Chapter 1
A/N: I don’t own Harry Potter nor Twilight
Edward got out of his car when Bella stepped out of the truck, and came to meet her. He reached to take her book bag from her. That was normal. But he shoved it back onto the seat. That was not normal.
"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking her hand.
Bella didn't answer. She couldn't think of a way to protest, but instantly knew that she wanted to. She didn't like this. This was bad, this was very bad, the voice in her head repeated again and again.
But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled her along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. She followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what she wanted, she reminded herself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking her?
They’d gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. Barely on the trail - she could still see the house.
Some walk.
Edward leaned against a tree and stared at Bella, his expression unreadable.
"Okay, let's talk," She said. It sounded braver than it felt.
He took a deep breath.
"Bella, we're leaving."
She took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. She had thought she was prepared. But still had to ask.
"Why now? Another year - "
"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."
His answer confused her. She thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did they have to leave if they were going? Bella stared at him, trying to understand what he meant.
He stared back coldly.
With a roll of nausea, she realized she'd misunderstood.
"When you say we - ," Bella whispered.
"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.
She shook her head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before she could speak.
"Okay," She said. "I'll come with you."
"You can't, Bella. Where we're going... It's not the right place for you."
"Where you are is the right place for me."
"I'm no good for you, Bella."
"Don't be ridiculous." She wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like she was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."
"My world is not for you," he said grimly.
"What happened with Jasper - that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"
"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected."
"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay - "
"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.
"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" She shouted, furious, the words exploding out of her - somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you - it's yours already!"
He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder - like the liquid gold had frozen solid.
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on her face, watching as she absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as Bella repeated the words in her head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You... don't... want me?" She tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No."
She stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz - hard and clear and very deep. She felt like she could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could she see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.
"Well, that changes things." She was surprised by how calm and reasonable her voice sounded. It must be because she was so numb. She couldn't realize what he was telling her. It still didn't make any sense.
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't." Her voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through her, trickling like acid through her veins. "Don't do this."
He just stared at Bella, and she could see from his eyes that her words were far too late. He already had.
"You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so she had no argument. How well she knew that she wasn't good enough for him.
She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. She tried again.
"If... that's what you want."
He nodded once.
Her whole body went numb. She couldn't feel anything below the neck.
"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much," he said.
She wondered what he saw on her face, because something flickered across his own in response. But, before she could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask.
"Anything," she vowed, her voice faintly stronger.
As she watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into her own with an intensity that was overwhelming.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
She nodded helplessly.
His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself - for him."
She nodded again. "I will," Bella whispered.
He seemed to relax just a little.
"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
Her knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. She could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind her ears. His voice sounded farther away.
He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human - your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."
"And your memories?" She asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in her throat, like she was choking.
"Well" - he hesitated for a short second - "I won't forget. But my kind... we're very easily distracted." He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes.
He took a step away from her. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."
The plural caught her attention. This surprised Bella; she would have thought she was beyond noticing anything.
"Alice isn't coming back," she realized. Bella didn't know how he heard her - the words made no sound - but he seemed to understand.
He shook his head slowly, always watching her face.
"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."
"Alice is gone?" Her voice was blank with disbelief.
"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."
She was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in her head, and she heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed her the X-rays. You can see it's a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of her severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly.
She tried to breathe normally. She needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare.
"Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.
"Wait!" She choked out the word, reaching for him, willing her deadened legs to carry her forward.
She thought he was reaching for her, too. But his cold hands locked around her wrists and pinned them to her sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to her forehead for the briefest instant. Her eyes closed.
"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against her skin.
There was a light, unnatural breeze. Her eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.
He was gone.
With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that her action was useless, she followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but she walked forward without thinking. She could not do anything else. She had to keep moving. If she stopped looking for him, it was over.
Love, life, meaning... over.
She walked and walked. Time made no sense as she pushed slowly through the thick undergrowth. It was hours passing, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the same no matter how far she went. She started to worry that she was traveling in a circle, a very small circle at that, but she kept going. Bella stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, she fell often, too.
Finally, she tripped over something - it was black now, she had no idea what caught her foot - and stayed down. She rolled onto her side, so that she could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken.
As she lay there, she had a feeling that more time was passing than she realized. Bella couldn't remember how long it had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground.
Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black. Save for the flashes of lightning that shot across the sky, back lighting the darkened clouds that blanketed the expanse above her. Perhaps there was no moon that night - a lunar eclipse, a new moon.
A new moon. She shivered, though she wasn't cold. Something cold and wet pierced the haze that had over taken her mind. A drop of rain trailed down her forehead, rolling down the planes of her face and mixing with her tears. Her fingers twitched as another landed on her palm. More still came, until the sky opened up and the heavens unleashed their grief upon the Washington forests. Her limbs felt deadened as vibrations of thunder rumbled through the ground beneath her. A flash of light blinded her, followed by a deafening crash that throttled her eardrums.
She blinked rapidly to clear her sight. The scent of burning wood filled her nostrils, as an orange glow pulsed somewhere to her right. She turned her head, just in time to watch as a great pine broke in half, Bella could feel a breeze as the gravity took the tree. It fell to the ground, shaking the dirt under her. Lightning shot across the sky, rapidly. Booming thunder, following close behind.
