
It's okay to be not okay (finale part one)
A lot had happened since that scared little muggleborn boy first stepped foot into Hogwarts. Xisuma had made so many friends and met people he would call their family; Hogwarts had become a home away from home for them and that was something he would cherish forever.
After his first few years he had lost all hope in making friends and had thought that he were to be alone for the rest of his life. But first Keralis and then the rest of the Hermits proved that that would never be the case.
Oh Keralis, sweet faced Keralis. The younger Slytherin had helped them through so much that they would be forever in his debt; he introduced them to the power of friendship and so much more. The man had urged him into chasing what he loved; helping people.
So one day, at the start of his fourth year, he stepped into the Hospital wing with only one goal in mind; learning how to become a healer.
Madam Pomfrey welcomed him with open arms and taught them all that she knew. She taught and she listened to all his problems, helping him open up about them. They talked about why they wanted to become a Healer and his father’s cancer and everything that was stressing him out with his studies. She had become a better mother figure than his own mother could ever hope to be.
They picked up healing extremely well, being a ‘natural talent’ as Madam Pomfrey would say, which they would deny but it was true. He quickly was able to help her, relieving some of the stress off of her. Treating small wounds that students had acquired so that Madam Pomfrey could focus on some of the more severe cases.
It’s how he met his second ever friend at Hogwarts; Doc. The, back then, third year had gotten a Quaffle to the head during one of the Quidditch matches and Madam Pomfrey could not help him because she was tending to one of the chasers who was taken out by a Bludger.
“Here,” they had said, “I’ve gotten some salve which will soothe the skin and limit the bruising.”
“Are you even allowed to use that?” the German had asked, confused as to why there was a fourth year treating him and not Madam Pomfrey.
“I’m,” Xisuma confirmed, “I’m helping Madam Pomfrey because I want to be a Healer later. Now hold still while I put the salve on, I don’t want it getting in your eyes,” Doc hummed and let Xisuma do his job, hissing slightly because of the coldness of the salve.
“I saw what happened, that wasn’t pretty,” Xisuma told him while applying the salve, “Probably have Madam Pomfrey check for a concussion later.”
“I’m going to kill Biffa,” Doc groaned and Xisuma chuckled, “Please don’t, I’m sure that it wasn’t intentional. Maybe give him some glasses instead,” he proposed and that is what Doc did the following day. He was cleared from the Hospital wing when Madam Pomfrey confirmed that he did not have a concussion and he transformed some poppy’s, his favourite flower, into a pair of glasses which he gave to the Chaser.
The next of the Hermits that they met was Cleo, a Slytherin from Doc’s year. She had protected some first year students from a bullying Gryffindor and had gotten a few punches to her head. Her injuries were not nearly as bad though when you saw how bad the Gryffindor looked like.
She was put in detention for what she had done of course, but while it first was a month, Xisuma managed to knock it down to two weeks. After all she had protected the first years, who Xisuma called to him for a testimony.
Cleo decided that she liked him from then on, which they were glad for, as they did not want to be on the witch’s bad side. She could be very scary when she wanted to be.
Whenever the tree Slytherins had any questions regarding their studies or just advice or help in general, he would always be there for them. No matter what.
After that came Stress. Stress was their Houseteam Beater and ended up in the Hospital Wing more often than not. It was Hufflepuff’s second match and they were playing against Gryffindor. X did not really care for Quidditch all that much, he had never really understood its concept and he was not in a hurry to do so. But when Madam Pomfrey asked them if they could be on standby for the match, he was more than willing to watch a game.
Most of the players got off pretty unscathed; Gryffindor’s Keeper got knocked off his broom only once and one of the Hufflepuff’s chasers got a bludger to the chest, but it was nothing serious. That was until one of the Gryffindor Beaters missed the Bludger and hit Stress’s head instead. The poor girl was knocked unconscious and fell off her broom into the sand.
Madam Pomfrey immediately beckoned him to follow her onto the field and Engorgio’d a stretcher that she carried in her pocket.
“Now Xisuma, what I want you to do is levitate her to the Hospital wing and check for a concussion like I taught you. After that, check with an X-ray spell for any broken bones and note them down. I trust you’ll do as you see fit,” Xisuma nodded and casted a quick Wingardium Leviosa on the stretcher and levitated her towards the Hospital wing.
When they got there he checked for a concussion, she definitely had one, and scanned her for broken bones. She had been quite lucky, as she only had a broken shoulder blade, which was easy to fix through magic. But while Xisuma had practically mastered the Episkey spell, he was hesitant to perform it, deciding to leave it to Madam Pomfrey in case something else was going on in there. Instead they grabbed the same salve he had used on Doc and put it on her head and neck.
