part I
2013, Potter Residence
"It's not quite right", he tells Sirius, who sighs in response and tears out the page, but James can tell he's not really annoyed. They've been writing for hours, trying to come up with the right lyrics for the melody they'd written the night before; they're both better at writing the music than they are at lyrics, and most times Sirius seems content with letting him take over, having only some input on what they make their songs about. There's a part of James that understands why, it's unlikely their songs will be played anywhere other than their bedroom (or the living room, when they feel bold enough to show his parents their creations), but mostly, even if they never see the light of day, James wants the songs to be special, wants them to be different.
Sirius plays the melody softly, to not wake his parents. "Do you have any other lyrics in mind?", he asks. The answer to that question is yes, it's always yes, but none of them seem good enough to say out-loud. Still, it's Sirius, so he just shoots out his favourite idea, which makes Sirius smile. "That seems good", the other boy says, writing it down.
"I don't want it to be good, I want it to be great". James tells him.
"It is great," Sirius reassures him, but he doesn't get it. It doesn't just have to sound good and rhyme, it has to matter, it has to be unlike anything ever done before. James doesn't know if he's a good enough writer to make that happen, but he certainly wants to try, and try until he has nothing left to give.
"We can do better", he says with a smile. Sirius rips the page again, and they start over.
Article: Who Even Are The Marauders? uploaded January 2015
Who Even Are The Marauders?
All we know about the British teen music duo that took the world by storm seemingly overnight.
James Potter and Sirius Black began their music career in 2013 (at 14 and 15, respectively) when they released their first ever original song on Youtube, titled: ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor ’, the video gained attention from some online groups, and slowly, the duo built a small but dedicated following. During the next few months, the group continued to post online, and despite mainly uploading covers of other bands and musicians they continued to grow in popularity. But everything changed when they released a cover of ‘Rebel, Rebel’ by David Bowie, less than a week later the views had reached over 500k (it now has reached 16M views) and the boys were receiving attention a boy their age could only dream to have.
Only a couple of months later, the boys were signed to Warlock Records, owned by Albus Dumbledore who has signed other big names in the industry, and they began working on their first EP, titled: ‘Who Even Are The Marauders?’, which was released last year in May. The public received this record with open arms, and it gathered astoundingly good reviews for a debut, as well as being nominated for the Mercury Prize. Their song: ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor’, topped U. K. charts, and their record sold over 300, 000 copies in America.
Yesterday night, the boys announced several UK concerts, and teased a North American concert announcement. As of today, some shows have already sold out, and the others are rapidly selling out. You can get tickets now here!
Only the future can tell what’s in store for the young talent of The Marauders, but things seem to be heading in the right direction for the boys.
Extract from: 'The Marauders' Share Their Truth in Tell-All Interview. Released on December 2023
James: ...it's been a while since we've done this
Sirius: Almost exactly three years
Interviewer: That's right! You guys disappeared for three years, no interviews, no new music until recently, and no social media posts. So, if I can ask, what happened?
Sirius: Well, a lot of things
James: I think we just realized we really needed a break, for both of our sakes. We had been working under the public eye for six years, without any breaks
Sirius: We were sixteen when we released our first record! Actually, I was sixteen, James was fifteen; we had no business having that kind of attention, we had no reason to be working that hard.
Interviewer: And work hard you did...since the start of your career, you released almost every record with only one year apart, sometimes less, except for the gap between the third and fourth.
James: Yeah…we worked a lot, probably a lot more than we should’ve. As soon as we finished writing one record, we moved onto the next one, and then after we released it we had to rehearse for touring. And it was just non-stop, to the point where any time we had to…not work, we just didn’t want to spend it with each other, because that was too much like working
Sirius: There was also the pressure from [covers hand with mouth, pressing down on it and making the words come out muffled] ‘Warlock Records’
James: [laughs]
Sirius: [normal] …to never stop releasing, like we had a year, and if we took longer than that to release any new music, we were told we would lose the contract. It didn't end up happening after Lucky Number Three, because reasons, but there was still huge pressure to get it out as soon as possible.
