The last year of High-School is known to be the most unforgettable one, and Emmeline thinks that’s bullshit. For years she watched cliché movies, growing up thinking American schools would be exactly how it was portrayed in the big screens. Once she got there, she found herself in a hole of crap. There were no mean cheerleaders — in fact, most of them were really nice, — and boys were no Patrick Verona.
As a Japanese girl, things were actually pretty rough in freshman year. Emmeline didn’t get any friends until the end of the second term, after she met another foreigner, Mary Macdonald, who moved from Cuba to Illinois right after Christmas break.
Because of that, Emmeline grew a hatred for rom-coms. Everytime Mary would play any High-School movie during their sleepover, Emmeline would roll over and let her watch it all alone.
She was a senior now, and she was seeing how American High-School really was with her own eyes. Boring, just like every other school year.
Parties did actually happen, but Emmeline was never invited to one, so she held no hope towards it. And, even though she had a big group of friends now, she found herself to be too much of an introvert to actually interact and think other people other than Mary care about her.
It sucked. Prom was coming, and no mouths were kissed by Emmeline yet.
Even though she really hated cliché movies, down, down, down there, she was hoping she would live one.
“Emms, I swear to all Gods that if you keep zoning out like that, I will have to drown your face in that plate.”
Emmeline blinked, and fixed her posture. Her hand and cheek were slightly hurted by the amount of time she spent resting all of her head weight on her palm.
“Sorry,” she murmured, holding the fork.
“The food’s probably cold by now. I’ll buy you something later, let’s go.”
Mary got up, holding her food tray. The black haired girl frowned, watching her friend.
Where the fuck was she going? They had no classes during the afternoon, not after their P.E teacher retired.
“Do we have a substitute already?”
“Huh?” it took a while for her to remember, “No, no! Lily just invited me, and you, to a girls night this weekend, right before prom.”
Emmeline actually got excited during the first seconds, but then reality struck her daydreams.
“I won’t go to prom.”
“Of course you will.”
“I have no date, Mare.”
Mary rolled her eyes, “You don’t because you don’t want to.”
“Of course I do!”
“You run away from all the boys that approach you.”
“They’re weird.”
“Just… go with me.”
“You?” she laughed quietly.
“... and the girls,” she added,
“All of you have dates.”
“Wrong. Pandora’s going all by yourself, and Lily and Marlene are going together since y’know… the breakup thing.”
Lily and James dated for a good 1 year and a half before breaking up. None of them shared the reason, not even to their closest friends; so people were just forced to let it go. Emmeline couldn’t bring herself to care about it, since Lily didn’t seem much affected by it since the day she announced the breakup.
“Pandora is going alone?”
“Yeah!”
Everything Mary said seemed extremely obvious to her, and Emmeline wondered if she was the problem in this situation. To her, going to prom completely alone was the most embarrassing thing she could do — but hearing that Pandora is going without having issues with it, made her really wonder.
“So… let me get this right… you are the only one with a date?”
“Pretty much.”
Mary started dating in junior year, which didn’t surprise Emmeline since Mary was gorgeous, and had the best personality anyone could ever have. Her first boyfriend was Edgar Bones, and they stayed together for a couple months before he cheated on her with some random 9th grade girl, — Emmeline never forgave him for that, — and only 4 months after, she started having a romance with Remus Lupin, a close friend of theirs. That affair also didn’t last long, because he quickly broke things off by coming out of the closet.
Emmeline always envied Mary. Not in a bad way, though — she just wanted to be like her. She wanted to have the boys’ attention, and have cute romances like she did; but as time went by, Emmeline realized she would never be Mary.
Mary was an extrovert, and made friends quickly, while Emmeline was still getting used to the friends she made in September. However, it wasn’t like anyone ever wanted to be with her, at least 2 boys did; but Emmeline just didn’t like them, and she wouldn’t force herself to date someone just because she was jealous of her best friend.
“Alright.”
“Alright what?”
“I will go to prom,” she stated, seeing Mary drop the food tray to hug her sideways.
“Yes! God, it was never this easy to convince you of something.”
“Just because I am not the only one without a date!”
“Whatever the reason is, we are going to have an amazing weekend.”
Marlene, Lily and Pandora were known to be always together since 3rd grade. They treated each other like sisters, but also, they were never hesitant to welcome new people to the group. When Mary got close to them during the summer, all of them were quick to include her to the group, and the same was done with Emmeline at the start of the year.
Now, whenever they could, Mary and Emmeline were with them. Either after school, during classes or break. They grew together pretty fast, and now, Emmeline had the chance to say she had a group of friends — even though she was quiet 85% of the time spent with them.
“Hey!” Mary waved excitedly to the girls talking in front of the lockers.
“Oh my God! Hey, hey. We were just chatting about the weekend,” Lily met Mary’s energy, showing off her shiny smile.
“It’s gonna be so fun,” Pandora said.
“By the way, girls, have I sent you my mother’s number? You know, in case your parents need to be reassured.”
“My mother doesn’t care,” Emmeline said.
“Oh,” Lily’s smile shook, as she wasn’t sure if it was a heavy situation or not.
Emmeline felt like she needed to save the situation, so she added, “She trusts me… not saying you guys’ parents don’t, of course.”
Awkward.
