The cottage isn't the same when he's alone, doesn't have the same energy. It's void of light and music and everything that Remus always vows to want peace and quiet from, but now that he has it, it's worse than he could imagine.
He wants to walk in to the livingroom and be bombarded with a million irreverent questions and tiredly explain again for the thousandth time why they can't get a niffler as a pet. He wants to hear laughter spreading through the room like the warmth of the sun in the morning sky. Remus waits for it when he wakes up, the familiar soft, shushed giggling followed by a shuffle of feet bouncing around in the next room, though now the floor boards remain untouched. He misses the long-winded debates between his daughter and nephew, going back on forth on pointless quibbles whilst they sat around his office, waiting for Remus to finish grading papers. Who would win in a duel between a grindylow and Professor Burbage? How long would it take Professor Snape to notice if they replaced Ginny with Ron in a wig? How high up can someone travel by broom without a loss of oxygen? The last one, Remus, had to step in before Harry actually tested that theory out, though he was pleasantly surprised to find that Nova had placed a spell on her little cousin first, that allowed him to breathe easily even without any oxygen.
The house is too empty now and there's an underlying feeling in his stomach, a sickly sort of dread, like déjà vu. It's too quiet, too lonely. It gives him an idea of what life would have been like had he and Sirius not decided to have a child, had he not had Nova to get him through the worst time of his life.
Remus has a had a look into what that life alone could have been like and the idea fills him with dread, everything is so dull, so lifeless. He spends most of his time in his daughter's room these days, feeling guilty because he knows she wouldn't want him to live like this, but he doesn't know what else to do. He can't teach anymore, as much as he wants to go back to Hogwarts he simply can't.
There's the Order, but a part of him is keen to avoid that too, too many bad memories. Dora visits from time to time, always back from another secretive mission, just popping in for tea or a chat and though she tries to hide it, the worried, watchful look behind her eye is always unmissable.
Maybe this is what he needs, a break to really think things through. His life has just been turned upside down, things that he'd been led to believe had been a lie and it feels like he's been robbed of the life he could have led. Which makes him feel awful because that's nothing compared to what Sirius has gone through... Oh, Sirius, wherever he is.
Remus wonders if Sirius would even want him to find him. After all this time, and the one thing on his mind remains the same, it always has, the same mischievous smile, same cunning silver eyes. He wonders where he is now; he was happy to see Remus at first, but maybe that was because it was a glimpse into the past for him, maybe if he saw him now, it wouldn't be the same, too many bad memories.
Memories are the things he keeps coming back to.
He could simply walk into a room and find himself reliving the days of his youth.
Certain songs take him back to certain times of his life, and some days he listens to them on repeat, but then other days it's too painful.
Just this morning Remus was making an omelet and as soon as his hand touched the shell he was filled with nostalgia, an overwhelming rush of emotion that had him needing to sit down. Everything, everything takes him back to his youth, back to Lily, to Peter... to James and mostly, to Sirius.
-
Remus waited patiently as McGonagall circled around the room with a small circular tray in her hand. Beside him, Peter was biting his finger-nails in anticipation of what waited inside the box.
The Professor had an assignment for them, that much was clear, though they didn't know what that would entail.
Remus had spent the previous night listening to Sirius and James devise a whole long-winded conspiracy on what that assignment may be. Three hours that conversation had lasted before Remus finally sat up and threw pillows in each of their directions to shut them up. The taller boy tilted his head with a small smirk as he watched his friends jitter with excitement from their seats on the table ahead.
"Bet you a galleon one of them falls off their chair before McGonagall's even took the register," a light voice came from beside him, belonging to Lily Evans who was watching the pair in front of them with a look between amusement and exhaustion.
The brown-eyed boy tilted his head to the side to reply whilst looking straight at the board. "Make that two galleons and you're on," he smirked.
Lily slid her hand across the table subtly and lifted his up to shake it. "Kiss your money goodbye Rem... Potter's tipping," she whispered, leaning over toward his ear smugly.
He followed her line of sight to see James unknowingly slipping forward eagerly, his legs were wrapped around the legs of the chair, giving him the perfect leverage to tip forward.
Remus chuckled under his breath and shuffled forward, reaching his feet under the dark-haired boy's desk.
He kicked James in the shin and coughed out a quick, "Prongs" to get the boys' attention. Lily raised an eyebrow at Remus, but he ignored her.
James flicked his head around with a smile and lifted his eyes questionably. Remus pointed down to his chair that was slightly lifted off the ground and the boy widened his eyes and shuffled down on it to stop from falling. He then grinned at Remus gratefully and spun around to attach his eyes back to the mysterious box.
Lupin rested back in his chair and smirked as Lily let out a scoff, "cheater."
He leaned down on his elbow and propped his chin into his hand. "You didn't set any rules Evans, it's fair game."
She turned to face him and shook her head with a soft eye roll. "Cheater," she repeated, and he shrugged his shoulders with a smirk.
A confused noise fell from Peter, bringing the pairs' attention back to McGonagall as she placed a single egg in front of each of them.
Remus furrowed his eyebrows and picked the small thing up delicately.
"An egg? All this bloody time, it was a box full of eggs?" Sirius scoffed from the table ahead. He picked the egg up and tossed it from hand to hand nonchalantly.
Minerva crossed her arms, then walked back to the head of the class. "I'd advice you to be more gentle, Mr Black, wouldn't want to fail this assignment before it's even begun, would we?"