Madam Pomfrey came in ten minutes later and looked at what Xisuma had written down before checking it herself.
“Great job, you did everything perfectly!” she remarked, surprised and a bit proud, “Good on leaving the shoulder blade to me, I first need to reset some of the muscles before I can mend it. Good eye,” Xisuma smiled shyly and went to the Gryffindor Keeper who had sprained his wrist soon after Stress had gotten injured, but had kept playing.
Stress woke up a few hours later and had thanked him profusely, but admitting that it would probably not be the last time she would visit here. She was right of course and every time Xisuma treated her they would have a jolly good time.
The Quidditch team did not end with Stress, soon after he had an Xb on his hands. It was the last Quidditch match of the season and the second year had gotten injured due to a Bludger that knocked him off his broom.
The halfblood ended up in their care and was in pretty rough shape; he had a broken foot, a broken arm and lots of bruises. But it was nothing he and Madam Pomfrey could not fix!
She had started teaching him how to mend broken bones and he was already able to mend small fractures, which is why they mended Xb’s broken arm. His foot they left to Madam Pomfrey, it having too many bones for him to feel confident about.
He hung out a lot with him while he was staying in the Hospital wing, trying to rid Xb of the boredom he knew came with being in the infirmary and after Xb was able to leave the Hospital wing he had turned to Xisuma.
“Thanks man, being in the Hospital wing is so much more bearable when you have another student there to help you pass the time,” he said gratefully to the older Hufflepuff.
He met Beef at the start of his fifth year and his second as a medi-wizard in training. Some nasty Slytherins had thrown something in the poor man’s potion and the explosion had left him unconscious. It was Etho and Hypno who carried him in with the neon green of the potion still dripping off his robes and Xisuma could not help but curse professor Snape for being so careless when one could clearly see that the potion in question was extremely poisonous.
“Oh dear,” they exclaimed and ran towards the three, making sure that he put his dragonhide gloves on before touching him, “One of you, get Madam Pomfrey, she’s in the back. The other, help me put him in that bed over there,” he ordered and pointed towards a bed in the more reclusive section of the Hospital wing.
Hypno ran back from where Madam Pomfrey’s office was, the woman in question hot on his heels. “What happened to the poor boy?!” she exclaimed as she saw the state of the Ravenclaw.
“Some Slytherins messed with his potion and it exploded,” Etho informed her. “Then why, in the name of Merlin, did the man not remove the potion off him first!” she said furiously and she waved with her wand to remove the potion from Beef’s robes, before turning to Hypno and Etho and doing the same with them. Luckily they had not made skin contact with it because that would have been messy.
“Xisuma, can you grab the anti-venenum? Should be in the cupboard next to the secondary bookcase,” he nodded and quickly walked over to the cupboard in question and began looking for the anti-venenum. They never had to grab that one before and that meant that this was going to be another severe injury, he had to be on the top of his game right now.
He handed it to Madam Pomfrey and watched as she began applying it to Beef’s burns. The skin sizzled and green blood flowed out of the burns. Uh oh, that was not a good sign…
They turned around to see Etho and Hypno still standing there and quickly ushered them away so Madam Pomfrey and him could work in peace.
“No, we want to be there with him!” “He needs us right now!” Xisuma signed and pinched the bridge of their nose.
“Boys, we need our full concentration on making Beef better and that’s not going to work if you keep distracting us. You can see him when we’re done, okay?” This seemed to settle the two, as they walked out and perched themselves right behind the door Xisuma was now closing. Yeah, those two would not be gone any time soon.
In the end he and Madam Pomfrey managed to get the poison out of his system and he was able to let the two friends back into the room, only to find out that they had multiplied; Xb, False and Pause had joined their waiting, wanting to make sure their friend was okay.
They were not the most normal when it came to all the visitors he had met over the course of last year; Etho was reading their transfiguration book upside down on a chair, balancing on his head. False was pacing in front of the bed with Quidditch in the Ages in her hands. Xb sat cross legged next to Etho, trying to charm a cup to tapdance. Pause sat normally on a chair but, in contrast to Etho, he was reading his book upside down. And Hypno also sat normally on a chair, staring spaced out at the ceiling.
Beef eventually woke up and so Xisuma headed over to the weird friend group.
“How’re ya feeling Beef?” the others looked up startled before realising that their friend had in fact woken up. They quickly surrounded him and began explaining what had happened and what X had done for him.
