Chapter 3
Chapter 3
Morning came, bright and warm. The sun’s rays bathed the room in its heat. The light spilled over Harry’s body. Arching his back, Harry stretched his arms and legs out until his body gave a satisfying crack. Turning his face toward the window, his dark hair spilled over his opening eyes, filtering the morning light.
Sirius sat at the window staring off into the world beyond. The light playing upon his dark hair and sifting through his body casting rainbows across his floor as if he were glass. The man’s face was solemn as his grey-blue eyes watched the streets. Sitting up, the blankets Harry was under pooled at his slim waist. He had climbed into the bed sometime in the night.
“Something bothering you Sirius?” Harry questioned the man. The man’s eyes flickered toward him, before once again glancing outside.
“She won’t come pup. Not anymore.” The Arctic chill seeps through his veins as the morning light glitters off the scar on his wrist. Clenching his teeth, Harry fights the tears that threaten to choke him.
“And you? What will you do?” He barely gets out. He fights the words and hates needing to say them. But he knows betrayal. Has been abandoned more times than he would like. By nearly everyone. Everyone but the one before him. His soul hangs in the balance. Waiting. Waiting for the words that would send him on a downward spiral.
Anger.
Rage.
Hate.
It simmers beneath his skin as the duplicity of his sister in all but blood comes crashing down around him. He’s not breathing. His lungs constrict. Spots appear. His vision tunnels. Then he hears the words he so desperately longs to hear. Even when he knows it’s a lie. Even when he knows it is only a matter of time.
“I am with you until the end. I will never leave you.”
And he breathes again. Great choking gasps. Tears clog his throat as he cries. He can feel it then, icy transparent fingers that pat his head as his fingers curl into the sheets. He presses his face into the mattress in an attempt to quiet his anguish.
Yet, Bella’s father still hears and there is a warm pair of arms that gathers him in an embrace. It’s awkward, his new limbs too short when they should extend more, but the embrace is a welcome one. He cries harder. How long has it been since he had been held like this?
How long has it been since he allowed himself to purge his heart of its sorrow? This new abandonment strikes him harder than ever, for Hermione had been his sister. For so long she had been with him.
In every incarnation, she had been there to pick up the pieces of his battered soul. But no longer, would she, it seemed. He had lost another and it hurt. It felt like he was being held beneath the crutasious. He cried for a long time. His tears stained Charlie’s shirt. By the time his tears trickled away he felt hollow inside. His heart shriveled up and dead.
Charlie helped him out of the bed and awkwardly led him to the bathroom. He quietly helped him wash up. Using a washcloth to clean Harry’s body and helping him to change into a new shirt and pants. Charlie said nothing as he did this. Though he wouldn’t meet Harry’s eyes for a while afterward. Harry was dead inside and perhaps Charlie read that in his expression for he didn’t demand him to do anything himself.
Charlie treated Harry like the broken doll that he was. He brushed his hair and attempted to make him breakfast. Before he gave that up as a lost cause and just poured him some cereal. Charlie must have called into work and called the school for he didn’t leave.
It was many hours later before Harry came out of his sorrow-filled stupor. Sirius was sitting beside him, combing his fingers through Harry’s hair. Charlie was in the kitchen making something. The scent of coffee wafted through his nose. A cup was placed in his hands, the steaming liquid dark and thick. Charlie took a seat across from him as Harry lifted the drink to his lips and took a sip. The bitter liquid coated his tongue, he closed his eyes to savor it. Opening his eyes, he found Charlie watching him.
“Are you okay now Bells?” He asked. Harry looked down and stared into his drink. Swallowing thickly he nodded his head, heart heavy.
“Now I’m not going to ask what that was about, though I can guess. I’m just going to give you a bit of advice.” Charlie said as he breathed in deep. “Betrayal and loss. It hurts. Lord knows it does. But wallowing in it won’t do you any good. You are only showing them that they affected you. That it mattered. You are letting them win.” Charlie said gruffly as he spread his hands out.
“So live. You must live Bella. Go out and do something. There is a great big world out there just waiting for you to go explore it.” He continued as he motioned with his hands. Sirius was nodding along to what Charlie was saying.
“Listen to him pup,” Sirius instructed, his voice heard only by Harry. Harry sighed as green eyes stared at Charlie.
