Chapter 4
Harry stood holding his bag in his hand and gaping at Ron and Hermione for far too long, his mind racing with whys and hows. He sucked in a sharp breath, not even realizing that he had been holding his breath.
Both of his friends looked up at him at the noise he made, Hermione’s face drew up in confusion,
“Harry, are you alright?”
Harry’s eyes snapped to Hermione’s,
“What? Yeah! Yeah, I’m great. Good. Totally fine.” He said, slinging his bag back over his shoulder before marching up to his room.
He could feel Hermione and Ron’s eyes on him as he made his way up the stairs, trying his hardest not to run. Once he finally made it to his room, he dumped his bag on the floor before collapsing face first onto his bed.
He felt like crying. He didn’t know why he felt like crying. It’s not like he hadn't given any thought to liking guys before. He’s had his fair share of miniscule crushes on a range of people, but this is different. This was something much more real than any of those other crushes that he had experienced.
Did having a crush on Malfoy mean he was gay? He wasn’t really sure what the distinction was between most sexualities. He rolled over so he was staring up at his ceiling, eyes tracing the posts on his bed.
Maybe he didn’t have to identify it. He was tired of defining himself to people. He could like whoever he wanted to, and it was nobody’s business whether that was a girl or a boy.
He sat up in his bed and took a deep breath. Having a crush on Malfoy was not the end of the world. He was sure it would go away, and that he only has one right now because he’s excited about perhaps being friends with Malfoy eventually. He smiled to himself.
He could do this.
He could absolutely not do this.
Draco Malfoy and his stupid hair and his stupid smile.
Harry was outside, pretending to work on schoolwork underneath his favorite tree on the ground when Malfoy had come up to him with a stupid half-smirk on his face.
“Reading, Potter? Anything interesting?”
Harry’s head snapped up so fast he swore he got whiplash. He blinked up at Malfoy for a second before looking down at the book he was supposed to be reading, flipping it closed for a second to look at the cover.
“Wasn’t actually reading it.” He said, looking back up at Malfoy who was shaking his head at him.
“Of course you would come outside just to pretend to read.” Malfoy teased lightly. Harry glanced at the people around them who were all slowly starting to look over at them, probably curious if a fight was about to break out. Malfoy didn’t seem to pay them any attention.
“Uh, yeah. Hermione was harassing me about getting my work done. This is my work around. Come outside to get a break, and stifle the guiltiness by pretending to do what she wants me to do.” Harry said, shrugging as he slid the book off his lap and onto the ground next to him. He glanced back around at the people around them.
“Worried about something? Other than disappointing Granger, that is.” Malfoy asked, moving to sit down on the ground next to Harry. Not before clearing off a spot and laying his robes down to sit on, though. Snobby git.
Harry stared at him as he sat down before responding,
“Pretty sure everyone thinks they’re about to be witnesses to a fight.” Harry responded, which got a small laugh out of Malfoy in return.
“Figures.”
Harry was very confused. He did not know why Malfoy had come and sat with him, especially in front of all of the people currently out and about on the grounds. He also did not know why Malfoy didn’t seem to care.
“Did you need something?” Harry asked. Malfoy gave him an incredulous stare.
“Everybody needs something from you, Potter. In my case, I would like to get away from my annoying friends. You were my best bet.” Malfoy explained casually, leaning back onto his hands. God he was going to be the death of Harry.
Harry swallowed and looked away before responding.
“Why is that? I thought I was annoying too.”
Draco scoffed.
“You are. Just less so at the moment.”
Harry couldn’t help the smile on his face at Malfoy’s tone. He looked over at Malfoy again, finding him already looking his way. Harry just shook his head.
“You’re a piece of work, Malfoy.” He teased. Malfoy just shrugged, unphased by the comment.
“I get that a lot.”
“Must be because it’s true.”
Malfoy didn’t warrant him a response to that. Instead he reached over to grab the book that Harry had set down. He read the cover, fingers trailing over the cover lightly as he read it.
“Divination? Are you failing this class as well?” Malfoy asked, jokingly.
“According to Trelawney, I have a natural talent for divination. Not that I pay any attention to that class. But no, it was just the first book I grabbed.”
“You don’t pay attention to any of your classes, Potter.”
“That’s not true. I pay attention in Defense Against the Dark Arts.”
Malfoy huffed a laugh at that before setting the book back down.
“Now that makes a lot of sense.”
Harry stared at him, waiting for an elaboration. When it didn’t seem like Malfoy was going to give him one he asked,
“Why?”
Malfoy looked at him, picking at the grass next to him,
“You and Defense Against the Dark Arts just go hand in hand, Potter. You’ve been doing it your whole life. It only makes sense that you would pay attention in that class, if only to learn something actually useful.”
“You know, I never thought of it that way.”
“You never think at all.”
Harry scoffed and shook his head at that, picking some grass and tossing it in Malfoy’s direction. Malfoy down at the grass that landed on his leg like it personally offended him, before snapping his eyes to Harry. He plucked some grass off the ground and tossed it right back at Harry.
Harry laughed, brushing it off of his shirt and pants. Malfoy smiled at him after a moment before shaking his head, leaning back on his hands once again.
They sat there for a while, talking and joking with each other. The people that had been staring at them waiting for a fight eventually gave up and went about their days.
Eventually Malfoy checked his watch and then got up, lifting his robes up off the ground and shaking them clean.
“Well this has been an awful vacation from my friends, and I only have you to thank for that, Potter.”
Harry grinned up at him,
“What, I’m not your friend too?”
“Oh, absolutely not. I don’t even think I can call you an acquaintance.”
Harry was brought back to his conversation that he had with Hermione. He waited a second before he responded.
“But not enemies?”
Malfoy seemed surprised by his question by the way he darted his gaze back to Harry. He stared for a moment, thinking, before smiling a bit and shaking his head.
“No. Not enemies.”
Harry didn’t say anything as he watched Malfoy shrug back into his robes. His heart was caught in his throat and he didn’t know if he could say anything at the moment even if he wanted to.
“I’ll see you later, Potter.”
“Yeah. See you, Malfoy. If you ever get too annoyed again, come find me.”
Malfoy looked at him curiously for a moment before nodding once and walking away.
As soon as Malfoy was out of sight, Harry collapsed back onto the ground and stared up at the tree.
He absolutely could not do this.