Harry peeked around the corner. “Okay guys, the coast is clear! Let’s go!” Fred, Colin, and Lavender quickly followed him down the hall.
“I can’t believe I let you convince me to join you and your merry band of misfits on your journey,” Lavender complained.
“You love the kitchens just as much as we do. If you’re going to complain, next time we’ll leave you with Moaning Myrtle. And then you can explain to Remus and McGonagall what you were doing out past curfew,” Harry breezily replied.
“Myrtle isn’t as bad as you make her out to be. She’s really good at color theory. Sometimes I wish I could paint her nails.”
“Honestly, I think I’d rather listen to her wail about her death again then get fashion advice.”
“But then you have to deal with the flooded bathroom,” Fred chimed in.
“And Professor Lupin said we shouldn’t antagonize the other ghosts,” Colin helpfully added.
“I think she prefers the attention, to be honest.”
“Harry, there’s the tapestry.” Fred pointed to a weaving down the hall of three wizards fighting a Hungarian Horntail.
“I’m 90% sure this one spits us out on the third floor by the bust of Erick the Executor. We want the one in the next hall over, behind the painting of that Hufflepuff Minister for Magic. That one will get us to the fifth floor by the History of Magic classroom.”
“I’ve had the Map longer than you. I think I know where we’re going.”
“One, that’s rude. Two, I’ve studied the Map too. The portrait would be faster, and we’re less likely to be caught.”
Fred sighed. “If only we had it on us so we could discuss it.”
“I’ve already apologized for that! Will you please let it go!”
“Never.”
“How about we play rock, paper, scissors to determine which way to go?” Colin asked.
Harry glanced at Fred. “Are you game?”
“Of course! When aren’t I?”
“Okay. Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!”
Fred threw rock, but Harry covered his hand with his own. “Paper beats rock. Let’s go down down hall.”
Fred pouted. “Best two out of three?”
“Nope! I won! Let’s go!”
Harry set off down the hall, but they didn’t get that far until they stopped again, this time because of Lavender.
“Did you hear that?” She grabbed onto Colin’s arm. “Stop moving!”
They all paused, listening. Then, Harry heard it. The faint sound of chains rattling against each other and dragging across the stone floors of the castle. “Shit.” Of course the Bloody Baron had to be in their way. “Okay everyone, new plan. We’ll hide behind the tapestry.”
“Yes!” Fred cheered.
“This doesn’t mean you won!” Harry was quick to correct him as everyone retreated back down the hall.
“Did I hear a student? A student breaking curfew?” another voice shouted with glee.
“Double shit. C’mon!” Of course Peeves picked tonight of all nights to patrol the basement of Hogwarts with the Bloody Baron. Harry, Fred, Colin, and Lavender hustled back towards the tapestry, with Harry bringing up the rear. “No one make a sound.”
Harry shivered as he slid behind the tapestry, the cold from the stones sinking into him right away. He hoped that the Bloody Baron would guide Peeves along without much hassle. The poltergeist was known for making things move to get people out of hiding,
The four of them stood, unmoving, as the scrape of the Baron’s chains came closer and closer to their tapestry.
“Come on out, kiddies! Peeves wants to say hi!” he shouted from down the hall.
“Are you sure you heard students down here?” the Baron asked. “It may have been a house elf. Or maybe it was a figment of your overactive imagination.”
“I suppose I may have imagined it. Although I could’ve sworn I heard Potty’’s voice.”
The Bloody Baron rattled his chains. “Come on. They aren’t here.” His chains once again were dragging along the floor, this time away from their hiding spot. “Tell me more about what you have planned in the Transfiguration corridor.”
Harry waited until he no longer heard the chains, and then waited an extra five minutes to be sure they were gone. “I think we’re good now. Come on, let’s go back towards the portrait.” He exited from behind the tapestry, and the others followed.
Lavender hesitated, shifting from foot to foot. “Why don’t we take this passage? We’re already here.”
“The portrait gets us closer to the common room. Besides, we shouldn’t run into anyone else on this floor since Peeves just came through!”
“We’ll be fine!” Colin shouted, already halfway down the hall.
“Okay!” Lavender threw her hands up. “Let’s go!”
The excitement was short-lived, as they ran into someone as soon as they turned the corner. Remus leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Why is it always you three?”
“Hi, Professor Lupin! Fancy seeing you here,” Colin chirped.
Lavender turned the corner, and Remus amended his statement. “You four. I must admit, I didn’t anticipate Lavender joining you.”
“I was told the kitchens had hot chocolate at this time of night. I wanted to experience it again.”
“That’s understandable. However, Headmistress McGonagall specifically asked you last time to not go into the kitchens overnight.”
“But that’s when all the fun stuff happens!” Colin argued.
