Drabbles

“Merlin, that man couldn’t have more BDE if he tried,” Ginny mused, eyes narrowing on the far side of the courtyard. In her periphery, Ron tossed a miniature Quaffle to Harry. 

It was a sunny spring afternoon and it seemed that everyone was taking advantage of the weather, their peers milled around chatting or sunning themselves in their brief respite from classes.

Ginny was sitting beside Hermione on the low stone wall that framed the courtyard, Harry and Ron standing beside them. It was odd to be a Seventh year and still have her brother attending Hogwarts, but after the shambles of his own Seventh year, an Eighth had been established, giving anyone who wanted it a chance at closing out their education.

Ginny turned back to her group as Harry caught the Quaffle with middling expertise. 

Ron raised his brows at her. “BDE?” he asked, nonplussed.

Hermione, who’d been pretending to read, made a show of putting her finger on the page and turned toward Ginny, too. 

“Big Dick Energy,” Ginny explained, sparing him a glance on her way to assess why Hermione had stopped fake-reading (something she did quite often when wanting to covertly eavesdrop) to become suddenly invested in the conversation. 

“Ginny,” Ron complained, “don’t say dick.”

“You asked, Ronald.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder as she rolled her eyes at him. “And anyway, I wasn’t talking to you.”

“You said it right at me.” Ron gave her a flat look.

“She’s right though,” interjected Harry thoughtfully as Ginny clucked her tongue. “I mean, assuming you’re talking about Malfoy.”

Ginny and Hermione’s eyes cut to him instantly.

“I am…” Ginny said slowly. “Why? You agree?”

“That Malfoy has Big Dick Energy?” Harry scoffed. “Uh, yeah. He’s the biggest dick I know.” 

Hermione, who’s gaze had tracked past Harry over to the blonde where he stood talking to some friends, made a little sound in the back of her throat, her attention snapping back over to Harry.

“What do you mean?” she asked, voice a touch higher than normal. “How do you know?”

“Well it’s in the way he walks, isn’t it? I mean, just look at him.” Harry gestured to where Malfoy was clapping Zabini on the back and smirking about something. “He’s 100% Big Dick.”

The girls blinked, momentarily stunned, and then Ginny made a little hum of understanding.

“Harry–” she began, having realized his misunderstanding, but Hermione interrupted with a shrill, “I’m sorry?”

Harry looked at her skeptically. “Are you disagreeing?” 

“What? No. I mean, how would I know?” Hermione stammered.

“Anyone who’s ever interacted with him should know it,” Harry insisted with mounting incredulity. “I mean, Merlin, the way he rides a broomstick? The way he always fusses with his Quidditch kit? You should see him in the locker room, Hermione. Utter, utter cock.”

“I–” Hermione had gone a very attractive shade of red, which Ginny observed with a slowly tilting head. “That’s–” Hermione shook her head but her eyes had gone back to Malfoy, who now leaned against an archway, alone.

“And what do you think, Ron?” Ginny asked, tone excessively curious.

Her brother rolled his eyes. “Let’s just say Malfoy puts McLaggen to shame.”

Hermione squeaked again and Ginny had to roll her lips in, pressing them together hard to hide her grin. She knew that Hermione had finally had it out with Cormac, determined to either reap the rewards of his cockiness or finally put him in his place (and had been pleased to end up achieving both).

“Right.” Hermione stood abruptly, then looked around for her bag like she’d suddenly recalled that she had one. “I’ve just remembered I have a very large…erm, assignment…or…or book.” She got her bag on, fluffing her curls out from under the strap with an absent hand. “You know me. Anyway. Got to go. See you at dinner.”

She marched off without a backwards glance, her trajectory distinctly not toward the library. 

“See you at breakfast!” Ginny called after her, then threw her head back and cackled.

“What’s got you shrieking like a sodding Banshee?” Ron muttered, digging around in his pocket and withdrawing a packet of Droobles.

“Oh, nothing.” She watched over Ron’s shoulder as Malfoy caught sight of Hermione’s approach, pushing off the stone with his shoulder so he stood to his full height. “Just enjoying the exquisite display of selective hearing exhibited by each of you.” 

Across the courtyard, Hermione was tilting her head at Malfoy, saying something that was making him smirk down at her with the exact sort of hubris which had originally caught Ginny’s eye.

“Eh?” Ron passed the packet to Harry, unwrapping a piece for himself and looking up at his sister with a questioning expression. 

“I was testing a theory and, as usual, I was right.” She held out her hand for the gum.

“What theory?” Harry handed it over, leaning back against the stone and crossing his ankles.

“That you two are dullards, that Hermione is consistent in her pursuit of the best, and the last…”

She watched Malfoy say something then incline his head to the castle. Hermione bit her lip and nodded. She went first and Ginny couldn’t contain her grin when Malfoy took half a second to look skyward, like he couldn’t believe his fucking luck, before strolling casually after her. 

“...well, I’m sure I’ll find out the last over my morning tea.”

Ginny caught Ron’s frustrated expression at her vague response and so smacked her gum loudly to further piss him off, leaning back with a victorious little flick of her brow when he groused.  

Boys were idiots, she thought with a fond sigh. And sometimes pretty little curly-haired girls were, too.