Knowing me, Knowing you

As James walked into the old goat house, a Beatles song got stuck in his head and he started whistling. A few seconds later and he heard some shuffling then a scrape of a chair. As he moves towards the ladder he sighs as he expects to find rogue chickens who try to fly up the ladder when people leave the trapdoor open. As he opens the trapdoor, just gently in case a chicken is standing on it, he sees two people and has to make an effort to not gasp. 
There bright as ever was Lily Evans in his old goat house, and next to her was Sirius? But it couldn't be since he'd just seen Sirius and he still had long hair. 

He quickly scrambled down the ladder before they could see him, memories drowning him, trying to remember where he'd seen this person before and it all drains away with one thought; Adhara. But it couldn't be her, she had passed away years ago. God, he missed her every day. But he could only focus on the fact that Lily Evans was there, with possibly her boyfriend. He wasn't sure, but he knew that Harry couldn't see her. 

He ran outside the goat house thinking about what Lily could have been up to after all these years.

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn
I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul

He was slowly climbing his way up to the top of the goat house, hoping to see them again without them noticing him.

and I can hear a bell ring
(One more look) and I forget everything, whoa

Mamma mia, here I go again
My, my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again
My, my, just how much I've missed you?
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My, my, I could never let you go

At the top of the ladder now, he's thinking about everything that went wrong. He'd been sitting on an apology for 18 years. The only reason why he hadn't was because of Harry. 

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong

and I can hear a bell ring
(One more look) and I forget everything, whoa

Mamma mia, here I go again
My, my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again
My, my, just how much I've missed you?

James had moved to the roof, moving towards a trapdoor. He thought about it and wondered if he could change it all. Would he?

Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye-bye, leave me now or never
Mamma Mia, its a game we play
Bye-bye doesn't mean forever
Mamma mia, here I go again
My, my, how can I resist you?
Mamma Mia, does it show again
My, my, just how much I've missed you?

Sitting at the edge of the trapdoor now, one they had made for a third floor but never got around to. He didn't think he would change anything, not a word spoken at all. Because it might mean that he wouldn't have Harry. He opened the door and leaned over, seeing Lily and the other man talk.

Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My, my, I could never let you go

A sudden gust of wind pushed him headfirst through the trapdoor, landing on an air mattress. When he untangled himself from the bedsheets, he found Lily and the other man, leaning over him. They both had curious yet scared looks on their faces, yet James only had two words running through his mind.

Oh fuck.

Once Harry had closed the trapdoor, Lily had started to ramble, with Regulus to bear witness.
"God we shouldn't be here. Well I don't really know about you, but I know I definitely shouldn't be here"
"Evans, it will be fine." 
"No, you don't understand. I didn't want to say it in front of his son, but the last time I saw him, we slept together and I had thrown up right after and told him I must be a lesbian. He'd asked me something and I don't even remember what I'd replied"
"I don't understand the problem, that is your wife outside, correct?"
"Yes, but I-"
"No buts, if Potter has such a fragile ego and took offence to that, then you should leave. Not for him but for you."
"It was a misunderstanding"
"Do what you like, but if the first thing that he says to you isn't an apology, then he's stupid" She looks at Regulus curiously, a blank look on his face.
"He was always stupid, it's why we were friends" She grins to herself, thinking about the pranks they made, the ones where she taught them how to not get caught.
"Well. Now I have a question for Harry." 
"What's tha-" she gets cut off by the whistle of the wind, coming through the windows then someone falling, yelling on their way down before landing on the air mattress. Simultaneously Lily and Regulus leaned over to look at the person who was untangling themself from the sheets. A head pops out and she is frozen. James Potter is staring at her with wide eyes. He looks in between for what seems at least an hour. Only two words were going through Lily's mind.

Ah shit. 