Sirius boredly placed his egg back down on the desk, beside him James was twisting his egg around, studying it closely as if it would suddenly spring to life. Sirius shoved him in the arm playfully and the egg slipped from his hands and through his fingers as he fumbled to catch it.
Minerva sighed and flicked her wand forward, letting the egg float for a second before placing it in front of Potter, who had turned a bright shade of red. Sirius laughed obnoxiously beside him.
"Right, before anyone else has an accident, let me get this clear. These eggs are going to be in your care for the following couple of days. I want you all to protect them using enchantments or charms, this is your opportunity to harness your skills. Now each one is enchanted, so I will know immediately if you break it, so use your heads and proceed with caution," she directed.
Remus glanced over at Lily with a funny look and she relaxed her eyebrows smugly, "easy."
She picked up the small egg and placed it into her cloak pocket.
Remus shrugged his shoulders and rolled the egg around his fingers. He tapped his wand against it and a roll of bubble wrap encased it, casting a protective shield around it before he placed it into his own pocket.
Beside him, Peter let out a gasp and leaned toward him. "What spell was that, Moony? Can you do that for mine?" he asked, gripping his own egg very tightly.
Remus raised an eyebrow at him, moving to separate the boy's fingers with the tip of his wand to loosen his grip, and then he smiled at the blonde. "Sorry Pete, gotta figure that out for yourself, but I don't mind helping you find another way. We could go to the library later?" he offered, and Peter nodded enthusiastically.
Sirius suddenly appeared at the edge of the table. "Oh, it can't be that hard right, all you gotta do is keep it safe, Wormy. Just don't sit on it," he laughed.
James squished in beside him and knocked into his shoulder. "I can keep it safe, I'm very delicate... It just needs a little tender love and care," he smiled, winking at Lily.
The red-head rolled her eyes, and then smirked to herself, leaning forward to meet his arms. James gulped and twisted around a little red and flustered as she approached him, Remus had to hold back a laugh. "You know, if you hand a dog an egg, they will put it in their mouth and be very gentle with it. The mouth is such a secure place that it keeps it intact easily."
Remus let out a laugh but turned it into a cough as Lily whacked him in the side.
James glanced over at Sirius mischievously and he winked at him, glancing quickly at Lily with an amused glint in his eye. "Might as well try it, Prongs."
James moved to place the egg into his mouth, smiling charmingly at the girl, but Remus quickly reached for it and took it from him before it could reach his lips. "Seriously, Prongs, you can not be falling for that," he sighed.
James frowned and reached for his egg, but the mousy-haired brunette pulled it further from his grasp.
"If he wants to put it in his mouth, just let him put it in his mouth," Lily exhaled boredly, flicking her blazer pocket with a few spells.
James smiled brightly, but Remus gave him an eye roll. "Don't encourage him," he told Lily before turning back to James. "Prongs, if you put this in your mouth, you physically won't be able to take it out without breaking it."
Potter's shoulders slumped, and he nodded, taking the egg back from his friend and carefully cradling it into his chest.
Sirius laughed, "now I really want to see him try it."
Before Remus could scowl at him, the bell went off and McGonagall dismissed them. Remus pat James on the shoulder, "don't put it in your mouth" he whispered before standing up.
Peter stood up as well and stepped in stride beside Remus, fondling his egg between his fingers. "Maybe I can bury mine in a plant pot and carry that around with me."
Sirius laughed loudly and grabbed onto Peter's shoulders, causing the boy to jump and drop the egg immediately. Remus stopped and turned to see the egg crack at Peter's feet, the smaller boy glanced up at Black with a frown and he shrugged his shoulders.
"Sorry Wormy, you should have been more careful."
James widened his eyes at the yokey-mess and then tapped the boy on the shoulder lovingly whilst peering back into the classroom.
"Professor, Pete needs a new egg!" he said, sending daggers to a few students, who snickered as they stepped past.
The professor placed a hand to the tip of her nose and strolled over to see Peter picking up the sticky reminisce of shell from the floor.
She let out a loud sigh, then shook her head. "Sorry Mr Pettigrew but the project had already started, I'm afraid to say you are out... Record time though, thought you'd at least manage to leave the classroom first," she whispered under her breath.
As they walked through the doorway, Peter frowned in Sirius' direction and he held his hands up in defence. "Hey don't look at me, you should have been holding tighter to it."
Remus let out a long breath and then flashed a sweet smile toward Peter. "Come on, a game of chess will cheer you up.
-
An hour later, the five of them were sitting around the common room. James and Peter were on the carpet beside the fire, competing in a vicious game of wizard chess. One that James was losing badly, his tongue was out in concentration as he stared at the moving pieces on the board.
Peter had already won at least twice, having beaten Sirius before that.
Remus didn't even bother playing, he knew where he stood when it came to chess with Peter Pettigrew.
Instead, he was on the sofa, book in his lap as he researched a variety of incantations and charms that could keep his egg safe. He was sure it would be easy, the only issue would be keeping it away from his friends, who were bound to cause some problems.
Sirius was sitting below him, head resting against his knee as he sat on the floor, cradling his egg in his palms carefully. Lily was on the other side of the couch, reading quietly, seeming unbothered about their latest project.
Remus felt a tap on his leg and peered down from his book to see Sirius looking up at him with a grin. The boy spun around a little, resting further against Lupin's leg as he lifted the egg into the air.
"I've got it. A vanishing spell, I can't break it if I don't have it," he winked.
Remus tilted his head to the side, biting his lip sheepishly, but Lily stepped in with a brisk laugh.
"It doesn't work like that Pads, McGonagall has them charmed, remember? She'd know if you weren't contributing properly. Besides, how can you be sure it would end up somewhere safe?" she said, flipping over another page in her book.