“Some parents are just a little bit more worried than others,” Marlene stated, “It’s cool yours aren’t, though.”
“I don’t think I need your mother’s number,” Mary said, “I’ve updated my mom with every detail, and she knows you, so…”
“Ok. Amazing! So, me and Dora have volleyball practice by 3, but as soon as we are finished, we’re going to pick up Marls and you guys will meet us up at the shopping center so we can buy some stuff and head out to my house. Do you have your prom dresses yet?”
Emmeline had to blink a few times for her brain to be able to process all the information, since Lily rushed her talk.
“Uh…” Mary looked over to Emmeline, “Emmeline didn’t want to go to prom, so…”
Shit, she thought. To attend the prom, having a dress is basically the first essential, and Emmeline didn’t have that much money to buy a dress last minute. Embarrassed, she looked quickly to the ground.
“That’s ok. We can buy one.”
“No. I- I don’t have money right now.”
“Okay…?” Lily laughed slightly, frowning like she didn’t understand Emmeline’s point, “I’ll pay for it.”
“No! Oh my God, no. I don’t–”
“Emmy,” Lily held her shoulder, “If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t offer myself.”
Emmeline looked at Lily for a couple seconds, “I don’t want you to waste money on me.”
“You’re my friend, silly. C’mon, let me give you this gift.”
She looked at Mary, then Pandora and Marlene. Their faces were almost begging for her to accept it.
“Alright,” Lily’s smile grew instantly.
“Perfect! Ok, so… everything is settled, right?”
“I have a question,” Mary said, “At what time are we supposed to be shopping?”
“We will get Marlene by 4, so be there around 4:30. I will call you, though, just to make sure.”
“Hello!” before anyone could answer, Sirius made his entrance in the conversation by leaning against Pandora’s locker, “What are the girls talking about?”
“Girls night,” Marlene said, crossing her arms in a teasing way.
“Perfect. What time?”
“Why would you care?” Pandora laughed.
Sirius frowned. Sometimes, Sirius could annoy people with his sassy way. He always made himself invited to his friends’ things, especially the girls thing — which could be considered something creepy if it wasn’t Sirius doing it.
“Ain’t I considered one of the girls?”
Everyone laughed, and Marlene rolled her eyes, stuffing her books into her purple backpack.
“I’m sorry, babes. Tonight is reserved to girls and girls only.”
“What?! C’mon, the boys are being boring as fuck tonight. I wanna have fun.”
“If you want to hear us talk shit about your best friends, sure, come along,” Marlene said.
“Trust me, that would be a pleasure.”
“Still a no,” Mary fixed her jeans, which were falling down her hips.
“You guys are kinda mean.”
“Suck a dick, I’m sure your tears will dry.”
“No comment,” Pandora laughed proudly, “Alright. No girls night to the best boy you guys could ever be friends with, noted. Am I allowed to hang out with you Saturday, at least?”
“Yes, Sirius, prom is allowed,” Lily smiled, “Nice try to sneak into the sleepover, though.”
“I’m sure Emmeline would let me,” he pointed at her.
“I wouldn’t,” she quickly replied, and he sighed.
“Since you all took the day off to be mean to me, Imma head out to class. Good to see you, ladies.”
He started walking away, and Marlene yelled, “Your jacket is ripped on the back!”
“It’s style, Mckinnon!” he replied without looking back.
They all laughed, before Marlene took the lead, leaving the school with all of them.
“Where are they?” Emmeline asked, sitting on a bench.
Maybe it was too soon to ask, since they just got there, but it was around 4:40 and Lily hadn’t even sent a text saying where they were.
Emmeline was anxious about it, of course she was. All she could think about was something happening that could lead to the girls not being able to make it — she always thought about that whenever something good was going to happen. She couldn’t bring herself to believe in anything good before it actually happens.
“Stop overthinking, Emms,” Mary said, locking her phone to sit next to her best friend.
“Was it Lily?” she asked, looking at the gray android in Mary’s hand.
“What?” she looked at her hand, “Oh, no. It was Wilhelm.”
Wilhelm Wilkes. Also known as Mary’s date. They weren’t specifically boyfriend and girlfriend, at least as far as Emmeline is aware. He was kind of always into Mary, for the way he used to talk to her on the school hallways, despite Mary not liking him a lot for the whole freshman and junior year.
However, Emmeline wasn’t sure if he was a good person for her best friend. Something felt off about Wilhelm, but Mary swore in her feet that he was a nice dude.
“Are you sure he is not using you?” she asked, concerned.
“God, Emms. You say that about every boy that I’m talking with!”
“Maybe I just don’t trust boys, have you thought about that?”
“Babes, I love you, and I appreciate your concern, but I will be okay. I am not in love with Wilhelm, and if he wants to kiss me and leave, I don’t give a shit,” Mary calmly said, holding Emmeline’s cheeks.
The girl stared at her for a couple seconds, watching her dark eyes shining at her before saying:
“Just don’t leave me like you used to.”
Something switched on Mary’s face, a realization.
Emmeline never talked about how she felt when Mary’s attention was all on a boy. She always said something about not liking him, but not even once she thought about confessing how left out she felt whenever Mary was dating someone. In Emmeline’s head, Mary would be mad at her for banning her from dating just because she wasn’t dating. However, she doesn't seem mad now. In reality, she seemed confused, and a little bit hurt.
