Well, isn't it?
Glinda woke up the next morning feeling like she was drowning in regret. All she had wanted for the last 5 years for Elphie to come back. For Elphie to come back for her. And it finally happened, and Glinda had kicked her out.
She thought back to their fight. She wished she could take it back. It all needed to be said, but not like that. Well, maybe not all of it needed to be said. The incident on the tower was something she never wanted to tell anyone, ever.
It was exactly a year after the Melting. All sorts of festivities and celebrations were scheduled for that whole week, and especially for that night. Glinda, as head of the Emerald Council, had to be involved, as much as it pained her. But she had been able to clear her schedule for that morning. She wasn’t sure what she would do, but the morning of she decided. She would go to Kiamo Ko. Alone.
So, off she went. She brought a few things in a bag, including the hat, and took off in her bubble. She wasn’t sure what she would do there, but it felt right to be in that place, away from all of the celebrations in the rest of Oz.
When she arrived, she went up to the top floor. The place where she and Elphaba had said goodbye. The place where Glinda hid and heard that scream that had never left her since. She sat on a balcony, looking out at Oz.
She hadn’t slept well in a year. She was haunted by nightmares. The Melting, as it had occurred. The Melting, with Glinda throwing the water. The Wizard, coming back to kill her. And more.
She was exhausted, from the lack of sleep and the stress of running Oz. She had promised Elphaba she would make Oz better. And she tried. But Elphaba had abandoned Glinda. Maybe Glinda should abandon the promise.
It had been several hours since she arrived. Without realizing, Glinda had moved to stand at the edge of the balcony, looking down. She thought about that fateful day in the Emerald City, when Elphaba leapt out the window. How free she had looked. Glinda wanted that freedom. Of feeling nothing but air around her as she fell down, down, down. The pain of the impact surely couldn’t be worse than the pain she had been enduring every day. And then the pain would stop. She wouldn’t have to endure this life alone anymore.
She hesitated for a few moments. “What if Elphaba isn’t gone? What if she comes back, and I’m not here?”
Another voice in her head, “She left you. She’s not coming back. You have no one.”
And so she accepted that today would be the end of Glinda the Good. She had put one leg over the railing when she heard a voice behind her.
“Glinda! Stop!” It was Boq.
Glinda turned to see Boq running toward her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the balcony.
“Glinda, don’t do it,” he said, continuing to pull her further from the ledge.
“Let go of me!” Glinda yelled, twisting her arm to try and break free. “I want to. I…I can’t do this anymore.” With that last sentence she broke into tears, sinking down onto the floor.
“It’s ok, Glinda. I’m here,” Boq said, hugging her. “You don’t have to deal with this on your own.”
After a few minutes, Glinda looked up at him. “How did you know I was here? I didn’t even know I was going to come here until this morning.”
“I was coming to the palace to talk to you. I didn’t want you to be alone today. But as I was coming up to the gate, I saw your bubble fly off to the West. I figured you’d be coming here. So I came.”
“I’m glad you did,” Glinda said in a whisper. “I would have done it if you didn’t show up when you did.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really. Maybe another day. But today it’s just too much.”
“I understand,” said Boq. “But look at me. I’m serious. Anytime you need anything, I am here. I know I’m not Fiyero, and I know I’m not her, but I’m here for you. You have me. You’re not alone.”
“Thank you, Boq,” Glinda sobbed, pulling Boq into an even tighter hug. “Thank you.”
Glinda shook herself out of the memory. Boq was really the only reason she had survived for the past 5 years. He knew when she was taking on too much. He knew when a comment about Elphaba from a council member was going to send her into a spiral. He knew, maybe more than Glinda did, how much Elphaba had meant to her. And he knew that Glinda had taken all of that love and care she had for Elphaba and put it onto the people of Oz. She protected them fiercely, the way she wished she could have protected Elphaba all those years ago.
The other reason she had survived this long is by clinging to the tiny shard of hope she barely let herself feel that Elphaba would come back someday.
Glinda began to panic. Why had she sent Elphaba back into Oz? And so close to the Melting anniversary too? People had mostly moved on from their fear of the Wicked Witch, but at this time every year they became vengeful. Elphaba wasn’t safe out there.
Stop. Breathe. Glinda sat down on the floor, feeling her back pressing on the wall behind her. Elphie is smart. She can disguise herself now. She’ll be safe.
But a new fear crept into Glinda’s mind. Elphaba said she would come back, but what if she changed her mind? What if she hated Glinda for what she had said? What if that had been the last time they spoke, for real this time?
Glinda looked out her balcony to the West, out of habit more than anything. Please let her come back. I need her. More than anything.