed to tell us stuff, trust us. Have we done something to make you think otherwise? Because it feels like it. I’m sure James knows all about it. I’m sure James is aware of everything going on in your life, isn’t he?’
“Don’t bring him into this,” Regulus hisses. His anger is rising quickly and he knows it. Barty knows how to push his buttons and he’s doing it right now.
“Why not?” Barty argues. “Is it not true? Is James not in on every little secret you have? Hm? Does he not have more of your trust than we do? Even though you’ve known him for what, four months?”
“I’ve known James for years,” Regulus grumbles. He knows it’s a weak response. He had barely spoken to James before he moved in with him. Even then, he didn’t start to know him until the term began.
Barty lets out a laugh, but it’s not humorous. It’s cold. Cruel. “Don’t make me laugh, Regulus. You barely spoke to him before you two started— doing whatever it is that you do. Now, he’s your secret keeper. It must be nice for him. To be so deserving of your elusive trust and attention.”
Evan places his hand on Barty’s knee, a clear attempt to calm him down. Barty looks over at him, and Regulus watches as something passes between them. He sets his jaw and looks away from Evan, looking back to Regulus.
“And what about this?’ Regulus demands, gesturing at the two of them. “Was I going to be filled in on this? Don’t even— don’t try and act like I’m imagining whatever this is.”
“Maybe if you actually spoke to us, or spent any bit of your free time away from James, you’d know more about what’s going on with us,” Barty snaps. “Do you know what’s going on with any of your friends, Regulus? Or are you too busy acting like the world revolves around you and your problems to care? Too busy being a dick to Pandora?”
“Barty,” Evan warns. He looks between Regulus and Barty, clearly worried about whatever the two of them will say to each other next. Barty and Regulus can both be rather— short-tempered, with each other. They have a habit of hitting each other where it hurts. Going in for the kill, if you will.
“It’s a bit hard to not feel that way when you’re told that the fate of the war rests on you!” Regulus explodes. “When you’re told that if you don’t fulfill a prophecy then everyone you love, including the two of you, will die! When you find out that someone who’s supposed to care about you fed information to Dumbledore! So, yes, I’m sorry, Barty, that I haven’t been keeping up with you, I’ve had quite a bit on my plate!” When Regulus says that, Barty is visibly taken aback, his head moving in surprise and his mouth dropping open slightly.
“What?” Evan asks, his voice quiet. His brows are drawn together and the look of shock on his face is so intense it’s almost comical. “Reg, what did you say?”
Regulus sighs, deflating slightly. He screws his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I— It’s a lot. There’s been a lot going on.”
“Then tell us, Regulus,” Evan urges. “You can’t just— drop what you did and not tell us what you mean. I mean— a prophecy? And we were supposed to die? Who fed Dumbledore information and what about?”
“Pandora,” Regulus says, opening his eyes. “Pandora did. She told him about the prophecy—”
“The prophecy?” Barty questions, his voice slightly shrill. “What prophecy?”
“The one that Pandora saw,” Regulus reminds him. Is he actually going to play dumb? Pandora told Regulus that the two of them were there. They must have some idea.
“Pandora saw a prophecy?” Evan asks, incredulous. “I didn’t even realize she could do that? I thought she just kind of— saw stuff happen sometimes? What was it?”
“You really don’t know?” Regulus asks, a bit unsure of himself now. Barty might fudge the truth sometimes, but Evan rarely does. “Pandora said you didn’t know, but she also said you were there, so I figured…”
“We were there?” Barty looks completely lost. “What the fuck?”
“I know what he’s talking about,” Evan says, his eyes wide. “The hospital wing. Remember, Barty? After Regulus was attacked.”
“Oh,” Barty breathes. “Fuck— I mean, fuck. I didn’t— I didn’t realize that’s what that was. She didn’t tell us anything, Reg, I swear. I mean we had no clue it had anything to do with you.”
“She didn’t,” Evan confirms, looking at Regulus genuinely. “She took your hand and kind of went wonky— freaked out. She told us she saw how the war ended, but nothing else. She took off after that and went home because of Abraxas. I— We forgot about it, honestly, with everything else that’s been going on.”
“How you two would forget to mention to me that Pandora touched me and said that she saw the end of the war is beyond me,” Regulus shakes his head. “And you two have been acting weird. So has Pandora. When she told me— I figured you had all been hiding it from me.”