“I–”
She never got a chance to finish, because as soon as the first word came out of her mouth, the phone started ringing next to Emmeline’s ear, who jumped back a little with the loud sound.
Great, she thought. One step closer to destroying her friendship, nothing bad, right?
“Sure! Yeah, we’re here on the front door… okay. Uhm— I do, yes, 40 bucks. Okay, noted, see ya!”
Mary hung up, and her smile disappeared slowly as she looked at Emmeline.
“Emms, I would never leave you. Have I? God, I- I am so sorry you felt left out, why… why the fuck didn’t you tell me you felt left out?”
“It’s silly, really. I don’t want you to include me in your dating things, of course. Maybe…” she sighed, frustrated for not being able to express herself, “You know what? Forget it. Totally forget it. I can’t feel left out because you're a human being, I am not a priority.”
“Yes you are!” she automatically answered, “I’ll put you before any boy, Emms. I am serious. I am so sorry I left you out of my life because of boys… I never- I didn’t know I did that, actually.”
“Maybe you didn’t. Maybe I’m just being dramatic.”
Mary looked at her deeply, “You’re not… let’s go, we have to buy some chips, Lily didn’t have the time to.”
“Where?”
“Zabini’s, of course.”
The walk there wasn’t as awkward as Emmeline’s feelings being exposed by her own
self. Mary was rambling about freshman year, sometimes checking her phone but never actually replying to anyone who was texting her throughout the 20 minutes that took them to get there.
Not having Mary burying herself on her phone every 10 minutes was actually good. Emmeline felt like she could actually talk more without worrying about Mary’s attention on her — which really stressed her out.
“Okay. Which one?” Mary threw two bags of chips onto Emmeline, who somehow managed to get them both.
She looked at both. One was cheese, the other was ketchup. She enjoyed the ketchup way more, but Emmeline wasn’t aware of what the rest of the girls preferred.
“I don’t know, how much do you have to spend?”
“40 bucks, it’s fine.”
“Both? I mean… I don't know what they like.”
“Pandora likes the ketchup, Marlene doesn’t mind them, but Lily doesn’t like it.”
“So cheese?”
“You don’t like cheese.”
“Then why did you ask me to choose one?”
“Because…” she bit her lip, “Because you’re better with choices.”
“Fine. I say both.”
“Okay,” she smiled, picking the chips from Emmeline’s hands.
They spent a good while deciding between snacks, which was hard work since they weren’t sure about the girl’ preferences.
Once they were off the store, Emmeline offered herself to carry the bag, knowing she wouldn’t be buying anything on the shopping.
“Hi!” when they got there, Pandora, Lily and Marlene were already waiting.
“Hey!” Mary waved back, “We got the stuff. Chips, chocolates, some stuff to drink and some weird cookies we have no idea if it’s good.”
“What chips did you buy?” Pandora asked.
“Cheese and ketchup,” Emmeline said, “Since, y’know, there isn’t a flavor that all of us like,” she laughed quietly.
“Yes!” she celebrated, “You have no idea how much I love ketchup chips.”
“Guess you got yourself a ketchup chips buddy,” Mary giggled.
“You also like them?” Pandora asked.
“My favorites,” she replied.
“I absolutely love you! These bitches don’t get that flavor like we do, I swear.”
“It makes my mouth burn!”
“Shut up, Lily, your favorite chips taste like feet.”
Lily rolled her eyes, “Let’s get inside, c’mon. Let’s buy Emmeline’s dress first.”
Choosing a dress was extremely hard. Emmeline hates making choices, especially now that Lily is buying. Her eyes look around for the cheapest one, but Lily doesn’t allow her to do that.
“Stop checking the price. Choose one you really like,” Lily said, and Emmeline sighed, feeling her heart racing under pressure.
“Okay.”
She walked between the dresses, touching them and imagining how they would suit her. She didn’t want to take long, because they still had to meet up with Marlene, Mary and Pandora, who were checking makeup to take.
A blue glow caught her attention, making Emmeline walk slowly towards the dress hanging on one of the white walls. She looked at it for a long while, feeling the fabric in her hand. It was long, and it was a bit wheely and would probably get dirty from dragging it across the floor so much, but Emmeline wasn’t worried about it. Her hand flew to the price tag, and her heart stopped when she saw it was 130 bucks. She quickly stepped back, feeling a little bit sad. She wouldn’t make Lily spend so much money on her.
“This one?” the girl asked.
“Oh. No, no. It’s 130,” she warned.
Lily rolled her eyes, “Please, Emmy. I’ve told you that this is a gift for you. I have how to buy it, so why wouldn’t I?”
“It’s too expensive,” she said, while Lily walked in the direction of a worker.
“Hey, sorry to bother, but my friend wants to buy that blue dress over there,” she pointed, and Emmeline felt her cheeks burn.
“Size?”
Lily looked over to Emmeline, waiting for her response.
“Uh– XS,” she said.
“Hold on a second.”
“You don’t have–”
“Just shut up!” Lily said while smiling, “You’ll be beautiful in that dress, I’m excited for you!”
Emmeline couldn’t help but smile too.
“I hope so.”
“You will! Oh my God, it’s going to be the best prom ever.”
“I have blue shoes in my house.”
