Chapter 2
A deafening “HUZZAH!” went up as they entered the feasting hall from the dias and everyone in the feasting hall leapt to their feet.
“All hail Queen Devanye Rangaerwen,” King Elessar called over the cheering smallfolk, “First of her name, Queen of the Kings of the Andals and the First Men and the Free Peoples of Middle Earth, Founder of the Houses of Lords and the Assemblies of the Small Folk! All hail her consorts, King Severus Snape, First of his name, and King Carson Beckett, First of his name, Kings of the Kings of the Andals and the First Men and the Free Peoples of Middle Earth!”
“ALL HAIL QUEEN DEVANYE! ALL HAIL KING SEVERUS! ALL HAIL KING CARSON!” came the exuberant reply.
Devanye beamed, waving as she took her seat. Severus likewise waved lazy acknowledgment, while Carson flushed scarlet and bounced on his toes, bobbing small bows that prompted even more cheering from the smallfolk. Devanye grinned at him as he took his seat to her right. “They love you.”
“It has been too long, Queen Devanye,” Lord Gimli son of Gloin greeted from Carson’s right, resplendent in gold chains and jewels.
“My apologies, Lord Gimli,” she demurred. “May I formally introduce my consorts, King Severus Snape, and King Carson Beckett? Severus is an internationally famous Potions Master, and Carson is the most skilled healer in our world.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Carson blushed.
“There is no need to be modest, Dr. Beckett,” Mr. Spock intervened from his spot on Severus’ left. “You were hand-selected for this expedition for a reason, after all. To deny that reason is most illogical.”
“Ach, I’m all red!” Carson ducked his head, covering his face.
“Are you sure he has the stomach for kingship?” Lady Arya frowned from Mr. Spock’s left. “And can we eat yet, your grace?”
“Of course, on both counts,” Devanye confirmed, picking up her fork and knife and tucking in delicately. “Carson’s politics are gentler than mine, and Severus’ are more severe. I think the overall result will be a balanced and fair rulership of all of your fine realms.”
“And how fare the young prince and princess?” Queen Arwen Undomiel wanted to know from her place between Lord Gimli and King Elessar.
“Sleeping like a pair of angels,” Devanye beamed. “They had an eventful day with my family. Tomorrow, they will spend some time with you four, who I am thinking of making their godparents. Is that agreeable?”
“I don’t have to hold one, do I?” Lady Arya scowled.
“Not if you don’t want to,” Devanye assured her.
“Good. I’m not gentle enough for babies,” Arya deflected, spearing a cube of beef with her fork. “I might drop mine.”
Spock arched a sharp brow at Arya’s behavior, cutting his individual peas with precision. “I am agreeable to your proposition, Queen Devanye.”
“I would be honored to hold one of the babes,” Lord Gimli pressed a hand to his heart.
“You can hold both, seeing as Lady Arya is understandably uncomfortable holding either,” Devanye promised magnanimously.
“I would also be honored, Hiril Rangaerwen,” Queen Arwen Undomiel beamed radiantly.
They chatted amiably about the goings-on of the various realms. The glass gardens of Winterfell were starting to warm up as winter settled in. Arya had only experienced one true Westerosi winter, and she much preferred these shorter Earth-based winters that Devanye had equipped their snowglobe with. Lord Gimli had fired up his fiercest forge to make Devanye, Severus, and Carson a set of matching mithril shirts, which were now almost complete. Devanye distributed dragonhide jerkins and arm guards to her prospective godparents and basked in their praise. Mr. Spock reported that the Enterprise had been surveying a nebula before they were unceremoniously dumped at Devanye’s doorstep, which led to much discussion on what, precisely, a nebula was, and Devanye produced a set of paintings of nebulas for them to look at while Spock rambled on about the particular qualities of the nebula they had been surveying. This nebula had been just a few hours old when the Enterprise reached it, and promised a great deal of insight into the formation and early life of nebulas.
While Devanye nibbled on lamb and parsley, she allowed the conversation to wash over her as much as she was able. Queen Arwen and King Elessar were charmed by Mr. Spock, and Lady Arya liked Lord Gimli’s talk of forges and fire. She regaled him with the tale of Needle, her sword that her half-brother, Jon Snow, had had made for her. It seemed like a good, balanced mix for Judah and Layla.
