MINDY
It was a sunny afternoon for Mindy when she decided to have a coffee at the nearby cafe. She missed the humid air of this city, to be honest. Los Angeles was fun, she had a lot of opportunities as a model. She even had a project in New York for a luxury brand. And right then and there, she knew that all of her sacrifices were worth it. All of their sacrifices paid off.
And as if the people of this city unanimously decided to stay at home, the streets are almost empty. Mind you, it was 3 in the afternoon. Well, Mindy doesn’t mind, though. For her, walking in peace — and by peace meaning not bothering to step aside for others while walking, is better. The best if you’d actually ask her.
“Yes, ma’am?” the staff asked when she settled on a seat for two in the corner of the cafe where she can sit by the view for hours and never get bored.
“What’s your best seller here?” she asked while flipping through the menu, trying to pick something that she thinks will suit her taste well.
“We have a Spanish latte as our best seller, ma’am. And also iced americano,” the waitress answered in a gentle voice and smiled politely.
Mindy paused the moment she heard the word “iced americano” as if it translates to “move an inch or you’ll die.” It’s been so long since she heard that word. Well, she doesn’t really drink coffee and if she does, it’s a takeout order given by his friend.
"Sige, Spanish latte nalang,” sagot niya na para bang napilitan lang syang banggitin ang order nya sa waitress na nag-aantay.
When she’s about to give the menu back to the waitress, a hand took it from her revealing a face she’d probably forgotten after a long time, but will always be familiar with.
“I’ll make an order. Iced americano with an extra shot, please,” the woman told the waitress and smiled.
Oh, that smile.
“It’s really you! Oh my God, akala ko namalikmata lang ako na nandito ka sa Pinas!” she exclaimed, sounded more excited than Mindy imagined she would be when they crossed paths again.
Mindy chuckled at an old friend’s remark and said, “well, I’m real.” She asked the woman in front of her to take the seat across. Though it wouldn’t really be a problem if she decides to take another table since the cafe is almost empty.
Marian, the woman, gladly took the seat across from her. She smiled, again.
“How’s married life, by the way?” Mindy initiated the talk. She doesn’t actually know what topic they could discuss aside from the sole reason why they’ve separated and stopped talking to each other for years.
Marian looked taken aback from Mindy’s question. She probably expected that the latter would try to avoid this topic as it might open wounds from the past that they thought had healed.
“Hmm… good!” Marian tried her best to sound convincing though failed. “Definitely,” she added, which confirms Mindy’s suspicion.
"You don’t sound convinced of yourself,” Mindy uttered as if she was from the authorities trying to corner a suspect of a murder case. Her voice was an octave or two lower than the usual, thickening the tension between them.
“I am!” Marian answered in a pitch voice which earned a chuckle from Mindy. “I’m just… you know, there are things I have to think about,” the former answered in a calmer manner.
Mindy looked at the woman across her like she’s trying to find something in her soul through her eyes.
Where’s the joy she used to have? It feels dull.
“Wife… housewife duties.” And it dawned to Mindy. Life changed them. They are not the same Marian and Mindy they used to be 10 years ago. Their youth has passed. They have grown. They are a different person now than before.
“Housewife,” Mindy paused. “Wow, did not expect that from you,” she sounded genuinely surprised.
If she only knew how chaotic Marian’s mind was right now, she would’ve understood.
“Well…” Marian shrugged her shoulders like it’s a sign of defeat.
Defeat from what? Marriage? Or from the thought that she is not happy with her life but can’t do anything about it because she’s tied in a life-long commitment? Mindy doesn’t know. And she doesn’t, and is not ready, want to know.
What happened to the Marian who used to quote dream big, start small? The Marian who used to have a vision of being a successful film director and producer before she turns 30?”
The Marian I loved, and probably still do?
Marian lowered her head as if she'd been hit with embarrassment. To be fair, this is not the life Marian had imagined would be her’s at the age of 30, too. So the frustration, and maybe disappointment, that Mindy shows is valid.
She used to dream high and work hard for it. Used to. But life happened. And like what she always tells herself, not every dream can be achieved and it’s okay.
“Are you disappointed?” Marian carefully asked with a hint of hope that Mindy would answer ‘no’. But instead, she was met with a “Why would I be?”
Is it better? Perhaps.
And before another talk stemmed from that single question, Marian’s phone received a notification.
Husband
Where are you?
And it hit Mindy, probably harder that she felt. She’s married. Maybe bearing that man’s child. She wouldn’t know. She would not even dare to ask that question, let alone entertain the thought of her lover being touched by someone who’s not her — and a man, for the record.
And right then and there, Mindy realized that she’s wrong. That everything she — they, sacrificed was not worth it.
It paid off to her career but can it keep her sane and warm at night? Never.
And just like a deja vu, she let the love of her life go without even trying to stop her.
MARIAN
Husband
Where are you?