James: It almost felt like, if we were together and not writing we were wasting our time. That’s what they made it feel like, and it was really awful because I wanted to spend time with my best friend, but I didn’t want to be constantly working. I was tired…We did three records in three years–
Sirius: Plus touring
James: Plus touring! That was exhausting. I’m glad we got the support we did, but it was…
Sirius: Exhausting
James: Right! People were constantly praising us for how fast we put out things, but–and this is completely not their fault, they had no way of knowing– it was all coming from our label, saying we needed to get as many things out while we were still relevant. That’s not a nice thing to say to teenage boys.
Sirius: I can say this now, because we are no longer under their thumb. I never fucking trusted the owner of our label, I won't say his name, but we all know; I trusted James, and James trusted him so I went with it, but I feel like he just put a lot more pressure on James than he did me, because he knew I didn't trust him, and wouldn't do what he told me to, and I felt like James just did everything he said. [squeezes James' arm briefly before continuing] This is obviously not James' fault, and I know that, but for a while I really did resent him for it, and, we've talked about this before, he, for different reasons, kind of resented me
James: Yeah, I...felt like he did less than me. Which was insane, and I definitely couldn't have done anything without him, but Alb-our record executive-
Sirius: [laughs] Very smooth recovery, Prongs
James: Shut up. Our record executive would feed me ideas, kind of put the weight of whether we succeeded or failed on me. At the time, he made it seem like it was because Sirius did less for the group, which was only true because he made me do more. I realize now it was stupid to blame it on Sirius, but back then it just made me build up this anger towards him.
Sirius: It wasn't stupid, you were being manipulated
James: Let's not get into it
January 14th, 2017
Albus is angry, and James can tell. His hands were on his shoulders, and he was wearing a smile on his face, but he can feel the tight grip on his shoulders, can see the underlying tension in his smile. "...You're basically adults. You're going to need to start working twice as hard", Albus tells him. He kind of feels like he can't breathe, but he nods along, like he agrees. It's the best thing to do when it comes to Albus.
"I just turned eighteen." Sirius complains, "And James' birthday isn't for a couple of months." James, to be honest, had kind of forgotten he was in the room with them. When Albus talks about their work, it feels like he's only talking to him. Acting like all the responsibilities fall on him; maybe if Sirius stopped pushing back whenever Albus tells them to do anything, the older man would go easier on him. Albus’ gaze turns to Sirius, and while his hands are still on his shoulders, he feels the grip loosen. James takes a deep breath.
"You are still very young", Albus agrees, "But that doesn't mean you don't have responsibilities", his gaze falls back on James on the last sentence, he feels the icy blue eyes pierce right through him. The older man's hands stop resting on his shoulders, something he is more than grateful for, but his eyes remain on him. "People are expecting a record this year, you have fans, people willing to buy our records, our merchandise, and go to the concerts. Don't let that go away."
Albus walks out the room, leaving no room for argument.
The second he's out of the room, Sirius scoffs. "How much do you want to bet that old man has never written a song in his life?" he asks, a forced smile on his face.
James laughs, and hopes his friend can't tell how fake it is. "I'll show you some of the stuff I have, come on."
Sirius rolls his eyes, but follows him to the other room.
May 12th, 2017
James had passed out when they were rehearsing for the tour.
It was very sudden, one minute James had asked for a break, because he was out of breath, and then the next he was just collapsed on the floor.
Now, he was asleep on a hospital bed, with an IV hooked to his arm. Dehydration, a doctor whose name he can’t recall had told them, and he’s probably been stretching himself too thin. And they were keeping him overnight for monitoring. It was just him and Albus on the room. James had begged him not to tell his parents. ‘I don’t want them to worry’, he had said when they were riding to the hospital.
( Maybe , Sirius thinks, they should worry. Maybe there is something to be worried about )
“We are postponing the rest of the tour”, Sirius says, eyes not leaving James’ unconscious body even once.
“I understand emotions are running high right now, but–”, Albus started to say, but Sirius interrupts.
“We are postponing it, and you are extending the deadline for the fourth album.”
“Let’s talk about this when James wakes up.” Albus says. Sirius can’t let that happen, he knows James will agree with whatever Albus tells them.
“No, when he wakes up you’ll tell him we’re postponing the rest of the tour and extending the fourth album deadline.” Sirius says, “Or we’ll walk.”
“I hardly think James would–”
“I’ll convince him. You know me, Albus, I’ll find a way. And I know you can’t afford to let us go, we’re your most successful clients.”
The older man’s eyes turn sharp, but he smiles. It makes Sirius feel uneasy, but he refuses to let it show. “Alright, I’ll sort it out.”