The Black heir slumped down against Remus' legs and dropped his head against the werewolf's knees dramatically. "You really know how to shoot a man down, you know that, Evans?" He sighed.
Remus chuckled, though it came out a little shrill and high pitched, his breath thinning as he peered down at the boy resting on him. James, who slumped his shoulder as Peter celebrated another win, looked over in their direction and stuck his tongue between his lips. "Oh, it's her specialty."
She smiled at him and stuck her head back in her book. "Exactly," she hummed.
The couch slumped then as Marlene McKinnon suddenly threw herself onto the middle of it with a dramatic sigh. "I can't do it, I won't do it, I simply refuse," she complained.
Remus turned toward her as Mary appeared at the back of the couch, leaning over the side.
"Can't do what?" Lily asked without looking up.
"This assignment... it's stupid, why do I need to protect an egg? What has it even done to deserve my protection? There's so many better things I could be doing," she sighed.
Mary let out a laugh, reaching over to lean her arms on Remus' shoulders. "Yeah, like what, stalking Meadowes around the castle?"
The four boys let out erupted snorts, but it died down when Marlene sent daggers around the room. Remus glanced down to Sirius with an amused glint in his honey-coloured eyes, the look was reciprocated with a curve that tugged at the other boy's lips.
The blonde edged around the couch so her head was in Lily's lap, the redhead didn't even look up, just simply let her hand fall into her friend's hair, patting it softly as Marlene embarrassedly shied her face away.
"Still silently pinning Marls? I thought you were gonna talk to her this week," Sirius teased, resting an elbow on Remus' knee as he sat up to face the girl.
The blonde flopped her head down in her friend's lap and shook her head dramatically. "I tried, but when I found her, her hair was too pretty, so I ran away," she sighed.
"Sounds like a reasonable excuse," Remus quipped.
Marlene let out a dramatic sigh, and Lily rubbed at the back of her head. "You have to talk to her sometime, Marls," she tried sweetly. Mary shook her head at that, finally moving away from Remus' shoulders to sit beside Lily on the armrest of the sofa. "Wouldn't even bother, every time I even mention Meadowes' first name, she just starts grunting. It's like a physical reaction. It's even worse when she sees her in person, I thought she was going to faint on me the other day."
James' head suddenly flipped around enthusiastically, swivelling to face them with his legs crossed as he rested back on his elbows.
"Dor- " he poked, testing the waters with a wriggle of his eyebrows and Marlene sent him a sharp warning glare.
"I'll hit you Potter," she grunted.
He beamed up at her, sticking his tongue between his teeth and his voice came out slow and goading. "Dor..." he prodded, rolling closer as Marlene narrowed her eyes. James snickered at the restless look on her face and then dramatically pressed a hand against his forehead. "Closed. Phew, it's warm in here. Someone mind opening that door?" He beamed, pointing to the ajar common room entrance door.
Everyone let out a groan, grunting and turning away from the boy with the glasses, all except Sirius. The black-haired boy gave Potter a wink, humouring his teasing with a shit-eating grin. "I'll get the Dor... for you. Cas' I don't want you getting too hot, though of course that's impossible right Lil's? Potter here can't get any hotter," he winked, sending a sly look to the redhead as she rolled her eyes and ignored him. Black chuckled sanguinely, "two birds, one stone," he sang to himself, placing one of his hands on his friend's knee to pivot his body around to face the girls.
The girls gave a joint effort to flip him off, trying not to give him the satisfaction of a bigger reaction, though in their favour Mary reached out and kicked the self assured boy in the shin. Black turned around and stuck his tongue out, hand still resting casually against Remus' knee as he pushed against it to propel himself to his feet.
Lupin squirmed beneath him, involuntary, and grey eyes suddenly tumbled on him, matched with a curious smirk.
Across the room, James smiled coquettishly and rolled back to face the chess board. "Good, leave it wide open in case Dorcas walks by so Marlene can gawk at her silently."
The fellow Gryffindor chaser let out a series of grunts and tumbled off the side of the couch, crawling onto the floor dramatically as if the comment had struck her right in the back.
"Mary, give me your egg so I can throw it at them," she sighed, the rug muffled her voice as she buried her face into it.
The curly haired witch laughed and shook her head from where she still sat, perched on the armchair of the couch. "Nuh huh, use your own egg. I have big ideas for mine," she replied.
Sirius, who had slumped down onto the now empty space between Lily and Remus on the couch, leaned over the redhead to squint his eyes at Macdonald. "Like what?"
She smirked at him. "I'm just going to paint it, make it all pretty and colourful, and put protective charms on the ink."
Lily gave a little impressed hum and smiled at her, nonchalantly pushing Sirius back over to his side of the sofa. "That's a great idea."
"Too bad that I thought of it first, Evans," the girl replied cheekily. Remus chuckled and lay back against the sofa, feeling his egg in his cloak pocket. "I'd rather not touch mine, I feel the more I leave it alone, the safer it'll be... until I've thought of a plan anyway," he yawned. It was getting late now, the sky outside the windows above them was growing a dark indigo.
Sirius peered over at him with mischievous intent and Remus furrowed his brows sceptically. "What?" he asked, already regretting asking as the word fell through his lips.
The black-haired boy smickered. "So you're going to Neggleggect it?" he asked. Remus blinked at him, wishing he had in fact kept his mouth shut.