Agad akong tumayo pagkakita ng notification galing kay Damian. It was not long after when I heard the cafe’s door ring behind me.
“Bakit?” tanong ko kay Mindy habang nakatingin nang diretso sa mga mata niya.
“Nothing, it’s just… you left this,” turan nya sabay pakita ng isang panyo.
A piece of cloth that I will forever treasure.
"Careful, you might lose things without knowing,” ani Mindy. Hindi ko alam kung ang panyo pa ba ang tinutukoy niya o may laman talaga ang pagkakasabi nya no’n.
"Thank you.” Pumasok na ako kaagad sa sasakyan at nag-drive pauwi. At habang binabaybay ko ang kahabaan ng Ayala Avenue, bigla akong napaisip kung ano ba ang pwede kong pasalubong para kay Damian.
Maybe a take out from his favorite fast food nearby would be nice.
“Hon, I’m home!” sigaw ko pagkapasok ng bahay. Madilim, wala bang tao? Akala ko andito na si Damian dahil nag-text sya sa’ki-
“Surprise!” someone popped a party popper from behind.
“Hon!” sigaw ko nang makita sya hawak ang party popper at sa gilid nya ay si Minaiah na may hawak na plato na may cake. Mukhang galing pa sa oven.
Natutuwa akong lumapit sa kanila at kinuha ang plato ng cake na paniguradong si Damian ang nag-bake mula sa anak ko.
“Hi, baby girl. How’s school?” malambing kong tanong kay Minaiah na nakangiti nang pagkatamis tamis sa akin ngayon.
If there is something that I did not regret, not even a chance, it would be my sweet gorgeous daughter whom I love and treasure so much.
Sya lang ang tamang nagawa ko mula nang piliin kong umalis sa buhay nya.
"Mommy, alam mo ba I met a new friend kanina! She’s at the same age as you, I think?” My daughter acted like she’s thinking. Adorable.
“Oh? What’s her name?” I asked, curious about my child’s new friend.
“I forgot eh, it was something like Min… ah! Tita Mindy! Mindy is her name, mommy!” Minaiah sounds excited.
Pero para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa sa nalaman. Is it possible that they’ve met?
At this point, all I can hear is my thoughts. Ni hindi ko na nga marinig ang boses ng anak ko pero alam kong tuwang tuwa siya na may nakilala syang bagong kaibigan — ang Tita Mindy nya.
Mindy
It’s not even an hour since we parted ways pero andito ka na naman. Naiisip na naman kita.
“Hon? Okay ka lang?” Damian held my waist from behind.
And I came back to my senses.
Stop it, Marian. Focus!
“Yep, medyo natagtag lang siguro sa byahe,” pagngiti ko. Hindi ko alam kung halata bang pilit iyon pero wala na akong pakialam.
“We bought you flowers nga pala. White roses, your favorite,” Damian said while smiling from ears to ears.
“Aww, thank you, hon!” I said, appreciative of his gestures.
I truly appreciate it when he’s like this — going for extra miles for me. Siguro para sa iba, bare minimum to pero Damian was not like this when we met. And fortunately, he changed.
“Oo nga pala, I cooked your favorite Kare-kare!” He sounds excited.
Anong meron? What’s with all these?
“Happy anniversary, mommy and dada!” Minaiah interfered.
Oh
“Happy anniversary, my love,” saad ni Damian sabay halik sa noo ko.
How could I forget? Wedding anniversary pala namin ngayon.
“Happy anniversary, hon. Sorry take out lang nabili ko kanina,” I smiled, feeling guilty.
Gaano ba kalakas ang epekto sa akin ni Mindy na pati ang anniversary namin ngayon ng asawa ko ay nakalimutan ko na? Hindi na to tama.
“Oo nga pala, mommy. We’ll see Tita Mindy tomorrow po, ha? Nag-promise kasi ako sa kanya na I’ll introduce you to her eh,” biglang sambit ni Minaiah habang kumakain kami ng hinanda ni Damian.
“Sure, baby!” I just hope that my hunch is not true.
*
“Ready?” Damian asked, paalis na kami para pumunta sa school ni Minaiah for their family day.
To be honest, hindi ko alam kung kaya ko bang harapin ang Mindy na sinasabi ng anak ko.
Sana mali ako.
It was sunny nang dumating kami sa school. Medyo marami na ring tao kaya napagdesisyunan namin ng asawa ko na pumunta muna sa room ni Minaiah. Sinundan ko sya at sinabihan si Damian na mag-antay na lang sa room nila.
“Minai-” Hindi ko na natuloy ang pagtawag sa kanya nang makitang may kasama syang iba.
“Mommy!” Minaiah called. I was stunned.
It was really her.
She was really the Mindy that my child is talking about.
“Mar–” bago pa man matapos ni Mindy ang sasabihin, lumapit si Marian sa kanya at hinila sya sa gilid kung saan hindi sila maririnig ng anak ng huli.