 Yet it's only a few seconds until Regulus speaks
"Ah, the infamous James Potter. I've heard about you" James looks at him with a confused look.
"Would you be related to Sirius Lupin?"
"Did they finally get married then? Yes, I'm... his cousin. Distant mind you, I doubt he remembers me." Something flashes across Regulus's face but Lily can't place it. James looks at her and she decides to beat the gun
"And I bet I've changed a lot since you last saw me huh?" She winces remembering exactly when that was.
"Lily Evans, you haven't changed at all." He stares wistfully between the two, something with more sadness towards Regulus. He then realises they're still staring at him and he scrambles up. 
"So why are you here? What are you doing? Are you here together?" he looks at Lily and she stutters before replying. Regulus has a glint in his eye that she could recognise anywhere from the face of Sirius Bla-Lupin. 
"I'm writing a travel piece. I have a book series. And no, we don't know each other, just met here." He seems to relax at that before raising his guard again.
"I thought you wanted to be a chemist?" James looked at her suspiciously.
"I changed my mind." He then looks at Regulus, more confused.
"My other cousin insisted that I see the island. Obviously, she told me years ago but I'd been meaning to get around to it" This makes James take a step back. He looks at Regulus again before shaking his head slightly and then continuing. 
"And how did you get here?" Regulus has the smallest grin on his face, one that James can't see while he's looking at Lily.
"We were told we could stay here, by one of the lovely ladies who seemed to be your staff." When Lily finally catches on, she joins in.
"Or maybe she said we couldn't stay here?"
"Well she was speaking to us in Greek"
"She did sound rather angry."
"Yes! That was it. You can't stay here, sorry, we're fully booked. I've got the reopening and all and my s- a local boy is getting ready to leave the island, big ceremony and all that."
"Are you sure we can't stay here, we don't mind roughing it"
"Yep! Positive, I'll arrange for a boat to take you back to the mainland in a few hours"
"Oh no need, I have a boat. Travel series and all that" At that Regulus turns around to look at her, surprise on his face. James relaxes and starts to climb down the ladder.
"Great! Well, then you should get on it. And go away. Away, away. Back to Britain." She salutes him before he gives her the stink eye as he closes the trapdoor. As soon as they can hear that he's left the goat house, they burst into laughter. 
"Chemist to spontaneous sailor huh?" Regulus asks before looking her in the eye and they both start laughing again.
"I thought I recognised you on the bus."
"Recognised me? And for your information that was always my Plan B" Regulus goes pale at the first part before relaxing again.
"I meant I thought I saw you on the bus from the mainland boat."
"No worries. Now we just have to figure out, how the fuck am I supposed to get a boat?"

James went racing through the hotel, tears forming in his eyes before he found Sirius and Peter. 
"Where's Moons?"
"In the bathroom, Prongs what's wrong?" Peter immediately asks, concern growing in his eyes. James took one look at him and the people staring behind him and tore off to the bathroom.
"James, what's wrong?" Remus looks at him while washing his hands before he locks himself in a stall.

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Peter and Sirius had begun to peek at him through the bathroom stall, Peter crouching down while Sirius stood on his back, hanging on the top. He sighed at them before burying his head in his hands. He didn't know how he was going to tell them this. 

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

While they were trying to talk to him, he'd realised the bathroom door was open. He unlocked the door and pushed past them, about to shut it when Remus's hand beat him to it, he turns to look at him a glare forming. 
Before either of them can say anything, Peter and Sirius drag him towards the counter and pick him up and sit him on the counter. Somehow both of them are panting before Remus grabs Sirius's bag.

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

As they talk around him, he gets given meds, gods know what, downed by Sirius's cocktail. Peter comes back from running around outside and puts flowers in his hair, Sirius stealing one for himself.  

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love's a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Peter and Remus argue about how to get James to talk while Sirius continues talking to him, the whole reason why he was so afraid. For some reason Sirius gave him lipgloss, and started to dab his tears with a tissue and apply mascara. 