“Now maybe…Maybe you thought this guy was the one. And maybe right now you can’t think of a world without him in it. But he’s gone, Bella. We tried to get in touch with them but they never came. Not even when they….” Charlie trailed off, clenching his fists. His eyebrows were furrowed.
“Well, they didn’t come. Don’t let them win. If you do, if you allow this hurt to fester inside, it will eat away at you until there is nothing left. We only live once Bella.” Harry snorted at that. Charlie continued as if he didn’t hear Harry.
“So you should take this life and do all that you can with it. Go climb the tallest mountain, swing from a tree, go to France, and dance naked in the rain….” Harry let out a watery chuckle.
“Dance naked in the rain, Dad?” Charlie smiled and chuckled too. His hair fell into his eyes.
“I don’t care. Just live a little Bells. Please.” Charlie finished.
“They really didn’t come back?” Harry asked as he took another sip of coffee. Grateful for something to blame his sudden bout of emotional turmoil on.
“No,” Charlie answered. Harry’s hair fell onto his face. Pushing it behind his ear, he took a sip of the scalding liquid as he thought about that. The knowledge that the Cullens left Bella to rot a pulsing magma that set his veins alight.
“Do we still have that metal trash can in the backyard and the lighter fluid?”
Harry questioned. His eyes smoldering as he stared as if hypnotized by his coffee.
“Yes, why?” Charlie rasped. His head tilted in curiosity.
“The stuff they left me. I want to burn it. All of it.” Harry murmured. His voice edged with steel and a rasping growl coating his words. Charlie stared at him. Harry could feel his eyes, watching.
“Okay, Bells. We will do it. When?” Charlie asked.
“Now?” Harry wondered. Charlie jerked back in shock and stared at him for a long moment. Finally, he nodded.
“I’ll go find some matches,” Charlie said gruffly as he pushed himself up from the armchair. As he left the room to search out matches Sirius leaned towards Harry.
“Are you sure about this pup? Once it’s done, those items will be gone. While you can conjure similar items it won’t be the same.” Sirius inquired. His eyes seemed to stare straight through him. Harry hung his head, long hair tickling the sides of his face as it spilled over his knees. Annoyed, Harry pushed it back.
“Yes, I am sure. The Cullens are dead to me. Whatever love that might have carried over from my counterpart has all but dissipated in light of their leaving me to rot. Now there is only hate. They better never come back. Oh, what I will do to them if they do…” Sirius made a sound of agreement in the back of his throat as Charlie came back into the room.
“Found some, Bells. Now where are the items? I will get them. You stay where you are.” Charlie asked and then ordered. Harry nodded his consent.
“On my side table. Next to my medicine.” Harry replied.
“I will be down in a minute,” Charlie answered as he raced up the stairs. Eager to get this over with.
When he returned, Harry was standing in the kitchen just having put his empty mug in the sink.
“I thought I told you to stay on the couch.” Harry had the grace to look sheepish, but he held out his hands in silent demand. Charlie ignored his reaching hands and grabbed his arm. Leading him to the back porch, He opened the sliding door.
It was awkward. The two of them hobbling outside, Charlie’s arm in his and a bundle of things in his other. But the two made it out into the grass where Charlie had Harry stand for a minute as he dragged a fold-out chair over to him. Sighing gratefully as his body was still weak from magical exhaustion from his healing, Harry sunk into the cloth while Charlie prepped the fire. Charlie stuffed some old newspaper into the bin and sprayed it with lighter fluid. Striking a match, he stood back and dropped it in.
The newspaper caught. It only took a moment before it became a smoldering flame. Harry smiled bitterly, rising from his seat he padded over to his new father.
“Are you sure you want to do this Bells?” He asked while holding out the items. Harry stared at the objects, resentment coiling in his stomach. Nodding his head he took each item and dropped them one by one into the fire.
“With this, I will be free…this is goodbye to the old me and hello to the new…” Harry said as he dropped the CD with the lullaby on it into the flames. Taking great pleasure in the plastic warping and melting away. The wind blew around him, tousling his hair and feeding the fire. When they were finished, they sat for a time just watching the flames flicker until the air turned cold, the flames died away and there was nothing left but ash. Swallowing thickly, Harry shifted his feet. His mouth was parched, a curious warmth climbing up his throat. As the chill of the coming night seeped into Harry’s bones, he pulled down his sleeves covering a curious scar that glittered like diamonds in the fading light of the sun.