“We were freaked out right after,” Barty admits. He rubs the back of his neck. “But we kind of lost track of it after that because she wouldn’t give us any details and you were still in the hospital wing. We didn’t know who attacked you— still don’t, mind you, so that was stressful. And like Ev said, she left for home not too long after. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. We were probably acting weird for a number of reasons, but not because of that.”
Regulus heaves a sigh. A big one. One that Barty would usually tease him for. He doesn’t this time. Regulus finally walks forward, taking a seat on the edge of Barty’s bed so that he’s across from him and Evan.
“Are you going to tell us what the prophecy is?” Evan asks. He’s waiting. So is Barty.
“It’s a bit unbelievable, honestly,” Regulus sighs again. “Dumbledore told me that— that I have to be the one to end the war. It’s up to me. I have to be the one to end it. That’s what the prophecy says.”
“What?” Barty practically yells. Regulus winces slightly. “What do you mean it’s up to you? Did the prophecy say that? Like, did it actually say “Regulus Arcturus Black has to end the war” because otherwise—”
“No,” Regulus cuts him off. “It didn’t say that, but there’s not much room for interpretation. I don’t think Pandora told the prophecy, at least based on what Dumbledore told me. I think he had it already and then she saw whatever she did and it included me and she told him. He must have pieced it together from there.”
“Why would she tell him?” Evan puzzles. “I mean, we all know Dumbledore is a piece of shit. Why would she do that?”
“No clue,” Regulus shrugs. “She said she had to. She said she was scared.”
“I just want to say,” Barty coughs. “If I had realized this, I wouldn’t have called you out for being a dick to Pandora. I had no clue— I just knew she came from running into you and James and she was crying. So— sorry, Reg.”
Regulus arches a brow at him. He’s not sure if Barty has ever apologized to him before. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not,” Evan disagrees. He shoots Barty a look. “We planned on approaching you calmly. Obviously, that didn’t work. We just wanted to know what was going on with you.”
Regulus chuckles at that. Evan and Barty, approaching a problem calmly. It wouldn’t be far off if it was just Evan, but once Barty’s involved? Yeah, not going to happen.
“That’s not all of it,” Regulus’ smile falls. “My free time hasn’t just been spent with James. I… I’ve been attending training sessions with Dumbledore and Alastor Moody for about a month now. Dueling, mostly, but next is Occlumency, potions. Not sure what else.”
“Training?” Evan draws his brows together. “What for?”
“For Regulus to end the war,” Barty answers. He looks to Regulus for confirmation. “Right?”
“Right,” Regulus nods. “They’re sending me home this summer. Back to Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore wants me to play double agent.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Barty growls. “They’re sending you back there? With your family? And to spy? Are they mad?”
“Probably a bit,” Regulus quips, half-heartedly. “I know it’s bad, but I don’t know, I’ve had some time to come to terms with it. When I come back from break I have to start befriending the other Slytherins, get in the crowd with all of them. That’s why I wore that pin the other day— I’m trying to set things up.”
“I’m assuming James knows?” Evan raises his brows at Regulus, who nods. “Does Sirius?”
“No,” Regulus shakes his and drops his eyes to the floor. “He doesn’t. I don’t— I’m not sure if I’m going to tell him. There’s so much I haven’t told him. I don’t know how he’ll take it. I won’t be able to control his reaction and— I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
“He won’t be able to stop you,” Evan murmurs. “But you’re worried he’ll try to go back with you, aren’t you?”
Regulus’ shoulders sag and he nods. He’s tried not to think about it too much, but that is a big part of it. Sirius is so protective of Regulus. After what happened over the summer, Regulus knows he won’t want Regulus to go back to Grimmauld alone. Sirius will never be able to fake it, though. He’ll get himself killed.
Barty lets out a low whistle. “I didn’t even think about that. He’s such a bloody headcase, he totally would try to do that.”
“I don’t think he likes you either,” Regulus laughs, quietly.
“What?” Barty exclaims, placing his hand on his chest in mock outrage. “Me? Not liking your wanker of a brother who abandoned you with your insane family and walks around the school like he’s the hottest shit alive? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“You know that’s not how it went,” Regulus defends Sirius. He usually does, around his friends. “He had to leave.”
“Don’t care,” Barty shrugs. “He’s not my friend, you are. He hurt you when he left, so I don’t like him.”
Regulus doesn’t argue with that. It’s nice, honestly— to hear Barty be so unconditionally loyal to him. Sometimes he forgets how good his friends are to him. They really do love him.