From the corner of the room, James broke out into a fruitful laughter, clapping his hands loudly whilst Sirius bowed a little. Peter looked up through a frown and grabbed the chess piece Potter had accidentally knocked over in his amusement.
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Pads, that doesn't even make sense. You just smashed the words together," Remus suspired.
Sirius pulled his lips back in that god awful grin he always wore and tilted his head forward suggestively. "You mean... Togeggther."
A few red and gold pillows were thrown his way, all from different directions, and he reached up and grabbed them all with a grin, holding them close to his chest. "Thank you guys, I love that you all care so much for my child. This is just extra padding for her protection," Sirius hummed, creating a little bed on his lap with the pillows, before carefully laying his egg on top of it.
"Why is it a girl?" Peter asked, only half interested as he focused his full attention on his chess game. He knocked one of James' knights off the board, then smiled brightly as the other boy groaned. "I'm gonna tell him," James sneered, looking up through daring eyes as he gripped another fallen knight tightly in the palm of his hand.
Lily sat up and glared at him. "Don't you dare."
"When a witch and a wizard love each other very much," Sirius baited, only for Mary to lean across the redhead and cover the nonsense coming from Black's mouth with both of her palms. Though that failed to stop his muffled voice from slipping through the cracks.
Peter crossed his arms and pushed away from the chessboard, growing tired with his friend's antics. "What's that got to do with it?" he grumbled.
"Do we really have to explain basic anatomy to you, Pete?" Lily sighed, leaning back into the couch. Mary giggled slightly, finally releasing her hands from Sirius' mouth with a little disgusted shake. He grinned at her with satisfaction, but she ignored him. "I don't think Peter knows anything about the female anatomy to be fair, do you, Petey?" Macdonald chuckled.
His face flushed, and he frowned. James moved over to ruffle a hand through his flat sandy hair, but the boy quickly shoved him away and went to mope in one of the armchairs.
"Don't worry Wormy, I'll teach you," Sirius winked in his direction, getting a mortified glare in return. "I certainly know my way around the female anatomy," he said, clicking his fingers together.
Remus grew a little stiff beside him, glancing down suddenly. A frown fell over his lips but Sirius didn't seem to notice, too busy chuckling at Marlene as she rolled around on her back, mumbling that she could 'give him a run for his money.'
The rest of the night went pretty much the same way, filled with laughter and rumbustious jokes and so much love that Remus almost had to stop thinking about it for the sake of not tearing his heart in half. However, he kept going, thinking of those youthful faces, imagining their voices, and feeling a small pit in his stomach because he realised he was almost forgetting the cadences and tones of them, because it had been that long since he'd heard them. He swallowed thickly as he sat down to eat his food, in an empty living room, no fireplace, no Gryffindor cushions, no laughter filling the space with love, only the empty void of nothingness.
At some point during that night in Hogwarts, they'd decided to turn the assignment into some sort of completion. To see who could keep their egg alive the longest. Peter was out first, of course, so to get him to not complain over being left out, they made him referee and it wasn't long before it soon got out of hand.
They'd all gotten pretty competitive to the point that when one of them entered a room, everyone else would freeze instantly, grabbing their eggs as if they were pistols ready to shoot at a moment's notice.
It had all become pretty tense pretty quickly. Lily went feral, snapping at anyone that even came close to her and always putting up a protective charm before walking into a room. Mary wouldn't even look up before jinxing anyone that even dared breach her vicinity and Remus, well he just mostly kept his distance from his friends. See, James, Sirius and Marlene were always joking around, pretending to smash other people's eggs or throw them about, but sprinting off the minute the yelling started. They were relentless, always tiptoeing around, pushing everyone to their limits, especially each other, so it was no surprise when two of them finally cracked.
James' egg broke first, he'd been sat with Remus, looking through books on how to turn something into jelly. He knew not to mess with Remus' egg, so they both felt pretty safe sitting together.
That was until Marlene came creeping in, holding up a barely even born yet mandrake beside James' ear.
Remus had spotted her immediately, of course, giving her a raised eyebrow as she raised a finger over her lips. The werewolf closed his eyes as she stuck her hand into the soil and pulled the creature out, moving his hands over his ears to cut out the scream that came from the mandrake and the matching one that came from James. He jumped about 50 feet, launching his egg, that had been safety tugged away on a pillow, right into the air and causing it to plummet straight back down to earth, cracking at his feet.
Remus covered his mouth to stifle a laugh whilst Marlene burst out into a fit of joyful tears, stuffing the blubbering mandrake back into the pot as she rocked back and forth uncontrollably, that was, until, James pulled her forward and wrestled her into the carpet causing her own egg to crack inside her pocket.
She'd tried to say that it was cheating, protesting that James had purposely smashed her egg, but then Remus made the valid point that, that was exactly what Marlene had done and Peter had no choice but to disqualify them both, much to everyone else's relief. Though there was still one more trouble maker left in the ranks, if not the worst one of them all.
A few days later, a few of them were in detention. James and Sirius had been caught red-handed after a prank, unintentionally pulling Remus in with them who just so happened to be with them at the time of the crime. To be fair, the prank in question, was his idea, he just hadn't known it was going into full effect yet, so hadn't had time to work out all the kinks.
Then there was Mary, who'd skipped a few classes to stay out of the marauders' way for the sake of the egg assignment, though that had only landed her right in the midst of the madness.
The four of them were sitting around a table, boredly waiting for the hour to end when James reached over for Sirius' egg.
"Oh, I don't think so," Sirius tutted, grabbing it from him mid-air. "You leave Eggberta alone," he warned mockingly.
