Something Better

You can see the righteous dream

Look around you (Look around you),

has it found you? (Has it found you?)

Is it what it really seems?

“What was so urgent that I had to skip work to be here?” Sirius asks, laughing as he drops a kiss to Remus’ forehead before sitting down. For the first time in months, they’re back at their table, in their cafe.

“Six months ago, to the day, we met here. I was crying, remember?” Sirius chuckles.

“I remember, how could I forget.” It is Sirius that places his hand palm up on the table. It is Remus that places his own hand, palm down, atop it. They both curl their fingers in at the same time, holding on.

“I was crying, and you were beautiful. God, I thought you were so beautiful.” Sirius blushes and ducks his head down. Still, now, after all this time, he still struggles to take a compliment. He is wearing suit trousers and a thick knitted sweater. He is glowing. He is beautiful.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what we own, recently. Possession, love. What it means to own something; to love an object so much it must be inherently and explicitly ours and no one else's. I’ve been thinking about the way we share.” Sirius nods. By now he is used to the way Remus waxes poetic, spouting off often nonsensical speeches about whatever it is that’s stuck in his head that week.

“I love you so much that the idea of possession is abhorrent to me.” he hasn’t said it yet- they haven't said it yet, but Remus has been thinking it the whole time. Feeling it the whole time.

“I love you so much that I need the world to see you too, because I also love the world. I want to share you with the world. I am eternally grateful the world chose to share you with me. I want to take it a step further.” Remus digs into his pocket and removes a small velvet pouch.

“I want to share my world with you. I want you to share my world with me. I want to create our own world.” he pushes the pouch across the table to Sirius, who opens it gingerly. There are silent tears dancing down his cheeks, and Remus treasures them. Sirius withdraws the keys. Remus had them cut last week. A third set that will unlock the little red-brick townhouse he and Teddy share.

“There is no time pressure. This is not me asking for anything. It is an offer. It doesn’t have to mean that you leave your home, it could just mean that you can enter mine whenever you wish to. I want you to live with us, I also want what you want.” Sirius nods, more tears flow. He is pink and beautiful and Remus squeezes his hand, before picking it up and kissing it. “What do you want, Sirius?” Sirius nods.

“Next year. When the baby is born- when Lily and James need less help around the house. Next year, I’ll move in with you.”

“How do you want to do it? I can give you your own bedroom? A study? I want it to be our house, not my house that you move into. If you want to redesign, we can. I mean- I’m doing well right now, I can afford to.”

“Remus, my love,” Remus could feel himself glowing. Sirius hadn’t called him that before. “If there’s anything I want to bring or change, I’ll pay for it. You know I’m rich, I’ve told you I’m rich.”

“I didn’t want you to feel obligated.” Sirius nodded slowly.

“Joint savings account. Lets make one, and agree what to put in it. Then joint things- fun purchases for Teddy, holidays, meals, furniture. We can buy it out of that.” Remus is stunned. He has just asked Sirius to move in with him, and Sirius even said yes, and he is still stunned when Sirius says things that shows he is just as committed to their relationship as Remus is.

“Okay, joint bank account. Holidays, furniture.” Sirius squeezes his hand, laughing through the tears that are still flowing.

“Remus. Remus, a life.”

A life.

Hold me closely

Hold me tightly, lest I fall

(I will always love you)