“Anyway,” Evan says, drawing out the last of the word. “I think you need to tell Sirius, Reg. He deserves to know, especially with everything you’re going to have to do when you get back from the holidays. I mean, I’m not his biggest fan either, but I don’t think he’ll handle that very well.”
“Oh,” Barty chokes out a laugh. “No, he bloody won’t. It’ll break him, Reg, if he thinks you’ve turned all dark on him. It would be a little bit funny at first, honestly, but I think it would just be sad after that.”
“I know,” Regulus groans, dragging a hand over his face. “How am I supposed to tell him?! I haven’t told him about this, haven’t told him about Snape attacking me, haven’t told him about me and James. I mean, that alone is going to be—”
“Snape what?” Barty interrupts, all humor gone from his voice. “Snape is the one who attacked you?”
“You said you didn’t remember,” Evan says, his jaw set. “Snape is the one who put you in the hospital wing? Reg, what? What the fuck?”
“Shit,” Regulus whispers. “I— I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t know why I said that—”
“I’m going to kill him,” Barty growls, getting up and grabbing his wand.
“No! Barty, stop!” Regulus grabs him by the arm. “I need him, okay? For the war. He’s friends with some of them— Mulciber and Flint. I need him to get me in with them and that’s all I have. He told me he knows something is going on between me and James and without this— I have no control over him. He’ll tell everyone and everything will be fucked.”
Barty freezes and stares down at him. The glint in his eye is downright murderous, but Regulus holds his gaze. He needs Barty to understand, to calm down.
Finally, Barty nods, shaking Regulus off. “Fine, but if he so much as looks at you funny again, Reg, I’m using that as an excuse to beat the shit out of him, do you understand? I won’t say a thing about the attack, but— I’ll do something to get back at him.”
“I’ll do the same,” Evan informs him. “That’s just— Reg, you almost died. He almost killed you. He can’t just get away with that, even if you need to blackmail him.”
“Why can’t we beat the shit out of him and you can blackmail him?” Barty asks, genuinely.
“Because he’s a freak,” Regulus tells them, looking between his two friends. “He’s far too unpredictable. I just need to do it this way, okay? I need you to trust me.”
Barty and Evan both give him a look and okay, that’s warranted. He probably shouldn’t be talking about trust with them after keeping things from him the way he did. He looks at them, pleadingly, “Please.”
Barty opens his mouth to speak, but Evan is quicker. “Okay, Reg. We’ll trust you, but you need to start trusting us too. You need to start telling us things. We need to know what you’re getting into because it’s going to dictate what we do too. You know— you know that my dad wants me to take the mark, eventually. If that’ll help you then—”
“No.” Regulus shakes his head. “Absolutely not. I will not let you do that because it might help me. There’s no fucking way you’re going to do that.”
Evan smiles at him sadly. “I might not have a choice, Reg. You’re not the only one with bad parents. It’ll just help if I have to do it and know what exactly I’m getting into.”
That’s true, actually. Regulus hadn’t even thought about it because of everything he’s had to deal with himself. Evan is the heir to the Rosier family. His parents are deeply involved in Regulus’ parents’ circle and staunch supporters of Voldemort. He probably will have to get the mark.
“I’d get it too,” Barty says, his voice quiet. “For you, I would.”
“Barty,” Regulus whispers. “No, no way. Your dad— he would kill you. You could get killed just doing things as a Death Eater. I will not have your blood on my hands.”
“Nothing I do will make my dad happy,” Barty reminds him. “And you know disappointing him is my favorite hobby. Why not take it all the way?”
“Because it’s dangerous,” Regulus hisses. “Part of why I’m doing this is so you two don’t die. If you want to help me or help end the war, you’ll find another way. Join Dumbledore for all I care, but you will not become a Death Eater.”
“We don’t have to talk about this right now,” Evan sighs. “Although, you never did explain that part. What do you mean we die with that other prophecy? How do you know?”
“Pandora told me,” Regulus seethes. He can feel himself getting angry, just saying her name. “She said you and Barty both die. She didn’t tell me how.”
“That’s absolute shit,” Barty chides. “Good thing that’s not going to happen. What is this other prophecy anyway? Do you know?”
Regulus hesitates. He’s not sure if he should tell them— isn't sure if it’s his place. He hasn’t even told James yet, but then again, James wasn’t waiting for him. Barty and Evan were.
“It’s not about me, that one,” Regulus tells them, his voice trembling slightly. “It’s about a child. One who’s not even born yet.”