“Thank you.” he says, feeling anything but thankful.
He ignores how much his heart is racing, and his palms are sweating as Albus walks away. He ignores the way his breath seems to catch in his throat, and the memories that threaten to overtake his mind. James has done so much for him, the least he can do for him is this.
Extract from: 'The Marauders' Share Their Truth in Tell-All Interview. Released on December 2023
James: So…not to bring any names into it, but let’s say I went through a breakup in 2018 and wrote a song about it…And let’s say, people took some stuff out of context, and just ran with it and started attacking my ex
Sirius: God, that was awful
James: People were sending her awful stuff! She got death threats! I swear, the way some people reacted, you’d think they were the ones that got broken up with
Sirius: Parasocial relationships man…you are all nuts
James: But that was actually…disgusting. I hope everyone that partook in that feels very ashamed of themselves.
Twitter, 2019
James Potter @jprongsp ✓
I refuse to participate in the narrative that is being painted about Lily and I's former relationship. Everyone that is attacking her on my behalf knows nothing about our lives, Lily Evans is a friend and will always be.
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James Potter @jprongsp ✓
Our relationship going public happened to coincide with her start in the music industry. Lily and her band have been close friends of mine for over a decade, I would have endorsed their music regardless of my relationship w Lily
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James Potter @jprongsp ✓
The narrative that is being painted about Lily using me to promote her music is not only fully incorrect, but it also discredits all the talent and hard work of The Valkyries
em! @naturalbluu
lmao does anyone else feel like james tweets REEK of "my management made me write this"
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sara @luckynsara
FR!! like this is not the same man that wrote never bloom again lmao
#1 entertainment apologist @siriusenthusiast
james is such a sweet guy, even if they're not together anymore he is still standing up for her <3
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jules @bubblegumbtchh
his fans are the ones attacking her bc of their breakup, it would be pretty irresponsible if he didn't say anything
October 10th, 2015
“You guys were amazing tonight”, James tells Lily for what he feels like is the hundredth time. They're sitting outside the steps of her house after he'd walked her home, their knees are bumping against each other every now and then. The light inside is turned on, indicating her parents are probably waiting for her in the living room, but neither of them have said goodbye yet.
It was his first time seeing the girls perform. He knew they were in a band, he’d heard some of their songs before, but he’d never seen them quite like this. They had been incredible, the entire bar had loved them. Mary, Marlene, and Lily just had this presence about them, he had been mesmerized by them the entire night.
”You’ve said”, Lily tells him with a teasing smile. She's wearing a shimmery eye shadow, and her lips are painted with a dark red shade, almost black. It makes her look older, James really wants to kiss her.
”I’m serious,” he tells her. He sees Lily’s green eyes sparkle up with mischief, can see her forming the words for the joke on her lips. He laughs, but still, “Don’t say it…”
Lily shrugs with a false innocent smile, “I don’t know what you are talking about”. They both laugh for a moment, and when it dies down they sort of just stare into each other's eyes. James refuses to look away first, because of principle, but then Lily makes a funny face that just makes him crack up again, and they laugh together until ily shushes him. "My parents will come out if we make too much noise."
“Okay…but actually, you guys killed it. You might even be better than us.” He’s joking, and he knows Lily can tell by the way she smirks. His eyes drift to her mouth again, he doesn't mean to stare, but the red tint makes them stand out more than they usually do. He's never kissed anyone while they were wearing lipstick, he wonders what it feels like.
”Well, duh.” she says, and for a moment it looks like that’s the end of her sentenced but then she sucks in her bottom lip briefly, getting a bit of the colour on her teeth. It should be off-putting, but he can't help but find it endearing. She continues, “That really means a lot coming from you, thank you, James.” There’s no teasing in her tone, no mischief in her eyes, just sheer sincerity. It’s beautiful.
He really wants to kiss her. But then,
then she kisses him.
Youtube video titled: ‘The Marauders’ accept VMA. Uploaded October 2016
Host: And the award goes to…The Marauders
[Sirius jumps up from his seat, and then the camera pans to James, who is sitting next to Sirius’ empty seat, with a shocked expression. Sirius pats his shoulder and helps him up. They walk up to stage together]
James: Holy shit! I am not being humble when I say I didn’t think we were going to win…I don’t know what to say
Sirius: [shoves James out of the mic slightly] Effie called it!
