All the words I never said to you (scrapped)

They were leaving to go to the train station in an hour but all James could think of was Regulus’ mouth, which was good considering they were currently making out. 

There was music playing loudly from the record player on the shelf, currently it was Sex Pistols. Regulus liked them so James made sure to play them all the time. 

“Jamie, you definitely locked the door?” Regulus asked, pulling away. His lips were swollen and his hair was tousled. James looked at him adoringly, got up, and made sure the door was looked. He would’ve used a spell but it’s not allowed. 

He smiled back at Regulus and jumped back onto the bed. He embraced Regulus in a deep, passionate kiss. This, James decided, was his favourite thing. Kissing Reggie was like being engulfed by starlight- bright and magical. 

One hand was tangled in Reggie’s hair, and the other was against the wall behind Regulus’ head. 

Suddenly, James pulled his face back, looking at Regulus- he was a work of art- and dipped his mouth down to Regulus’ throat and started kissing it until he found what he was looking for. 

 James grazed his mouth over a certain part of Regulus’ throat and he moaned. It was a quiet, breathy moan but it was still there. James then attacked that spot. He sucked Regulus’ neck, hard, getting some bigger, louder moans out of him which were drowned out by the sound of “Liar” blasting out of the  

Eventually, James stopped attacking Regulus’ neck and sat up, “We have about 40 minutes, we should go get breakfast.” Regulus nodded. 

They made their way downstairs and just as they were about to enter the kitchen, Remus came running to them and dragged them aside. He pulled them into the empty lounge. 

 Bewildered, Remus said, “Regulus, you cannot go into the kitchen like that.” Regulus and James looked at each other confused, when James suddenly panned his eyes down to Regulus’ neck where he saw a big purple mark blooming on his throat.  

Shit. 

His eyes widened, “Fuck.” Regulus was still confused, “What?” Remus turned to look Regulus in the eyes, “Were you guys having fun? Because it basically looks like you were punched in the throat by a bodybuilder.” 

It took him a second but Regulus suddenly realised what Remus meant. He panicked, “Don’t tell Sirius, I know he’s your boyfriend but-“ 

“I would never. Just, Regulus come with me. James, go and get breakfast and we’ll be down when we can. And next time, be discreet, I can’t just save you every time.” 

Remus took Regulus upstairs to try and help. He covered Regulus’ neck in green concealer to try and colour correct it.  

While he was fixing Regulus’ neck, he started having questions pile up in his brain, “Why James?” he asked absentmindedly. “It was always James, from my first day of Hogwarts.” Well that was adorable. 

“Oh. I get that, but I mean like, haven’t you had to watch him embarrass himself in front of Lily Evans over and over again?” He stopped to look at Regulus. 

“I mean yeah, and it hurt, and its going to take some convincing to get my friends to like him. But unrequited love is probably one of the purest and realest forms of love. The heart wants what it wants even when it knows it will never get it.” 

Remus just stared at Regulus, beauty blender frozen in mid air in his hand, “Wow, that was... poetic.” Regulus just smiled and nodded, that was enough emotions for today. 

A few minutes later, they both went back downstairs, and Regulus now had one of Remus’ turtle neck jumpers on because the makeup cover up was not the best and close up, Sirius would have instantly seen it. 

“Hey guys, Regulus was cold so I was just getting him a jumper.” Remus explained, mostly to Sirius as James already knew what had actually happened. 

Roughly 2 hours later, they found themselves standing at King’s Cross Station in London with trollies full of all their school supplies for the upcoming year. Underneath Regulus’ stuff, he also had some cartons of cigarettes hidden. 

They had like 20 minutes to kill before the platform opened and Remus and Sirius had gone off to spend the last of their muggle money in one of the shops. Effie wanted to go and browse the muggle books and Monty followed like a toddler. This left James and Regulus alone in the crowded train station. 

James looked over at Regulus, “So, what should we do for 20 minutes?” Regulus shrugged, “That waiting room is empty, and the glass is tinted.” He pointing to a room fairly close to them. 

James looked up at him and smiled, “Oh absolutely.” They navigated their trolleys over to the waiting room and opened the door. They sat down on one of the benches and James smiled. 

“What happens now?” He asked, absentmindedly. Regulus looked at him confused, “We snog?” James laughed, Regulus loved James’ laugh. 

“I mean, after. When we get on the train, and we go back to hogwarts. What then? What do we do until Christmas? Ignore each other? Sneak around? Date other people?”  

“No! I- I mean, I don’t want you dating other people. I- you’re my- we’re- we should be-“ Regulus shook his head and started over, “You. Are. My. Boyfriend. Is that okay?” James just looked at him and smiled, “Yes, Reggie!! Of course that’s okay!” 

Regulus couldn’t help but hug James, they were boyfriends. Him and James were boyfriends. Regulus looked around quickly before engulfing James in a deep, passionate kiss.  

James pulled away, “Owlery, every night at 8. I’ll come and find you.” Regulus kissed James again before replying, “Okay, I’ll be there. Promise.” 

