The War was over which meant only one thing. Sirius Black and James Potter could not mourn the loss of the person they both loved the most.
Regulus Black had drowned. They didn’t know how or when. They just knew he was gone.
And Walburga and Orion had refused to let them go to his funeral or his memorial. Sure, Sirius had been pissed when Regulus took on the Dark Mark and he even forbade James from seeing him again.
He pushed his brother away. That doesn’t mean it hurt to hear of his death.
He still remembered the headline in the newspaper ‘The Heir of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Regulus Black, drowned at 17’.
He remembered the scream James had let out when he saw the news. He remembered the way his own heart broke as he gathered James into his arms and told him to collect himself.
They were at war. There was no time for mourning, as cruel as it had sounded then. James had calmed down.
This did not change the fact that every day Sirius came across him from then on, James had red and puffy eyes. He had been crying despite what Sirius said.
The war was won by James who in his grief and anger had managed to use an Unforgivable. James Potter was the one who had managed to kill Voldemort.
The war was over which meant one thing, Sirius had time to mourn now. He sat in his dorm with a picture gripped tightly in his hands.
He felt tears streaming down his face while he looked at a happy Regulus and himself in the picture. The picture was taken by Remus on Regulus’ first day in Hogwarts.
Sirius remembered a lot.
He remembered how he found out about James and Regulus’ relationship.
He remembered being against it even though it was clear the two were smitten with each other.
He remembered James assuring him that he would not hurt Regulus.
He remembered how Regulus came running to him for help when he was forced to take the Dark Mark.
He remembered not believing him and saying some mean things, pushing his brother away.
He remembered forbidding James from seeing Regulus again.
He remembered his brother crying and asking for help and Sirius had pushed him away.
Now, Regulus is gone. Gone so quickly and suddenly and Sirius could not even apologize.
He let out another sob, remembering how he so cruelly called his brother a Slytherin Snake like their parents were.
He remembered the hurt look in Regulus’ eyes before he turned around and walked away.
Regulus Black never walked towards the Marauders after that. He never came to Sirius again.
And the one time when Remus had tried to talk to him in the library and mend the broken bond, Regulus snapped at him and refused to talk to any of them.
He only hung out with his friends after Sirius betrayed him.
It was Barty, Evan and Pandora who laughed with him, who remained by his side, not Sirius like he should have.
Sirius could still remember what a mess the Slytherin friend group had been when the news of Regulus’ death came out.
Sirius let it all out then.
All the pain and regret he felt over losing his brother.
A knock on his doors interrupted him.
He looked up only to see that James had let himself inside and was walking towards him. He plopped down on his bed and froze when he saw the picture Sirius was holding.
“I miss him.” He whispered after a while, almost like Sirius was not supposed to hear that.
“Me too.” Sirius said and sniffled. James took a deep breath before he cleared his throat.
“Dumbledore called a meeting.”
“Of who?” Sirius asked, wondering why this mattered to them. Why now when the war is over?
“Us, the Order.” James said, his eyes still glued to the picture in Sirius’ hands. The older Black brother could see tears welling up in his eyes.
“Why?” Sirius found himself asking with a frown on his face.
“Not sure. Come on then, time to go, Siri.” James said and stood up quickly, tugging on Sirius’ sleeve.
Sirius let the picture rest on his night stand and got up, following James to the office.
Once inside, they noticed that the others were already there. Dumbledore wasn’t though.
Sirius pulled James towards Remus, his boyfriend and plopped down next to him.
Remus turned to look at them, not saying anything even if he wanted to.
What was he supposed to say? How are you? That would have been the stupidest question ever.
“Well? Where is he then?” Sirius called and they all looked at the doors when Dumbledore walked inside. He sat down once he was behind his desk and looked at all of them.