“That’s okay, we are all going home to get our stuff beforehand. I completely forgot about it at school.”
“Okay…”
They stayed in silence for a couple seconds before the man approached them again with the dress in his hands, “Here, girls.”
“Thank you so much!” Lily smiled politely, handing the dress to Emmeline, “Go, go! Put it on!”
Emmeline laughed quietly in excitement before walking towards the dressing room. She took a deep breath in the mirror, before taking off her clothes to put on the dress.
It felt tight at first, but her body got used to it as she fixed it to fit right in her body. Her eyes were shiny as she stared at them. Excitement and happiness filled her body as she saw herself in a prom dress — something that she dreamed off when she was a kid.
“Do you like it?” Lily asked from outside.
“Uh… yes, yes. It’s perfect,” she said with a smile on her face.
“Let me see!”
Emmeline took a deep breath before stepping outside, raising her arms as Lily laughed in excitement, meeting her energy perfectly well.
“You’re gorgeous!”
“Thank you so much.”
“Will you let me do your makeup? Please, please, please?” she glued her hands together as she begged for a yes.
“Of course, yes.”
“Yay!” she bounced, holding Emmeline’s hands.
They arrived at Lily's house with backpacks on their backs and bags in their hands as if they were getting ready to camp for an entire weekend. The laughter they shared the entire way ended when Lily closed the door behind her, calling for her mother.
“We’re home!” she screamed.
After a few seconds, Mrs.Evan showed up with a knife in her hand and a smile on her face. Emmeline could swear she was a robber for the first three seconds.
“Jesus, mom, put that thing away.”
“Sorry,” she dropped her hand, “Are you girls done with shopping?”
“Yes. By the way, you know the rules, once we are in the room there are no interruptions. It’s a girls night and a girls night only.”
“You’re not gonna have dinner?”
“If we eat now, we won’t be hungry for the snacks, Mrs.Evans,” Pandora said, and Emmeline raised the snacks bag.
“Oh. Alright, I will save the rest for your lunch, is that okay?”
“Totally,” Lily said, “Goodnight, mom!”
“Have fun!”
“We will!” she yelled back as she climbed the stairs.
When passing by Lily’s mom, Emmeline smiled, stopping on her way to shake the woman’s hand.
“I’m Emmeline.”
“I’ve heard so much about you! You can call me Charlotte, dear.”
“Alright, Charlotte. Thank you for letting us stay over.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
“Emmy!” she heard Marlene calling, and Emmeline smiled one last time before going upstairs in a small run.
When she got to the room, the bags were resting on the bed and floor, and Lily was messing with the JBL. Her room was pink, and comfortable. On the wall beside her bed, there were a bunch of posters from many artists, such as Clairo, Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift, Spice Girls, Boygenius and Mitski. Everything screamed Lily, from the pink bed sheets to the light green decoration.
“What should I play?”
“Play 90s/2000s music!”
“Play Clairo,” Pandora said, and Marlene slapped her arm.
“I said it first.”
“I will just play our playlist, what about that?” Lily looked over her shoulders to see if Marlene and Pandora had something to say against it, but no words came out of their mouth, “Mare, Emmy, do you guys want to add any artists to the playlist?”
“Olivia Rodrigo,” Mary said.
“I– we have pretty much the same music taste,” Emmeline pointed to the posters, and Lily smiled.
“Alright.”
While Lily worked on adding Olivia Rodrigo to the playlist, Emmeline took the snacks out of the bag with Marlene’s help while Mary and Pandora took off their shoes.
“Oh, by the way,” Lily looked over her shoulder while she played “Just A Girl” by No Doubt playing, “You guys can borrow my clothes for tonight.”
“Oh, thank God,” Mary said as she ran towards the closet, choosing a blue top with a white star in the middle, “Emms, did you bring clothes with you?”
“Nope,” she replied, and before she could even blink, Mary was throwing at her a blue top with a bunny print and pink PJ bottoms, “Thanks,” she smiled.
Emmeline watched as Mary took off her beige shirt to put on Lily’s top. A smile grew on her face when she realized Mary was wearing the bra she gave her as a gift last summer. Soon enough, she was daydreaming about that day, when Mary was crying over her father, and Emmeline wasn’t sure what to do, so she gave Mary her bra, because she was always talking about how cute it was.
Marlene’s laugh broke her back to reality, and she blinked towards her.
“What?” she asked, with an embarrassed smile.
“Nothing…it’s just…” she dropped the chocolate on the bed, approaching herself to whisper in Emmeline's ear, “You were almost drooling over Mary.”
Her heart stopped, and her belly became so cold she was sure she would throw up right there, “What?!” her voice was shaken up, “No! My God, no. She’s my best friend.”
“That’s the point, idiot.”
“No– I mean, she is straight.”
“So you’re not?”
“I– That’s not–”
“Relax, I’m fucking with you,” Marlene pushed her slightly, while taking off her jacket, “There’s nothing wrong with it, I won’t judge, trust me.”
Emmeline looked at her, breathing heavily. It’s not like she never thought about liking girls, but it wasn’t something she paid much attention to, so having Marlene pointing out how she was staring at Mary was scary, to say the least.
“Me and Mary are just friends.”
“That’s what I said about me and Lily,” she murmured.
