Chapter 2
Harry woke up feeling warm, cosy, and completely content. It worried him. He mentally cast around for any signs that the other boys were up and sighed his relief when he discovered they were not. It would make changing his nappy easier. He stretched and yawned wide before opening his eyes to see if dawn had made its way through his bed curtains yet. He was met by total and utter darkness. Not even the glow of the moon could be seen. Harry frowned in confusion and began to sit up, feeling about for his wand. Instead of his wand, however, he found an arm and it startled him so much that he gasped and drew back his hand as if he’d been stung.
Yesterday came flooding back to him and he blushed heavily. The accident, his professor helping him, the nightmare, wetting himself and the bath. And gods… then there was the nappy he was wearing that Snape had changed him into. He was pathetic. As quietly as possible, Harry fe;t around for the edge of the bed and slid off. He crept forward cautiously until he felt a wall and then he felt his way down that wall until he hit a corner, and then finally a door on the next wall. He opened it slowly, waiting to hear any change in his professor’s breathing or for the door to squeak. When neither happened, he slipped through the door and immediately reached out for the nearest wall.
He found an open doorway a few feet down and one step inside showed it to be the bathroom. The floor was freezing, likely some sort of stone or tile. He walked a bit farther down the hallway and found another open door, this one led to a room that he thought might be his. He cautiously explored it by touch, finally coming to the conclusion that it was indeed his. It sounded similar to where he had woken up after his nightmare. Again, something he would have never noticed when he could see. He supposed that after so long of being extra vigilant with the threat of Voldemort had paid off. Sorta. Or maybe he was just anxious enough to notice these things without his sight.
He felt along these walls too, looking for a bed and feeling around for any other furniture that might be there. He found a rocking chair that felt very comfortable and had a soft blanket draped over it. Then there was a dresser with some sort of word pad on the top but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was meant to do. There was also a book shelf and a trunk of sorts and then finally a big wooden structure. He ran his hands over it curiously and eventually felt the mattress. This must have been the bed.
As Harry felt around he frowned, trying to create a mental image of what the bed looked like. It was made of wood and the sides were rather tall. The mattress was fairly high off the ground too for that matter. There was also a wooden wall of sorts below the mattress but it had slats instead of being solid. As Harry climbed into bed, he grabbed onto the wood below the mattress for stability and was surprised when it moved upwards with him. Suddenly he remembered last night and hitting his head against a wooden bar and then the sound of wood scraping on wood as if something was being slid down and it clicked. This was a baby cot but Harry sized.
“I thought it would be best for now, seeing as you have an affinity for rolling out of bed.” Snape said from what Harry assumed was the doorway.
He startled Harry a bit though and the boy jumped slightly but thankfully not enough to fall out of the cot.
“I don’t fall out of bed. Haven’t since first year.” Harry replied, blushing.
“That's because of the magic of the house elves and the fact that Madame Pomfrey has me come in every time you’re in the hospital wing to ward your bed. Your magic tends to wear charms out fairly quickly and so it takes a rather strong spell to hold through the night with you.”
“Oh,” Harry said quietly. “I didn’t know.”
“That’s okay. I just was a bit too tired to both transfigure Draco’s old cot into a proper bed and then ward it to keep you safe. And the cot already seemed the proper size when we came in so I figured it would do for the night until we could talk more.” Snape told Harry.
Harry nodded and chewed on the tip of his thumb thoughtfully. He was a bit embarrassed to have been put in a cot but frankly, falling out of bed was much more embarrassing. And having Snape reapply the charm every time it wore down seemed rather exhausting for his professor.
“We can keep it.” Harry said softly. “I’d prefer not to fall out of bed or make you constantly have to reapply a charm.”
“Are you sure?”
Harry nodded and then yawned. He was still sleepy and his brief adventure had left him drained.
“Would you like to go back to sleep?” Snape asked, his tone unusually gentle and Harry felt a little disoriented.
Harry nodded again and heard Snape walk over to him. He felt his professor’s hands guiding him to the other end of the cot where he laid his head down on the softest pillow he had ever felt. As Snape began to sort out Harry’s limbs and fix the covers he began to lightly scold the boy.
“I’ll have to ask that you don’t go exploring on your own without telling me first, at least until you start to regain some of your sight. It was a bit terrifying to wake up with you nowhere in sight and not in easy sight of my doorway either. When you wake up again I’m happy to help you explore anything but please wait for me to do that. Is that understood?”
Snape’s tone booked no argument but his tone was much softer and gentler than Harry was ever used to hearing. He nodded his assent and held perfectly still as Snape tucked the blankets around his body. He had never once been tucked in and now the most feared professor was tucking him in as if it were a normal occurrence. He felt a bit of mental and emotional whiplash.
“Are you okay, Harry?” Snape asked softly.
“Yeah, it’s just… I feel… I don’t know. I’m just not used to this I guess. You being all nice and kind and stuff. Feels weird. Not to say that I don’t like it or anything, quite the opposite actually, feels really nice to be cared for and everything especially since I don’t normally-” Harry broke off suddenly as he realised he was rambling and sharing something so vulnerable. “It’s nothing.” he finished lamely.
“I suppose that would come as some sort of shock.” Snape mused. “I think we’ll need to talk more over breakfast. For now, though, sleep.”
Harry didn’t need to be told twice and as soon as he relaxed his body, he was out, not even making it to hear the wall of the cot pulled completely up.
Severus went about his morning routine pensively. He was planning how exactly to tell Harry he was supposed to be his Godfather and how close he’d been with the boy’s parents and no matter how he phrased it it still sounded a bit unbelievable, considering how he had acted before this. He was toying with the idea of having Minerva come down to attest to the truth when he heard the floo flare to life and the calling of Narcissa. He hurried out to her, stuffing his feet into his slippers as we did so.