Beef shot him a grateful smile and his eyes held a promise; I’ll never forget this, thank you.
Meeting Joe was not a normal occasion. I mean, when was it ever? The Ravenclaw seemed to pop up out of nowhere and at the most unexpected of times. But that was Joe and he liked that about him because you never knew what to expect when in close proximity to him.
Which is why X should not have been as surprised as he was when he suddenly found the roles to be reversed. He was not meant to end up in a hospital for goodness sake!
They were spending their Christmas at home together with their brother and their parents, it would be the last Christmas they would ever spend together and they all knew it. His father would die not soon after.
It started with a couple of pops that Xisuma had learned to associate with apparating, but why would anyone want to apparate to him? None of his friends knew how to apparate!
His thoughts were quickly interrupted by loud yelling and the sound of glass shattering; their door was broken into. Three men with horrifying silver masks and dressed in black robes entered their living room and Xisuma quickly went to stand in front of his family, his wand in his hand.
“Don’t make me laugh, filthy Mudblood, how is one of your kind meant to inflict any harm on us,” one cackled, as they swooped into the room.
“You’ve stolen magic that is only supposed to belong to real wizards, not fake ones!” the second one yelled with a sickening grin that you could just hear from behind the mask. Xisuma was trembling in place, but remained where he was.
They were not going to hurt his family, over his dead body.
“You know what boys, I think we should teach the little Mudblood and his Muggle family that he does not belong here in this world. None of you do,” the third one spoke and muttered a spell.
Xisuma felt white hot pain flare up on his face and he had no choice but to fall to his knees and scream silently. It hurt so much.
Everything became a blur after that. They thought they heard his family screaming at them. And dualling, they thought they had heard that too.
But to be honest, he was more focussed on trying not to feel like he was dying. It sure felt like it, until he passed out that was.
He did not expect to ever wake up, but he did. He only had to take one look around the room before realising that he was at St. Mungo’s, it was just like Madam Pomfrey had described to him; pristine white with cyan furniture.
Next to him were his parents and his brother, they all looked concerned at him from where they were sat on their chairs.
“What happened,” they asked them, their words sluggish from the morphine they had given him.
“I believe they called them Death Eaters,” Evilex started and Xisuma involuntarily shuddered, as the memories came back to him, “I don’t know what they are though, but they sounded like bad people,” Xisuma nodded to the best of his abilities.
“Death Eaters belong to the dark side of the Wizarding World,” he began to explain, “They’re purebloodists, people who only care for their families to only consists out of full witches and wizards. They take it to an extreme level in order to make sure that magic only remains to the ones they think deserve it; the people of pureblood,” Evilex drew a sharp breath.
“And you’re- you’re not of so called ‘pureblood’ because we don’t have magic?” he asked and Xisuma nodded. Their face was starting to burn again, although not as severe as when that Death Eater had casted that spell.
“Yeah, we’re called Muggleborns. Born of Muggle parents,” Evilex nodded along while their parents just stared at them, “Mudblood is a swear word used against people like me, because they think of non-magic users as scum; beneath people like them.”
“That’s just low,” Evilex countered sharply which made Xisuma smile and their face hurt even more. Just what had they done to his face?
“My face is hurting,” he thus stated and Evilex let out an audible gulp.
“Well… they tried to make a statement before the good magic people came in and arrested them…,” his twin trailed off.
“A statement?” Xisuma asked fearfully, afraid of the answer that would be given to him.
“They put an ‘X’ on your face,” their mother stated bluntly, speaking for the first time since they had woken up.
“Can I- can I see?” his voice wavered, Merlin, why did his voice waver?
Evilex got up and grabbed the mirror in his nightstand, turning it so that he could see himself in the mirror.
Their stomach dropped. Across their face was a gigantic ‘X’ stretching all the way from their brows to their jawbone. It was red and ugly looking.
It was definitely cursed, he noted, otherwise they would have removed it by now. Just his luck.
His twin and his parents could not stay forever, as they had the horses to get back to, but they promised to visit him at least a couple of times during the week he had to spend there.
It was scary being alone, they could feel the burning of the scar and they felt ashamed of it. He could get out of bed, the medi-witch in charge of him had told him so, but he chose not to. They did not want to feel the stares of everyone here, they did not want to attract any attention.
But on the fifth day of being at St. Mungo’s he had to. Joy, his medi-witch, had to tend to another patient and was not able to bring him dinner like she had done every other day. But she gave him instructions as to where he needed to be to get food.
