Kaylo sat on their shared bed staring out into nothing. He couldn’t bear to look at the scars on his arms and legs, just barely healed over from the attack. His beautiful wereleopard form had already been lost to him and he missed the solitude it provided. Now whenever he shifted the curse became louder and the urge to roam became unbearable. Kaylo had never been a vain person but he missed the sleek white fur he used to don. Now his form was twisted and a dull shade of grey.
He knew he needed to make a plan, to find somewhere to go. The urge to leave was already rising in him and he knew he wouldn’t be able to deny it for long. It felt like an itch under his skin, and he knew that he couldn't stay in this home much longer. He didn't want to stay in Tersā, he knew too many people here and he didn't want to see their pity. He supposed Porā was far enough away to try and start a new life. He was just getting ready to start packing when Torben entered the room.
"I thought you left," Kaylo said with little emotion, continuing to pack his belongings and never looking up to his once Deuk.
Torben didn't reply; he just continued to watch his Krdi pack. When he had stuffed all the things that were important to him in his pack, he made to leave, but Torben blocked the door. Kaylo refused to say anything. He knew if he opened his mouth or looked at his Deuk his resolve would crumble. He wanted to get through this with the little dignity he had left. Kaylo made to scoot around the large man, but Torben cocked his hip to clock him and rumbled low in his throat.
Kaylo knew from experience it was futile to try to make Torben budge; his Deuk was nothing if not stubborn, but he had to try. He made to slip between Torben's thick legs when the bigger man grabbed him by the scruff.
"Kaylo, look at me," Torben demanded. Kaylo shook his head. Torben moved his hand from the back of his beloved's neck to rub the bonding mark that hadn't quite faded. Kaylo released a desperate whine at the touch, both wanting it as a Krdi that needed to be soothed by his Deuk, but feeling a sense of wrongness there from the curse. Torben rumbled in his chest in response to the whine, and Kaylo allowed himself to be soothed one last time by the sounds before shaking it off, and out of Torben's grip.
The Berserker, caught off-guard by the moment, let Kaylo slip through his grasp and around him.
"You're not going out there by yourself," Torben growled in frustration.
Kaylo sighed, he didn't have the energy to be defiant. "Yes, I am."
"I won't let you," Torben denied.
"There's no other way this ends, Torben! I'm tainted and cursed. You know what happens to Ghweros in my position! And you can't be a Deuk to someone who's not a Krdi any longer. Go off and find a nice young Krdi to take care of. We both know I'm better off alone."
"I don't know that, and I can't believe it."
Kaylo knew Torben would never leave him, not without a good reason, not unless he pushed him away. And Kaylo couldn't do that. Torben deserved to live a full life, something that Kaylo could no longer give him.
"Well believe this, do you think I would be in this position if you had been there?" It was a low blow and Kaylo's stomach dropped as he looked at the stricken expression on Torben's face. Torben was deathly silent staring into Kaylo's eyes. "I'm better off without you." The words felt like hammering the last nail in his coffin, but he forced himself to walk out the door never once looking back at his beloved and best friend, or the house they had shared for the last five years. He could only move forward now.