James: It’s true! My mom kept saying we were going to win but I didn’t think we would. Sorry for doubting you, mom
Sirius: Everyone give it up for Effie Potter!
[cheers come from the audience, and Sirius laughs]
James: I’d also like to thank Albus, for taking a chance on us. And Warlock Records in general, we owe you everything we’ve got
Sirius: [rolls his eyes almost imperceptibly] And thank you Lily! for being all James writes about
James: [laughs bashfully] Right...This is absolutely incredible! Thank you!
[James holds up the award as the crows claps, the video cuts as they return to their seats]
May 15th,2017
James hasn't left his bed in days.
He knows that's objectively not good. Something is wrong, and it is becoming incredibly clear, but he can't bring himself to think about it.
He would like to say it all started when he passed out on rehearsals, but something's been wrong even before that. All the thoughts going through his head had felt scrambled for months now. The last couple of concerts, he had spent the nights before every performance in the bathroom retching into the toilet until he couldn't anymore. Objectively, he knew that wasn't okay, but when he tried to bring it up with Albus the man had dismissed it as simple nerves, and just squeezed his shoulder and told him he would kill it.
So he decided to ignore it. It never occurred to him that he wouldn't be able to ignore it.
And now there was no work. Albus had given them a break. He knows he should be grateful, for once, he's being given something he thought he wanted: A break, but now there's nothing to distract him. Faced with the reality of himself, James isn't really sure what to do.
There's a knock on the door, he ignores it at first, thinking it's his mum again, but then the door peeks open, and Lily Evans is standing in his childhood bedroom. He sits up quickly, immediately regretting it as he feels his vision grow fuzzy.
Lily sits in bed next to him and doesn't say a word, just takes him in her arms until their limbs are tangled up in each other and her head rests on top of his. "You scared me", she whispers into his head. He starts to apologize, but Lily shushes him. "Don't say you're sorry, just take care of yourself. And if you don't feel like taking care of yourself, talk to me or talk to Sirius, or just anyone, really".
"I'm not doing well, Lils", he confesses. It's probably easier because he's not looking at her face. He's not sure he does want to see her face, doesn't want to see the way she is probably looking at him, with pity. "Something is wrong with me."
Lily presses a kiss into his head. It's loving, and short, and he feels unworthy of it. "You want to tell me about it?" she asks. He shakes his head and buries it further into her chest, he inhales deeply, she smells like strawberries.
"I just want to rest."
August 10th, 2018
"I think I want to break up with James," Lily tells Mary.
It had all started on Marlene's birthday party. It had been big, and public, because of course it was; and she hadn't even been able to recognize half the people there, so she stuck by James for most of the night. Her boyfriend seemed content to spend the night with her, so she didn't think anything of it, but she did see him flinch when Peter asked where Sirius was. Had seen the way he had tensed up, and let go of her hand to cross his arms and defensively state that they were separate people, and were allowed to be apart, as the volume of his voice slowly increased, before he stormed out of the room.
She went after him. It probably would have been a good time to try and bring up his friendship with Sirius again, but lately, whenever she did, James got super defensive, and his mood dropped for the entire day. She wanted to have a nice time at her friend's party, so she allowed herself, just this one time, not to play the role of the understanding, supportive girlfriend; she allowed herself to feel a little bit angry at James for losing his temper at a nice party. And then, she snapped at James.
It's not like it was James' fault, not really. But when it comes to him, lately she has been feeling like she has to be gentle and "nurturing", because he obviously hasn't been well, but since he refuses to talk about it all she can do is try to understand. It's not like it's hard to love James, that comes to her as easy as breathing, but it is hard to be the person he needs when she doesn't even know the person she is yet, it is awful to feel like you have to fulfill a role in someone's life for them to need you around. And she got tired of it, she got tired of being "James' girlfriend". And it all just came spilling out of her like wine, and it came out all wrong.
She had immediately regretted it, but James had just squeezed her shoulder and told her he was tired, and he was going to go. He told her to text her when she got home, but not with his usual energy, and she never did, but she hadn't heard from him either.
And now it's been ten days without even a text, and Lily really would like to properly break up with James.
"I thought you were already broken up." Mary says, raising a confused brow.
"Not really," she says, "We haven't talked about it."