“Morning Cissy, thank you so much for calling on such short notice.” He said as he came into his sitting room.
He pulled up short, however, to find her fully there and perched on the arm of his arm chair. He quickly overcame his surprise, however, and strode over to pull her into a quick hug.
“Between your letter and then Draco’s letter, I figured it might be best if I popped on over instead of just calling.” She said by way of explanation.
“Well thank you,” Snape told her sincerely. “I really do appreciate it.”
She smiled and took the other arm chair, leaving him to sit in his. It was no secret that he was a creature of habit, down to where he sat in his own home. A tray for tea popped up on the side table and Snape prepared a cup for both of them before leaning back into his chair and sighing deeply.
“So,” Narcissa started. “How is he?”
“He’s as okay as he can be.” Snape said. “Very obviously still blind when he woke up briefly. He’s currently asleep in the guest room. Nearly gave me a heart attack this morning though.”
“Oh?”
“He had a nightmare just a couple hours after I put him to bed and afterwards I brought him to my bed since he seemed to be very unhappy with me leaving him alone. I woke up a few hours after that though, to my bed empty and no sight of him. He’d made his way all the way back to the guest room and was exploring it all which is fine, just had me worried.”
Narcissa smiled amusedly as Severus ran a hand through his now short (and no longer greasy) hair and let out a big sigh.
“I can’t imagine that’s what I’m here to talk about though.” Narcissa reminded and Snape nodded.
“There’s a few things. First, he’s abused at home. Saw the scars littered all over his poor body. Second, he’s still malnourished and I think it may have stunted his growth permanently. He barely comes up to Draco’s shoulder. Then there's the fact that Harry has had his scars glamoured since before he even came to Hogwarts and was shocked that I’d managed to see anything. I checked and even Pomfrey couldn’t see through the glamour. He also apparently wets the bed fairly often, often enough that he wears nappies provided by the house elves and even consented to one last night. He’s undoubtedly touch starved, is incredibly anxious, has attempted suicide, and I can confidently assume he has PTSD. On top of all of that, last night after the nightmare and during his bath he started acting a bit oddly… more childlike. Had a hard time using his words and acted a bit like a sleepy toddler. He was back to normal this morning though.”
Narcissa nodded thoughtfully and stared into the fireplace. Her mother’s heart broke for this poor hurt child, and the slytherin side of her wanted to exact revenge on those who had hurt him. She had only met the boy twice but owed him so much. The first time she met him had been right after he had killed Voldemort. Her husband had been summoned to the graveyard that night and had sent her a patronus as soon as the dark wizard’s body had lifelessly hit the ground. She had seen Potter standing over Voldemort’s body and had also seen him take just a few wobbly steps towards the Diggory boy before collapsing and sobbing as he crawled the last couple feet towards his schoolmate and the portkey. The next time she saw him was at the train station this past September. He had looked exhausted and numb, only vaguely smiling at something one of the Weasley’s said to him before climbing onto the train. Her heart had broken on both occasions for him though but considering his feud with Draco, she hadn’t thought he’d receive her help or sympathy very well.
“So?” Severus prompted.
Narcissa cleared her head with a shake and looked up at her old friend.
“He’s going to need a lot of help.” She said seriously. “He’s going to need therapy, routine and structure, and consistent care and love. He’ll probably need help gaining weight as well. Nutrient potions, meal replacement shakes, meal plans, lots of snacks, etc. The regular Hogwarts fare will probably be too rich for him as well so different meals for him too, which I’m sure the house elves will be happy to provide. As for what happened after his nightmare, my best guess is his mind is trying to use age regression to cope with everything now that his mind and body feel like they’re in a safe place.”
Snape had been nodding along as he had figured as much for the rest but paused at the end.
“Age regression?” He asked curiously.
“He is slipping back into a younger mindset as he tries to cope with what's happened. Could be just a couple years younger than his actual age, or many years younger, even down to infancy. Depends on the regressor. It might be actually very helpful for him as he tries to recover from the past fifteen years of life. Might be something to talk with him about.”
“I wonder…” Snape paused. “I wonder if he’s actually okay with it already. He’s wearing a nappy, asked for it after the nightmare and seemed to care very little that his bed was just Draco’s old cot that the house elves had enlarged for him. Didn’t protest me feeding him last night either, or me bathing him. Even asked me to wash his body because he was starting to regress.”
“It's entirely possible that his body already knows and is trying to encourage his mind to follow.” Narcissa said.
“I already have permission to keep him over the summer.” Snape said musingly. “If I can find a good place for us to stay outside of the castle, I wonder how much he could relax and sink into the care he needs.”
“The manor is always open, if you’d like and if Harry is okay with it. Would give you extra hands as well. Lucius is really good with these sorts of cases and I know that once I explain to Draco what Harry has been through, he’ll find a way to reconcile with him. But only if Harry is okay with it.”
Snape nodded thoughtfully.
“I'll talk to him about it in a couple days when we’re a bit more settled in. In the meantime, would you care to stay until Harry awakes? If we do move in I’d rather him have as much time to get used to you and Lucius as possible.”
“Of course. I’ll even cook. I’m sure you're more than a little tired from the past night and have some sort of portion to check on or begin working on.”
Severus nodded again. She was right, he was tired and he had a whole list of potions that Harry would need in the coming weeks and months, as well as the one to return his eyesight. He’d start with the easier potions while Harry was asleep and later he’d go hunting for the ingredients. He’d hate to be out and have Harry wake up without him there. He stood up with a low groan and made his way to the door right next to the kitchen, trusting the monitoring charm to let him know when Harry woke up.