Her eyes almost left her face, “What?!” she laughed, “You’re serious?!”
“Shh…” Marlene smiled, “Me and her planned on telling you guys tonight.”
“Oh my God! Is that why Lily broke up with James?”
“Kind of. It’s a long story, and it doesn’t matter.”
“I can’t believe this,” she looked at Lily, who was changing herself to a full pink PJ’s.
“Don’t make a fuss about it, they’re gonna ask.”
“Why– Why did you tell me?”
“Because you’re gayer than me, and that’s something to notice.” Marlene shrugged as she walked away, leaving Emmeline blinking at her.
Too much information for her brain to process. Marlene and Lily were dating, and Marlene thinks Emmeline likes Mary. And she is going to prom after having a sleepover at a friends’ house… and… Emmeline looks gay, apparently.
“Are we all settled?” Marlene asked.
“What are you doing?” Pandora asked Emmeline, “Change.”
The clothes Mary threw at her were still on her arms, and Emmeline didn’t even realize.
“Oh. Sorry,” she said as she walked towards the bathroom to change.
“Emmy?”
“Oh my God,” she heard Marlene.
“She doesn’t like changing in front of people,” Mary said.
“We’re all friends,” Marlene said.
“Emmeline Vance things,” Mary said, and Emmeline smiled from inside the bathroom.
However, her smile died as soon as she looked in the mirror. Fuck, she thought.
Marlene was a cold hearted bitch, because now Emmeline was going to think about her words for the rest of the night. Did she look like she liked Mary? Does everyone think that, too? Oh my God, does Mary think that?
Is she queer? Is she a lesbian? God… does she like Mary? She couldn’t tell. Of course she felt different towards her. Mary was her first friend after she moved to the US, so it’s normal that she liked her in a different way than she likes the rest of her friends.
Her and Mary were always super close, and shared almost everything — it’s a normal thing for girls who are friends to do.
“Are you done?” Mary asked from the door.
“Uh— yes, yes give me a second,” she hurried herself, as she was still with her clothes on.
Once she was changed, Emmeline stepped out of the bathroom, seeing Lily and Pandora eating the weird cookies Mary bought, and Marlene showing something on her phone to Mary.
“Finally, come, sit up,” Pandora tapped on the spot next to her, and Emmeline ran to the bed, taking the cookie from Lily’s hand so she could eat it.
“You guys are not ready for Emmeline’s prom look,” Lily said.
“I wanna see it,” Mary complained as she got up to the bed, leaving Marlene on the floor.
“It’s a surprise.”
“That’s silly, I am a curious person and Emms is my best friend.”
“Then you should’ve been there when she was choosing the dress,” Lily smiled, earning herself a kick from Mary.
“Oh my Lord, I love this song,” Pandora said.
Emmeline didn’t recognize it at first, but it was playing “Every Breath You Take” by The Police.
“That song scares the crap outta me,” Lily said.
“What?! Shut up.”
“It’s creepy! It’s a stalker song.”
“It’s a scorpio song,” Pandora said, and Lily rolled her eyes.
“Oh, please–”
“Do you guys remember that guy that asked me out?” Marlene asked.
“Edgar Bones?”
Emmeline stopped, and looked at Mary, who was frowning.
“I’m sorry— Edgar Bones?”
“Yeah, Amelia’s brother. Do you know them?”
“Yes, uh–”
“He’s my ex,” Mary said, and all the eyes were on her.
Marlene laughed, “You’re kidding!”
“I swear! We dated in Junior year but he cheated on me with a girl from 9th grade.”
“Lord!” Pandora said, “That’s weird.”
“I know!”
“He is weird,” Marlene said, “No offense to Amy, but I really don’t like Edgar.”
“He’s nice when he wants to,” Mary said, “He just… likes to not be loyal, I’m guessing.”
“So, he texted me a couple days ago saying,” she cleaned her throat before saying: “We haven’t spoken in a while, I hope you changed your mind.”
“My God,” Mary laughed, “That’s fucking weird.”
“I know! I told them I was not interested and for him to hit me up after college.”
Pandora laughed, “You guys, I am so lucky for not having to deal with boys,” Pandora said, laying down with her feet up.
“Same,” Emmeline said, and Marlene smiled at her.
“It’s so great to have a brother who knows every single boy ever, so he always tells them I am playing on their team before they hit me up.”
“Oh,” Mary said, “You don’t like them?”
“Not even a little, little bit,” Pandora got her indicator and thumb together, to represent how much she didn’t like boys, “I am actually dating a person.”
“Who?”
“They’re from another state… I know, I know, before you come at me, I know it’s embarrassing to be dating long distance.”
“I mean– I could never, but it’s not my relationship, so who cares?”
“They’re cool as fuck, by the way,” Marlene said, “She’s like a soccer person.”
“Very attractive,” Pandora said, “Here,” she took her phone out, searching for something before showing a picture to Mary, and then Emmeline.
They had long dark braids, and a nonbinary pin on their blue jacket.
“Dorcas is their name. She is coming to Illinois this summer, I’m dying inside.”
“That’s cute! Let me just ask… I’m assuming their pronouns are like she/they, right?”
“Yeah. They prefer “they”, though.”
“Alright.”
“I have a question. Since I just came out to you and Emmy: are you guys queer or just allies?”
