I can't say it, I can't. If I say it, it will become real. Are you alive, my dear Harry?
You were lying on the bed; all traces of life had vanished from your ethereal being. Your skin was extremely cold, but every time I touched you, the sensation of your skin radiated deep within me, like a person condemned to suffer in the innermost circle of hell. Your skin was so pale, almost translucent, revealing your dark veins that barely pulsed with that much-needed crimson fluid. The touch of my skin against yours left a beautiful reddish trail, blood pooling where our bodies touched for the last time.
The sockets of your eyes were dark and sunken. The curls of the darkest black I've ever seen contrasted against the white sheets of the bed where you lay. Your long eyelashes fluttered weakly, like the wings of a magnificent Formosan magpie in its deathbed.
You lay there, resembling an angel atoning for sins, still exquisitely beautiful even in your final moments. Yet, if there was one thing to emphasize, it was your captivating eyes. Eyes that will forever haunt my dreams, drenched in the hue of the most tormented magic, set within a visage so pure, it swore never to have harboured a single ill desire.
Tears cascade down my face, destined for the river Acheron, where your soul will be wrested from me. The gentle touch of your trembling fingers, as frail as a bird's, wipes away the trail, as if you were trying to delay the inevitable. My soul is weary, and all I can do is release it in the form of tears. It had been so long since I last cried, there was no reason to with you by my side. But now, who will cleanse the salty path of tears without you beside me?
“Don't cry, please.”
How could I refrain from weeping, my dearest? Your exquisite presence shall no longer grace my side. Instead, it shall ascend to the heavens, encircled by the purest of celestial beings, akin to your ethereal essence. I shed tears for I foresaw it, that I would not dwell by your side. My very essence, irremediably tarnished, destined to crumble into ashen remnants, condemned amidst the fieriest infernal flames, etching upon my flesh the impression of your fingers, until naught remains but my vanquished existence.
A deep breath, it burns.
“Don't shed your precious tears. I'll always be in your heart.”
My heart clenched agonizingly at your words, knowing I would bear the solemn duty of holding the last of you. Words compelled themselves to remain deep within my throat, pushed by the painful knot in my larynx. My life, my love. Forced to be torn from this world by the selfish decree of the Reaper, waiting to claim your beautiful soul.
Together, until death did us part.
I sat by your side as we gazed at the view offered by the window in front of your bed. The soft and hauntingly pale fingers of your hands were cradled against my lips as we beheld the incredible cathedral rising before our eyes. Magic danced agonizingly around it, trying to provide the best view it could so that your eyes could witness it in all its glory one last time. Its sharp spires adorned with angels crafted with the most exquisite handiwork pierced the sky, reflecting its anguish. The intricate stained glass of the rose windows was made from the most brilliant material, attempting to emulate the colour of your eyes, an impossible task.
You appeared to be a Roman virgin, enduring your respective martyrdom alongside the god to whom you were faithful. Your image reflected on the walls of the cathedral, where apostles and virgins suffered their respective martyrdoms. On those very walls, the whispers of promises never fulfilled by two young souls being separated flowed. A large tear fell down your face, completely embodying the image of the Virgin Mary shedding tears of sorrow.
Your image shall be imbued in every nook of the Gothic cathedral, and each day of my forthcoming existence, I shall beseech your form with heart in hand and tears in my eyes. As I hold dominion over every forlorn soul wandering this earthly realm, they shall all entreat you beneath the tender moonlight you cherish so dearly. Day by day, devotion shall unfurl offerings and unions, for you deserve nothing less, dearest, and so much more.
Your body lacked so much life that for a fleeting moment, I wished I could surrender myself in your place. The finest and most delicate fabrics adorned you in a gentle yet cold embrace, so I held you in my arms one last time. That's what we both wanted, to feel each other one last time. And if when I passed away, I couldn't feel your warm embrace, I would offer you the warmest and most heartfelt hug I could muster, so that you could slumber through eternity beside me. I would cradle your lifeless form until it turned to sand beneath my fingers, and in that moment, I would know that my heart had been left with nothing but your memory. I would commission the most skilled and realistic artist to capture your image in the most exquisite painting ever seen. It would be framed in the purest gold and the brightest emerald, to honour your image in the most magnificent way.
"Tom, my love."
Your fragile and velvety voice caressed the depths of my mind at just the right points. My hands descended to tenderly stroke your slender face. Your beautiful curls cascaded onto my shoulder, tickling the curve of my neck. With all the tenderness I could muster, I planted a kiss on your forehead.
"Yes, darling?"
For the first time, I unearthed the words that had long resisted their release, and I set them free, swallowing the troublesome knot with painful resolve. My chest blazed with a fervour as I beheld your lips curving into a weary yet exquisitely loving smile—a love so innocent, bestowed upon one who had craved it so deeply. I discerned your forthcoming words, just as I sensed the impending parting of our souls. You, too, were aware, as your trembling hand rose to gently sweep a stray curl from my countenance. In reverence, I kissed the inner curve of your wrist, tears welled within my eyes. My mind raced with fervour, striving to engrave these precious last moments into the depths of my very soul.
"I adore you."
The hushed utterance of those two words unfurled a cascade of emotion, shattering my veneer of composure. Our foreheads met, fingers entwined, as I felt the grip of anguish clutching my heart, rendering it still. I watched the luminosity dim in your eyes, my own sobs reverberating through the chamber like a mournful requiem. With trembling and delicate reverence, I placed a kiss upon your lips.
"My love for you is boundless. It shall endure for all eternity."
Gently, I caressed the icy contour of your cheek, gazing into your exquisite eyes where my own reflection danced in the depths of your gaze. Your chest rose in the faintest of rhythms, wearied by the trials of existence. Together, we exchanged our last sighs of love, our brows touching in profound communion, your hand tenderly entwined with mine. I returned to your lips for one more kiss, an unquenchable thirst for your essence. Oh, if only we had been granted more time, I would have lavished you with a thousand kisses, stretching into eternity.
"Rest now, my beloved. I shall carry the radiance of your eyes, those eyes so profoundly beautiful."
In a final whisper of love, your eyes closed.