September 9th, 1970
sirius and I were playing inside his bedroom at the manor,
our parents were in the drawing room.
kreature came out and took out a dead women
i asked sirius why she wasn't moving or blinking
They hadn't closed her eyes.
She must have died in pain.
we could hear her family in the other room
They were all crying and screaming
One woman screamed so hysterically
that sirius made a face.
he told me that her soul went to heaven
I didn't believe a word of it
But I knew it' was easier for him to say.
two days from now mother will crucio sirius for the first time
he will tell me that there is no God, and all of this is meaningless.
But today, there is a God, and He has a plan for me.
sirius doesn't know it, but a year from now, he will be sorted into grifyndoor, and nothing will ever be the same again.
but as we sit in his room playing quietly, the sun will go down.
he will ask me what i want to do with my life, if i think my parents path is the only one.
I tell him, "I don't know"
“On and on we run away
From the things we are afraid of
On and on we run away
From the things we are afraid of
On and on we run away
From the things we are afraid”
I don't tell him about the dream I had the night before
Where i’m surrounded by these odd creatures and screaming in pain.
having visions of people i do not know,
i’ll lean forward to scoop some water and i’ll be pulled into the vast lake before me,
drowning as the creatures claw me
my body will be torn to shreds and
i will drown in excruciating pain with nothing but my brothers name on my lips.
I will have this dream periodically until I meet all of the strangers one by one
Introducing them all to each other until we are a close group of friends
i will join the deatheaters like mother insists.
I will set these events in motion and I will die
But today in the warm light of the sunset
I don't see it, I just see the sunset
I smile back with sirius and shake my head
I have absolutely no idea
I am afraid