“The war is over and I know you wish to have some peace and quiet. You will, I promise you that, but first I wanted to introduce you to the ones who saved us. My informants, my little spies. Without them we would not have known of the Horcruxes. We would not have known how to destroy them. Without their sacrifices we would all be dead now.” Dumbledore said and Sirius rolled his eyes at his theatrics.
“Well? Where are they then?” Remus called and Dumbledore cleared his throat.
“Come on in.” He called and the doors opened a few seconds later.
Shock washed over everyone’s faces.
Pandora Lovegood stepped inside. Barty Crouch Jr followed. And then Evan Rosier came inside.
They stood next to each other and next to Dumbledore’s desk while the Order observed them.
Barty had a wicked smile on his face and a wand in his hand. James felt himself instinctively reach for his own want to hold, in case this was a trap.
“Where is the fourth one?” Dumbledore asked and everyone frowned now.
Pandora smiled and said nothing. She looked at the doors and waited.
That is when they all stopped breathing for a second. A very much alive looking Regulus Black stepped into the office.
He stood next to Evan Rosier and put his hands behind his back. He looked a bit paler than usual, James noticed.
“Is this some kind of a joke? Because if it is, it is a cruel one.” James said while he watched Regulus who only rolled his eyes and spread his arms wide open.
His wand was in his right hand and he made a theatrical bow, making Barty and Evan snicker.
“As much as I wish I was dead, I am very much alive, Potter.” Regulus said and James felt a pang of hurt pass through him when he was called by his last name.
Regulus straightened his back and Dumbledore spoke again.
“We had to keep Regulus’ survival a secret until he became of age and could leave his parents’ house. Now, the Order, meet my spies.” Dumbledore said and Sirius let out a small sob while he watched Regulus who no longer held any emotion in his eyes.
“They all made great sacrifices. Barty and Evan became Death Eaters only to find a way to take the Dark Lord down. Pandora spent her free hours in a library, helping research how to kill our enemy.” Dumbledore started and James took a hold of Sirius’ hand now, needing a source of comfort.
Regulus looked indifferent the entire time, almost like he was not thinking at all. Or was James just not used to being on the receiving end of Regulus's indifference?
“And of course, we cannot forget our greatest asset, the one who sacrificed most of all. Regulus, the one who was actually dead for a couple of minutes until others found the Horcrux. It was Pandora’s magic that saved him from certain death.” Dumbledore finished speaking and falling silent.
James needed to process this. Regulus was actually dead?
He died to give them a chance at winning.
He sacrificed his own life for the right side of the war.
And Sirius had called him a Slytherin Snake.
Sirius sniffled when he looked at Regulus who only raised an eyebrow.
“I tried to tell you that Mark was forced on me. When you didn’t listen, I went to my friends and asked for help. I would do it all over again.” Regulus said, confirming Sirius’ suspicion.
Given a choice, his brother would have died and left him alone again.
Regulus straightened his back and made a noise of discomfort.
“May we leave now? I just came back from the dead. I assume I will need more than a couple of weeks to feel like myself again.” Regulus said and Dumbledore nodded his head.
The Slytherin friends left the room with Pandora helping Regulus walk.
Sirius gulped, wondering what he had pushed his brother into back then.
Sirius ran after him with James following afterwards.
“Regulus!” Sirius called and Regulus stopped. He turned around to look at him and Sirius let the tears fall down.
“I’m sorry.” Sirius admitted and he saw the way Barty and Evan rolled their eyes.
But Regulus smiled. He saw his older brother cry and he actually smiled, no longer caring for anyone other than himself and his friends.
They had only themselves to blame for this, Regulus thought.
“Don’t be. We were meant to fall apart to win.” Regulus said and took a deep breath again.
Sirius felt his heart break at the implication.
“Have a good life, Sirius. You too, Potter.” Regulus said and turned around, his arm still around Pandora’s shoulder while she helped him walk.
It was for certain now.
Regulus was gone.
Regulus separated himself from Sirius.
They were no longer back.
James and Sirius cried together, knowing that Regulus would not forgive them. Not this time.