“Come with me, James.” It took everything in him to not let the self-doubt show in his voice, he couldn’t afford to show weakness, not this time, because, if the man in front of him perceived an ounce of doubt, he would eventually find a way to make Regulus back down.
He could not stay.
Not this time. Not after what happened.
The atmosphere was heavy, the smell of his own blood was diluted in the stink of the blood of the bodies that surrounded him, he felt no regret about it, the non-mutants attacked first, they knew the power that Regulus carried in his DNA and felt so threatened about it that they foolishly thought they could kill him, but not only him, they thought they could take Sirius too, they almost did, until Regulus realized that no promise, no sense of morality was more important than his brother’s life.
James had that look on his face, one that had never been aimed directly at him, betrayal. Regulus couldn’t help but think that James didn’t have the right to judge him that way, all this time he had known that the youngest of the brothers was never that committed to his idealistic values of equality and preservation of the human race, he just turned a blind eye on Regulus believes so he could love him without guilt, maybe with hope but now that hope was scattered on the ground next to the unconscious figures of defeated men.
Regulus was still waiting for an answer... He was patient, arduously trying to not let the fact that James was taking his time to answer under his skin. He was allowed to doubt. After all, Regulus was just asking for everything and a little more.
And for the first time in his life…James didn’t look him in the eyes when he spoke.
“You know I can do that, Reg.” And he knew, deep down, he had always known. Still, he was holding onto the hope that maybe he was enough of a reason to cause a change of mind on James.
And, if he wasn’t enough, maybe the injuries on Sirius’s face could bring him some sense, but James’s moral compass was as stubborn as his heart.
Regulus felt sick, despite that, he also felt a sense of freedom that was long forgotten.
From the very beginning Regulus knew that James Potter was built different, not only because of his mutant nature but also because of his human one, the kindness behind his golden eyes was something that Regulus both craved and hated, maybe if James was least kind he would understand the reasons behind Regulus actions. The actions that had led him there, the actions that had made him a murderer.
They were always doomed to end up this way, confronted, standing on different sides, hoping for one more chance to make things different.
Regulus and Sirius were always seen as a threat, even for their own family who didn’t hesitate in handing them to the Sentinel programme the first time their powers showed. They were lucky enough to escape, even more lucky enough to end up with the Potter’s and their household full of mutants in need of help.
Still, Regulus wasn’t able to forget even less forgive all the things that non-mutants put them through: the experiments, being alienated from his brother, the losses he suffered seeing fellow mutants die in the hands of men who were not as half powerful as them. The hatred he carried against them humans was something rooted deep in his mind and soul.
James was the only thing holding him back, the only thing that could convince him of anything with a single glance, and now he was free from that. He had finally taken a step back, the one step he swore to never give. Regulus knew from the very beginning that James was lying, he just didn’t know it back then, but every single promise ever swore to the youngest of the Black family was a lie in disguise.
“I won’t beg, James.” Regulus said, and somehow that felt like a plea.
James stood there, close enough to hurt him if he wanted to, his hands stiff, his eyes glowing with that gold-ish sparkle that his mutation manifested. Even with that unnatural shine on them, Regulus could perceive the kindness in his gaze. James was powerful, probably one of the most powerful mutants he knew, his abilities could make Regulus bend down and surrender, more now than ever that Sirius was not there by his side to intensify his powers but they both knew that James wasn’t capable of hurting him, at least not physically.
“I wouldn’t expect you to, love,” James said with a sad smile on his face, his eyes slowly returning to its natural color. “Would it make a difference if I asked you to stay?”
“I know you. There’s no amount of love that can make you forgive me for what I just did.” He replied and his voice cracked like ice under pressure. “And even if there is, they won’t forgive me.”
Regulus glanced at the rest of the team: Lily was still trying to heal Sirius’s wounds while Remus looked straight at him, a broken look full of anger on his face.
James took a step forward. He was getting closer and closer and when one of his hands grazed his own, Regulus felt completely defenseless. His chest was tight with an asphyxiating sensation, one that he had only felt as a young teenager who didn’t know how to manage his own powers.
“We could’ve brought peace to them, helped them, taken them out of those horrible places where they put me and Sirius. You and me, James, we could’ve made a difference in the lives of people like us.” Regulus said, trying to not look at James’ eyes.
“Not like this, Regulus, this is not helping and I hope one day you can figure that out, when you do, you know where to find me… meanwhile, I need to take care of them in a way that won’t hurt the others.” James looked at the verge of tears, holding them back in front of the man that used to be a shoulder to cry upon.
“You are so naive.” His words were meant to be mean, but no matter how hard he tried, they were always soft when he was talking to James.
His skin felt the gentle touch of James’s fingers, his eyes closed for a few seconds, letting his mind wander back to all those times James touched him with the same affection, but this time his fingers were pulled apart from his skin too soon, Regulus opened his eyes, and instead of the smile he was used to, he found an image that would be forever on his mind: James was not looking at him anymore, instead he was shockingly looking at his own fingers - the ones that seconds ago were holding Regulus.- stained with the blood of the men he was so obsessed with protecting.
“This is goodbye, then.” Regulus said, and this time the words were dry and emotionless.
“I’ll always leave a door open for you, love,” James Said. “For when you change your mind.”
“I won’t.” He glanced at Sirius. He was unconscious. There would be no goodbye for them, no redemption, no last words between the brothers. He knew Sirius would be better off with James, taking him would only be an act of selfishness. “Take care of him.”
Before James had a chance to answer, Regulus disappeared into the shambles that were left of what once was a stadium.
He did not look back.
Even if he was leaving everything he ever loved behind.