“A child?”
“Yes,” Regulus confirms. He meets Evan’s eyes. “James’ child. James and Lily Evan’s child, if it was ever born, would be the one to defeat Voldemort. James and Lily would both die, and it’s likely their baby would too. The war wouldn’t end for over a decade. You two would die, I would die, Sirius, thousands of others.”
“You’re telling me,” Barty starts, “that there’s a timeline where James Potter actually bags Lily Evans and has a kid with her, and then… they’re destined by fate to all die?”
Regulus nods. It is pretty ridiculous.
“Merlin,” Barty breathes out. “Tough fucking luck for those two, huh? Really not meant to be, if you ask me.”
“Barty,” Evan scolds. “Really?”
“What?” Barty puts up his hands in surrender. “I ask again, am I wrong? Does that sound meant to be to either of you? I don’t think so!” He cracks a grin at Regulus. “Besides, I’m rooting for Regulus and James, prophecies or not. He might be a little bit too pure-hearted for me, but he makes you— happy. It’s nice.”
“Thanks, Barty,” Regulus grumbles, his cheeks flushing. He’s rooting for him and James too. He’s not sure if there’s still a chance of Lily and James getting together and that prophecy being fulfilled, but he’s telling himself there’s not. It’s not just selfishly motivated, either. Based on what he knows, it’s better for everyone if that doesn’t happen.
“Does James know about this yet?” Evan asks after rolling his eyes at Barty.
“No, not exactly,” Regulus murmurs. “I’m going to tell him though, I swear. I just didn’t see him after Dumbledore’s office. When I see him next, I’m going to tell him.”
“Can’t wait to hear how he takes that,” Barty wonders aloud. “Let us know, yeah?”
“You are such a menace,” Evan shakes his head at Barty, but he’s smiling slightly. “Although, I’ll be curious to know as well.”
“You two are both menaces,” Regulus shakes his head, but a smile twitches on his lips. He straightens his expression and looks back at them. “I’m not sure if you two need to be told this, but I won’t be speaking to Pandora. Not after this. I don’t care what the circumstances were, she should have told me first.”
“Okay, mate,” Barty nods. Regulus is surprised, honestly, that he doesn’t argue with him about it. Maybe he gets it. Regulus nods back and turns to Evan. He doesn’t look happy about it, but he nods too.
“Okay, then,” Regulus smoothes down his robes and takes a seat on Barty’s bed again. “Now that all of that is out of the way, what else have I missed?”
Barty shrugs. “To be honest with you, not much. Although I do just want to say, Reg, if you're going to be a spy, you should probably work on a few things. Like letting shit slip that you’re trying to hide. I mean, you blurted out that Snape was your attempted murderer like it was nothing.”
“I was under duress,” Regulus glares at him. “I’m also being trained in Occlumency, so that’s not going to happen.”
Barty raises a brow at him but ends up shrugging. Evan doesn’t say anything, but he looks at Reg curiously. “I thought you were a natural Occlumens? Doesn’t it run in your family?”
“I can occlude to some degree,” Regulus agrees. “But it’s not perfect. I end up out of sorts afterward, sometimes. I think it’s because I don’t know the theory. You are right though, natural Occlumens and natural Legilemens run in my family. My mum is a Legilemens.”
“Of course she is,” Barty scoffs. “Of fucking course Walburga can invade people’s minds. She’s such a bitch, mate— in every way possible.”
“She’s still his mum, Barty,” Evan says, looking up at the ceiling like he’s begging the universe for patience. Or maybe for Barty to be struck down.
“Still a bitch too,” Regulus admits, and Barty roars with laughter. Regulus and Evan begin to laugh too and it feels so nice, laughing like that. Making fun of his mum. Being teenagers. Regulus didn’t realize things like this would be taken from them so soon. He would have appreciated it more.
Once they’ve calmed down and the laughter has begun to fade, Regulus tilts his head at Barty and Evan. They’re back to sitting together, all pressed up against each other. It looks like the sides of their bodies are glued to one another.
“So,” Regulus begins. “Were you going to tell me about this or…?”
“Oh, this?” Barty asks, gesturing between them. “Yeah, of course. Wasn’t necessarily trying to hide it from you, it just kind of happened.”
“How long has it been going on? I mean I didn’t even know you were— that either of you were…” Regulus trails off. He still has a hard time saying it. He’s not sure why.
