Fifth Note
He sat in his private hiding area, one that no one except him knew existed. He had a quill and a piece of parchment in hand, and his wand sat in his lap, ready to be used should he make a mistake. A bottle of ink lay on a bench next to him, ready to be used as well. He needed to do this perfectly. He needed to get them to back off without revealing his identity, which meant he couldn't use any words or phrases he would usually use. And that was what made this trickier than most tasks. Still, he needed to do this for their sake, and so he would do it.
Don't try to find out who I am. I know you and I know you would, as I know you would try and help me if you do. So don't. I don't deserve your help, not after what I've done. These notes are my confession to you, not an invitation to play detective. If you don't do as I ask, I will stop writing them, even if it means I have to suffer in silence.
He briefly considered signing this note, but decided against it. The whole point was to stay incognito, and signing the notes would defeat the purpose of that. After he was finished, he went back to the dorm. He knew that the others were at Quidditch practice, either as a participant or as a spectator, which meant there was no risk of them barging in here. Slowly, he pulls out his blade and begins cutting. This time, however, he washes the blade in the sink before healing his injuries. He couldn't risk the others seeing the blood, or the cuts. That would raise too many questions, ones that he couldn't answer without revealing himself as the note writer. It was Snape's turn this time, anyway, so he stashes this note and the blade in his drawer, which he locks with magical signature keyed to his wand, ensuring that none of his dormmates would be able to open it.
-x-
The first class on the next day is Defense Against the Dark Arts. The current professor is someone everyone likes. The Marauders take their usual seats, with James and Sirius being in front, Remus in the middle and Peter in the back. For once, all four are paying attention. Of course, the fact that they like this Professor might have something to do with the change in attitude. Well, except in Remus' case. Remus was always the one who paid attention in every class. The studious one. James and Sirius were the funny ones, while Peter was somewhere in between. The class was eventually over. James and Sirius were the first to rush out, followed by Remus, and then Peter.
-x-
Today, he was even slower than he usually was. He felt light-headed, and he suspected that he lost too much blood due to cuttings. This theory was confirmed as he felt the room begin to sway and spin around him, and then he fell on the floor as his vision went black. Fortunately, the last thing he saw was that none of them were nearby. The last thing he wanted was for them to notice.
He woke up in hospital wing, to the sight of Madam Pomfrey. She forced a blood-replenishing potion down his throat, ignoring his protests, while muttering about irresponsible students. If only she knew the truth, she wouldn't have been so flippant. Then again, she didn't. Nobody did. And nobody would. He was going to die after graduation, and that was that.
And he would make sure that nobody interferes until it was too late to do so.
He grabs a book at random and begins to sift through it. He had time after graduation, and he planned to enjoy his schoolyears as much as he could. It was why he set the curse to kill him after graduation. To kill him before he could truly turn against them. They would understand, he knew. And they would agree with him that it was for the best.
He ignores the little voice in his head telling him otherwise. Doubts had no place in his head or in his heart. Doubts destroyed their lives before, and he would not allow for that to happen a second time. Even if it meant he had to destroy himself instead.