James pulled Regulus into a big, engulfing hug. Regulus chuckled and pulled away, “What was that for?” James looked up at him, “Mmm, just wanted to... boyfriend.” 

Regulus suddenly sat up, “Oh my god what’s the time?” James looked at him and then his watch. “5 minutes! We should go!” They both got up off of the bench and grabbed their trolleys. 

They quickly rushed their way over to where the gate is: the wall between platform 9 and platform 10. 

When they got there, they instantly found Remus, Sirius, Effie, and Monty. “Hey guys! Mum, did you find any good books?” Effie shook her head, “Yes actually, I found a rather good one, Little Women.”  

“Oh, cool. Should we go get on the train then?” The group nodded in agreement. James suddenly realised that he wouldn’t be able to talk to Regulus for hours, but he was excited to get back to Hogwarts. 

They all made their way through the barrier to the platform. They said their final goodbyes to Effie and Monty and went to find Peter. 

Regulus split off and went to see if he could find Evan and Barty. He instead found Dorcas. “Hey, pretty boy, how’s sunshine?” Regulus rolled his eyes, “Please, Dor, can you drop it? The others don’t know, so please.” 

Dorcas just stared at him, “The fact that you think I would do that is insane. I am your best friend.” Regulus looked at her, “You’re right, sorry.” 

“Come on, let’s go get on the train, I think Evan and Barty are already on.” She smiled at him. He reluctantly followed her onto the train. 

Meanwhile, James, Remus, and Sirius were navigating themselves across the busy train platform to find Peter. “Pete!” James yelled, sticking his arms up in the air, flagging him down. 

When they had finally all met up on the platform- James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter- they piled themselves onto the train and barrelled down the corridor to find an empty cabin. 

When they managed to snag their usual cabin, the boys all sat down and prepared for the next few hours they had ahead of them. 

They fell into comfortable conversation and chatted away, Pete and James on one side and Remus and Sirius across from them. 

They were chatting animatedly for roughly 10 minutes before someone came running into their cabin. Remus and Sirius instantly unlinked hands, before they even saw who it was. There, standing at the entrance to their cabin, was Gryffindor quidditch member Marlene Meadowes. 

Before anyone had a chance to say anything though, the train engines burst to life and they began to move. 

Marlene quickly sat down next to Remus as to not risk falling over. She smiled and explained, “Sorry guys, I was so late, I nearly missed the train fully. Can I stay in here if you guys don’t mind?” 

The boys looked at each other, silently coming to a decision until James spoke, “Yeah, sure.” At this, Marlene visibly relaxed. She smiled, “Thank you! I would’ve sat with Lily and Mary but I couldn’t find them.” 

“Don’t worry about it Marls, you’ll find them at dinner.” James smiled. She nodded and they continued chatting.  

In the few hours they were on the train, they (in total) ate: five chocolate frogs, 8 packets of Bertie Botts jellybeans, 4 cheese sandwiches (Peter’s mum made one for each of the boys), and 8 bags of muggle sweets (a James Potter ritual). 

Regulus’ journey to Hogwarts was slightly different. He got on the train with Dorcas and they walked past every carriage to try and find their friends; Evan, Barty, and Pandora. 

They eventually found Evan and Barty- in a full cabin. Dorcas looked at Regulus, “We still have Panda, there might be room in her cabin?” Regulus shrugged, “Maybe.” 

So, Dorcas and Regulus made quick work of looking down the train for Pandora. They found her eventually and she was in a cabin with some Gryffindor girls, and there was space. 

“Hey, uh, Panda? Can we sit with you?” Pandora looked up, then at the Gryffindor girls, who nodded slowly. “Yeah, of course, guys!” Regulus and Dorcas sat down next to a ginger girl with bright green eyes and freckles all over her face. “Hi, I’m Lily.” She smiled. 

Regulus’ heart sank. He knew that James had been in love with a Lily Evans, but he had never seen her up close. Dorcas knew instantly and squeezed Regulus’ hand. 

There was a girl with chocolate dark skin and long braids that went down to her chest and deep red lips that complimented her dark eyes. She waved, “Hi, I’m Mary,” she paused, “Macdonald.” These girls were very smiley and happy. It was sickening. 

Regulus and Dorcas introduced themselves and just before the train started moving, a girl came past the cabin- Marlene her friends had called her- but it was full. She had sighed, “I’ll go see if the boys have any room.” 

When she had left, Regulus was confused, “’The boys’?” he asked, absentmindedly. Lily turned to look at him, “Your brother and his friends; Remus, Ja-“ 

“James, and Peter.” He interrupted. “I spent the summer at James’.” At that, the Gryffindor girls looked over at him, excitedly. “You got out?” Lily asked him. Regulus looked down at his hands, Dorcas grabbed one of them and squeezed it. 

Lily realised her mistake, “Oh I’m sorry, Regulus.” 

Regulus shuffled up against Dorcas and slept on her for most of the train ride. The last thing he remembered hearing was one of the girls asking Dorcas if they were dating. But Regulus was too tired and too happy to really care. 

He slept until the train arrived in Hogsmeade later that evening.  

record player.