He cautiously stepped out of his room and tiptoed to where Joy had told him to go.
“Howdy,” came a voice from behind X, startling them, “You’re the Hufflepuff from the Hospital wing no? Xisuma Void?” X turned around to find a boy with hair so unmistakably green that he could have recognised him from anywhere; Joe Hills. He had never interacted much with the Ravenclaw, him being two years below them, but they had heard the rumours of his family being Death Eaters.
And that was scary, what if he was there to finish him off?
But despite all of those thoughts he remained his Hufflepuff self and tried to keep being as kind as he could, maybe he would change his mind?
“Yeah I’m, hi,” Joe’s eyes never trailed to the scar now downing his face and kept eye contact during their whole conversation.
“Sucks being on the opposite side of the hospital, ey,” the third year remarked, kicking some imaginary dirt in front of him, “they can be so boring.” X had to snicker, that was indeed true.
“But I heard from Cleo that you make them more bearable,” Joe retorted and Xisuma stopped in his tracks, “Makes sense to return the favour, no?”
“I- what?” Xisuma brought out, unsure as to what the Ravenclaw was suggesting.
“I could write Cleo, Doc and Keralis? Ask them to come hang with you,” Joe smiled kindly, “That way you don’t have to be lonely here.”
“But, it’s Christmas break! I can’t expect you to give up time with your families just for me, that would not be fair,” they exclaimed and Joe facepalmed.
“X, you seem to forget that our parents are purebloods; they do not care for family bonding time. Besides, what’s life without a little bit of risk? I know Cleo would love to get away from her family right now, even if it’s just for a couple of hours. You would not want to take that away from her, now would you?” Xisuma narrowed their eyes at the younger. Had they not known Joe was Ravenclaw, then he had most certainly mistaken him for a Slytherin with the way he was guilt tripping them.
“I-, you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?” all he got back was an innocent smile.
“Fine,” he relented finally, “But you have to come as well, can’t have you going back to a house without getting family bonding time. We can be your family for a while. We can be each other's family for a while,” he corrected himself.
True to his word Joe showed up the following morning with the three Slytherins in tow. They perched themselves onto the chairs his family had been sitting on previously and chatted for hours.
For the first time that week X did not feel bored.
False was quite accident prone. She often got into fights, which she won more often than not, but it caused her to visit the Hospital wing a lot. It happened so often that X did not even need to ask what had happened and just treated what injury she had that time while telling her that getting into fights was bad. She never listened though but they knew that; she would always stick to her ideals and that was something they respected.
“They deserved it X, they really did,” False retorted, her voice sounding small, as Xisuma bandaged her knuckles for what felt like the thousandth time, “They made fun of Hypno. They called him a freak because he keeps zoning out when he has visions, they even tried to push him over while being in one. If I hadn’t stopped them I don’t know what would have happened.”
And something in Xisuma snapped at those words.
How dare someone take a Seer out of a vision so suddenly! They were lucky False had been there to prevent that, otherwise Hypno could have ended up seriously injured.
He finished bandaging her knuckles, stood up and asked sharply; “Who were they?”
A smirk began to appear on False’s face as she realised what he was about to do and she gave him their names.
The students in question ended up in detention with Snape for two months straight.
It was nearing spring and Xisuma had been working in the Hospital for one and a half year now and their healing was getting pretty good. Madam Pomfrey would tell you that they were a natural at it, but he was humble and did not deal well with compliments.
In those one and a half years he and Madam Pomfrey had formed a close bond with each other and he had gained the trust of the medi-witch. Which is why he let him help with a student Xisuma was never allowed to help before; Ren Diggity-Dog.
He realised why the second he stepped into the area behind the curtain. Those scars and scratches could only be the cause of one thing; a werewolf. He had learned to never judge in his life, the Wizarding world making him understand the reason why even more. He knew how it felt being judged, being a Muggleborn and all that, he knew how the gazes of the others burned into his back when he had returned to Hogwarts with a giant cross on his face.
And they were never going to judge Ren for something that was not within his control.
They immediately grabbed a salvelike potion used for magical wounds and began applying it to the Gryffindor’s angry red scratches. Madam Pomfrey smiled proudly at them from the corner of the little private area.
“I knew you would not judge,” she explained herself at his confused glance, “I asked Ren if it was okay and do you know what he said?” Xisuma nodded no.
“He said that he knew you would not care for his condition, he had seen it in the way you treat everyone. He said that he saw that it didn’t matter who the patient was to you, you’d be there for them and make their day,” he would be lying if he said that those words did not touch him, because they did, “I trust you Xisuma and so do the other students. You’ve come a long way, my boy.”