Remus glanced up from his textbook and narrowed his eyes. "Please tell me you didn't name it," he sighed.
Sirius and James shared an indecorous look. "Oh Merlin, you both did, didn't you?" The brunette exhaled, Mary, who was sitting beside Remus, began to shake her head, unwilling to involve herself.
"Mine was called Omeletta, may she rest in peace," James chuckled, causing Sirius to knock him in the shoulder. "More like pieces," he snorted, causing them both to fall into a fit.
Remus glanced over at Mary, who now had her head in her hands. "I can't take it anymore Remus, make them stop, please make them stop," she whined.
Remus smiled and turned back to the boys. "Oh, I'm sure it'll be over soon, any day now before Eggberta cracks, literally," he grinned, causing Mary to drop her head into her hands. "Oh, not you too, Rem."
He grinned at her, licking his lips over his teeth before turning back to his book. "My child will not crack, she's too strong aren't you Eggberta," Sirius said, rubbing the top of its shell delicately.
James reached for it again, but the other boy pulled it back, holding it away from Potter as he continued to caress it.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Oh god don't stroke it. That's just creepy," he scoffed.
The black-haired boy grinned at him. "What? She's my child Moony! You wouldn't get it, a father's love is eternal," he sighed.
Remus shook his head. "Not with a name like Eggberta, that's just child cruelty," he joked.
Sirius hummed loudly, picking the egg up and cooing to it. "Sorry honey, Uncle Moony just doesn't understand, but Daddy loves you, my perfect little dear," he cooed. James wrapped an arm around him and wiggled his finger at the egg. "Yeah sweetheart, Dada loves you too. I think you're the most beautiful egg in the whole basket."
Mary glared up at them. "I think I'm going to be sick," she retched, covering her mouth with her hands theatrically. Remus chuckled at her, and then lay back in his chair, trying to ignore the other two boys as they pretended to burp the imaginary baby/egg.
"Little Eggberta Black," James cooed, kissing the top of the shell. Sirius pulled it back and gave him a funny look. "Actually... she's not going to be a Black."
Remus looked up at that subtly, watching from the corner of his eye.
James let out a hum, looking at his friend curiously. "No?" he asked, and Sirius shook his head. "She'll be Eggberta Potter. We'd take your name, of course. No child of mine is being tainted with that god awful title," he said in a mocking baby voice, tickling the egg.
"Oh, okay Mr. Potter. I'm fine with that, you and our child can take my name, just don't tell Lily, I'm almost getting through to her. Don't think it would bode over well if she found out I was already married and had a child," James laughed, gently taking the egg from Sirius and rocking it in his arms.
Mary nudged Remus, he looked over at her and smirked at the little sceptical shake of her head. "She doesn't have to know Prongs, Moony and Mary can keep a secret," Sirius edged, wriggling his eyebrows at the pair. Remus chuckled under his breath, meeting grey eyes with a small humoured look. "Sure, Mr. Potter, I'd keep your love a secret," he whispered.
Sirius' eyes widened a little, a small disdained look falling behind them at hearing the words leave the werewolf's mouth. There was an odd look in the crease of his brow, maybe one of regret or maybe Remus was just looking too far into it, either way he chose not to comment on it and soon enough, Mary pulled them both out of it. "Something tells me Lily would be thrilled at that Potter."
James laughed sarcastically and pushed back on his chair. "You're laughing now Macdonald, but just wait. At our wedding I'm going to make you give a speech on oh how wrong you were, and it's going to be beautiful and tear jerking and then I'll be the one laughing," he hummed, rubbing his hands together menacingly.
Mary shook her head with a small snort. "Careful Potter, don't wanna rub off all your craziness on your child," she muttered, pointing to Eggberta, who was cushioned between James' fingers.
"You and I both know she'd get that from Sirius, not me," he laughed, nudging Black in the shoulder. "Aswell as his unwithering desire to annoy us all on a daily basis, it's a good thing I like you Black, you really are unbearable sometimes," Mary added with a sigh.
Sirius grinned at her, reaching over Remus to kiss her on the cheek. "And you love it, as annoying as I can be, you know you wouldn't have it any other way," he sang, laughing as she pushed him away.
The grey-eyed boy turned to look at James, "and that's exactly why she's taking your name. Don't need another Black out there ruining the family's reputation," he mocked.
"That's why she's not named after a star then," James replied, laying the egg back on the little cushion Sirius had laid on the table.
Remus was watching the black-haired boy now, taking in the soft smile that fell on his face. "Well, no, I just couldn't think of a clever pun. I don't hate all the stars. I mean, there are some good ones, me included. I just, I reckon my child," he said, picking up the egg again. "As much as I wouldn't want them to be a Black, I'd still want them to be a bit of me, and why not one of the most shining parts, because of course something that came from me is going to gleam bigger than the night sky," he said. Mary let her head drop onto her elbow with an exasperated groan, deciding to tune out of the conversation and focus back on her work.
James laughed and tapped him on the shoulder. "Oh definitely, they wouldn't just be a star Pads, they'd be the brightest star."
Sirius smiled at him, grinning brightly. "Oh yeah, on an epic level, bigger and brighter than all the stars in the sky. A Super-Nova, if you will," he hummed, twirling the small egg around his fingers.
James laughed. "A Super-Nova Ey? Is your kid gonna be a superhero or something?"
Sirius placed the egg back down and clapped his friend on the back. "Oh absolutely, they'll rule the world. In all their Eggcenlentcy."
Both of them broke into a fit of giggles and Remus sighed and turned away, focusing his attention back onto his work, whilst they spit out pun after pun, growing more unbearable by the minute. Beside him, the brunette girl's eye was twitching.