“I didn’t know either,” Evan tells him. “I don’t think Barty did either. It just kind of happened, the same night as you and James. After the Quidditch party when we beat Gryffindor.”
“Mhm,” Barty hums. “I mean, I always knew Ev was fit and all that, but never thought about it much beyond that. Once we had some fire whiskey and the dorm to ourselves, though. Well…”
Regulus raises his eyebrows at them. “Merlin.”
Barty laughs, loudly and Evan smiles fondly at Regulus.
“So what are you two then?” Regulus asks. “Are you— dating?”
“It started out as just some fun,” Evan tells him. “Now? It’s…”
“It’s still fun,” Barty fills in. “A bit more, too.”
“Huh,” Regulus says, tugging on his curls. “Well, er, congrats?”
“Thanks, Reg,” Evan chuckles.
“Your approval means everything to us, Regulus,” Barty jokes, but there’s some seriousness to his tone, too. Like it really does mean something.
“Don’t thank me for that,” Regulus mutters. He doesn’t know what else to say. He’s not completely sure that he wants to know all the details. “You’re sure there’s not anything else I’ve missed?”
“Well,” Barty laughs and throws his arm around Evan’s shoulder. “Are you aware of the fact that Dorcas is completely obsessed with one Miss Marlene McKinnon?”
“McKinnon?” Regulus splutters. “What? Is everyone gay?”
“Y’know, Reg,” Barty says, moving his head back and forth like he’s considering. “I’ve been wondering that myself. Between you, me, Ev, and James, I figured it was some kind of pureblood defect. Years of inbreeding, or something, but Dorcas is a half-blood, so guess that’s not it.”
“Maybe she’s an anomaly,” Evan offers, thoughtfully. “I mean, there’s Sirius too.”
“Sirius?” Regulus’ jaw drops. “What are you talking about? Sirius isn’t— Sirius always has a girlfriend.”
“Hasn’t in a while though, has he?” Barty argues, raising a brow.
“That doesn’t mean he’s gay.”
“No,” Evan agrees. “It doesn’t, but have you seen the way he looks at Lupin? He’s infatuated.”
“They’re friends,” Regulus protests, weakly. His brother always has been different about Lupin. He loves James and all of his friends, yes, but he’s more delicate about Remus. More reverential.
“Boyfriends, maybe,” Barty waggles his brows suggestively at Regulus, a wide grin on his face. Evan laughs beside him, his shoulder shaking.
“Oh, Merlin, quit that,” Regulus groans, falling back on the bed. “You’re going to make me vomit.”
“Your mum is going to be so pissed when she realizes she has two gay sons,” Barty chokes out through his laughter. “And they’re both in support of Dumbledore!”
Even Regulus has to laugh then because it’s so true. His mother would be so, so appalled by the way he and Sirius are turning out.
“Not to mention,” Regulus adds, “That I had to pick James. She hates James.”
“James Potter: Public Enemy Number One to none other than the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” Barty chortles, and even though Regulus can’t see him, he knows he’s smacking his hand against his knee as he laughs.
Regulus joins in, and the three of them laugh and laugh and laugh because it’s funny , and well, how on Earth did they get here?
Regulus doesn’t know. He doesn’t think he’ll ever know, but in a way, he’s grateful for it all. Grateful for the life he has and the people in it, even if it’s a shit show most of the time.
—
A couple of hours later, all three of them are in bed. Barty is clearly asleep, if his snores are any indication. Regulus is not, however. He's lying awake, staring at the ceiling again.
"Evan?" Regulus calls out, quietly. He's not even sure if he's still awake.
"Yeah, Reg?" Evan responds. His voice is soft.
"How am I going to tell Sirius?" Regulus whispers. He knows he sounds childish, but he's scared. He doesn't know how to do it.
Evan is quiet a moment and Regulus knows he's considering the question before he answers.
"You just do it," Evan finally says. "You just tell him. Just be honest with him and tell him what you need. I know he can be a bit much, but he loves you, Regulus. He loves you so much. He'll be okay. You guys will be okay."
Regulus sits with that. Even if he struggles to recognize it, or believe it, he knows Evan is right. Sirius does love him. He'll probably be supportive, as long as he can get over any initial anger he might have about Regulus keeping things from him. James keeping things from him.
"And," Evan continues, "I think it'll help, telling him. I know how much you love him, too. He's your big brother. You're going to need him throughout all of this."
"Yeah," Regulus chokes out, his voice embarrassingly thick. "Yeah, you're right."