He did not trust his voice, so he nodded with a watery smile, trying to get back to applying the potion to Ren’s wounds but his hands were shaking a bit too much. Madam Pomfrey took the potion from his hands and placed it back on the nightstand before giving Xisuma a big, warm, motherly hug. She held them close while they silently sobbed in her shoulder (they had grown a few inches since they started working here) and muttered ‘thank you’s.
From that moment on he was there for Ren whenever the boy needed someone of his age to talk to. He spent hours at his bed when he was not allowed to have visitors and helped him with his homework whenever he was too worn out to think anymore. He did not want him to feel as alone as he had done himself during all those years.
Ren was incredibly grateful for it.
Scar had been a regular at the Hospital wing for a while now. Ever since the man had gotten attacked by a werewolf when he was young, he had been stuck in a wheelchair and needed multiple check ups per month to see if his systems were still functioning okay. But even besides those check ups the man would stumble into the Hospital wing on occasion, seeming to not be able to keep out of trouble.
Scar kept joking that he just could not live without him and Madam Pomfrey, and while it was true that Scar really loved them both, it was also true that the Hufflepuff was a man of disasters.
They first met in Xisuma’s fourth year when Scar had fallen off the stairs due to his wheelchair floating a little bit too high. Xisuma had been standing on the ground floor when they saw the poor boy plummeting to, what could have been, his death.
“Aresto momentum!” they had quickly shouted and had slowed his fall drastically. Fourth years did not learn this spell, it was a very difficult one that even the sixth years who actually learned it were struggling with. But they had always been a natural at charms and had learned the spell on their own earlier that year.
After that he quickly carried the trembling first year to the Hospital wing, where he and Madam Pomfrey patched him up. He stayed with him until he stopped shaking. After that both he and Scar had to get back to their classes, but Xisuma made sure that he was well taken care of before he had to leave.
That evening they requested an audience with professor Dumbledore to professor Sprout, who, aware of the circumstances, agreed. She brought them up to the bronze statue, said the password and walked them to Dumbledore’s office.
He wanted to have a good talk with the man regarding the wheelchair safety of his castle because this would simply not do.
Xisuma had started a petition during lunch for a disabled friendly Hogwarts and had gained almost three hundred signatures already. Most of them were from students that knew he worked at the Hospital wing and respected him for that, but a lot also came from his friends who had gone around their respective Common rooms asking to support his petition.
With the piece of parchment in his hand he knocked confidently on the wooden door that, with a wave from Dumbledore’s hand, opened.
“Ah, mister Void, to what do I owe the visit on this pleasant evening?” Xisuma quickly looked outside; there was a thunderstorm going on.
“I’m sure you have heard what happened today?” they started and professor Dumbledore nodded, “Yes, the tragic incident of young mister Goodtimes. Impressive Aresto Momentum might I add and that for a fourth year? Well done,” Xisuma nodded a bit awkwardly, as said previously; he did not deal well with compliments.
“Thanks sir, but that’s not what I’d like to talk about. I want to discuss the safety of Hogwarts for disabled kids like Scar Goodtimes. What happened today can not happen again,” they stated, “That’s why I’d like an audience with the school council. I’ve started a petition for elevators at Hogwarts, it’s signed by three hundred students already and it’s very likely that that number will only increase,” and with those words he put the parchment on professor Dumbledore’s desk, the man in question looking impressed.
He got that audience in the end and he managed to convince the council to put elevators at Hogwarts, but that still did not make up for the damage that was done to poor Scar, physical and mental.
They voiced their troubles to Madam Pomfrey, who directed them to a location on the far ends of Hogsmead which he went to the next time they were allowed to visit the all-magical town. It was a pet adoption centre who trained their pets in recognising and dealing with mental struggles like Scar was right now.
He went inside and told the witch at the counter why they were there. The witch excitedly stimmed with her hands as they told her what he wanted to do for Scar and she promised that everything would be arranged by the time he would next be visiting.
All that struggle was worth it when they finally saw the look on Scar’s face as they entered the shop. The boy quickly became enamoured with a grumpy but cute looking cat that seemed just as enamoured with him.
“Magical animals can sense one's intentions and feelings,” the witch explained to him, “Jellie has sensed what Scar is dealing with right now and she’s decided that she wants to take care of him,” Xisuma held a hand over their heart as he was filled with joy by just looking at the two.
Yes, with Jellie Scar would be alright. He was sure of that.