Mary groaned loudly and suddenly stood up, causing the other three to look at her. "You know what? I've had enough," she huffed, holding her egg up.
Remus raised an eyebrow, "Mary, what are you- "
It hit the ground with a crack, and she carefully rubbed her hands together before walking away without another word.
It was a while before another cracking, that's what they referred to it as, or well what James had excitedly come up with and pestered everyone else into saying.
There were only three left in the game now, Sirius, Remus and Lily, and they all walked on eggshells around each other.
That was until Lily had finally had enough. In a fit of rage after Sirius had almost broken her egg, testing her new bubble wrapped cloak spell, she hexed him and opted out of the competition to not risk her marks, saying how the stupid little game was no reason to lose out on an assignment.
Leaving just Remus and Sirius.
Now in the beginning Sirius was playing smart, he knew Remus would be a hard shell to crack, but he didn't know it would be this relentless.
As the days went by, whenever Sirius walked into a room, Remus walked out of it. Whenever he crept up on the werewolf, Remus would always sense him coming and spin around to give him a warning look. It was no use; they dragged the game on and on till eventually everyone grew tired of their constant bickering and watchful eyes.
They could barely be in a room together without turning it into a battle.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Remus asked, he was sitting on his bed finishing his potions homework when he'd noticed Sirius in the doorway.
The other boy smirked. "Like what? I'm not even looking at you, Moony?" Sirius had said, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the doorway, though his eyes were scanning over the brunette.
Remus closed his textbook over and moved up onto his knees, also crossing his arms as he studied the vexatious look on his friend's face. "Yeah you are, you're looking for my egg."
Sirius threw his head to the side, laughing, dryly. "No, I'm not! I'm literally just standing here!" he huffed, uncrossing his arms dramatically.
Remus watched him like a hawk, leaning back a little on his knees. "Go stand somewhere else, then. You're too close to me."
The air grew tense between them, eyes stuck on each other as Sirius blew out a false frustrated breath. "Merlin Moony, why are you so on edge?"
Remus narrowed his eyes crossly, letting his hand drift down to his robes where his egg was neatly tucked into his pocket. His gaze stayed glued to the black-haired boy as he spoke.
"Because you're putting me on edge! SIRIUS I CAN SEE YOU EDGING CLOSER," he spat.
Sirius stopped moving and cleared his throat with a shit-eating grin. "I think you mean, Egging closer," he corrected.
The werewolf ground his teeth together and let out what was pretty much a growl.
"PADS I SWEAR TO GOD!"
Peter, who was sitting on his own bed, trying to write down some notes from herbology, suddenly looked up at the pair tiredly.
"Please, for the sake of my sanity, can you just not tonight, I really need to get this done. Please."
-
One late afternoon, Remus was walking down the corridor, seemingly alone, though he could smell a familiar scent following after him. He let out a breath, hiding the small smile that tugged at his lips before he turned around and grabbed Sirius, pinning him against the brick wall and holding him down by his shoulders.
"Why are you following me?" He asked, holding him still as Sirius shuffled below him. The black-haired boy brushed Remus' hands away with a huff, knocking them back to the taller boy's sides, but he still towered over him with an eyebrow raised.
"I was just walking," Sirius shrugged, unconvincingly, looking up at him with innocent eyes. Remus chuckled sharply, grabbing at the straps of his bookbag, "In the same direction as me?"
"Yeah, is that a crime?" The grey-eyed boy scoffed, whining a little as Remus moved his hands down Sirius' sides, checking his pockets. He felt something sticking out, some sort of weapon, Remus pulled it back to reveal a whisk.
He held it up in front of Sirius and looked at him dubiously. "What were you even going to do with this?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows.
Sirius glanced between the tool and his friend, swallowing harshly. "Make an omelette?" He offered.
Remus frowned and threw his head back with exasperation as the other boy laughed. "Okay fine, I won't try nothing I promise, truce?" he said, Remus moved away and pulled Sirius from the wall. "Truce," he sighed back, not believing for one second that it would stay that way.
They fell in step beside each other. "Where are you going anyway?" Sirius asked, following Remus down the corridor, they seemed to be heading toward the kitchens.
The brunette boy smiled. "To see Dora," he breathed, and Sirius' eyes darted up at him, dropping along with the frown on his lips.
He let out a whine. "Do we have to," he groaned. "I get the feeling that she doesn't like me... she's always glaring at me like there's something she knows, something she's hiding."
Remus adverted his gaze because Sirius was absolutely right. Nymphadora knew a lot about Sirius, mostly because she'd heard Remus rant about him every single summer since their first year at Hogwarts. Especially after the prank, and she's the only one... apart from Lily... who knew about Remus' feelings... Plus, she'd made it very clear that she wasn't exactly a fan of Sirius... and his antics.
"C'mon on Moony, sometimes she's just a bit- "
"A bit what, Black?" Nymphadora asked, suddenly appearing behind him. Remus smiled over in her direction whilst Sirius jumped, almost dropping his egg that was leaning out from his leather jacket. He quickly reached forward to grab it and placed a hand over his heart.
"... Hi," he said awkwardly. "Loving the new hair colour... so blue."
His enthusiasm died down at the blank look on her face. "Right okay. Yeah, great to see you too," he said, more to himself than anything.
Does rolled her eyes and shoved him aside to pull Remus into a hug, he quickly hugged her back but eased her around the egg in his pocket. "Careful, don't want to break it," he exhaled.
