December 17th 1981
The phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Remus”
“Oh! Hi, Mary.”
“Do you have time to chat?”
“Yeah definitely… I mean it’s not like I have anything else going on these days.”
A quiet chuckle from the other end of the phone.
“It’s basically the same for me.”
“Well at least you have Emmeline, right?”
“Not exactly…”
“Oh.”
“She—“
“What—”
“Sorry. Go ahead.”
“It’s fine. She’s visiting her brother in America.”
“When will she be back?”
“I don’t know… I don’t think she’ll want to see me when she gets back anyways.”
“Why not?”
“Oh enough about me, Remus!”
A brief silence.
“ Um. How have you been managing then, Rem?”
“I wouldn’t call it ‘managing’ to be honest.”
“I know this has been hard for all of us but it’s been even worse for you. I mean I never would’ve thought Siri—“
“For fucks sake, Mary!”
Another silence.
“I’m sorry.”
“We both know what happened.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“I deserved it.”
“No. You didn’t”
“Um well maybe we should get lunch together sometime.“
“Maybe.”
“I really think you need to get out of your flat.”
“I do get out of my flat!”
“When?”
“I-“
“And don’t say when you’re getting groceries. That doesn’t count.”
“Uh…”
“Ok how about this… Do you have any plans on the 25th?”
“Christmas?”
“Yes”
“No but–”
“That’s perfect because I don’t either!”
“Listen, Mary, I don’t know if I really want to–”
“You can pop over to my flat and I can probably manage to make a decent enough meal!”
“Mary–”
“Oh it’ll be just like old times!! We can even invite some other people!! Like um… The Weasleys…?”
“I’m really sorry but–”
“Ooh!! I think Amelia Bones is in town! I haven’t talked to her in a bit but I’m sure she’ll–”
“MARY”
“Oh um… I'm sorry, what were you saying?”
“I don’t know how to soften this so I’m just going to say it. I don’t want to spend Christmas with anyone this year.”
“Oh.”
“I just want to stay by myself, surely you understand…”
“I do. I’m sorry.”
“But we can still get lunch sometime!”
“Um.”
“Just not Christmas.”
“Right.”
“Right…”
“I’m going to go now. Sorry for bothering you. I love you.”
“What? Mary–”
Nothing.
January 12th 1982
The phone rings
(for the third time today).
“Hello?”
“MARY!? Oh my god you finally picked up! I was so worried… You haven’t been answering my calls!”
“...Remus?”
“Yes? Wait, is this Mary?”
“Remus, It’s Emmeline.”
“You’re back from your trip!”
“Yes”
“So?”
“What?”
“Where’s Mary?”
“Remus…”
The shakiness of her voice scares him.
“Don’t tell me–”
“She’s not dead–”
“Ok well where is she then?!”
“I don’t know but can you please let me talk for a second?”
“Yes. Sorry.”
“Um. Mary… well… she… my understanding of it is that she doesn’t remember… anything.”
“What?”
“I don’t really know but she wrote me a letter and when I got home from America she was gone and it was on the table and uh…”
It sounds like she’s crying. He thinks he might cry too.
“What did the letter say.”
“She said… she said she was done.”
“Done?”
“With everything. She said she planned on obliviating herself, she couldn’t take it anymore, and she said not to look for her.”
Silence.
“She mentioned you.”
“What did she say!?”
“Just… that she loves you. She wanted me to tell you.”
“When did you get back from America?”
“I– I don’t know… a week into January maybe.”
“So you’ve been home for almost two weeks.”
“I guess.”
“When were you going to call?”
“What?”
“When.”
“Remus–”
“When were you going to tell me?”
“Listen, Remus, I haven’t fully processed it yet…”
“You still should’ve called.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Silence.
“Remus?”
Nothing.
September 1st 1993
Mary dreams often.
She dreams so often.
She dreams of a girl with fiery red hair and a personality to match.
She dreams about a girl with blonde hair and a body littered with tattoos.
Her heart aches when she wakes up
She dreams of a boy with grey eyes and long jet black hair.
She dreams of a boy with big glasses and the biggest heart.
She dreams of a smart boy whose skin is covered in scars.
There are tears on her face when she wakes up.
She dreams of a sensitive blonde boy who always has something nice to say. He seems to always be in the background.
She feels sick when she wakes up and she can’t figure out why.
She dreams of a beautiful girl with the prettiest smile.
Those dreams make her wish she could dream forever.
Mary always wakes up.
Mary likes to go to King’s Cross Station. She’s been doing it for as long as she can remember. It brings her comfort for a reason unknown to her.
Today there’s someone sitting next to her on the bench. She’s seen him around here recently. He looks tired today. Mary feels tired too.
She smiles at him and he smiles back. He’s carrying a trunk with him today. There’s a name written on it.
R.J. LUPIN
She feels lightheaded.
Her migraines have been getting worse lately.
The man abruptly stands up. Then immediately sits back down.
“Are you alright?” she asks.
He gives her an indecipherable look before nodding.
“My train should be arriving soon. I don’t want to get on yet.”
“Oh? Where are you headed?”
“I’ve got a new job.”
“Sounds fun.”
He nods absentmindedly.
Mary’s suddenly overcome with the worst melancholy she’s had in years. It’s illogical but the strongest emotions usually are. The man looks at her with concern and she knows it’s visible on her face.
Her migraine worsens with an encroaching sense of deja vu.
“Do I know you?” Mary blurts out before she knows what she’s doing. He doesn’t look surprised at her question.
“No… I don’t reckon you do.” He smiles sadly.
“Oh.”
“Do I seem familiar?”
“It feels like I’ve known you my entire life.”
Her hand flies to her mouth. “That sounds so bad—-I’m so sorry!! I swear I wasn’t trying to flirt or anything!”
“It’s fine. I know what you meant.” He seems amused.
They sit in silence for a couple minutes before the man checks his watch.
“I’ve got to go now,” he says, standing up.
“Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Mary.” He gives her a small smile before walking off.
She doesn’t dream at all that night.