"Babes, the last time you talked you told him you were tired of being his girlfriend and now you haven't spoken for over a week," she tells her, "You guys are broken up."
August 13th, 2018
He slams the door open without meaning to, and and takes a deep breath as his back rests against the cold concrete wall. Everything inside had felt like too much. The music, the people, it all made him feel nauseous.
He hadn't seen Lily in weeks, and after wallowing for a couple of days, he had decided to ask Sirius to hang out. It was kind of spur of the moment, one second he had been in bed, crying about Lily, and the next he had just felt the urge to see Sirius again. To be honest, the first thing he had wanted to do when he woke up to no texts from Lily right after the party, was call Sirius, but he knows he doesn't have the right to anymore. He lost it a long time ago, when the first non-work related text went unanswered and when they stopped their weekly calls.
Sirius had been surprised at first, but then told him he was planning on going to a club with Remus, and he was welcome to come. It made him feel awful that the person he once considered his best friend was now surprised he wanted to spend time with him, but he tried not to think too hard about it. He was determined to have a good time even if it killed him.
They had immediately gotten separated, and after a couple of minutes, he desperately needed a smoke; so after locating the nearest door he went straight to it, with a cigarette all ready. He pats his back and front pockets, but there is no sign of a lighter. He sighs, unlit cigarette placed between his lips.
Suddenly, he is hit with something on the shoulder. He looks down and sees a red plastic lighter, the cheap kind you can get at gas station convenience shops. He looks up to see who tossed it, it’s a boy wearing a dark grey wool sweater, standing right next to him. Looking at him now, James doesn’t know how he missed him. He is all high cheekbones, and grey-blue eyes that feel comfortingly familiar.
“Cheers”, he says, bending down to pick it up. When he’s still crouched on the ground, the boy extends his hand, as if asking for the lighter back. Without really understanding why, James gives it back. He’d probably do anything this boy tells him to.
He flicks the lighter on and draws it to light the cigarette in his mouth. James inhales the smoke as he gets up, and a few seconds later, he ends up blowing it all over the boy's face.
Instead of getting angry, grey sweater boy half-smiles, “You know second-hand smoke is just as deadly as smoking”, he says.
James takes another drag and then extends his cigarette to the other boy, praying he takes it.
When he does, James swears he sees the smile adorning his face widen just slightly. “Now we’ll both die”, the other tells him, startling a laugh out of him.
They stand quietly for a while, fingers slightly brushing when they pass the cigarette around, but otherwise not even looking at each other.
Before James knows what he’s saying, his mind is forming the words: “What’s your favorite colour?”. The other boy’s silence following the question makes him feel stupid, until he turns to see him pointing down at his sweater.
James laughs, “I’m pretty sure grey’s not a colour, it’s a shade”.
“You’re disagreeing with me?” the boy asks with a raised eyebrow.
“I wouldn’t dare”.
They stand together until it burns to the butt, and he puts it out against the wall. The other boy nods at him and starts to walk away.
He stops in the doorway, back pressed against the half opened door. He pulls out a marker from his pockets, James watches him scribble something on the lighter.
"What are yo-" he starts to ask, but the boy shushes him, putting one finger up. Obediently, without knowing why, James does stop questioning it, just watches as the boy places the back of the marker in his mouth and puts the cap on, after he's done he tosses him the lighter. This time James is ready, so he catches it between his hands; he examines it, it has ten digits scribbled on it.
"I'll text you," he says, scanning his eyes over the numbers. When he looks up, the other boy is gone, almost like he wasn't ever really there.
James stands there holding the lighter in his hands until Sirius comes out of the door, looking panicked.
"What's wrong?' he asks, as Sirius drags him to the main entrance, but he doesn't respond, he turns around and tells him he's calling Remus. James couldn't even listen in on the phone call if he tried, because the second Remus picks up, Sirius moves out of ear shot. James pulls out his own phone, and types in the numbers written down on the lighter. He saves the contact.
'Funeral Grey', he types into his phone.
September, 2018
They both know it's coming.
They're sat across from each other in their favourite cafe. They haven’t had a proper conversation in more than a month. Hadn't even bothered to speak to each other after the fight. He knows it's wrong, knows Lily was right. She shouldn't have to feel forced to take care of him, no one should, but still, a part of him can't help but feel heartbroken to lose her.
"We are breaking up, right?" he asks Lily.