She pulled away and raised an eyebrow at him.
Remus pulled the egg out to show her and she peered at him strangely. "Is that an egg? Why do you have an egg?" She asked bemusedly.
He looked down at it with an amused smile, taping his wand against the shell till the egg flattened, and then he slipped it in back into his robes.
The confused girl peered over at Sirius, a little crossly, "what have you done to him? Has he gone mad?"
The black-haired boy scoffed and pulled out his own egg again, showing her it as if she was stupid.
She looked between them, blinking wildly.
"Okay, maybe I'm the one going mad. Why do you both have eggs? Is this some sort of weird Easter celebration that I'm unaware of, cos' if so, you are a bit late with that," she said, with a noise between a laugh and a huff.
Sirius scrunched up his features. "What's Easter?" he asked. Nymphadora pulled a face in his direction, before looking over at Remus with raised eyebrows.
Remus chuckled. "It's for an assignment. McGonagall's class, we have to keep them safe. We sort of made it into a competition to see who could last the longest, Sirius and I are the only ones left," he told her.
Dora's face lit up with recognition and her lips moulded into an 'o' shape. She patted her friend on the back and cheered. "Well, congrats Rem," she smiled.
Sirius coughed and started to gesture loudly. "Uh... he hasn't won yet. I'm still in the running."
The Hufflepuff girl folded her arms obnoxiously and tilted her face to the side, giving him an almost pitying look. "Wishful thinking, Black," she hummed cheekily.
He pulled his lips back, affrontedly. "Hey, I have just as much skill to win this as Moony," he said, pointing between himself and the taller boy.
Remus scanned over him, noting the frown on his lips, the bounce in his step as he moved his weight to one side. It was endearing really, watching how the boy's face flushed, his hair ruffling as he brushed an angry hand through it.
"What ever Nymphadora, you'll feel very silly when I'm actually the last one standing," Sirius spat, and the girl's face scrunched up ferally.
Sirius bounced back on his heel, perplexed at the angry expression that had overcome her features. He looked over at the taller boy for help, but Remus just let out a knowing laugh beside him, tutting under his breath.
The black-haired boy turned back to the Hufflepuff as she pounced in his direction.
"Don't call me Nymphadora," she grunted, pointing a finger into his face and grabbing at his collar with her other hand.
Sirius looked taken aback, placing a hand over hers to drag her harsh grip away from his shirt. "What should I call you then? Dora?" He scoffed, pushing her hands away and she let out a loud groan in protest.
Remus laughed again. "That's what Remus calls you," Sirius added, completely baffled.
The girl glared at Black and then looked at Remus fondly, pushing her lips to the side with a smirk. "Yeah, but that's Remus. That's different," she quipped.
Sirius' eyebrows furrowed, glancing between them both almost accusingly, and a small huff fell through his lips. "I'll just call you snappy then, or you know what, maybe I just won't call you, how about that?"
Remus rolled his eyes. "Call her Tonks for Merlin's sake," he grit tiredly.
Sirius smirked mischievously and Remus let out a small breath of air, knowing this could go on for a while. "Tonks? Okay Tonky," Sirius remarked, sticking his tongue between his teeth.
A flash of red flushed through the girl's hair and she shook it furiously, crossing her arms over. "Shut up Sirius, my dad's dating your cousin, she's my mum now, so respect me or I'll tell her you're a piece of shit."
Sirius let out a rush of boisterous laughter. "Oh please. Andy already knows I'm a piece of shit and loves me in spite of that, I'm her favourite," he mocked, grabbing Remus by the shoulder in an attempt to turn them around. He glanced back over his shoulder at the Hufflepuff girl. "Guess that makes us cousins, see ya at Christmas," he tried, pulling Remus away but the boy did not move, instead he leaned back against the wall, placing a hand over the tip of his nose.
"We are certainly not cousins, Black! Just because she's my stepmother now, doesn't make us related in any way! Any way!" She spat.
Sirius rolled on the balls of his feet and winked at her. "Well, maybe not by blood, but we are in spirit."
At the furious look on her face, Remus pushed off from the wall and gently grabbed Dora by the arm. "Let's just study another time, otherwise this could go on all night," he whispered. She let out a disappointed breath but nodded, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug, and smiling sarcastically at Sirius as she did so.
Remus shook his head softly, and then wrapped his arms around her in return, missing the grudging look that appeared on Sirius' face.
Tonks pulled her tongue out at Black from over Remus' shoulder and then pulled away, laying a kiss on the brunette's cheek before strolling back down to the Hufflepuff common room.
Once she'd disappeared, the corridor was suddenly filled with silence. Remus turned around to see Sirius watching him with narrow eyes, studying him, thinking something over.
The brunette raised an eyebrow at him, before shaking his head and shuffling away, but Sirius caught his hand, halting him in his step.
Sirius' hand was soft, leaving light gentle touches as he gripped Remus' slightly sweaty one.
The taller boy peered down at his own scarred hand, at the fine black nail polished one that sat in it perfectly, pulling him back toward the boy it belonged to.
He looked up into grey eyes curiously, stepping into his space. "Sirius, what are you- "
Just as he was about to finish his sentence, Sirius quickly reached out, a daring expression pulling at his face as he grabbed at the werewolf's cloak quickly, messily, reaching for his egg.
Remus released a dark, gruff noise. Narrowing his eyes at the boy before gripping his wrists, slowing his motions. He pushed Sirius back and wrestled against his wandering arms, reaching for the egg in the inside pocket of his friends leather jacket. He could see the shell sticking out from behind the thick material, the little googly eyes he'd stuck on Eggberta were looking back at him, wide and fearful, as Remus lunged forward.
