ruined
For anyone reading thank you
I love you very much 🤍
I AM BETTER OFF
NOW THAT WE DON'T TALK
I heard rumors and whispers
I had people come and ask me and I can't pretend anymore that everything was or is fine that we "worked it out" cause truth is we didn't
We never did
You changed and I didn't have a say
I never did
I was suffocating in that relationship
I have everything only for you to give less
I tried sharing the truth but I can't
People believe what they believe
They believe what you said
Everything
I lost the right to say anything when I started talking to you
You chased me and yet at the end I chased you
"Stop! Talk to me will you"
"Fuck off I have nothing to say . Your just looking for a problem"
"I'm looking for a problem?" I asked in disbelief as he walked away and started throwing my things to the ground "why don't you go vist your mother! Here take that and leave now."
"What?... No!"
"Hurry up and leave now before I fucking do something about it." The door slammed shut as is at there my eyes blurry as I looked at the ground my clothes on it as I started packing the door opening again "love?..."
I looked up tears on my face as he wiped a tear away "even crying your pretty" I smiled before I felt his hands slip around me bringing me into a hug kissing my head and hand "your beautiful,love"
I looked into his eyes and just felt like a sting to my heart as I knew it wasn't true saying it doesn't mean he feels that I am he says it to everyone his nights are publicly talked about I mean him himself talks about his nights even talking about me, my body, and how he has me in the palm of his hand like he says "I always have them to play with. Cute little things" when I first heard I thought about jumping off of very tall something's even going as far to do things that I thought would grab his attention and say something so distinct from everything else he says yet it never happened and so I looked at him as a flash of light came through, a camera light and not just one but multiple as I tried getting out the room he grabbed me and pushed me on the bed trapping me as he smirked it was his signature a smirk so many women and girls knew from their nights
Feeling his hand on my leg felt weird like it was the first time but the first time was great amazing even but now it just feels different and not a good different but I'm sure other women would say marvelous things all women and girls I see the same as me hair and eyes
I questioned him once and he exploded
Yelling at me before locking me in a room leaving me to beg him to let me out he soon realized that he couldn't do that so he let me out and showered me with love,roses and presents making me forget everything that happened but in the back of my mind I knew .
I never brought it up again in case he locked me in again but I did have a list in my mind knowing that every girl that goes in that king size marron bed was me
Me in different ways
My clone
Yet not the same just looks
And also something he didn't understand was roses. White roses in fact
White roses symbolize loyalty, purity, and innocence.
I always thought it was just nothing at first but then every time it was white roses and not to say anything as it's beautiful but for him it was a sign
A sign of my loyalty to him
To never betray him
My purity that I still had when I met him but not anymore no..
And my innocence
My innocence was distorted and gone
Long gone with everything else I had
All I had was him
It was always him .
He always said how he dreams of me
Before he met me
And even then he still did
Dreaming of the things he'd do to me
Whispering sweet nothings
In my ear in a room full of people
And every time I blushed and hushed him
And like clockwork
Every time
Words came from his mouth
The same words every time
And when we'd leave
Everything he said in my ear
Became true
And so now
I sit here and think that
I always knew that my life would be ruined one way or another it was destined to be changed,ruined, and just absolutely fucked by someone or myself
Short chapter 😭.
810 words