Lily smiles sadly, "We had a good run". Her voice cracks at the ned of the sentence, and a sick part of James is almost glad she's finding this as hard as he is.
"I love you," he tells her, knowing it won't change anything. If he's being honest, he knows he's not in love with her, he probably hasn't been for a while, but he could look past that and stay with her, because as awful as it sounds, it felt like Lily was the only one that could deal with him. Except now he knows she can't, now he knows she was struggling and he was too selfish to notice it. It would be even more selfish to try and make her stay.
"I love you too."
They spend the rest of the day together, and when they reach her doorstep—the very same doorstep where he's kissed her goodbye many times, the one where they shared their first kiss and their first cigarette, the one where they would talk for hours even before they got together—they just part ways.
As he walks away, he feels his stomach knotting up. This is for the better, and they both know it, but it doesn’t stop the tears from coming.
James’ voice notes
[guitar playing ‘Never Bloom Again’]
Instead of tying our breath in knots again
You’re chopping it down in heavy seconds
Alone is never easy without you
Cause all the girls in our city look like you from a distance
Now I’m starting to think that I’ll never bloom again
Texts between Lily Evans and James Potter. October 15th, 2018
[neverbloomagain.file]
this song’s about you, lmk if it’s okay to release
and if it *is* okay, tell me if you think anything’s too bad, i can change stuff
you have literally never asked before releasing songs about me before
yeah but this is def not a love song, so…
i’ll listen to it, but i doubt you said anything awful
i just kno ppl can be crazy sometjmes, and ik they’ve said shitty stuff to you before just for being with me, i dont want them to be mean to you
lool it’s fine, don’t even worry abt it it’s not your fault
Extract from: 'The Marauders' Share Their Truth in Tell-All Interview. Released on December 2023
James: …also, can I just say? ‘I Felt Younger When We Met’, not about her
Sirius: [sarcastically] Whaaat?
James: It’s about our record executive, I framed it like a heartbreak song on purpose, because obviously I wouldn’t have been able to release anything making him look bad while working under him
Sirius: You included some things that make it easy to figure out though, like you never flew to LA to meet Lily, we’ve known her for ages
James: Who?
Sirius: I-I mean…I actually have no idea what I’m talking about, who’s Lily? It's your ex, we are not name dropping people here
James: It did accidentally end up causing horrible things for her, horrible things I tried to stop, but when I said it was a fictional song people didn’t believe me
Sirius: Because it wasn’t, people were just directing their hatred at the wrong person
James: I mean…I don’t think people should direct the hatred they directed at her to anyone else
Sirius: I do! and his name rhymes with Schmalbus
James: Shut up!
Twitter, December 2019
James Potter @jprongsp ✓
[picture of James and Sirius the studio with Marlene, Lily and Mary] [picture of Marlene, James, and Sirius performing at a school talent show]
Ma Chérie ft. The Valkyries comes out at midnight! x
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tara :p @jpottersabs
can't believe we're getting a marauders and valkyries collab AFTER the jily break up we rlly are living in the worst timeline
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Rachel @mmriesrpretend
Well, clearly they made it before they broke up, look how close they're sitting on the photo. I just feel bad for James, who has to play nice with his ex for professionalism
January 13th, 2019
James had been looking forward to his birthday, it wasn't for months, but he had already made plans to see his parents. It would have been his first birthday in five years spending it with family, first birthday in years without any shows, so he had allowed himself to be pleased about it. He'd called his parents, and swallowed down the guilt he felt when they expressed surprise to hear from him, and had told them the news. They had been overjoyed.
This is going to crush them.
”I didn’t think it was a problem…” Albus says, “You’ve always had a birthday show.”
They had been called in for a rehearsal. For James' birthday show. One that he wasn't informed about before this rehearsal. One he hadn't accounted for when making plans.
”But you always ask.”
”I didn’t see the point in asking, you always say yes when I do. Besides, it's tradition, why wouldn't we do it?” Albus tells him. James hates how right he is. Hates that he knows that if Albus had asked he would have definitely agreed. “If we cancel now, people will be disappointed.” It’s not really an offer to cancel, and he knows better than to take it as such, but he knows Albus wants him to pretend like it is.
”It’s fine,” he says with a sigh, “Next time just let me know before announcing it.”
Albus hums satisfied, and leaves the room. James hates the way he always seems to know how to get his way, how to get exactly what he wants from him.