“And what did you do this time?” Remus countered, staring at Harry and Fred.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Fred replied. “Lavender said she wanted some hot chocolate, and we happily obliged her.”
Harry nodded. “Exactly.”
“We were already planning on going there, so Lavender didn’t really derail our plans.” Colin helpfully added.
Harry internally groaned. Even after 15 years, Colin still didn’t know how to keep information close to his chest. Harry decided a distraction was needed. “What were you doing down here?”
“I was looking for Peeves. I need to speak to him.”
“About what? The Baron mentioned he was planning something in the Transfiguration corridor. Why don’t you ask him about it?”
Remus let out a laugh. “Nice try, Harry. What did you put in the food this time?”
“I don’t understand why you think we did anything!”
“Maybe it’s because the day after you're found hanging around the kitchens, something goes awry in the Great Hall.”
“That’s just a coincidence.”
“It’s happened four times in the past four months. Will tomorrow make it five?”
Fred leaned over and whispered into Harry’s ear, “Damn, are we really that predictable?”
Remus smirked. “Yes, Mr. Weasley, you are.”
“Will you please tell me what you did so Minnie can have the elves reverse it.”
“We would never play a prank on the entire castle. That would be mean.” Colin said.
“Yes, of course.” Remus chuckled. “You lot never step a toe out of line, dead or alive. Come on, Minnie asked me to bring any stragglers to her office after last month’s debacle.” And so, the Gryffidors were frog marched to the Headmistress’s office.
They made it to McGonagall’s office in record time. She sat at her desk, wearing her signature tartan robes. Paperwork was in tidy stacks, obviously organized. Despite the late hour, there were no signs of weariness. She looked at each of them, and Harry found himself shrinking under her gaze, even after all these years.
“Thank you, Remus, for bringing them to me,” she began, nodding to him behind her former students before addressing them directly. “Any of you care to tell me what you were doing near the kitchens at this time of night?”
“Enjoying some hot chocolate.” Fred said nonchalantly.
“The smell was so strong I swore I could taste it,” Colin added.
McGonagall took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. “Is that all you did?”
Fred placed a hand over his heart, offended. “What else could we possibly do?”
“Last month the four of you managed to cause everyone to burp multicolored bubbles whenever they talked about coursework.”
“We just wanted to show everyone, especially the Ravenclaws, that they didn’t need to focus on their studies so hard.”
“And what about the month before that? The tonic that changed everyone’s hair so they had the same color as the person they had a crush on?”
Harry shrugged. “Teddy didn’t believe me when I told him that Victorie liked him. The color-changing hair proved I was right.”
“I did not enjoy finding them mid-snog two days later,” Fred said with a slight look of disgust on his face. “At least they figured out that alcove wasn’t as private as they thought it was.”
McGonagall shook her head. “You can’t prank the entire school to help your family member’s romantic prospects. You can’t play matchmaker.”
“But matchmaking is so fun!” Lavender chimed in. “I’ve been teaching Myrtle all of my tricks, and she thinks she knows the perfect girl for Hugo Weasley!”
“Really?” Fred asked. “Tell me, is it Hazel from Ravenclaw or Cindy from Slytherin?”
“Neither! It’s Stacey from Hufflepuff!”
“That’s a good match!” Colin agreed. “They both love the Cannons for some unknown reason and it can easily be arranged for them to be partners in Herbology if we talk to Derrick and Selena.”
McGongall sighed and shook her head. “You are no longer my students, so I can’t take house points. That being said, you still live in the castle, which is under my jurisdiction. If I catch you near the Kitchens again, I will change the wards.”
“Yes, Professor McGonagall.”
“As punishment, you’re all assigned double tutoring for the next month. Colin, you’ll have Charms, Fred, you’ll have Potions, Lavender, you’ll have Herbology, and Harry, you’ll have DADA. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Professor McGonagall.”
“Wonderful. It’s very late, and although you don’t need sleep, I do. Remus, will you please make sure all four of them return to their dormitory for the night?”
“Of course, Minnie.” Remus turned towards the troublemakers. “Come on, let’s head back to Ghost Central.” He gestured for all of them to stand and they obediently followed him out the door.
Once they were a few corridors away from McGonagall’s office, he turned towards the group. “When we get back, we’re going to have a long discussion about what you did.” Everyone groaned. “That way we can work out some of the kinks for next time!”
“Thank Merlin!” Fred said. “I thought you were actually disappointed with us.”
Harry agreed. “Yeah, Remus, you never took us to McGonagall before. I thought we might have actually been in trouble for once.”
“You are in trouble. I can always ask Minnie to make your punishment be double tutoring for two months instead.” A chorus of nos insisted that was a horrible idea. Remus chuckled. “That’s what I thought. Now, let's head inside the dorm and discuss what went wrong to better prepare for next month’s prank.”