Remus likes being alone.
He’s always been alone. It's nothing new to him. That changes when someone is moving in opposite of him. The window opposite of his room. He doesn’t even notice it at first. There were just small changes, like a new lamp on the ceiling or a dead plant on the windowsill. Really not big things to notice.
After the small changes it takes some time before anything else happens. A door gets shut loudly. Remus almost drops his lemon tea. He puts it aside and looks up from his book. What is going on there? He wonders.
The next moment the window opens and a man leans outside. He’s got long black hair and tattoos. Remus tries to recognize them. A dragon fyling up his right arm and a star constellation on his left shoulder. Maybe there are more he can't see now. His fingers are playing with a cigarette.
“You know you’re not allowed to smoke here?”
Remus doesn’t remember that he walked up to the window and opened it too. Usually he doesn’t talk with people unknown to him. Usually he doesn’t speak with people at all.
“Sorry what did you said?”
The stranger is looking at him. He’s got some really grey eyes. Remus blinks for a second. Shit he is pretty. Very pretty.
"You can't smoke here"
"Who said that?"
"The owner of the house"
The man looks at Remus and then looks back at his cigarette. His lips are forming into a smile. Then he nods knowingly. "Sure if you say so, but firstly stop flirting with me." He winks.
What? Flirting? What does he mean? Remus didn't indent to do something like that. His brain was mess. "I'm sorry. I didn't flirted with you. Or it was just not what I meant. Sorry I-"
The smile vanishes. "Stop saying sorry. You really don't have to apologize, I actually really liked it."
The smile is back, a little softer than before.
Now there is a hand offered to him. Remus looks at it and he knows he can't reach it but he'll try anyway. He doesn't hesitate and tries to grab the offered hand.
"I'm Sirius by the way. Sirius Black."
"Oh I'm Lemus Rupin. No. Ehm that's not my name. My name is Remus Lupin."
He's going bright red. This went straight into the wrong direction. Really into the wrong direction. But he can't stop running.
"It's okay Lemus" Sirius says with a laugh.
He's making fun of him. Remus actually likes it? What's happening? He can't handle that. He shuts the window close. Why did he do that? He sees Sirius confused face on the other side. Now he is also closing the curtains. Why is he doing that. No. He doesn't want that. He likes Sirius. Does he? He goes to his bed, not sure what to do. Why is he reacting like that? He doesn't even know Sirius. He's just a stranger.
Five minutes later there is a know on his window. He tries to ignore it. Wait. A knock on his window? That's not possible. He is living on the third floor.
And once again he's standing at his window. The curtains in his hands. There is the knock again. He opens it and Sirius is looking at him. The window basically opens itself.
Sirius stops his knocking experience and just stares at Remus. "Hey I'm sorry I didn't meant to be rude or anything. I just thing you're really cool, Remus Lupin." Sirius said his name like had a huge meaning to him. His heart skipped a beat. Sirius is just so nice. Is he. Remus confusion is not helping.
He has to concentrate. Concentrate on the conversation he has right now. But Sirius wasn't rude. He was just joking around, was he? Remus wasn't sure about his own thoughts. Normally he understand his own thoughts, but apparently not anymore.
"Why did you knocked on my window?" He asks quietly.
"Don't you wanna know how I knocked? Because look I build this cool construction-"
"No. I just want to know why you wanted to talk to me. Nobody talks to me without wanting something from me. Never, not even my so called friends."
What did he just said? It is true, yes. But why did he told Sirius? That's to much. No he can't tell him his thoughts. He just can't. Sirius is a stranger, he can't trust him. His hands are on the way closing the window the second time now.
"Don't you dare close this window. Please. Don't leave me again, I hate being alone." Sirius says to stop Remus. He stops. He loves being alone, so why should he be the reason someone else isn't alone? Why would anyone even want to be alone with him?
"I actually love being alone."
"You do?"
"Yes"
"Oh, then I'll leave you now"
He doesn't want Sirius to leave. Sirius should never leave again. What happened to him. How did his whole personality changed in minutes? It's Sirius fault. Its not his fault, it's just feeling really really good.
"Don't leave."
"But you just said-"
"I know, I'm confused myself."
There is silence. None of the boys saying anything. Remus feels Sirius starring at him. He doesn't know it was possible to feel that. To feel anything he felt the last few seconds.
"Why do you stare at me?"
He is so direct. This could end up really bad. This will end up really bad. Remus just knows it.
"This is the moment where I should kiss you."
What? Remus brain just stopped working. Just no more activities. Kissing? Sirius should kiss him. What is happening? Is that some sort of wierd staged moments? Where are the cameras?
"Sorry I shouldn't have said that. I just- You're so damn pretty. You look as pretty as the moon. I could stare at you forever."
That's to much. Now Remus brain definitely said good bye.
"Ouch"
"What?"
"You just threw fucking apple at me"
He did what.
Yes he did. But does a apple hurt that much.
"You're so dramatic" Remus says with a small laugh.
"I think you just killed me"
"Killed you?"
"Yes. Your laugh is the last thing I needed in my life to die happily."
Remus smiles. What is that now. Remus smiles. He doesn't smile. Ok he does, but just about some romantic shit that happens in books. Not about Sirius. Who even is that? He only know his name and that his smile is so pretty and his voice makes his knees go weak and his hair looks so fluffy and- What?
Did he just fell for a stranger? Yes, he thinks so. But he can't. He can't even leave his house. How could he be in love or even be in a relationship? How could anyone even want to have a relationship with him. He is not loveable. He is. He is wierd. He is a freak. His illness makes him wierd. It's not normal. Which normal person just stays inside and never even leaves their room?
"Please don't cry, I can't comfort you"
That's Sirius.
Yeah right.
He can't cry.
There is someone.
"This shit is overwhelming me. I just want to hug you. I guess. Because you're so nice."
Now he notices the strong urge to climb over to Sirius and just be in his arms. He can't. He fucking can't. Even if Sirius would wan't too. Which he of course don't. Because who would like to hug Remus? No-one.
"I'm coming over. Yes, I know you for just a couple of minutes, but I can't see you like that."
He is already turning away, when Remus stops him.
"You can't. You can't come over. It's not possible."
"What? Why? I want to."
"I don't know why I'm telling you, but I have this illness where I'll die if I have contact with other humans. The bacteria and all. You know?"
"But- I don't want you to be sad. I wanna comfort you."
"Yes, but like you said you can't"
Sirius shakes his head.
"Please, Remus. I don't know you, but I know that I like you. That I really really like you. I wanna help you. Is there anything I could do?"
"Yes. You can just stay with me. Talk to me."
Remus doesn't know how he wrapped his head around that.
"But you said you don't like that, that you're rather alone."
"I know. I probably changed my mind. Somehow."