Twitter, 2020
otter @madsoundss
[Video of James and Sirius at an interview, the interviewer just asked if 'I Felt Younger When We Met' is really fictional
James: Yes...It-It truly is
Sirius: You all know how much we love a good story song
James: [laughs forcefully] Yeah! It's about a relationship...between two people, where one knows the other too well. Know how to get under his skin, and knows exactly how to hurt the other person's feelings. Kind of just a tumultuous relationship that maybe came to end, or should be coming to an end soon, because one person just makes the other...feel like shit constantly
Sirius: Right...We have another fictional song in this record as well! Ma Chérie, we wrote that with our friends from the Valkyries
James: [visibly lights up] I love the concept in Ma Chérie, I'd been wanting to write a song like this for- ]
that song is NOT fictional
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Lisa J. @msdemeanor
The immediate mood switch the second Sirius brought up Ma Cherie, you know, an actual fictional song...I have to laugh
Sirius Black’s Room, 2020
“Hang on”, Sirius calls out as James is walking out the door, “I want to talk”.
“Is it urgent?” James asks, half-turned, guitar case hung over his shoulder. Sirius barely feels like he recognizes him, the boy he knew when they were younger looked much more alive. “I really need to get home”.
Sirius looks at James, really looks for the first time in a while. His glasses are crooked. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been that way, doesn’t know when it happened. It makes him feel ill, he used to know everything about James. Used to be able to describe every detail about him with his eyes closed, used to know him so much more. It's not like he is unrecognizable now, but there are little differences that unsettle him. The bags under his eyes are more profound, he has an acne scar on his chin, and he looks older. Sirius reckons he probably looks different as well, he wonders if James is thinking the same things about him.
At Sirius’ apparent lack of response, James starts to leave again. Without thinking about it, Sirius grabs his arm. As in, he fully wraps his arm around his wrist, almost pulling him back into the bed. James looks alarmed.
”Sit”, he says, not leaving any room for argument.
James sits. Sirius can’t remember the last time they sat somewhere together without writing music, the last time they just spent time with each other without needing to.
“Is something wrong?” James asks, with faux-cheeriness that almost makes him uncomfortable. He can see it in his eyes, he is more unhappy than Sirius is, but he’s refusing to let it surface. It simply won’t do.
“How are you?” he asks, squeezing James’ wrist softly before he finally lets go. “I feel like it’s been forever since we talked”.
Two years, probably, since their last more than half-an-hour long conversation about their personal lives, around the same time he kissed Remus and for some reason, felt like he couldn't tell James. He looks at James, his eyes are already building up with tears. He’d always been horrible at hiding things when asked directly, it’s nice to know some things never change.
“I’m sorry”, James says, almost whispers really, voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.
Sirius wants to hug him, wants to comfort him and let that sentence be all that’s said today, but he knows if he lets it go now, James won’t ever talk about it again, and everything that makes them miserable will stay the same. This needs to happen.
”Why are you sorry, James?” he asks.
When they were younger, maybe thirteen, they had been riding on their bikes, and then James fell and broke his arm. It had been terrifying, and he ran six blocks until he got to Effie and Monty so they could take him to the hospital. He remembers James’ face, how it turned red and how the tears fell, and fell from his face until he was all cried out.
Just like it did when they were thirteen, James’ face turns red and the tears start to fall.
“I am an awful friend”, James says.
Sirius’ first instinct is to deny it, but lately he doesn’t know if it’s the truth, lately James has barely felt like his friend. Of course, he knows the other boy isn’t entirely at fault, they’re both partly to blame. He just wishes he knew when them standing in a room together doing anything other than working became a rarity. Wishes he knew when the little pit of resentment he feels towards James for putting up with all of Albus's shit became all-consuming. He wishes he wasn't so angry, wishes he loved James less, so he didn’t want to put this all behind them the second James apologized, wishes he loved him more so his brain would want to forgive him as much as his heart does.
“I love you”, he tells him finally, knowing that at least that is true, and hoping it brings James some comfort.
“I love you”, James says back, burying his face in his hands, “And I’m sorry we’re not best friends anymore”.
"Just talk to me." he tells him.