Someone was shouting her name. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surrounded her, and the loud crashing of titans in the sky, but it was definitely her name. She didn't recognize the voice. Nor did she think about answering, she was dazed. Lightning was striking just a little closer each crash of thunder, she was in danger, and it was almost as if God had decided that her life no longer had meaning now that Edward had left. So He would end it. It took a long time to come to the conclusion that she should answer. By then, the calling had stopped.
Sometime later, the heat woke her up. She didn’t think she'd really fallen asleep; she was just lost in an unthinking stupor, holding with all her strength to the numbness that kept her from realizing what she didn't want to know.
The heat bothered her a little. It was hot. She unwrapped her arms from around her legs to cover her face to block out the spider webbing of light in the sky.
It was then that she heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes it sounded like several voices were calling at once. She tried to breathe deeply. Smoke clogged her lungs, so she coughed and sat up. She remembered that she should answer, but didn't think they would be able to hear her. Would she be able to shout loud enough? By then, the smoke had snuffed out the glow of the fire, the rain having put it out while she dozed.
Shakily, she pushed herself to her feet. Some form of self-preservation making itself known. Though, it would be too late. Suddenly, lightning burst forth from the ground to meet its brother that pierced the earth from the sky, throwing her off her feet. She flew backwards, smashing into the trunk of the tree behind her. She fell in a limp heap to the floor below. Coughing, wheezing, frantically trying to get her breath back as hair stood on end. She tried to stand, but her legs were too weak to support her, so she stumbled. Not even a day gone and she was already breaking her promise to Edward. She had to get home. Charlie. He is waiting.
But as she pushes herself once more to her feet, she glances into the night, her vision alights in bluish white. Electric shock jolts through her, one billion volts of electricity explodes from her flesh, white heat clouds her mind as blood vaporizes the moment it hits the air. Her ears bleed as thunder pulverizes her head. Her world detonates in agony. She blacks out.
Consciousness. It comes slowly. She is floating. Water laps at her fingertips, saturates her clothes, she can feel herself sinking. She cannot move. Pain. Unlike anything she ever felt courses through her in pulses. Like a heartbeat. Bu-boom. Bu-boom. Bu-boom. Her ears pulse to the beat, water tickles their edges as she feels herself sinking further still. Liquid floods her orifices as she chokes, water filling her lungs as she flails her rapidly deadening limbs. Peeling her eyes open, as she writhes. Attempting to stay afloat of the sea she found herself aloft in, was a task. Sputtering, she reaches toward the surface, frantically kicking heavy feet. Propelling herself upward, a hand breaks the surface, then her head. She gasps, spitting out water as she kicks her feet to stay afloat.
Her arms try to find purchase where there is none, she grows tired still and begins to sink again. Screaming for help she descends. Her eyes briefly sighting a figure standing atop the turbulent waves. Further still she sinks, no idea which way is up, which is down. Breath escapes her in a torrent of bubbles. She goes down, her clothes water logged, dragging her further into the deep. She breaks the surface again, only to fall. Her screams swallowed by the wind that howls in her broken ears. Stars burst forth across her vision as she lands. Something snaps as she crashes. White agony clouds over her mind as she struggles to fill her lungs. In and out. Breathe in and out Bella. A voice trickles across her mind, repeating until she got her breathing under control. She became aware of a dripping sound. Opening her eyes, she did not know when she had closed them, she looked above her.
An ocean made up the sky, its blue depths, crashing against each other. Small droplets fell down, hitting the limestone floor around her. Slowly, she became aware of the sound of footsteps. They were getting closer. She tried and failed to move. She could not. She tried to speak. She could not do that either. She was paralyzed. Tears of frustration and fear dribbled down her cheeks as the footsteps drew ever nearer. Until a figure walked into her line of sight. The figure was broad shouldered, dark hair spilled over a sinewy back that rippled with muscle beneath a mesh shirt. The figure was decidedly male as he turned to look at Bella.
Emerald eyes gazed coolly at her. Slowly he crouched, thick thighs covered in black leather flowed gracefully into a squat. His face was as if carved from a sculptor. High aristocratic cheek bones, full red lips, piercing eyes and arched brows. His face only marred by a single scar in the shape of a lightning bolt that extended from his left eye to the bottom of his chin. The man wore a necklace that carried a strange charm, a triangle bisected by a line with a circle inside of it.
“So, we finally meet.” His voice was cold, arctic chill and steel beneath it. Bella, gurgled as she tried to speak. Her mouth barely moving at all.
“It is strange how our lives are so very different, yet similar in so many ways…” The man continued. Bella choked, saliva pooling in her mouth. The man tilted his head, his glowing emeralds hard as he waved a careless hand. Suddenly, Bella could breathe again. The pain in her lungs having seemingly disappeared as if by magic. Though she still could not speak. “You grew up with family that loved you, while I did not. You were free to learn what you wanted from the world, while I could not. Yet. Yet…” The man pondered as he glanced up toward the vast ocean that made up the sky. His eyes flickering down, to meet Bella’s brown.
