Something Better

Will anybody ever love me? (Love me)

For good reasons

Without grievance,

not for sport

His laptop screen blurred and doubled as tears flooded his eyes, obscuring his vision. Remus hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut as if they could dam the stream building up in his tear ducts. He gripped his knees with his hands, digging in with bitten-blunt nails, trying to breathe through the assault of grief.

“Hi, sorry, am I alright to sit here? It’s just, every table is taken and- shit, mate, are you okay?” A voice somewhere above him, a gentle hand on his shoulder. Remus sniffed and looked up, nodding.

“Yeah, sit, please.” his voice thick with tears and mucus.

“I have a tissue in here somewhere, let me just,” the stranger placed his tray down opposite Remus’ set up, and started digging in his pockets.

“Here.” a crumpled packet of tissues being offered from a pale hand. Remus accepted gratefully.

“Thank you, sorry, I just-”

“No worries, mate.” the stranger interrupts. “We all have those days, don’t we?” he says, pulling the chair out and sitting down. Remus wiped his streaming eyes and finally got a good look at him. He was pretty- really pretty. Model editorial pretty. Large blue eyes, thick eyelashes, high cheekbones, the works.

“Yeah. been having a lot of them recently.” Remus huffed, smiling self-depricatingly. The stranger nodded sympathetically as he pulled a sleek laptop out of his bag.

“We all have those times when the moments are close together, then. Lord knows I have. I’m Sirius, by the way. Thanks for letting me sit here, even when you’re having a moment.” he’s smiling softly at Remus and his hair is long, down to his shoulders, and the front strands hang in front of his face and its actually unfair, Remus thinks, that some people just win the genetic lottery like that.

His nose has never fit his face and his blond eyebrows are too pale for his weirdly olive skin and his teeth are crooked and his eyes close up when he smiles. Lots of things aren’t fair, he thinks. His unfortunate face is the least of them.

“I’m Remus. It’s nice to meet you, and to be honest your presence has pulled me out of the moment, so you’re doing me a favour by being here.” Remus twists the ring on his finger and does a very deliberate job of not thinking about Nym as he smiles at the handsome stranger.

“Anytime, mate. I’m happy to help.” Sirius smiles, before turning to his laptop, brow furrowing as he reads whatever is on the screen. Remus takes a long sip of his cooling hot chocolate, and returns to his work. An hour passes in companionable silence.

“I’ve got to run now, but it was nice meeting you. Thanks for the tissues, and the company.” Remus breaks the silence. Sirius looks up at him, and beams. He is very pretty when he smiles.

“Running off somewhere interesting?”

“Picking up my son from playgroup.” Remus supplies. The stranger smiles again. Remus wonders if he’ll ever see him again.

“Well then, have fun.” Sirius says as Remus shoulders his backpack and leaves.