And James talks. Tells him about his own resentment, how he feels like Albus is constantly pitting them against each other, how he feels tired, overworked, exploited. How he wishes they never were discovered. How sometimes he feels like he does more for the band than Sirius (and then immediately apologizes profusely, but Sirius gets what he means). Then James listens to him in return, he looks a lot more comfortable doing that, but then again James has always been more of a listener. They disagree on some stuff, but they don't argue about it now, because the thing they agree on is that Albus is the root of it all; even the things that were on them, had in some way been perpetuated or originated by Albus. They also agree that Warlock Records is definitely fucking them over. To be fair, no one should sign a legally binding contract at fifteen, so they can’t entirely be blamed for that.
When they're finally done talking, it's been hours, so they order take-out and make a plan.
They're leaving Warlock Records.
Extract from: 'The Marauders' Share Their Truth in Tell-All Interview. Released on December 2023
James: ...we can talk about my love life, but it's not an answer you'll like
Sirius: I certainly know I don't like it
James: [shoves Sirius, who shoves him back] Shut up...My love life is something I want to keep private at the moment. If there is anything my last relationship taught me is that being…public about things makes everyone feel like they're entitled to an opinion...I had to make multiple publicstatements about my last breakup, and I was nineteen. I won't be making any statements, confirmations or denials about what you might have heard, because frankly it's none of your business. You are allowed to speculate, have theories, I don't really care, but you won't be hearing anything about it from me.
Sirius: You can hear about my relationships-
Article: James Potter’s NEW boyfriend. Did this relationship split The Marauders? uploaded June 2021
The band known as The Marauders, announced they were taking a break on early 2020, when it was announced, fans across the whole world feared this would be the end of the band’s collaborating career. And I hate to say it, but they might not be far off.
Yesterday, James Potter was spotted with former child star Regulus Black. Yes, Black, as in Sirius Black (James’ Marauder Bandmate). The pair was seen hand-in-hand walking out on the street, and a picture of them where they appear to be kissing pretty passionately has gone viral on twitter.
[picture of James and Regulus holding hands while walking on the street]
[picture of James, back facing the camera, with his hands on Regulus’ face. Both their faces are pressed together]
Fans of the band have also brought up this is not the first time the pair has been spotted together, as in late 2018 a picture of them sharing a cigarette was making its rounds on The Marauders social media circles. It didn’t get much attention at the time, but now fans speculate that this relationship was what caused James Potter and ex-girlfriend Lily Evans’ public breakup.
[picture of James and Regulus sharing a cigarette in 2018]
Sirius Black’s relationship with his family is notoriously estranged, as he has diverted questions asked about them in interviews and has stated multiple times he’s not comfortable talking about them. We can only speculate on why this is the case.
But what we can be sure of is: James definitely seems to be closer to Sirius’ brother than Sirius himself.
August 14th, 2018, 2:07 am
Sirius is asleep on Remus' shoulder, and they've been quiet the entire car ride home. James wants to ask what happened, why they had to leave so suddenly, but he's scared that if he says something Sirius will get upset again. He doesn't think he ever wants to see him be that distressed ever again.
Lucky for him, Remus breaks the silence. "He saw his brother," is all he says.
It's all James needs to hear. He knows Sirius' family is complicated, there is a reason why Sirius started living with him and his family since he was 14, and he's always known it wasn't a pretty reason. "Shit." is all he can think to say back.
Texts between James and Funeral Grey October 1st, 2018
hey! i hope it isn't too late to text you, we met at a bar in august, you lent me your lighter, and then you gave me your number.
hello
hey
...hello
so do you usually give out your number to boys you share cigarettes with?
I don't smoke all that much if I'm being honest
then why did you have a lighter lol??
I found it on the floor not even a minute before you came out
I had just gone out for some air
omg now i just feel like a bad influence
sorry for making you smoke
you didn’t make me smoke
no one can make me do anything
okay…
so why did you give me your number?
you seemed interesting
and pretty
oh
oh
heqz
sorry dropped my phone
tpure pretty too
Twitter, July 2021
sonny @fluorescentadol
men are so silly. fym “i don’t know who that is”, you were holding hands last month
[Video of Regulus being escorted to his car, clicks can be heard, and a small group of people is gathered around the area. He is signing something for someone next to the person behind the camera
Person, off-camera: Are the rumors true?
Regulus: Huh?
Person: Are you and James Potter dating?
Regulus: (smiles) I don’t think I know who that is, sorry
The video ends with Regulus walking into his car]