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

He was tired of it and grabbed Sirius's cocktail, downing the rest of it before speaking.
"So I lied and you're all going to hate me."
"James, we could never do that"
"Oh you are" He looks to Remus apologetically, remembering his and Lily's friendship. 
"So you know how I said it was always Adhara that was Harry's mum. Your sister." They all look towards the floor, remembering what had happened that day and what happened after. 

Flashback

James and Adhara had been in the bed, just sleeping when Sirius had walked in with Remus. Peter had been waiting outside. Sirius connected the dots and got mad because his little sister was sleeping with his best friend. James had tried to diffuse the situation by telling Sirius that they weren't just sleeping together, he loved her. That's when Sirius looked to Adhara, saying "You haven't told him.".
 She had looked terrified. Sirius then explained to James that the reason why Adhara had been tagging along was that she was supposed to be marrying her friend at the end of the autumn so she wouldn't have to deal with their family. She’d asked her twin if she could tag along with him as a last hurray of freedom before marriage, wanting to see the world. As Sirius explained, apparently the wedding was in a week, not in autumn and their mother was calling anywhere and everywhere to find her. James had run, with her chasing him. 
"Please James you have to understand"
"What, that you were supposed to engage someone in a fucking week. How was I going to find out if Sirius hadn't come along huh? Would you have just left without a word the morning of?" She looked down before he stormed off again. 
"I'm sorry." Those words were supposed to have more meaning, from her at least. During their time toghether, she'd said her motto was "Never say sorry, I don't regret my decisions. Even if they are stupid. So I'll never say sorry, not in this lifetime." 
But he couldn't bring himself to care. All he could feel at that point was anger and a hurt in his chest and a lump in his throat. Everything felt painful so he walked away until he knew she had left the island. Peter had stayed with him for the next week. Then when Sirius and Remus had come back, reporting that she did marry the guy, Evan Rosier, he broke down. 
 About 8 and half months later, he'd woken up to find a child on his doorstep, with dark skin, unruly hair and mesmerising green eyes that he would've know anywhere. He sprinted to the dock, baby Harry in his arms. Yet there was no boat and hadn't been any for two days because of the previous storm. They'd slowly walked back up where James had found an envolope tucked into the basket, pinned so it couldn't fly away. 

'Dear James. 

I hope you are well and that you are ok after the last storm. I'm sorry for how it ended between us but this is your child. He doesn't haven't have allergies but was born about 3 weeks earlier than expected. There's no family history of illnesses on my side. I don't believe I am ready or able to protect him, but it seems you found your calling on that island of yours. 
I know you'll be a great dad. ' 

The letter was never signed and also inside the envolope was a  greek birth certifcate, everything filled out except his first name. There was also instructions on how to file it with the government and what to say if they needed to know where was the mother. He tried to recognise the handwriting, it had looked slightly like Lily's but not really. He had looked down at the child, sighing, before running to Lazaros's mother for advice. She first slapped him for being careless and then began to coo at the baby. Halina had been one of the first people in the baby's life and had been named after her; Harry. 

Two weeks later, Sirius and Remus had shown up at his door, yelping in surprise of James with baby Harry in his arms. Sirius told him Adhara had disappeared two weeks ago, before collasping in his arms and breaking down, bringing James with him before Remus took Harry from his arms. 

"So I lied. Just before I'd met up with you Sirius that summer, you know how Lily had tagged along" Sirius nodded, not realising.
"Yea, you'd said you'd gotten along much better as friend- wait prongs"
Sirius looked up, the dots connecting in his mind.
"Wasn't a friend at that point" Sirius screwed his face up before very slowly walking up to James.
"James Potter, please tell me that you didn't use my sister ,who is now dead, as a FUCKING REBOUND!" James opened his mouth in horror, waving his hands to stop whatever Sirius thought.
"No, No! Gods no, of course not Sirius. I love he-loved her. She was my everything." Peter looks between them, something else forming on his face.
"Is this why you were so angry at her? at lily? James did we stop talking to all of the girls out of solidarity just because you got broken up with again?" They all turn to him before tears come flooding again.
"No! What do you think of me? It's not exactly the best reason though. I didn't know you guys stopped talking to them. you shouldn't have done that."
"Anyone who hurts our Prongs doesn't get to talk to us, James. But did she hurt you." Remus looks at him, expression unreadable before James sighs and takes a big breath
"Ok so you can all yell and punch me when this is over but just let me explain, at the time I was going through some shit, I'll be the first to admit that, my nan was over, mum had just died and dad was.. empty. I tried to get him up again but nothing I did ever worked. And somehow I got it in my head that I wasn't enough for him. We had never been close like me and mum had and he just seemed to look at me differently. So I thought I wasn't enough for him and I left to go travel the world. And that whole time, to everyone around me, I wanted to be enough"