At one end of the long table, Devanye’s parents and Just Grandma were chatting with Captain Kirk, and Prince Gendry, and at the other end of the long table, her siblings were laughing with Lord Legolas and Scotty.
They moved through the first course ― lamb, peas, and parsley ― and onto the second, mashed potatoes and gravy with asparagus and parmesan. And then onto the palate cleansing salad and aperitif ― enchanted not to intoxicate, even though it still tasted like alcohol. Devanye hurried down to her parents’ end of the table to explain about the non-alcoholic enchantment and ask if they wanted sparkling grape juice, but found to her surprise that they already had sparkling grape juice!
Dobby had beaten her to them, it seemed.
After dessert, they all trundled outside into the crisp winter air and watched Gandalf’s fireworks. Which meant that Eleanor was now the house elf topping off drinks. Devanye sat beside the great wizard, taking long draws on her emerald green teardrop CBD vape.
“What’s that?” Carson wanted to know, sounding stern and she blinked up at him.
“CBD ― strawberry vanilla, 500 milligrams,” she informed him at once.
“When did you start smoking?” he asked.
“Vaping,” she conceded. “Ages ago. I usually only do it right when I wake up and right before bed.”
“I’ve never seen you … vape,” he frowned, turning to Severus. “Have you seen her at it?”
“No, but we go to bed later and wake up later than she does,” Severus pointed out. “And I have seen that device on the nightstand. I just didn’t know what it was for.”
“I don’t like you hiding this from us, Devanye,” Carson said urgently.
“I wasn’t hiding it, I just wasn’t broadcasting it,” Devanye argued. “Can we not? It’s completely safe, there’s no THC, so I’m not impaired. I’ve never come up hot on a pee test, nothing. It helps with anxiety and restlessness.”
“Surely there’s a potion for that!” Carson denied.
“This works for me, Carson! And it’s nostalgic, I’ve vaped with Gandalf for years and with Nychole before that. I’m not going to ask your permission ― we can hash it all out later.” She shuddered at the sound of the bang, taking another draw, holding the cloud of vapor in her mouth before breathing it in and closing her eyes on the gently calming feeling that infused her as it absorbed into her system. Then breathed out, opening her eyes. A fiery green tree spread its branches across the night sky.
“I think,” Severus suggested, “we should go check on our children. Together. And we’re going to go ahead and hash it out. Now.”
With that, he grasped them both by the hand and Disapparated to the master suite. She hung her head, turning the vape over and over in her hands. “Carson, I’m sorry, I just … I rely on CBD more if I’m not drinking and it’s a stressful situation, and the freaking fireworks are just so loud …”
Another one, silenced by her enchantment over the room where their babies were sleeping, lit up the night ― a great white direwolf like Ghost with the Dog Star shining brightly from its eye.
“It’s alright,” Carson said, enveloping her in his arms when she trembled. “I wish you would have said something. I wish you would have told me, at least as your doctor, that you were vaping.”
“I’ve told other doctors when they ask about smoking and they’ve brushed it off as not smoking,” Devanye explained. “It’s perfectly safe.”
“Well, it’s still very new to me,” Carson murmured into her hair. “Hon Lik only invented the e-cigarette three years ago ― this is some manner of e-cigarette, correct? It administers the nicotine ― or CBD in your case ― through vapor rather than smoke?”
Devanye nodded. “We call them vapes in 2020.”
Carson gave a considering hum. “And this whole CBD business …?”
“Cannabidiol was ruled federally legal by the Farmer’s Act in December 2018,” Devanye informed him. “There’s no THC so you don’t get high, it’s not habit-forming, and there have been studies showing that it has many health benefits: it can be used to treat anxiety, depression, PTSD, even epilepsy. It’s perfectly ―”
“If it’s so safe,” Carson challenged lightly, holding out his hand, “may I give it a go?”
“Mine is 500 milligrams,” Devanye warned him, handing the teardrop vape over. “You’ll want to hold it in your mouth for a bit before inhaling. The vapor gets pretty hot.”
He nodded, taking a puff. Then let it out, raising his brows. “That’s smooth. And tasty.”
“Strawberry vanilla,” Devanye grinned.
Carson held the vape out to Severus, who obligingly took a puff. Let it out. He arched a brow, sampling another puff and pursing his lips. “It’s subtler than a potion or a Cheering Charm,” he remarked at last, passing it back to Devanye. “Potent, but subtle. You say it’s nostalgic?”