“That’s a fucking weird question, Dora,” Marlene said.
“I’m sorry! If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine.”
“I–” Mary laughed, “I don’t know.”
Emmeline frowned, in silence. “I don’t know”?
“That’s okay. Most of us don’t even know what we are doing here. Emmy?” Pandora looked at her, and Emmeline shrugged.
“Never really thought about it,” lie.
“Well–” Marlene stepped in, “To take advantage of this queer talk, me and Lily want to announce something.”
Emmeline looked at Lily, who hugged her legs in a shy smile.
“Go on…”
“So…” Marlene laughed, “Me and Lily are dating. That’s it, I’ve said it.”
“What?!” Pandora got up in excitement, “You’re fucking kidding me!” she threw a hello kitty pillow at the blonde girl, who fell on her back, “You motherfuckers.”
“Oh my God, congratulations!” Mary said, smiling from one ear to another.
“How did I not know?!” Pandora hit Lily.
“It was a secret!” she yelled, laughing.
“I’m gonna kill you, this is amazing!”
“You know what this situation is asking for?” Mary got up.
“What?” Marlene asked.
“A gay song.”
“We have plenty on the playlist,” Lily said.
“Something happy.”
“There are no happy lesbian songs,” Marlene said.
“There is like that Katy Perry song,” Mary suggested.
“I have it on my playlist,” Lily said.
“Play it!”
“Okay, okay!”
While the girls danced to “I Kissed A Girl”, Emmeline ate snacks and watched them. Her brain was filled with questions, but she was trying to push them away. Part of her felt bad about herself for not making Mary comfortable enough to share her doubts about her sexuality, but the other part convinced her it was because Emmeline never mentioned that topic, either.
“Are you okay?” Marlene approached her, panting as she sat next to Emmeline.
“Yeah… I am.”
“I’m sorry about Dora, y’know, with the sexuality question.”
“It’s okay. I am just confused now, like, do I really look lesbian?”
“That was a joke, you don’t need to panic over it.”
“I asked you a question, Mars.”
“Yes. But no straight person has the gaydar I do, so chill, alright?”
“How did you know you were…”
“Lesbian. Okay, so… this is something only you can know about yourself. But, I never really liked boys, I just liked the fantasy I made about them. I wanted a boyfriend, but I didn’t want the boyfriend, y’know? I’ve always felt safe around girls, while being with boys made me sick to my stomach.”
She heard it carefully, feeling her stomach sink.
“Thank you–”
“Hey! Come dance!” Mary yelled, pulling Marlene by the hands.
Lily and Pandora were jumping and singing “Party In The U.S.A”, Emmeline tripped, having to hug Mary to stay still.
“Dance with me, c’mon,” Mary held Emmeline’s arms, forcing them to move.
A giggle escaped her, as she let her body flow. Dancing was not Emmeline’s cup of tea, but for Mary she would dance for hours.
“The butterflies fly away…” she pretended her hand was a microphone, pointing it to Emmeline for her to finish the sentence.
“Nodding my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah!” Mary held her hips, making them actually move, and Emmeline giggled.
Until the song ended, Emmeline did nothing but admire how happy Mary was, even when Pandora pulled her to dance with her as well.
“Oh my God!” Lily yelled when “Wannabe” by Spice Girls started playing.
At this point, introvert Emmeline Vance had disappeared, and she couldn’t do anything but jump and the lyrics to their faces, everyone pointing to each other while dancing. Lily ran, jumping on her bed. The ketchup chips bag fell to the floor, and Pandora was quick to pick it up to eat it while dancing.
“If you wanna be my lover,” Lily sang, “you gotta get with my friends,” she pointed to the girls on the floor.
“Make it last forever, friendship never ends,” they yelled together.
Even if Emmeline was now self-conscious about every single interaction with Mary, the high energy in the room didn’t let her sit in the corner and overthink for the rest of the night. By 1AM, all of the snacks were over, and they laid down to watch a movie they all agreed on — Mean Girls was the winner as all of them got excited when Mary suggested.
It was the perfect night for Emmeline. Having these girls liking her so much even though she barely talked throughout the year really meant everything for her. From Lily buying her the prom dress, from Marlene calming her when she was panicking about sexuality.
Throughout the whole day, Emmeline learned how to stop overthinking and be herself around the people who liked her, because they liked her for who she was.
Emmeline looked in the mirror, admiring the makeup Lily did on her. She had a blue eyeshadow, matching her outfit, with white pearls around her eyes that looked gorgeous with the hairband she was wearing.
“You look fantastic,” she heard Mary from the door.
“You too, pink is really your color.”
Mary smiled, “I’m glad you’re going, y’know? Prom would be boring without you.”
“Wilhelm will be with you.”
“He’s not you,” she walked towards her, “You’re better than any boy.”
She looked at Mary, feeling her heart warm up. Her fingers slowly touched her little braids in front of her face, “Pandora did a good job.”
“Yeah,” she giggled, “She’ll be a great hairstylist.”
“She will… God, I can’t believe we’re graduating in a week.”
“I know! I’m so scared of the future.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“Shit,” she said.
“What?”
“You’re going to Brown,” she said.
Emmeline felt her heart ache. If everything goes well, she will be flying to Rhode Island by August, while Mary stays in Illinois.