Sirius goes to speak but James puts a hand up "Let me finish, I know I was being stupid now. And somehow during that summer, me and Lily got closer and then suddenly I was falling in love with her again. I wanted to be honest with her, but I wasn't expecting anything of it, honestly thought she'd just punch me and we'd continue on being friends. But then she kissed me. Then we slept together, and I'd forgotten protection and she'd said she didn't care. It was bad I know that. " He looks around the room for any objections before taking another deep breath and continuing on.

"I thought it went well but looking back now, it probably wasn't the best but we tried again and she vomited and said that she must be a lesbian. but the way she said it, I thought she was saying I was so bad, that I’d made her a lesbian. I'd said sorry and asked if she was okay and she'd said that I was stupid for even trying with her again, that she shouldn't have. So I ran and that was the last time I saw her.  When I first got Harry-" 
"Those eyes of his, they've faded now" 
"Yeah"
"I been meaning to apologise literally a week later, but I was so afraid, and then I got Harry and for a while he was her's and she obviously didn't want him, and I didn't want to raise him around someone who didn't want him, and then when he got older I'd realised it been years and what do you do after years of never seeing someone, 'Hey sorry not talking for you because I had a fragile ego?'”before he could start rambling again, someone slapped him across the face, hard. He blinks before looking at Peter in indignation.
"Yes, you fucking idiot. Remus stopped talking to Lily. Sirius stopped talking to Mary, you stopped talking to Marlene for fucks sake. I had to stop talking to Dorcas. You could've apologised years ago. You've obviously realised that you were in the wrong so the only thing holding you back was pride and fear." James looked down with shame, before remembering the original thing he came to tell them.

"I know it's terrible, and I'll try to make it up to you guys I promise, but you can go talk to them right now. Because I just saw her and for some reason, your cousin Sirius, in my old goat house." The boys all look to each other before sprinting out the door, James following behind them. Remus was running like hell was on earth and heaven was that goat house, which made James feel so guilty. God, he'd been so afraid of apologising that he'd forgetten what they all meant to his friends. 
They'd all run up the ladder at the same time, Remus scrambling up and looking around frantically before glaring back at James.

"Where is she?"
"I swear, she was just here with your cousin Sirius! I swear on my life" Remus sighs before looking away. Sirius has a look of confusion
"Which cousin James? I don't think any of them would come out here. Don't why they would, or be talking to Lils at all."
"He said his name was Regulus, he was the spitting image of you and ... Adhara combined, I was so thrown off" At that Sirius's face screwed up again, but this time it was mixed with confusion and a whole lot more anger.
"James."
"Yeah?"
"I don't have a cousin named Regulus"
"Well he said you probably wouldn't remember him, he was here, I swear."
"I memorised the entire family tree to make sure Remus and I wouldn't be related. There's no Regulus"
"Well then whose pretending to be your cousin?" Peter asked, looking around as if he jump out of the shadows
"Regulus was the name that Adhara would insist I use for her when we were kids." he gritted out, James was still confused but Remus looked like he had pieced together the dots and was shocked.
"Wait so what does this mean?"
"It means that Adhara is still dead, but Regulus? Regulus is a fucking wanker and I'm going to kill him."