“Yet….we are similar as well. We both suffered betrayal from those we loved. Both believing others to be above ourselves in importance. Though I grew out of that in time. Both of us, when we love someone….we love too much. We give a piece of our very soul away to those we come to love. You, to that vampire and I….well she is long dead now…” Breathing through her nose and taking in gulps of air, Bella finally spoke. Though her voice was distorted and garbled. Almost as if she were under water.
“Who…ar..y…o….u…?” She gasped.
“Can you not feel it?” He asked as he trailed the back of his fingertips across her cheek. Bella shivered as warmth and belonging filled her in the wake of the man’s touch. “We are the same you and I? Can you not feel it? The bond?” He asked again. Bella’s eyes fluttered shut as the man splayed the palm of his hand across her neck, cupping her cheek. “Do you really not know me Bella? I’ve been with you since the day you were born.” He continued. His voice, like a balm of ice over her pain filled limbs. Staring at him through half lidded eyes, she saw his raven hair swaying in an invisible breeze, some strands wet from the ocean above him. Bella tried to shake her head, yet she still could not move.
“N..o…wher…aaa…..r.rr.e…..wwee? Wh…o….” Bella sputtered. The man arched a brow in question.
“We are in your mind, Bella. You really cannot tell? Do you really not know me?” The man’s eyes burned as he read the confusion in her gaze. Though something about his touch was familiar. She was numb. She didn’t know him. She didn’t care. Edward was gone and she couldn’t move even if she wanted too. She no longer had a reason to exist. Nothing mattered anymore. Not her mother, not Phil, not even Charlie. The man must have read something in her expression because he smiled bitterly.
“So, you are choosing to fade? I should have known. I have been looking for a way to fade away for centuries. It shouldn’t surprise me that my incarnation would desire to fade too…” Surprise flashed through Bella’s gaze, before her eyes deadened again. “Yes, I am you and you are me. You are my soul Bella. I have desired death for the last millennia, all my attempts have proved fruitless. Alas, I am immortal. Though I discovered that I can reincarnate to start anew. Putting my main consciousness to sleep, I have passed many life times this way. Most times I never wake until my incarnation’s death. But you have awakened me early it seems.” Bella could not believe what she was hearing. Nor could she find the strength to care. The man’s eyes saddened.
“So you truly wish to fade. Over a love that had barely even begun to blossom…” He didn’t need to say anymore, he already read her answer in her gaze. “Very well, know this. I am you and you are me. We are the same, you and I. Once you do this, you will cease to exist.” There is no reason too without him…Bella thought. The man closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. His voice was rough with emotion as he choked out his agreement. “Then fade.” Opening his eyes, he pierced Bella with twin beams of blazing jade.
Motes of golden light began to break away from Bella’s broken body, the man absorbing the light unto himself. A smile stretched across her face as tears pooled in the man’s eyes. “One last thing… my name long ago was Harry Potter…. Good bye, Bella Swan.” Bella’s brown eyes shut for the final time as her body exploded into a shower of golden dust that swirled around Harry. Magical wind whipping round his body as the shimmer of light particles merged with his magic. Crashing waves burst into cascades of water that fell around him. Gold mixed with aqua blue as he felt wave after wave slammed against his body. He screamed, the sound drowned out by the torrent of water that punished him. Wrapping his magic around himself, he tore himself from his counterparts dying mindscape. His world ruptured to gold.
Suddenly, it stopped. His vision was dark. The air was cool against his fevered skin. Water pattered lightly against him as thunder rumbled in the distance. Peeling his eyes open, he saw that he was in a forest. He had escaped the gold flooded dying mindscape of his counterpart. He smelled forest decay, burnt wood and charred flesh near. He couldn’t move. His body ached, a bone deep pulse of pain that arched across his mind like a heartbeat. His body felt sticky and stiff. He felt different. There were two weights on his chest that did not belong. Glancing down towards his chest, only a flickering of his eyes, since he couldn’t move his neck, was a task. When he finally succeeded, he cursed up a storm in his mind. It would seem, that instead of reverting back to his original body when he absorbed his counterpart, he kept hers.
Suddenly, his bodily inquiry was interrupted by a sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animal sound. It sounded big. He wondered if he should feel afraid. He didn't - just numb with pain and annoyed. It didn't matter, it wasn’t like it could kill him anyway. Though, maybe it did. He could still suffer pain and he was in no hurry to discover if being eaten by an animal would kill him. The snuffling went away.
The rain continued, and he could feel the water pooling up against his cheek. He was trying to gather the strength to turn his head when he saw light.
At first it was just a dim glow reflecting off the bushes in the distance. It grew brighter and brighter, illuminating a large space unlike the focused beam of a flashlight. The light broke through the closest brush, and he could see that it was a propane lantern, but that was all he could see - the brightness blinded his sensitive eyes. He could feel his consciousness fading. The pain becoming too much, he didn’t not want to be awake anyway. He had no desire to go on. He stopped wanting to live ages ago. So when darkness started to cloud his mind, he welcomed it and fell into oblivion once more. The frantic screams for paramedics following him into the abyss.