“It’s okay,” she held her shoulders, trying to be positive, “16 hours seem scary but I will visit you.”
“When?”
“Whenever I can, I promise.You’re my best friend, I can’t stay away from you for too long,” she smiled.
“I hope I’ll keep being your friend.”
“You will, like, forever.”
Mary smiled, not doubting Emmeline for a second. They shared glances and smiles before Mary pulled her in, embracing her best friend with all the love she could.
“I love you.”
Mary doesn’t say that phrase a lot. Sure, she says “love ya” a lot of times, but that doesn’t compare to an “I love you”, at least to Emmeline, who felt like her heart was growing inside her to the point it would explode anytime.
“I love you more,” she whispered, closing her eyes to feel the warmth of Mary’s arms.
This was it. A realization never came so quickly like this. She didn’t want to let go, and for a couple seconds she considered dropping her Brown dream just to stay here with Mary. It’s like their whole friendship flew through her mind, in the company of Marlene’s words and Emmeline’s confusion. Maybe she did like Mary, no… She did like Mary.
“Let’s go!” Lily leaned against the door, and Mary stepped back, “Wilhelm is here, c’mon,” she said, before leaving the room.
“Let’s go,” Mary reached for Emmeline’s hand, pulling her towards the exit.
Even with Wilhelm holding Mary’s hand and Emmeline’s stomach sinking at every glance, she was happy. They all walked together through the door. Marlene and Lily were holding hands, and Pandora was next to Emmeline, as they were both without dates.
“It’s gonna be fun,” Pandora said, “We don’t need to kiss mouths to have a good night, right?”
“17 years without kissing a mouth, one more day won’t hurt,” she laughed.
It was noisy inside, music was playing loudly, and a lot of teenagers were dancing and talking. Emmeline felt like running back home, but before she could rethink that option, she took a deep breath and put a smile on her face.
Marlene and Lily ran towards the dance floor, leaving Pandora, Mary, Wilhelm and Emmeline together.
“Let’s take pictures,” Mary said.
“There’s a photobooth,” Wilhelm pulled Mary before she could reach for Emmeline’s.
“Let’s go,” Pandora walked away, and Emmeline followed.
Once they got there, Mary stopped in front of it, “Can you get Marlene and Lily? I want a picture of us 5 together, sorry Wilhelm,” she looked at him, with a shy smile, “We can take one alone.”
“I will,” Pandora stated.
“While she’s getting them, wanna take a picture together?” Mary asked Emmeline, who nodded aggressively. A smile grew on their face before they got inside the photo booth.
“Alright, what pose will we do?”
“I don’t know, uh—”
Mary did half of a heart with her hand,”Complete it, let’s go,” she said, and Emmeline did it, smiling for the picture.
Mary got her arm around Emmeline’s neck, kissing her cheek. The smile that escaped Emmeline was embarrassing as her eyes closed, letting herself feel the happiness embracing her body.
“I love you,” she said, resting her forehead on Mary’s. It wasn’t with the intention to be in the photo, but the click sounded, and they hurried for the last pose.
The seconds were passing, and they couldn’t agree on anything, so when the photo was taken, they were just laughing at each other. Emmeline watched Mary as she got out, feeling her smile fade.
“Oh, I love it,” Mary said from outside, and Emmeline stepped out, looking over her friend’s shoulder.
The sequence was exhaling happiness, making Emmeline feel bittersweet as she looked at Wilhelm.
“Can I have it?”
“Of course,” Mary said, handing her the picture. Emmeline stiffed it inside her bag carefully, before Pandora, Lily and Marlene approached them.
They all took pictures together 5 times, so each one could have a different sequence to keep. After it, Mary and Wilhelm got inside. Emmeline could hear them talking about the poses, and the clicks and flashes going on four times, before they got out and took it.
“I’m gonna drink water,” Emmeline said, before walking away.
The party went on, and as Emmeline sat alone, she started coming back to overthinking. Pandora went away with Amelia Bones and her date, while Marlene and Lily were enjoying their night as an official couple. Prom had everything to be perfect since last night, but Marlene saying what she said, and Mary affirming she might not be as straight as she thought was making her go insane.
Until yesterday, what she felt for Mary was completely normal and platonic to her eyes, but now she was hating Wilhelm more than she hated any other boyfriend that Mary had. She kept thinking about how they were together, and how they would probably start being exclusive as Wilhelm seemed totally into her.
That was a disaster. She wanted to like someone so bad, that she might have manifested the wrong crush into her life — because liking Mary was totally insane.
They knew each other since freshman year, they were best friends, and Emmeline was going to Brown in a couple months… everything was orchestrated to go wrong.
“Hey there,” she heard a male voice, and before she could be defensive, Sirius’ figure entered her sight.
“Oh, hi,” she said, watching him sitting next to her.
“Why are you alone?”
“No date. What about you?”
“Boyfriend’s taking care of Peter, he’s crying.”
Emmeline frowned, “Why?”
“No idea, actually… cute dress,” he said, pointing to her, and Emmeline smiled softly.
“Thank you, Sirius.”
“This prom is so boring I might die,” Emmeline nodded in agreement.
“Y’know, I don’t know why I thought it’d be great. Maybe it was the cliché kid in me.”
“You still have time to kiss someone.”
Emmeline laughed, “That won’t happen.”