“Bakit ka nandito?” mahina ngunit ramdam ang talas ng pagkakasabi ni Marian.
“Bawal ba?” natatawang sagot ni Mindy. Unti-unting nararamdaman ni Marian ang pag-init ng ulo nya. Hindi dapat pero hindi rin niya maiwasan.
“I’m serious. Bakit ka nandito?” May talas ang pagtingin ni Marian sa una.
“I am with my nephew, okay? I do not know na dito pala nag-aaral yung… anak mo,” Mindy lowered her hand, her voice lowered at the last phrase.
“This will be the last time na lalapit ka sa anak ko, okay? Ayoko nang marinig na nilapitan mo na naman sya,” Marian told Mindy, her voice firm and is threatening.
“Bakit? Takot ka bang malaman ng asawa’t anak mo na mag-ex tayo? And oh, Minaiah, really? Hindi ba iyon yung sinabi mong ipapangalan mo sa anak natin in the future? Ano, pati yon kinuha mo rin?” tanong ni Mindy na may halong paninindak sa kaharap.
And as if everything she said dawned to her, her eyes widened at the realization.
“Don’t tell me,” natatawa at may halong takot na tanong ni Mindy.
Napayuko na lamang si Marian. Hindi nya alam kung aaminin ba sa kausap ang totoo o gagawa na lang ng kasinungalingan… na naman.
“Anak ko siya. Ayon lang ang dapat mong malaman.”
At kung lalaruin nga naman sila ng tadhana, mukha pang hindi naniniwala si Mindy sa taong nasa harap niya.
“Seriously? Sinong niloloko mo, Marian? Sarili mo? O baka yung asawa mo? Bakit, hindi nya ba alam na hindi nya anak yung anak mo?”
“Wala akong niloloko, okay? Saka bakit ba gusto mong malaman? Bakit?” Marian is almost crashing out.
Mindy looked at her with a bit of fondness. Napataas nalang si Marian ng kilay at inirapan ang kasama.
“Sagutin mo nga ako, Mar. Is she really your daughter with your husband?” Mindy asked in a much calmer tone. They were both sitting at the bench while watching Minaiah and Mindy’s nephew play. Kailan pa sila nagsimulang maglarong dalawa? Hindi rin nila alam. They were busy arguing, anyway.
“No,” Marian declared with finality.
She can’t get away with it, can she? Mindy will surely find out about it one way or another.
Mas mabuti nang malaman nya mula sa kanya mismo.
"So, is she mine?” she asked, may pangangapa sa boses.
“Well…” Marian shrugged.
“Bakit?” tanong ni Mindy na may halong lungkot sa boses.
“Hindi ko rin alam. Siguro I’ve come to a point where I chose to keep the only one that’ll remind me of you.”
“Sorry.”
There was silence after that. Walang naglakas loob na magsalita. Hindi rin naman nila alam ang sasabihin o kung meron nga ba.
“Alam ba to ng asawa mo?” tanong ni Mindy na nakayuko.
She was looking at her shoes like it’s the most beautiful thing there is right now.
Well, hindi naman bagay si Marian kaya hindi naman sya kasama sa bilang, hindi ba?
“Alam nyang hindi kanya, pero hindi nya alam na sa’yo,” Marian’s voice almost cracked.
“May balak ka ba?” Mindy asked, her voice hopeful.
“Para saan pa?” Marian lowered her head. “Maayos na rin naman yung buhay namin ngayon.”
Mindy then looked at Marian. She was no longer the Marian she knew and loved. She is now the Marian that has Damian and Minaiah.
At kahit gusto mang sabihin ni Mindy na kaya nya namang mag-provide para sa kanilang tatlo, hindi nya na rin tinuloy.
Hindi dahil sa ayaw nyang ipaglaban ang natitirang pagmamahal nya para sa babaeng kasama nya ngayon, pati sa anak nila. Katulad nga ng sabi nya, masaya na sila ngayon. At kahit hindi man sabihin ni Marian nang diretso, alam naman ni Mindy na kuntento na sya sa buhay nya. Kuntento na syang meron syang Damian at Minaiah na kasama at uuwian araw-araw.
At marahil ito nga ang kabayaran dahil hindi nya nagawang ipaglaban ang pagmamahalan nila noon. Siguro kung bibigyan siya ng pagkakataong bumalik sa nakaraan, babaguhin nya ang lahat. Mas pipiliin nyang manatili, baka sakaling hindi makilala ni Marian ang asawa. Pero sa ngayon, oras naman siguro para piliin nya ang sarili. Uusad na sya. Hindi dahil gusto nya, kundi dahil wala na syang magagawa.
Pinal na. At hindi nya na rin mababawi ang taong mahal nya dahil tulad nga ng sabi nito kanina...
Para saan pa?