Lily groans, squeezing Regulus tighter where she’s wrapped around him like a koala. Wave after wave of excruciating cramps have been hitting her relentlessly, and she’s exceeded the amount of pain relief potion that Madam Pomfrey will allow her each day. Honestly, if it weren’t for her pain, Regulus would be grateful for the pressure of her thighs around his abdomen, relieving some of his own pain.
He’s laying on his back, legs propped up, with Lily sandwiched between him and the back of the largest couch in the Gryffindor common room, clinging fiercely to him.
“Where the fuck is James,” the girl complains.
“I’m gonna kick his ass when he gets back if he doesn’t have a damn good explanation for what’s taking so long,” Remus replies, from the opposite end of the couch. “He’s supposed to be bringing me hot chocolate.” He’s on his stomach, taking up two thirds of the furniture, one arm dangling on the floor off the side while Sirius straddles his thighs and massages his back. The younger brother would probably find the display of affection sickening if, for one, he wasn’t sympathetic to Remus’ aching body, and for two, he didn’t have someone snuggled into his own body at the moment.
Regulus stretches one leg out to adjust his position as another cramp hits, and accidentally kicks the other boy in the hip, causing him to hiss in pain.
“OI!” Sirius shouts before Regulus can apologize. “Be careful you idiot, he’s in pain!”
“We all are, you bitch,” Regulus snaps. “I didn’t mean to, Remus,” he adds in a nicer tone.
Remus raises his arm off the floor and waves him off. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Be more careful or I’ll punch you in the gut,” Sirius threatens.
“That actually sounds fantastic.”
“Can you do it to me too?” Lily chimes in, lifting her head from the crook of Regulus’ neck. Sirius twists around to stare at them in horror. “Listen, if you had a uterus, you’d understand.”
“I’m glad I don’t,” the oldest shudders.
“Reg? Hand me that book, please?” Lily points to a worn-out paperback sitting on the coffee table. He has to strain to reach it, but he manages to grab the edge with the tips of his fingers and pull it towards him to grab. It’s a sad little thing. It’s thin and so used that the cover is rounded at the corners and held on with tape. There are circular stains on the front as though it had been used as a coaster. That makes Regulus cringe, and so many pages are dog-eared with annotations written in the margins that it doesn’t close flatly. Their hands brush when she takes it from him, and she gasps like she’s just had a brilliant idea.
“Your hands are freezing!”
“Er, yeah?” He flexes his fingers, taping himself on the cheek to feel them.
“Wait.” She twists onto her back, wrapping his arm around her and placing his hand on top of her forehead. “That’s amazing, don’t move,” she demands as she opens her book to the page with a random loose piece of parchment hanging out of it as a bookmark.
Regulus sighs, though he’s somewhat amused. “You do realize that I’m not your boyfriend, right? James is just both of ours.”
She hums in acknowledgement.
“Because sometimes I think you forget that, is all.”
“You’re my bonus boyfriend, and I’m your bonus girlfriend, actually. Less benefits than real partners, more benefits than friends. Like this.”
Sirius snorts. If Regulus could reach him without hurting Remus or jostling his ‘bonus girlfriend,’ he’d kick his brother. He settles for shooting daggers at his bac in his mind.
“What’re you reading?” Remus asks Lily.
“The Hobbit, the copy your mum let me borrow.”
“Ah, that decrepit thing.”
“I happen to think it’s quite cozy,” she retorts. “I can tell that it’s been well loved, and Hope said it belonged to your grandmother, so I’m very happy that she trusts me with it.”
“Hope?” Regulus huffs a laugh. “You’re on a first name basis with his mum?”
“Of course she is,” Sirius answer for her. “So am I, and you would be too if you were the sort of person she liked.”
“The fuck does that mean?” He lifts his hand in an offended gesture, and Lily grabs it to bring it back down to her forehead without breaking away from her conversation with Remus about the book.
“It means she wouldn’t like you.” Sirius rolls his eyes. Regulus can’t see his face, but he knows he did.
“I got that, smartass. I mean, why do you think she wouldn’t like me?”
“You’re prickly.”
“Prickly.”
“Yep.”
“You’re prickly too.”
“Different kind.”
Regulus sputters. “We- what- no?”
“Hope’s a lot like Mum.” Sirius is talking about Euphemia, which they all know without asking. “She’s kind and warm and doesn’t like prickly people.
“Effie loves me, you bitch.”
“You’re her son’s boyfriend, that makes it you an exception as long as you don’t hurt James.”
“By that logic, Mrs. Lupin wouldn’t like you if you weren’t dating Remus.”
It’s Sirius’ turn to be speechless. “Hey- that’s, you-”
“You walked into that one, Pads,” Remus pauses his debate with Lily over something called ‘Bagginshield’ long enough to interrupt the brothers.
“Hope love me!” Sirius shrieks, bending down to press his face close to Remus.’ “Right?”
“Yes.” Regulus can hear the exasperation in Remus’ voice. “Mum loves you, and she would like Reg.”
Regulus sticks his tongue out and shoves both middle fingers towards Sirius’ back, making Lily chuckle as she goes back to reading, her debate with Remus effectively ruined. The noise makes the oldest turn around, catching sight of the youngest quickly lowering his hands, and shouts in outrage.
Blood might have been shed, had James not entered the common room at that exact moment, balancing five hot chocolates and several sandwiches on a tray with a hover charm. Three heating pads are handing over his left arm.
“James!”
“PRONGS!”
“Baby!”
“Hey!”
The four on the couch all shout in unison, making him freeze. “Er… sorry, I got caught by Slughorn on the way down and he wanted to talk about Dad’s newest project, not that I know anything about it.
Lily and Remus both assure him that it’s alright, though Regulus is less forgiving after being subjected to his brother’s personality for the better part of the last hour. Sirius leaps off of his boyfriend and starts distributing the drinks and food between the three sick people, while James sets off on placing heating charms over the pads, knowing the exact temperatures that all three of them like.
“Anything new happen while I was lost at sea?” James jokes.
“Nothing new,” Regulus replies, tugging his boyfriend down for a kiss. Sirius makes a retching noise in the background. James leans over to kiss Lily as well, and Regulus adds, “Sirius is a moron, but you already knew that.”
Four out of the five of them laugh, drowning out the offended objections.
“C’mon, let’s go upstairs,” Remus suggests, standing up and cracking his back. “We don’t all fit on the couch.”
“Moony, I cannot believe you’re telling James to take my little brother to bed.” This earns Sirius a book thrown at his head. A random one left by another student on the table in front of the fireplace, not Hope’s copy of The Hobbit, so there is no need to fret.