“You never know.”
“My crisis would never let me,” she said, not wanting to elaborate.
And Sirius, like he knew everything, just nodded, not asking further questions. They stayed in silence for a couple minutes before Emmeline stood up, dancing around in an attempt to have fun.
Without her being able to control it, her eyes searched for Mary, but nothing came. She checked the time on her phone, seeing that 3 hours had passed of her looking at everyone having fun and thinking about her best friend. Stupid Emmeline, thinking that the prom would be a remarkable and happy night. Pandora might have been right about her not needing a date to have fun; but it was hard when all her friends were enjoying the night without her.
Her brain kept telling him to go home, until he saw Mary sitting on the floor, looking at her cell phone. Worry invaded her as she ran towards her friend.
“Mare,” she called.
The girl raised her head, meeting Emmeline's eyes for a few seconds before the girl looked back, looking for Wilhelm.
“Hey,” she smiled.
“What’s wrong, where is Wilhelm? Are you okay?” she dropped her body to be eye to eye with Mary.
“Yeah… I kinda dropped him.”
“Why?” she held Mary’s knees.
The girl opened and closed her mouth a couple times, sighing.
“It’s… I don’t like him.”
“Oh. That’s fine,” she said, sitting next to Mary, “Why are you so sad, though?”
“Because… You’re going away.”
Emmeline frowned, “Huh?”
“ —To Brown. You’re my best friend, Emms, I will really, really miss you.”
“I’m gonna visit you,” she laughed quietly.
“But that’s not enough!” she said, frustration shining in her facial expression, “I want to be with you all the time. I can’t stop thinking about how we spent 3 years being together everyday, and now… I’m gonna lose you. We don’t know if we are going to stay in contact, or if you’re going to meet someone better than me and—” Mary bit her lip, trying to stop herself from crying.
“Mare,” Emmeline whispered, holding her hand, “There is no one better than you. No one.”
Mary looked at her intensely, and Emmeline could see a tear falling, making her touch her face carefully so as not to ruin her makeup.
“You don’t know that.”
“There is nothing in the world I’m more sure of. I love you, more than you could ever imagine,” she said, hoping Mary would get it, “I know Rhode Island is far, and I know we won’t see each other every day; but even though that is scary, I am so sure we will never fall apart.”
Mary closed her eyes for what felt like ages, leaving Emmeline creeping in anxiety.
“I have to tell you something,” she said with stormy eyes, and Emmeline nodded for her to keep going, “I– I dropped Wilhelm because of you.”
Emmeline frowned before remembering how she told Mary she felt left out whenever she was dating boys.
“Oh. Mary I– I’m sorry that I said that yesterday, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Listen to me,” she implored, squeezing the girl’s hands, “I love you Emmeline, okay? I really do, and I’ve spent almost an entire year pushing that away because I’ve always liked boys, and I thought it was insane to even think about the possibility of being in love with you… but I am. I am so in love with you I am completely desperate because we are graduating in a week, and then I will only have 1 month with you before you get on a goddamn plane. I don’t wanna see you every 6 months for 3 years, I really don’t.”
Emmeline listened in silence, feeling her body float on the gym floor. Her heart was hammering her ribs as she filled her lungs, desperate for air. It didn’t feel real, it really didn’t. How was she so blind to not realize how Mary was fighting her feelings for one whole year. All the times she cuddled with her while sleeping, or when she affirmed no boy was better than her. Somehow, Emmeline thought that was a normal thing between best friends, so much that she never even wondered about a romantic possibility — but now Mary was confessing to her, crying while Taylor Swift blasted in their ears.
She had to react fast, because Mary was looking at her like she was at the verge of sobbing in her arms, but she knew she wouldn’t run away. Mary would stay there, even if Emmeline said she didn’t like her, Mary would cry in her arms because they were each other’s safe place.
“Mare…” she whispered, cupping her face, while Mary rested her cheek against Emmeline’s hand, “God, why haven’t you told me this before?”
“I just accepted this, Emms.”
“I love you, I love you so much…”
“If you don’t like me, that’s fine.”
“I do. God, how I do… I want to be with you every day, too.”
“I’m sorry for making prom so sad,” Mary said, laughing as she wiped her tears.
“You didn’t. You made it better.”
Mary looked at her, as if they were communicating, even without any words spoken. Mary jumped into the girl's arms, hugging her tightly for long seconds, feeling the love burning between the two. When they separated, Emmeline stared at Mary's lips, before asking:
“Is this the part where we kiss?”
Mary giggled, crunching her eyes so much another tear fell, “Yes, yes it is.”
The girl's heart quickened before sealing their lips. They both let out a big sigh, squeezing each other tighter into the hug. The kiss escalated slowly, as none of them wanted to step away — Emmeline felt excitement filling her body, but she still kissed Mary in a slow pace, feeling everything she had to give her.
If a week ago someone had said that in just two days, Emmeline would learn how to be herself with Lily, Marlene and Pandora and that she had been madly in love with Mary since forever, she would’ve laughed. However, here they were, kissing on the gym floor while a prom was happening.
The girl pushed the idea of clichés back for so many years, that now she was living her own life, without fear of the future, at least not in those few minutes — that was something to worry about later. By now, she would be drowning in every chance she had of romance with the girl she truly loves.