But Sirius was faster than him, or well, was when it wasn't a full moon. Nevertheless, velvety haired trickled over Remus' elbow as Black quickly spun under his arm, laughing as he twirled out of the way.
Remus blew out a half swallowed chuckle and spun to face him, reaching out for him, and they're wrestling, pushing each other roughly into the wall, and reaching for each other. Hands are roaming, hair is getting pulled, getting fumbled messily. Then suddenly Sirius' back hits the wall, and brown eyes are looking into grey ones and their bodies are inches apart.
Suddenly the laughter has stopped, and instead the air is filled with heavy breaths. In and out, excruciatingly slow, and Remus doesn't know if ten seconds have passed or ten years. All he can focus on is Sirius' breath against his skin, barely inches away, hot and heavy on his neck. It trickles up his spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps running up his arms.
One of his scarred hands is pressed against the wall now, holding himself up as the other rests on Sirius' waist. He doesn't even know when it landed there. But he's too preoccupied to care because Sirius' hands are on him, on his hips pulling him forward and before he knows it Sirius' lips are on him, moving in perfect pace with his own.
Remus can't tell who initiated it, his head is too foggy, but he lets out a sigh of bliss, melting into the kiss. It's quick, and it's heavy and it's like a weight has finally been lifted because oh he's wanted to do this for so long. Every glance, every touch, every fucking argument has all been leading up to this moment, and Remus is lost in it. He's lost in Sirius, in his taste, in his touch, in everything that he's willing to give. Remus is consumed by him and it's like he's finally breathing for the first time, like he's been drowning and he's finally come up for air.
The tanned hand on Sirius' waist comes up to rest in his rich, velvety hair, pulling him even closer than he already was, if it's even possible. And it's so good, it's addictive, he's never felt anything like this before, because Sirius' lips are on his and he's addicted to how he tastes. It doesn't even cross his mind that they're in the middle of the corridor and anyone could catch them at any moment, because he's too far gone, too lost in the ecstasy of him.
Remus wants to breathe Sirius in, feel him in his lungs and- crack.
Their lips part, panting breaths leaving both of them and drifting out into the air. Remus leans his forehead against Sirius' and they're laughing, laughing hard, because they've just lost the competition, both at the same time and frankly, right now, they don't care.
-
Remus leaves his empty plate in the sink, usually he's just sorts it right then and there to leave a good example, but Nova's not around to pick up on his mistakes. Not that she ever has, she's always been his little angel, even when she was a baby, even when she was at that age where they're just little demons.
She was an exception, and he's probably bias. But he can say that given as she grew fangs every full moon and still managed to not throw a tantrum or tear him apart. No, she'd see his mistakes and instead of picking him apart for it, she'd help him grow. He'd like to think she got that from him, but he knows that's a trait solely gained from her mother. Dora always knew how to read people, mostly, always knew what they needed, that's why she became an auror.
Nova got other qualities from Remus, of course: her brain, her aversion to cold weather. Possibly her humour, to name a few, oh and especially her eyes. When they were their natural colour, that was, she'd always had his eyes. Through her smile, that grin she did when she wanted something, the one that plastered her face with joy and mischief, that wasn't from him.
And it would melt him every time.
He remembered the first time his daughter had grinned like that. It has been a particularly bad day for Remus. A Halloween evening, in fact, a few years after... and he'd been trying to put her in a little pumpkin costume, after Dora had convinced him to actually leave the house that year. But even as he looked at the little orange toddler in front of him, he just didn't know if he had the strength.
He'd wanted to just sit inside, staring at the wall and let the numbness in, but as he turned around to grab the little green hat that came with the costume, he'd heard a loud, rambunctious laugh.
"Daddy, hat. Hat, hat."
Remus had turned around quickly to see Nova grinning up at him. Mostly at the funny little hat in his hand, but that grin, that smile, he knew it anywhere. It was impossible, there was no biological connection, even if they joked about it. No, Nova was Remus and Nymphadora's biological daughter, that had been the plan, the steps that they'd taken.
She had her mother's long thick hair, her bubbly personality and the shape of her face. She had her father's brutal stubbornness and honey coloured eyes. But that smile, that was undeniably Sirius' in every single way. The crinkle in the corner, the way it lit up her whole face, the daring hint behind the eyes.
It may not have been a biological connection, but she was Sirius' child nonetheless.
That part of him, that joyful, mischievous part of Sirius had always been kept alive in Nova and Remus felt sick that he'd never even shared that part with her, she should know where she gets her smile from.
He was sitting on her bed now, parchment clutched between his palm, Nova's favourite black dog teddy bear sat upon his lap, staring down at the page, not really sure what to write, but he did anyway.
Sirius
I don't know how to start this. I'm not going to ask you if you are well because I feel like that is a stupid question and we've both lived long enough to know we are in no shape to start this with small talk.
Look, I don't know if I'm ready to see you, or if you're ready to see me. So much time has passed between us, and I don't know if we can ever get that time back... as much as I want it, and Merlin, I want it.
But if not for me, if not for us then, I feel it only right that we come to some sort of agreement for her. She deserves to know who her father is, and I'm ashamed to say that I've hidden that from her and I can never forgive myself for that and I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't either. She's coming home soon and I want to give her that chance. To give you that chance.
I'm sorry, I don't know if I know how to do this, but I think I owe it to you, to myself and to our daughter, to at least give it a try.
Yours truly
Remus Lupin.