“Nychole started vaping when the boys were little,” Devanye explained. “There are zero-nicotine vapes, and she got me my first set when she was cutting back on nicotine. We both saw what smoking did to our grandpa, so we’d never use actual cigarettes. I’ve made several attempts at cutting back on alcohol and what it always does to me is make me very tired. I have active dreams at night and wake up exhausted. So I started taking CBD at night and in the morning, and it’s been fucking miraculous. When I rescued Gandalf, he of course had his pipe and relied on it pretty heavily after we lost Middle Earth. I Transfigured it into a vape and introduced him to CBD vape juice, and we regularly get together to chat and … or we did before I got distracted with everything we were doing here and stopped meeting up with him in Bree for a couple of years.”
“Did you teach him our brand of magic, too?” Severus wanted to know.
“No, he can’t use it,” Devanye shook her head. “I tried, but … his magic is different. Like Elf magic. Legolas can’t use our magic, either.”
Severus made a considering sound.
“Why didn’t we meet Gandalf on our honeymoon?” Carson wanted to know.
“I made a stop in Bree, but he wasn’t there,” Devanye shrugged. “He must have been traveling. Sometimes he visits Treebeard or Tom Bombadil and Goldberry, and the Old Forest and Fangorn Forest are too wild for you two. I’ll ask him after the fireworks. I really am sorry I kept the vaping from you. It just … it felt like something I just do ― like brushing my hair or my teeth. I wasn’t trying to be secretive.”
“I believe you,” Carson rubbed her back, then held her at arm’s length, regarding her sternly. “But if you’re going to be vaping, I can’t let you breast-feed our children. Sound fair?”
“I was raised on formula,” Devanye agreed. “And I can remove all the CBD from my breastmilk magically ― have been doing ― I wouldn’t give the babies CBD, they’re too young.”
“Oh, right!” Carson smacked his forehead lightly. “Of course you wouldn’t … Want to go see them?”
“Always.” She grasped Severus’ hand, leading him right along with Carson over to the cradles. Dobby was seated between the pair, rocking them rhythmically, and Devanye stared in wonder ― again ― at the tiny new additions to her family. Judah yawned and his sister stirred sleepily before settling back into her dream. She was dreaming of milk, Devanye could tell from how she moved her tiny mouth.
Severus and Carson’s arms criss-crossed behind her back, each man with a hand on her hip. Another flash lit up the night sky ― a glorious red dragon; Smaug. Devanye frowned. “He doesn’t usually reference his old adventures.”
“What?” Carson frowned.
“Gandalf,” she took both of their hands, twisting out of their embrace and Apparating back to the outskirts of the gathering for the fireworks, Lifting their hands and twisting under their arms, Devanye hurried over to Gandalf. “What’s up? You never do Smaug.”
“It has been quite some time,” he smiled kindly down at her, “and I believe it is time to move on.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “Okay. Question: Where were you around September 13th? I looked for you in Bree and you weren’t there.”
“I was in the Shire, looking for you,” he told her sternly. “You’ve been terribly tardy and caused me and others a great deal of alarm. I had arranged with Legolas to be his spy in the Shire, to learn what had become of you while he readied an army.”
“Oh.” Devanye hung her head. “I’m sorry about that, Gandalf.”
“You underestimate how much we love you ― you always have,” he pointed out. “But I will forgive you. From what I have gathered through birds and beasts that I communicate with, you have had your hands quite full rescuing more people. I believe they call themselves Athosians?”
“You’ll love Halling and Jinto,” Devanye nodded.
“I met them,” he nodded under the wide brim of his pointy grey hat. “They were most enlightening about what you’ve been getting up to in the past two years. You ought to be more careful in who you entrust your affairs to, you know. I needed only tell them I was another of your refugees and they regaled me with the many events you host around the Party Tree. Had I been Cedric in disguise, they would have given me an abundance of opportunities to steal you away.”
Devanye conjured a vial of Theives’ Downfall, the potion the goblins used under Gringotts to render disguises, even Polyjuice Potion, inert. But it was only Gandalf the Grey, a smile now twinkling in his grey eyes.
“Much better!” he chortled approvingly. “But you had better be getting to bed. You have quite a week in store for yourself!”